Every time I see a person with a handicap license plate or window tag park like this I think, that doesn't give you license to park like a Nardouchebag. But I've also learned a lot of tow places don't like towing vehicles with those tags even if they park like this.
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I know it was a late season OOC game, and UVA has had injuries. It just seems like Bronco has coached much more conservatively than i remember from earlier in the year.
Hard to say how much is not giving away more than they have to, and how much is his actual confidence in the current team
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Bronco Mendenhall thinks that recruits are impressed by the fan support during their spring game Spring Zima and cheese festival(all 10 fans in attendance).
FTFY
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When Bronco recruits a player he sits them down in the film room and shows them a highlight of OJ Simpson. Once it's done he walks in the room with a chair, places it backwards in front of the recruit and sits down. He then stares at them awkwardly for 3 minutes until he says "The moral of that film is that when one of the best running backs needs to run away he uses a white bronco." He then stares at them awkwardly some more before standing up, offering to shake there hand and thanking them for considering "THE University of Virginia".
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Bronco Mendenhall chose to coach for a school whose alumni and fan base (not all of them, of course. There are the occasional non-shitheads) have a massive superiority complex.
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When Bronco Mendenhall tries to buy your house in November, he makes a list of 15 items he wants fixed after the home inspection typed it in 7 point font, with one of the items being a request to clean the debris out of the gutters. He then also refuses when you offer to drop the price, insisting on the repairs.
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I feel bad for this kid. He has that "F***! Get me away from this jerk ASAP. I am only smiling because my mama told me she would smack me if I didn't smile" look.
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Personally I'm grateful for Bronco Mendenhall. Once Perkins is gone I think they go back to the usual 2-3 win seasons we've grown to know and love, but it delays the inevitable hiring of a new coach.
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After grueling 48 minute practices, Bronco Mendenhall likes to have a Raspberry Kiss cocktail at his local watering hole. While he is sitting at the bar, the bartender gets a call asking if a Richard Smoker is there. When he asks the bar, Bronco shoots up his index finger and says that would be for me, I'll take that. The befuddled bartender apprehensively hands him the phone and lisps What the Hell Bronco? You told us you were the Ram Man !!
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Bronco prefers eating Papa John's pizza Friday after Thanksgiving. Not cause he doesn't like it, or there aren't enough. It's cause it's the only thing worth eating after getting your ass beat by the Hokies.
Gobble gobble mother fucker.
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Famika Anae, Robert Anae''s son, was convicted of assault for punching a man in the face at a movie theatre because he wanted the man to move and he refused. Afterwards, Bronco hired him as a GA at UVA.
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A person goes to an on-site manufacturing brewery and asks about the wine selection. They write a 1-star review on Yelp complaining that a on-site brewery (which by law cannot sell wine) does not sell wine. Bronco doesn't visit the brewery but upvotes the review anyway and copies/reposts it so the brewery gets hit twice.
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Bronco walks into a room and clears his throat so that everyone will stop, turn and look at him. He then gives a wry smile, a slight head nod, and says "sorry to break up this party...go back to whatever it was you were doing." Then he mumbles under his breath something about lack of respect and some other loluva mumble jumble. Bronco then walks over to the dip bowl and finger scoops out a big glop, licks it off his finger, then goes back for seconds. He also brings a plastic bag to stuff some wings into in order to take them home with him, because everyone knows he'll be hungry later on.
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After a visit to the doctor's office, Bronco insists on a lollipop and to be told how much of a big boy he is. Then, he'll remark loudly it's because coaching at UVA is a big boy job and skips out of the office with a big smile on his face
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Bronco rides in a Chevy Bronco, hauling a bronco, to all the hoo's home games. He stops the Chevy Bronco one mile from Scott stadium and rides the bronco bare back into the stadium while whistling and singing Toby Keith's "should have been a cowboy!"
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Bronco Mendenhall refers to last week's Liberty game as "The Holy War" because it pitted an evangelical Christian school against a Mormon school. None of his assistants have the heart to tell him he doesn't coach for BYU anymore.
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Bronco's pushing to have a "two swords clashing" sound effect to be played after UVA scores because he thinks it reflects honor and is more intimate and personal than a canon.
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Bronco Mendenhall thinks that Brian Kelly carefully follows all safety protocols and has the best interests of his players and other students in mind at all times.
