It's been a rough season thus far. I'd like to remind everyone that some have said in the past that a hypothetical 1-11 season would still be ok so long as that one win came over LOLUVa. Of course, anyone who said that was probably secretly thinking 6-7 was the lowest we'd ever see in the post independence bowl era. No matter. Let's cast aside all our or frustrations with our own team and dig down deep for some good old fashioned hatin' on the douchebags from cville and their weirdo coach.
Bronco Mendenhall put a video of his team breaking a pacer on the internet, but the real team building exercise was a group voodoo doll stabbing for each player on Tech's defense.
Bronco Mendenhall told the fans in Charlottesville not to make holiday plans because they were gonna go bowling in his first season...he then managed to go 2-10.
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When he's really feeling good about himself, behind closed doors, Bronco whispers "the juice is on the loose" and fist pumps in the air.
Bronco Mendenhall is so bad at coaching he brought UVA back to a bowl game while Tech has to win out to go... wait
Wait, I thought Al Groh was coaching LOLUVA football again...
Bronco's only going to a bowl because he schedules easy games like Old Domin.... wait a second.
Lemme try:
Bronco has less than 30 ACC-caliber players, and will end up with a winning record. Jokes on him!
Bronco Mendenhall is pleased that we're using the Hatin' On thread to drag our coaching staff when one already exists to do just that.
Seriously. What the hell is everyone's problem? Keep your pessimistic whining shit on one of many threads pegged for it. Hate on bronco here or GTFO.
Bronco Mendenhall was alarmed that UVA football players were showing their bare ankles
Bronco makes porridge every morning and calls it Mendenhall and Oats
Bronco tells his team to quit cable at halftime.
I thought this was a Hatin' On Thread...that's actually smart
Idk, maybe we're doing it wrong but it's kind of a pain in the ass....
Bronco has been blown out four times this season and hasn't beaten an FBS opponent at home
Wait shit I'm really bad at this
Glass house
That post was about our team. UVA beat Miami at home.
I'll "Whoosh" myself then
Bronco doesn't realize that the Hokies are just pretending to suck so that UVA gets their hopes up
One can only dream this is the case.
Bronco is missing a bunch of pavers from his backyard project after sacrificing them in August to stir up his players about a game in November.
Bronco was really upset he was not featured or mentioned during the OJ police chase in the 90s. OJ would have been a great runner on his BYU teams.
Bronco doesn't think Book of Mormon is a good theatrical evening.
Bronco didn't understand why his freshmen and sophomore players stay in school for two years and not get married. Don't they know how BYU works!?
I hate this dirty fake tough guy son of a bitch. That is all
Bronco is very excited to play in Scott Stadium south...oy vey!!
Bronco Mendenhall wanted a cupcake schedule to open the year and now they haven't beat a team with a winning record since mid-October.
Our last win over a team with a winning record was in September
hey, we know we suck. This weekend we have a chance to prove that LOLUVa's "great" season is all smoke a mirrors from a shitty schedule. I don't see a single quality win on their schedule:
RIchmond
Ohio
Louisville
Miami
Duke
UNC
Liberty
also, this is a hatin' on thread. There's no room for your logic or pessimism.
Looking at those four ACC opponents, who would have guessed at the beginning of the season that the only win that could even be remotely considered good would be Duke?
Bronco made his groomsmen wear ascots.
"groomsmen wear ascots" anagrams to "a newscaster smog room"
Bronco Mendenhall shops for clothes at Sears.
Bronco Mendenhall shops for furniture at Sears.
Bronco Mendenhall shops for bedsheets at Sears.
Bronco Mendenhall shops at Sears.
What kind of maniac even does that?
Bronco Mendenhall doesn't even shop at Sears, he uses the catalog.
Bronco was afraid to have his boys swing a hammer at anything more substantial than a flimsy paver because he thought it might fail as hard as his last motivational attempt:
Fuck Bronco. I'm tired of all his stupid "Beat Tech" shit. I'm tired of hearing UVA's gonna win. It's not gonna fucking happen because UVA is soft and can't handle the pressure of this streak. I am so fucking tired of hearing everyone bash this team and think that UVA is gonna destroy them. Have a little faith for God's sake. I know it's been a rough year and it sucks to watch this team get beat up on but I believe in Fuente to win the one game that matters. Because Bronco's shit, he names kids worse than his parents did, and he will NOT "Beat Tech".
What? Over? Did you say 'over'? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Monarchs bombed Pearl Harbor? (Monarchs? Forget it -he's rolling) Hell no!...
And It ain't over now, 'cause when the goin' gets tough, the tough get goin'. Who's with me? Let's go! Come on!..
Bluto (returning): What the f--k happened to the Hokies I used to know? Where's the spirit? Where's the guts, huh? This could be the greatest night of our lives, but you're gonna let it be the worst. 'Ooh, we're afraid to go with you- we might get in trouble.' (shouting) Well, just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I'm not gonna take this. Mendenhall?, he's a dead man! Perkins?, dead! Zaccheus...
DEAD ! Bluto's right. Psychotic, but absolutely right. We gotta take these bastards. Now, we could fight 'em with conventional weapons. That could take years and cost millions of lives. No, in this case, I think we have to go all out. I think this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part.
We're just the guys to do it...
LET'S DOOOOOOOO IT!!!!!!!!!!
Bronco uses only floral scented hygiene products because they make him feel fresh.
That's why his nickname in college was the Kotex Kid.
