There is currently a rumor being tossed around in Austin that the University of Texas may be interested in speaking with Hogwarts Headmaster Albus Dumbledore about their possible head coach opening.
According to a close source, "The Board at UT is fascinated by the idea of having a wizard steer the Longhorn ship to a title..if there is a non-wizard institution that would have the resources to lure Dumbledore away from Hogwarts, it would definitely be Texas."
So far, efforts to contact Dumbledore for his comments have proved fruitless, as Hogwarts can't be found on a map and is invisible to non-magical humans, otherwise known as muggles.
The source added, "UT is hoping that once the Mack Brown situation is resolved, Dumbledore will voluntarily contact the Longhorns on his own." Of course this would be dependent on whether or not Dumbledore feels this opportunity is lucrative enough to break the Wizard Statute of Secrecy, which has been in place for thousands of years.
Stay tuned as this develops.
Comments
Wouldn't Rolanda Hooch be a better choice as a coach? I mean I don't think Dumbledore coached a sport in his life or anytime recently.
Does this mean Viktor Krum is going to be the new QB?
They'd better talk to him quickly... I read in the Daily Prophet he's interviewing with the Chudley Cannons next week.
Shoot! I had my money on Gandalf the White
No, rumor has it he wasn't in compliance with the Equal Opportunity policy. He refused to pass any Bal-rocs.
Grey area.
I sure wouldn't want him for a teacher...
As long as they don't hire Gilderoy Lockhart as Defense Against the Dark Arts Coordinator, they should be fine.
Just Jimmy Sexton embarrassing the longhorns by shaking down Hogwarts for more money for his client, Dumbledore. After embarrassing University of Texas leadership and HC Mack Brown with the Saban escapades, rumor is Sexton wanted regents to have Brown "honey hog tied" around a local campus tree. Upon hearing the news that Mack Brown has been sighted nude with bees swarming, Sexton asks if there is "no limit to the amount of humiliation these idiot longhorns will put their school through?" "I mean Dumbledore hasn't had a good year in a few centuries."
In related news Dumbledore has been offered a $100M no cut contract despite the pleadings of Draco Malfoy and his father.
Hook em Horns!
Personally I can't see Dumbledore making this 'lateral' move to the Muggle sports realm, I think McGonnagal should be the candidate to step in. Let's face it, she's stuck as deputy at Hogwarts, this move to become head coach at Texas, especially at her age, should be her number 1 choice.
Unfortunately I believe Dumbledore passed away in 2005.
Actually, he collapsed on the field in 1997. You may be thinking of the ESPN "30 for 30" special highlighting his career. Or the series of biopics produced by Warner Bros. in the 2000s.
Plot twist: Mack Brown is horcrux
Y'all know wayy too much about this series.
Or you don't know enough, they're a great set of books.
I don't like Harry Potter. And I am of that generation who "grew up" with the books. Read the first one, wasn't impressed. Never understood the huge obsession with it really... Its not like it's a really unique story or anything.
Thank you!
Every generation has their stories, the good ones are usually rehashes of the same ones that have captured the imagination of previous generations for centuries.
I agree- I just don't enjoy the story of my generation, that's all. I have other tastes
I was a big fan of both the Redwall series and the Chronicles of Narnia when I was younger.
Discworld is where it's at.
EULALIAAAAAAAAA
I can understand that sentiment. One thing JK Rowling did was write the book to the level of Harry Potter. So in the first book, Harry Potter is 11, so it's written for pre-teens. Each book gets a little bit more adult. In the last book, Harry is 17, so it's pretty much an adult (young adult) novel.
in other news, citing the need for change in their program, UVA is looking to hire Dolores Umbridge as their next head coach
She's so perfect for UVA it's disgusting...
"I think this may be the year we beat the Hokies"
"I must not tell lies, I must not tell lies..."
I just realized we have one nerdy fanbase. I mean that lovingly and including myself since I understood every reference here. So, who's up for a game of MTG?
I got every reference too.
/aaaaand I'm a nerd
I'm down. My counterspell deck will dominate.
Damn blue mana!
Damn blue mana!
I think I'm the only person here over 40. I have no idea what this is about. I actually opening the story thinking this was an obscure coordinator or something. Then I realized what is was and my wife asked me what I was reading. I said "this story about Lord of Rings or something".
Yaaaaah...Star Wars!
I'm a man! I'm 40! Well, I'm 41, actually. I got all the references, but then again I have kids who are into all this stuff too. As for Harry Potter, once I saw how enthusiastic my daughter was over it, I checked it out for myself and enjoyed it immensely. I've read each of the 7 books several times over.
I dig everything Harry Potter, Star Wars, Star Trek, Hobbit, Lord of the Rings, and DC Comics...and I'm over 40.
This is the extent of my sci-fi program knowledge.
This is clear display of the literacy level in the state of Texas. It is clear that many in Texas have at least seen or read the first book or movie. However, they did not make it to Book 6.
Spoiler Alert: Dumbledore dies.
Typical Texas.