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UVA: alright guys you have 30 minutes to shoot practice that's itMe, confused, for 27 of those minutes: pic.twitter.com/BaCVG0BM44— Brooke Leonard (@abrookeleonard) August 22, 2019 " />
Bronco had his team do this at practice.
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Bronco Mendenhall has a reasonable conversation with you on Friday before Thanksgiving about the plan for the schedule on the upcoming short week.
At 4AM the following Monday he sends an email that starts with "Per our conversation last week" and then asks for 10 times more than is acheivable while making it seem like you already agreed.
He then copies all of upper management at his firm and promptly puts an "Out of Office" reply up.
FUCK BRONCO MENDENHALL
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Bronco Mendenhall knows that you're going to be off during the entire holiday week, but still blows up your inbox on Monday, half of which is stuff he could do himself if he wasn't so lazy and trifling.
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Bronco knows that you have a shit load of work to do that requires use of his desk/computer, but continues to look up shit that he can use his personal laptop for. For 2 hours running....
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Bronco drives 26 under so he can drink his coffee and read the comics in the paper while driving to work. He also slows down to coffee toast anyone who responds to his "honk if your a Hoo" bumper sticker.
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Bronco is a realist. He doesn't believe in the Commonwealth Cup just like he doesn't believe in the Loch Ness Monster. I mean, if it was real, wouldn't somebody have seen it in the last decade and a half?
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Comments
Bronco coaches for UVA.
Well that just about says it all. You can close "Hatin on Thread" now.
Bronco has his team do snow angels while Charlottesville is under siege.
In the dog park
Bronco Mendenhall's players got their asses kicked by CJF's before either coached in the Commonwealth
And HERE IT IS
For a bunch of boys that can't have caffeine, that was right rowdy.
Bronco Medenhall farts in the elevator and blames it on you
And then sniffs wondering who let it out.
Yes, did you call me?
Bronco won't tell his team, you can easily break a paver with a lot less force than a sledgehammer.
Bronco thinks pavers are rocks
Bronco uses a table clothe when setting up for his macho man toughness gimmick
Bronco stole that paver from a Liberty construction site.
Bronco is a cheese-eating cavalier.
His record is 24-25. I hope after next week it's 24-26.
Bronco asked for a noon kickoff to get the ass kicking over with early.
Bronco Mendenhall wears condoms while watching Pornhub
Well, at least that protects Pornhub.
Hahaha best hating on ever.
Bronco doesn't realize the size of the wood Bud Foster is gonna swing next week.
His full name is Marc Bronco Clay Mendenhall.
He named his three boys: Raeder, Breaker, and Cutter.
Neither of these statements are lies or embellishments.
And he made all his money coaching at BYU and UVA. Are the Mendenhalls the whitest family in America?
I think he adopted a Korean child that he named Fin Chop.
Bronco took the LOLUVA job. On purpose
Bronco makes players crawl through grass and earn their numbers...how's that working for him?!
Well, that is where they'll be spending a lot of time...
He has his team break rocks or plates or something stupid... I couldn't tell you... it's too cringe watch
Whenever you mention the streak, Bronco likes to change the subject to other sports.
Underrated comment
UVA has a national championship in losing football games to VT. They're the best ever at it.
Even funnier if you had said steak. They are French you know and his nickname is a horse.
Bronco doesn't understand why anyone would ever want to punch Paul Johnson in the chinballs.
Bronco has never learned to count past 15... he will this week.
Bronco wears diapers out of convenience and then blames folks for passing gas when it's just him that just pooped himself.
HEY BRONCO AND LOLUVA
Bronco Mendenhall legitimately thinks toast is the key to beating VT.
OMG
Fuck them
That is all.
Bronco knocks on my door weekly to discuss religion, I tell him it's inappropriate yet he still comes back. FUCK UVA
BM thinks whenever someone brings up a "white Bronco" that they're talking about him.
You forgot to post his picture
Yup...nasal expression checks out.
Yeah, he sounds a little like him, too.
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Bronco after Friday's game!
Bronco thinks that Pat Narduzzi has some valid points about his interpretation of the rules.
Bronco Mendenhall thinks that Pat Narduzzi should complain more about bad calls during a game.
Bronco Mendenhall gives his friends and family gift baskets for Christmas filled with the finest motel room toiletries you can imagine.
