COVID has been kicking our tails so far this year and we've made it through, but a big game is coming. What do we have for the coach that iced his own kicker against us last year??
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Mack Brown hands out the knockoff Werther's Originals for Halloween
Only one piece per kid. He's used the same bag of candy since 1998.
Mack Brown leaves a $2 bill for tips and gives the waitress a little wink and tells her "there's more where that came from sweetheart"
I mean....is this bad?
Mack Brown yells at his own grandkids to get off his lawn.
But he just enumerates them because he forgot all their names
Mack Brown leaves a game that he is calling in the fourth quarter to catch a flight.
After a "best practice" sharing with Bronco, Mack Brown ordered four rectal thermometers for COVID temperature monitoring.
And uses them orally
All at once to get a quorum
Despite knowing there are other ways to differentiate oral and rectal thermometers than by taste, Mack Brown continues the practice. It builds character.
He did get some advice from Narduzzi
FTFY. Eat Shit Pitt.
Mack Brown thinks COVID is nothing compared to when he had to coach through the 1918 pandemic.
Mack eats at K&W Cafeteria at 3:30 every day. He tells the cashier that he's having a "Mack Attack" every. single. time.
Actually Mack Brown has no place to get the "good mashed potatoes" since the K&W closed a few months ago.
Don't steal my schtick!
Hey, I've eaten enough K&W and lived close to Chapel Hill long enough in my lifetime to have earned this hate.
Haha lol ok!
Mack Brown can't pronounce Werther's!!
Mack Brown's socks smell like moth balls
It's not the socks....
And from the holes in them, the moth balls don't seem to be working.
Mack Brown yells at cloud
Mack Brown doesn't understand the scene when Forrest Gump asks if his kid has development problems.
Mack Brown thinks he could have recruited Gump to play at Texas.
Mack Brown doesn't like shrimp.
Mack Brown thinks it's unfair to play football when it's raining
Mack Brown is somehow better at TV then Mark Richt is.
Mack Brown thinks the down and distance is always accurate during ACCN broadcasts!
Mack Brown is pretty darn old
Mack Brown is the mob boss who gets arrested and then pretends to have Alzhiemers all through the trial. Meanwhile, he is still running "the family," if you get my drift.
Mack Brown's cocktail of choice is Aristocrat and Pepto Bismol on the rocks.
Old Mack drinks Bailey's from a shoe
Mack Brown drives 5 under in the left lane with his left turn signal on and refuses to get over
Mack Brown starts every recruiting pitch with "It all started in nineteen dickety two. You had to say dickety because the KAISER stole our word for twenty! I chased after him to get it back, but gave up after dickety six miles...."
Mack also claims to have invented the terlet! He spent 3 years on that terlet!
Mack Brown recruited that terlet to play QB at Texas.
Mac Brown calls flight attendants "stewardess" and asks if they want to join the mile high club.
Mack Brown's tinder bio says he's 48
Mack Brown has a tinder bio.
Mack Brown thinks Next Door Beaver is a dating site.
Mack Browns uses farmers only
Hey GGC. Sorry, just I saw you asking about the hiking group a couple weeks ago. Had not noticed it and could not post a reply on that tread as it was closed. Is there a way to contact people directly? There was also that person who was looking to transition out of science into business that I figured I could offer some pointers to. Anyway, here is the group:
https://www.linkedin.com/groups/2584388/
It is not just local but for anyone into hiking, backpacking, or trekking.
Mack Brown doesn't like to go hiking, backpacking or trekking
That man is pure evil!
Mack Brown had to walk uphill, in the snow both ways to go to school and come home.
Barefoot...
Mack Brown was going to make a comment here but forgot what he was going to say.
Mack Brown bought the spurtle last night.
He bought several. Then he told his wife that he was getting her "something special."
Mack Brown bought a white BMW 750i because silver was "too flashy."
Mack Brown tells people that Mack the Knife is about him, but he walks around singing "It's Mack tonight."
He also calls Andrew Motuapuaka Andrew Motutupawookie.
I had to read this entire thread because I was going to drop a Mo-tu-tu-po joke. Leg for you.
Mack Brown blows a snot rocket before introducing himself and then offers to shake your hand.
But he only recently picked up this habit, in March of 2020, to be specific.
Mack Brown can't pronounce the names of his own players.
Mack Brown forgets that there's always money in the banana stand.
Is that Nardz?
Mack: So what's you're highschool number
Recruit: 34
Mack: Great!, Number 34, first I want to show you my national championship ring.
Recruit: My name is Jimmy Smith
Mack: I'll never be able to pronounce that number 34
Recruit: ????
Mack: Anyways, take a look at this beauty of a ring.
Recruit: It says Texas on it
Mack: Yup, I was the head coach Texas. But you know Texas Football has a lot in common with UNC, they spare no expense to fund the football program, and here at UNC they spare no expense funding the ::cough::basktetball::cough:: program.
Recruit: Did you just say basketball?
Mack: ::cough::yes::cough:: err where were we?
Recruit: You were showing off your ring
Mack: Yeah, that program has been in the toilet since I left you dont want to go there. UNC is much better, there is no pressure to win here. You can go 8-5 and they just ignore you.
Recruit: Um, ok?
Mack: Let me tell you about the co-eds, its great here, you just have to wait for the basketball team to turn the girls down and then you have your chance.