God damnit, I woke the baby up when I laughed at this...
Bronco grew a beard and called it his 'bag magnet'
Bronco named his kids Pony and Mustang.
... and his two dogs Fusion and Fiesta
even better
It looks like he named his kids after varieties of Old Spice deodorant
Reminds me of this too...
I thought it was after bug sprays: Raeder, Breaker, and Cutter.
Breaker Mendenhall...
Break her what???
Left out Pinto
Bronco thinks Flex Seal is strong enough to fix the holes in our defense.
Bronco Mendenhall once yelled at his grandma for calling him Marc (his real first name).
In 2010, it was week 16 of the NFL season, and the Championship week of my Fantasy Football League.
I had a fairly solid team, so did my opponent. I really thought I had it locked up - but, on the other side, my opponent's starting D/ST against the Browns that day were the Steelers. Needless to say, they crushed the hapless Browns, and really added to my opponents tally in the scoring column.
However, that wasn't the deciding factor in me losing the matchup, and thus, the Championship, on that fateful day. Oh no. It was a running back. A running back who put forth a two touchdown effort on the day, even though he rushed for less than forty yards. A running back for those very same Steelers. A running back with the last name of...
Mendenhall.
Rashard Mendenhall, to be exact. But that's neither here nor there. All that matters for the purposes of this thread is that I've loathed the name ever since. I despise the name Mendenhall - and on Saturday? On Saturday, we're going to smack Bronco Mendenhall and the rest of the Hoos over the head with all of those 'BEAT TECH' signs, and bury them under the rubble of their own busted up rocks.
Bronco reads Zima labels at halftime to motivate his players.
Bronco thinks the newest Star Wars movies are better than the original trilogy.
Bronco Mendenhall thinks the Denver football team is named after him
Bronco Mendenhall thinks LOLUVA is a football school.
Bronco credits his team success this year to the smell of burnt toast
Bronco thinks ramming is what makes his team so tough
#HardThingsTogether
Bronco takes showers from his bidet
And he doesn't even have a bidet...
Bronco has a bedazzler and isn't afraid to use it.
FTFY.
Bronco hits his first tee shot in the rough. Then he "rides" the driver like a pony off the tee box yelling "BOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" But the others in the foursome haven't teed off yet.
Bronco is the off brand Buzz Williams
Bronco sniffs other people's farts...and he likes it.
frank may have had the "who farted?" face, but this is clearly different. This is the "dammit I hate my yearly digital exam" face.
Bronco has different scents that he puts into his headset for different game situations.
UVA has never beaten us during Mendenhall's Head Coaching career.
Bronco always eats asparagus just before giving a urine sample at the doctors office
So... Random bit of info here.
The asparagus urine smell is made by everybody, but only some people can smell it.
Ok TKP FAM! It's Wednesday and this is 'Hatin' On' featuring my little pony - the coach of our in-state rival in which we all share the utmost disdain for. I get it, we're all disappointed in this seasons on-field results but that's no excuse to let bronco off the hook. He deserves as much if not more hate than any other coach we've faced. So far (and it's almost game day) this 'hatin' on' is lamer than our second half offense.
Lets Go TKP and let the bronco hate flow!!!
Bronco Mendenhall doesn't understand why people snicker when he asks them to call him coach BM.
Bronco Mendenhall thinks the words "chigger," "niggardly," and "adjudicate" are all racial slurs.
When bronco was 11 he put himself up for adoption because even his parents wouldn't claim him
Mendenhall selfie:
Bronco trumpeted their return to bowl season last year...only to get routed by a Navy team that didn't allow a single offensive TD that game.
Bronco realizes the importance of this game and awarded Bryce Perkins the #25 jersey
Bronco's roster reads like a less funny version of Key and Peele:
OLAMIDE ZACCHEAUS
PK KIER
HASISE DUBOIS
JAMARI PEACOCK
ZANE ZANDIER
GLADIMIR PAUL
EVAN BUTTS
TOMMY CHRIST
GERRIK VOLLMER
MATT GAHM
ELI HANBACK
BEN KNUTSON
MARCUS APPLEFIELD
RYAN SWOBODA
WEBSTER HILL IV
JAKE FIELER
COLE BLACKMAN (It's funny cause he's as white as can be)
OSIRIS CRUTCHFIELD
AARON FAUMUI
COLE LYTLE
PARKER CHENAULT
TUCKER FINKELSTON
ZAIN KHOKHAR
MICAH MARITERAGI
VICTOR OLUWATIMI
WAYNE TAULAPAPA
WOOBY THEORK-YOUMANS
Sounds like a Polish book club member list
Bronco kept Marques Hagans on staff even after Hagans was called out for organizing a hazing/fight club that ended a receiver's career with a broken orbital socket.
I showed up late to fight club so I didn't hear all of the rules but I can't recommend fight club highly enough. Fight club is a blast and you all should join, because fight club is incredible. If you want, hit me up so we can talk about fight club
Bronco likes to do hard things together.
Bronco Mendenhall thinks UVA should've kicked the field goal on 1st & 10 in Overtime.
Bronco said he'll try again next year
Bronco Mendenhall took the best LOLUVa team in 20 years and still managed to lose to the worst Tech team in 20 years.
Fuck Bronco.
Bronco is currently perusing the Sears catalog in search of something even bigger to break with a sledgehammer next summer.
We don't have a concrete slab or countdown clock; we just have The Commonwealth Cup