Bronco Mendenhall parks like this
Every time I see a person with a handicap license plate or window tag park like this I think, that doesn't give you license to park like a Nardouchebag. But I've also learned a lot of tow places don't like towing vehicles with those tags even if they park like this.
Bronc took a page out of Kelly's book and kept his momma's tags when he put her in a home.
Bronco tells his team to do hard things together in the bathroom and then has them pretend to be tough by hitting a fragile paver.
Bronco doesn't think the HokieNation travels well and won't take over Lane North.
Bronco Mendenhall poops standing up.
And pees sitting down.
You have to stand up to poop in a urinal.
When Bronco Mendenhall changes his mind about the ice cream he just put in the cart, he leaves it in the bread aisle.
Bronco Mendenhall purposely messes with his players pregame rituals because, "c'mon, it's not like it actually affects anything".
Bronco Mendenhall pulls his pants down to his ankles when he pees.
Bronco Mendenhall says shit like, "it's so gross when a steak is still bloody" and "I'm only doing it ironically".
Bronco Mendenhall thinks the Red Ranger would totally beat up the Green (later White) Ranger.
Bronco prefers Rocky to Jason. He also thinks the actor playing Rocky had Oscar worthy talent.
Bronco Mendenhall has a girl he casually dated 4 years ago listed as his emergency contact.
Watched a lot of UVA Liberty.
I know it was a late season OOC game, and UVA has had injuries. It just seems like Bronco has coached much more conservatively than i remember from earlier in the year.
Hard to say how much is not giving away more than they have to, and how much is his actual confidence in the current team
Bronco Mendenhall breaks into a Hatin' On thread to try and scout the other team.
When Bronco Mendenhall's wife was pregnant, she asked him if he still found her attractive. He responded, "Yeah, kinda. From the back anyway."
Bronco Mendenhall does not make another pot of coffee when he drinks the last cup.
Love Terry Tate.
I approve of this message
Bronco's idol is Grand Moff Tarkin.
Bronco Mendenhall thinks that recruits are impressed by the fan support during their spring game (all 10 fans in attendance).
Bronco Mendenhall thinks recruits are impressed with the card they get with all 10 fan signatures.
FTFY
Bronco Mendenhall anagrams to Lamer Bench London
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When Bronco recruits a player he sits them down in the film room and shows them a highlight of OJ Simpson. Once it's done he walks in the room with a chair, places it backwards in front of the recruit and sits down. He then stares at them awkwardly for 3 minutes until he says "The moral of that film is that when one of the best running backs needs to run away he uses a white bronco." He then stares at them awkwardly some more before standing up, offering to shake there hand and thanking them for considering "THE University of Virginia".
Bronco Mendenhall chose to coach for a school whose alumni and fan base (not all of them, of course. There are the occasional non-shitheads) have a massive superiority complex.
When Bronco Mendenhall tries to buy your house in November, he makes a list of 15 items he wants fixed after the home inspection typed it in 7 point font, with one of the items being a request to clean the debris out of the gutters. He then also refuses when you offer to drop the price, insisting on the repairs.
Not one of my reports then *whew*
Bronco always tries to discuss his homemade egg salad recipe at offseason ACC coaches meetings.
Bronco Mendenhall thinks that Mack Brown was an excellent TV commentator who had perfect delivery of every player's name.
I do miss Matoo-pookah
Bronco Mendenhall bakes soufflés in the locker room, and makes everyone be quiet so they won't fall.
Bronco Mendenhall always mispronounces his name as "Brawn-ko", even when being interviewed by TKP.
Brawn-ko's got what plants crave.
Bronco Mendenhall thinks that ACC refs are perfectly competent and call every single play correctly.
Bronco offers full scholarships. Players decide to walk on at Virginia Tech.
I feel bad for this kid. He has that "F***! Get me away from this jerk ASAP. I am only smiling because my mama told me she would smack me if I didn't smile" look.
He's even trying to do the VT hand sign in the photo.
He's halfway there, and Mendenhall is even trying to help him out.
Bronco Mendenhall still owes me two dollars.
I see your gif, and raise you a...
And "give them that Hokie Pokey" we did... 15 times in a row.
Bronco Mendenhall is not impressed by Bud Foster's career.
Bronco Mendenhall does not think that Steve Addazio is a dude.
Bronco isn't going to appreciate Bud ending the season with three straight shutouts.
Bronco should change his name to Mare Mendenhall
More like Gelding Mendenhall, amirite?