Recruit: That doesn't sound ideal
Mack: No no, I'm told that there are only 12 guys on a basketball team. Its not like football at all, I mean they have a round ball if you can believe it.
Recruit: You're not really selling this.
Mack: Hmm, did I show you the ring?
Recuit: yup
Mack: Ah well did I tell you about MACtion? (MB laughs like Will Ferrell pretending to be GW Bush)
Recuit: Do I dare ask?
Mack: The MACtion is what brings in all the recruits, its ... oh look at the time I have a flight to catch, see you in camp this summer!
I have visited Chapel Hill. Well Qualified.
Mack thinks they are his daughters, and expects them back at 10pm.
This one I don't get. It sounds funny if you ignore the context about so many people being upset about UNC getting the recruits we've been targeting.
Mac Brown personally trained each and every ACCN cameraperson in preparation for this season.
Mack taught Herzlich everything he knows about color commentating. It was a half hour seminar and Herzlich received a bachelor's degree in English Literature from UNC for it.
Mack Brown has loose skin and old balls
Mack Brown is a cheese wagon.
Mack Brown has a TacVisor in his Buick.
Mack Brown ordered a Cook-Out tray and demanded a double side order of JELLO jigglers.
Mack Brown leaves his dirty dishes on the counter instead of rinsing them off or putting them in the dish washer.
Then, a day later when everything is stuck on, says you need to soak and hand wash them because they won't get clean in the dish washer.
Mack Brown thinks this retirement gig is nice.
Mack Brown eats cheesy poofs in your car and leaves orange finger prints all over the sun visor.
Mack Brown's cell phone has a ringback tone that he set up in 2004 but has forgotten about, so every time his assistant coaches call him they have to hear the "Friends" theme song.
Mack Brown still checks his phone to make sure he's not roaming.
Mack Brown is the president and lone member of the Mitch Trubisky fan club.
Mack Brown didn't need 6 years to build rapport with NC high school coaches
He had Dre Bly do it, cause his jitterbug phone only allows 40 characters for text messages. Or whoever gave Grimes' dad the bag.
Mack Brown stops up the toilet at work but refuses to use the plunger so he just leaves it for the next guy to clear.
And calls it a "Big Mack Brown."
The phrase "ok boomer" was originally directed at Mack Brown.
Mack Brown uses Metamucil to stay regular
Hey man dont knock a man trying to have a little regularity in his life that shit can be a lifesaver.
pun intended?
Mack Brown still thinks the kids use Myspace.
But he calls it MyBook.
He puts all the recruits in his top 8
Mack Brown thinks David Cutcliff's Jitterbug is too complicated.
Mack Brown says "kids these days" when talking about Coach Cut.
Mack Brown sharts when you pull his finger
Mack Brown plays Nickelback on his CD player in his car.
He also sings along loudly and considers this to be the greatest lyric in music history:
Mack Brown doesn't have shit on Frank when it comes to dance moves...
Mack holds all water breaks until somebody finds his dentures.
He also asks accuses people of moving his desktop icons for solitaire.
Mack Brown has a greasy or soapy feel and it is not a coincidence that he coaches at a University whose acronym UNC is the first three letters of the word Unctuous.
Mack Brown asks to see the manager at the local coffee shop because his pumpkin spice latte isn't pumpkiny enough for him.
Mack Brown face timing a recruit....
I can make you the...,.zzzzzzzzz...... Vince..... zzzzz.....Young. How's that sound?
Upon hearing VT's entire secondary was out, Mack Brown is reported as saying it didn't stop him from winning in the Big 12.
Mac Brown told SaladHokie that making a "Lovin' On" thread would get laughs.
Mack Brown thinks that Khalil pronounces his last name Hey-bear.
*Ay-Bear
After living in Cajun country for 5 years I thought that's how it was said!
real footage of Mack Brown dealing with those hooligans in his neighborhood:
Mack Brown doesn't need a whistle to control practice, he just breathes through his nose.
Mack Brown has lost his bet to Roy Williams on who is the oldest coach at UNC 5 times, and counting.
Mack Brown thinks Van Halen is overrated.
Mack Brown is proud of how UNC got ahead of COVID by having their athletes "learn remotely" instead of going to classes for the last two decades.
Mack thinks five bucks in plenty to give the kid that cuts his lawn.
And when the kid complains, Mack says "Ooh don't poo-poo 5 dollars! 5 dollars will buy you a steak and kidney pie, a cup of coffee, a slice of cheesecake and a newsreel. With enough change left over to ride the trolley from Battery Park to the polo grounds!"
Mack Brown is the product of a 1951 Army Top Secret genetic experiment where the sperm of a young Jimmy Swaggert was used to fertilize the egg of a Toad.
.
Mac Brown believes Michael Jordan played wide receiver for him. and that is why MJ's outline is on al the gear at unc.
Mac Brown has lurked TKP for years and still hasn't joined The Key Players Club.
Mac Brown didn't give Herbert a helmet sticker on CFB Final for his performance against Duke.
Mack Brown has Alexa play Mark Morrison every evening when he steps in the door home from work
Mack Brown thinks Mark Morrison is related to Alanis Morrisette.
The guy from The Doors?
/s
Mac Brown thinks cheese and eggs should not be on a biscuit. He only eats his with chocolate gravy.
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Mack Brown tells high schoolers that they need to do speed work to keep up with ol' "Mach Brown."
Mack Brown uses a bidet for a water fountain.
I think you have that backwards.