because they get stuck in the snow down there? or because they're idiots and that turnover chain is going to keep them from really going anywhere because they value swag more than performance?
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See, I thing something more appropriate would be a late 1970's MG midget from Britain:
It might look ok, but it only really works well about three weekends a year, it doesn't really go fast when it does go, and of course, it always can point to it's heritage and be snooty about it.
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If you try to take the Ironto road out of Blacksburg in a semi you are going to have a bad time. Spend all that money on a fancy semi, but don't get a nav system meant for trucks, sounds like something UVA would do.
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this was on Mt Tabor. I know because I was trying to go the same way to beat traffic after the game and had to back up the hill to the nearest driveway to turn around and brave 460/81 to get back to Forest. Thankfully, this was a couple hours after the game and the main highway went from bumper-to-bumper to clear in the time it took me to head out Mt Tabor and then make it back.
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UVa football compared to British cars that work for a few weekends a year? Sure, I can see that as long as it's in September against borderline FBS schools...at home...as a double digit favorite
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If you loved ACC Football teams as Cars, then you'll love the follow-up series of ACC Football teams as Fast Food Restaurants.
I now present ACC Football teams as Fast Food Restaurants. DISCLAIMER: BOJANGLES IS NOT INVOLVED IN THIS LIST. SORRY JOHN SWOFFORD.— Danny Barry (@TheDannyBarry) July 31, 2018
CLEMSON - Dominant. Solid. Sturdy. Nationally recognized and respected. They're McDonald's. pic.twitter.com/dEYRsl0IoU— Danny Barry (@TheDannyBarry) July 31, 2018
FLORIDA STATE - You might dislike them for ethical reasons, but you can never deny how good they are. They're Chick-fil-A. pic.twitter.com/k8IrbqIcj4— Danny Barry (@TheDannyBarry) July 31, 2018
NORTH CAROLINA STATE - You're going to walk by without a problem, but they lure you in with their sense of promise. You get a taste, and you get excited. But then you're left slightly disappointed and wishing there was more. They're Auntie Anne's. pic.twitter.com/V0DdtkGpfh— Danny Barry (@TheDannyBarry) July 31, 2018
LOUISVILLE - Came out of nowhere and were solid for a while. Everyone thought they'd stick it out with the best of 'em. But then they were marred by a scandal that's slowly taken them down. They're Chipotle. pic.twitter.com/uRrLJIu2wq— Danny Barry (@TheDannyBarry) July 31, 2018
WAKE FOREST - You have a pretty great memory from years ago, but you've never brought yourself to go back. They're Arby's. pic.twitter.com/Jnn8ors4La— Danny Barry (@TheDannyBarry) July 31, 2018
BOSTON COLLEGE - Solid. Reliable. Sturdy. Hearty. Built for DUDES. They're Boston Market. pic.twitter.com/9xeKk4wxlO— Danny Barry (@TheDannyBarry) July 31, 2018
SYRACUSE - Beloved by a small subset of the country who won't shut up about them. Think they're a football school when really they're just a basketball school. They're Wawa. pic.twitter.com/8ZgdhUKsbr— Danny Barry (@TheDannyBarry) July 31, 2018
MIAMI - Stuck in the past. Produces some really solid talent if you're willing to wait a bit. They're Steak 'n Shake. pic.twitter.com/UZMySZwLNC— Danny Barry (@TheDannyBarry) July 31, 2018
GEORGIA TECH - They run the same three plays in a variety of formats. Also the day after playing them, you feel like shit. They're Taco Bell. pic.twitter.com/uvthn8TITp— Danny Barry (@TheDannyBarry) July 31, 2018
VIRGINIA - Way too pretentious of a place for the product it puts out. They're Shake Shack. pic.twitter.com/EaTSjEmoPK— Danny Barry (@TheDannyBarry) July 31, 2018
NORTH CAROLINA - You always hear about them, they're everywhere, and you're never really sure why. You're not convinced everything about them is legit. They're Subway. pic.twitter.com/i5ufiaszzW— Danny Barry (@TheDannyBarry) July 31, 2018
DUKE - They technically play football, but everyone just goes for the basketball. They're Dairy Queen. pic.twitter.com/OC8wTvfXWi— Danny Barry (@TheDannyBarry) July 31, 2018
PITTSBURGH - Usually you're perfectly fine. But every once in a while they completely mess you up. They're Panda Express. pic.twitter.com/moYU1BNYOy— Danny Barry (@TheDannyBarry) July 31, 2018
NOTRE DAME - Absolutely everywhere. Their fans permeate every city they're in. Not technically part of the ACC. Way better local alternatives exist. They're Starbucks. pic.twitter.com/iruI8K3KnP— Danny Barry (@TheDannyBarry) July 31, 2018
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It'd be bending the rules a bit, because they're not exactly a fast food place, but replace Cookout with Waffle House and the list would be just about perfect. It just doesn't feel right for a school outside of NC to be Cookout. They'd have fit nicely with NC State.