Pitt and GT have combined for more points than fans at UVA's spring game
Bronco Mendenhall only watches dressage at the summer Olympics.
Bronco thinks route 29 should be one-way from Emerson St all the way through downtown
29 doesn't go downtown...
Personally I'm grateful for Bronco Mendenhall. Once Perkins is gone I think they go back to the usual 2-3 win seasons we've grown to know and love, but it delays the inevitable hiring of a new coach.
Bronco sticks his pinky out when he sips tea.
After grueling 48 minute practices, Bronco Mendenhall likes to have a Raspberry Kiss cocktail at his local watering hole. While he is sitting at the bar, the bartender gets a call asking if a Richard Smoker is there. When he asks the bar, Bronco shoots up his index finger and says that would be for me, I'll take that. The befuddled bartender apprehensively hands him the phone and lisps What the Hell Bronco? You told us you were the Ram Man !!
Bronco prefers eating Papa John's pizza Friday after Thanksgiving. Not cause he doesn't like it, or there aren't enough. It's cause it's the only thing worth eating after getting your ass beat by the Hokies.
Gobble gobble mother fucker.
If he waited to Saturday, he could get it 1/2 price.
TECH40 baby! Except that it doesn't work at Papa John's in florida.... :/
Bronco poops, doesn't flush, and then doesn't wash his hands.
Bronco reads the Sabre.
Bronco gets on the Sabre and pretends to be a Hokie to get the posters there fired up.
Bronco thinks it's OK to beat someone up if you want their seat in the movie theater.
wut
Famika Anae, Robert Anae''s son, was convicted of assault for punching a man in the face at a movie theatre because he wanted the man to move and he refused. Afterwards, Bronco hired him as a GA at UVA.
Robert Anae was also present when former player Aidan Howard suffered a broken eye socket during a UVa Football initiation ritual.
So overall, standup guy /s.
The fact that he still has a job is ridiclious and indicative of their culture. I hope every UVa commit knows what they're getting into.
I don't think he's still at UVA.
Offensive Coordinator
Yea, even though you wrote Robert, I had Famika in my head. Famika is no longer at UVA.
Bronco really believes Dabo when he classifies Clemson as part of the "rest of y'all"
Bronco epitomizes a lack of awareness of social awkwardness.
Bronco prefers croissants over donuts
Hey this is a hatin' on thread - let's not say things we can't take back
These aren't even in these same class of baked goods though
Donuts are cake, so there's that.
Mendenhall thinks they're in the same class.
A person goes to an on-site manufacturing brewery and asks about the wine selection. They write a 1-star review on Yelp complaining that a on-site brewery (which by law cannot sell wine) does not sell wine. Bronco doesn't visit the brewery but upvotes the review anyway and copies/reposts it so the brewery gets hit twice.
Bronco thinks Justin's last name is pronounced Fwinty
Bronco is an extremely strange guy.
Bronco thinks a noon kickoff will deter Hokies from filling a stadium we already own.
Bronco actually says guh-FAH!
Bronco actually pulls up next to people at a red light and unironically asks if they have any Grey Poupon.
Ford stopped producing Broncos in 1996. Thankfully, this Bronco never really produced.
Bronco farts in the bathtub and bites the bubbles.
I really appreciated this comment. Good work.
Bronco walks into a room and clears his throat so that everyone will stop, turn and look at him. He then gives a wry smile, a slight head nod, and says "sorry to break up this party...go back to whatever it was you were doing." Then he mumbles under his breath something about lack of respect and some other loluva mumble jumble. Bronco then walks over to the dip bowl and finger scoops out a big glop, licks it off his finger, then goes back for seconds. He also brings a plastic bag to stuff some wings into in order to take them home with him, because everyone knows he'll be hungry later on.
Bronco doesn't even own a treadmill
Bronco sets his cruise control 1 mph above the speed limit and camps out in the left lane.
Bronco Mendenhall doesn't get why people snicker when he's called "Coach BM"
Bronco thinks David Cutcliff is a crotchety old man.
And he's right.
David Cutcliff runs up scores when the game is already won. Bastard.
I look at it this way. It was our job to stop him. Running up the score gave our D some great live snaps.
David Cutcliffe running up the score and rubbing our noses in the poopy mess our team was leaving on the field may have turned our season around.
Yes, rubbing our defense's noses in feces was humiliating enough to base a turnaround on.
No, I don't give him credit for that.
And yes, when we step on the gas against them next year, I'll feel he deserves it.
After a visit to the doctor's office, Bronco insists on a lollipop and to be told how much of a big boy he is. Then, he'll remark loudly it's because coaching at UVA is a big boy job and skips out of the office with a big smile on his face
Bronco rides in a Chevy Bronco, hauling a bronco, to all the hoo's home games. He stops the Chevy Bronco one mile from Scott stadium and rides the bronco bare back into the stadium while whistling and singing Toby Keith's "should have been a cowboy!"
It's really a Chevy Cavalier, but he calls it a Bronco because he thinks it sounds better.
Bronco Mendenhall refers to last week's Liberty game as "The Holy War" because it pitted an evangelical Christian school against a Mormon school. None of his assistants have the heart to tell him he doesn't coach for BYU anymore.
Bronco Mendenhall is the Usain Bolt of running a shitty program.
Bronco Mendenhall is the
Usain BoltInsane Dolt of running a shitty program.FIFY
Starting a gofundme early this year for "Bronco's Mendingballs"
Bronco's pushing to have a "two swords clashing" sound effect to be played after UVA scores because he thinks it reflects honor and is more intimate and personal than a canon.
Never cross swords #HardThingsTogether
Which begs the question...what DOES a collection of sacred books sound like?
Just messin.......I come from a long line of speling knotzees.
Bronco is responsible for the uva equipment truck constantly getting stuck on the way to/from away games.
Branco Mendenhall makes a Hatin' on Thread so long, so fast that you can't read it fast enough to keep it to a reasonable length.
Bronco Mendenhall thinks Pitt should eat things other than shit.
Bronco Mendenhall thinks that Brian Kelly carefully follows all safety protocols and has the best interests of his players and other students in mind at all times.
Bronco had his team do this at practice.
Bronco trims his pubes then leaves them sticking to the toilet bowl
Bronco Mendenhall is soft.
Bronco Mendenhall has a reasonable conversation with you on Friday before Thanksgiving about the plan for the schedule on the upcoming short week.
At 4AM the following Monday he sends an email that starts with "Per our conversation last week" and then asks for 10 times more than is acheivable while making it seem like you already agreed.
He then copies all of upper management at his firm and promptly puts an "Out of Office" reply up.
FUCK BRONCO MENDENHALL
Bronco's mascot can't even fucking ride... a bronco!
Bronco has been known to enjoy nice long walks at night with his tiki torch.
Bronco Mendenhall knows that you're going to be off during the entire holiday week, but still blows up your inbox on Monday, half of which is stuff he could do himself if he wasn't so lazy and trifling.
Bronco thinks his magic underwear is going to help break the streak.
But he keeps the streak alive!
how can you type "underwear" and "streak" without giggling uncontrollably?
Bronco knows that you have a shit load of work to do that requires use of his desk/computer, but continues to look up shit that he can use his personal laptop for. For 2 hours running....
Bronco drives 26 under so he can drink his coffee and read the comics in the paper while driving to work. He also slows down to coffee toast anyone who responds to his "honk if your a Hoo" bumper sticker.
Bronco thought he agreed to coaching a team called the Aahoos and is wondering where this extra 'W' comes from because he's never seen it before.
Bronco is a laid back surfer dude, but just that.
Bronco is a realist. He doesn't believe in the Commonwealth Cup just like he doesn't believe in the Loch Ness Monster. I mean, if it was real, wouldn't somebody have seen it in the last decade and a half?
Bronco is a great guy. Every December, he donates truckloads of "UVa: Commonwealth Cup Champion" shirts to kids in third world countries.
Bronco thinks that Notre Dame could take the ACC spot in the Orange Bowl.
Bronco clips his toenails in the breakroom then leaves them piled up beside the Keurig
Bronco has an audio clip of two turtles having sex on constant loop while he sleeps
Bronco dreams of being chasing by velociraptors.
Bronco thinks growing a "playoff beard" is a good look and will actually get his team to the playoffs...
If he grows a beard until LOLuva beats Tech, he is going to look like ZZ Top or Sasquatch.
Hmm... maybe he could style it... Maybe a VT, a Hokie Bird, or the Commonwealth Cup (that would be the closest he would get to actually having it)
Bronco thinks a football game is a great place to sit and read a book.
Then he asks the people around him to help with the big words during a key play.