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This was funny but there is maybe one or two places I probably won't call fast food, someone I know had a perfect definition for fast food "If it doesn't have a drive thru then it's not fast food".
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Comments
Still wish we were a truck.
Side note I love that UVA is a boat, not even like a nice boat but like older, needs paint, rattle canned, IASIP boat
1 of these things aint like the other one of these things doesn't belong.
This should be loluva's boat...
party boat? how many zima's can you drink on a boat before you puke everywhere and have the worst hangover known to man?
about the same number as the number of fans at the lolUVA spring practice...
ugh that's 2 to many for me.
Not a car...but how about a driver:
UVa Football = Dick Trickle
Dick Tickle. His French cousin.
Hey don't talk shit about Richard Trickle. He was an American icon. God rest his soul.
UVA showing up for football season
Seeing the Escalade for Miami is perfect. The first thing I thought of was Larry Coker rolling up in his Escalade to recruit Willie Williams.
Willie Williams
Tragic story though
Tragic tale
The Escalade has turnover chains on the wheels. Perfect little detail.
because they get stuck in the snow down there? or because they're idiots and that turnover chain is going to keep them from really going anywhere because they value swag more than performance?
via GIPHY
That's next level off season analysis right there.
I feel like UVA should be a 1989 Honda Accord, given that was the last, and only, time they had a 10 win season
See, I thing something more appropriate would be a late 1970's MG midget from Britain:
It might look ok, but it only really works well about three weekends a year, it doesn't really go fast when it does go, and of course, it always can point to it's heritage and be snooty about it.
As much as I hate to admit it (because I like British cars from that era), I think you nailed it.
That is a better car to take to the polo match, with ample room to take a nice picnic basket filled with Chardonnay and Brie.
Even more appropriate British car: Reliant Robin - it rolls over at the slightest hint of difficulty
Could apply to UNC as well
You mean it doesn't handle well in the rain?
Ah hoo are we kidding - this should definitely be UVA.
If you try to take the Ironto road out of Blacksburg in a semi you are going to have a bad time. Spend all that money on a fancy semi, but don't get a nav system meant for trucks, sounds like something UVA would do.
this was on Mt Tabor. I know because I was trying to go the same way to beat traffic after the game and had to back up the hill to the nearest driveway to turn around and brave 460/81 to get back to Forest. Thankfully, this was a couple hours after the game and the main highway went from bumper-to-bumper to clear in the time it took me to head out Mt Tabor and then make it back.
That Top Gear episode has to be one of the funniest if not the funniest episode they ever filmed.
UVa football compared to British cars that work for a few weekends a year? Sure, I can see that as long as it's in September against borderline FBS schools...at home...as a double digit favorite
Well, they're generally underpowered, too.
And prone to random failure.
Louisville as an F7? More like a Tesla 3. Flashy and trendy - but probably a piece of sh*t
Overrated with limited range.
BC being the Phaeton W12 was a nice touch.
Shouldn't UNC be a Volkswagen?
UNC should be a motorcycle. Flashy with appeal to some but overall not that practical and basically unusable in the rain
Nice. I was going for the cheating angle
Ah, yes. The Volkswagen diesel.
spoken like a true cager.
If you loved ACC Football teams as Cars, then you'll love the follow-up series of ACC Football teams as Fast Food Restaurants.
I'll take Cookout over any other chain listed. #FIGHTME
The Pitt/Panda Express is on point though.
The list as a whole is dead accurate. VT/Cookout are the best institutions on the list, though.
This is really well thought out. Not sure I'd be able to do better. The Duke and Dairy Queen is perfect.
It'd be bending the rules a bit, because they're not exactly a fast food place, but replace Cookout with Waffle House and the list would be just about perfect. It just doesn't feel right for a school outside of NC to be Cookout. They'd have fit nicely with NC State.
I was hoping the whole time not to see waffle house unless it was us. I agree that it is not fast food but it is food decently fast.
As possibly the only person left in the universe that likes Arby's, I feel a new kinship with Wake Forest.
\o/
0-0
You are not alone.
You're not the only one. We're a small, but elite club, my friend.
Hah, GT as Taco Bell is perfect. One trip there and you're dealing with the runs all day.
How dare they disgrace Auntie Anne's! They're the only thing that helps me get through being in a shopping mall.
EDIT: Nevermind, totally misread it. Carry on...
This was funny but there is maybe one or two places I probably won't call fast food, someone I know had a perfect definition for fast food "If it doesn't have a drive thru then it's not fast food".