Pandora's Lunch Pail (A Continuation of the Mythical Beast D)

It all began with the Exumtaur.
The infamous combination was the first instance of netherworld identities attached to this group of defenders that arguably are some of the most charismatic players we’ve seen take the field in the orange and maroon. I was thinking about various other ways to brand the defense this year, when it hit me: what are the other mythological creatures within Bud Foster’s lunch pail Pandora’s Box? I did some half-assed research on a sketchy website, and with help from www.gods-and-monsters.com (created by a guy named Mike who I’m willing to bet has an affinity for dreamcatchers) I came up with a few new mythological associations.

• Centaur, Antone Exum

“Half-men, half-horse creatures that ran wild and unruly.”
We already know and love this abomination that led the defense in interceptions (5), passes broken up (16), and forced fumbles (2). Hopefully he can get his leg healed up quickly so we can see him galloping out of the tunnel on Saturdays next season. Exumtaur is the leading candidate to be captain of the defense and (hopefully) bucking Paul Johnson in the face. Also, this gif looks a hell of a lot like that video of him that surfaced today

• Charybdis, Jack Tyler

“The whirlpool on one side of the Strait of Messina that swallowed ships that came too close to it.”
Not exactly the most typical monster designation one would expect, but I feel that this is extremely fitting for the team’s leader in tackles (119) and tackles for losses (13). Moving over to mike linebacker to replace Bruuuuuuuce is a huge factor, as he will be the tasked with the difficult assignment of most likely spying TJ Yeldon (who's running style reminds me of familiar #4 :-( ). He will be one of the more important pieces in the #BeatBama game depending on how well he can swallow the Crimson Tide running game.

• Doppelgangers, Ronny & Devin Vandyke

“Apparitions of people that occur in impossible situations.”
The Vandyke brothers are going to be the face of classic Virginia Tech football once they fully adapt to the college game. See a big hit on special teams? Chances are it’s one of these dudes. They play with a high intensity that translates well to Foster’s philosophy.
Also, you’re probably asking yourself “what the hell do they have to do with 'occurring in impossible situations'?” I’ll just go ahead and leave this here.

• Golem, James Gayle

“Magically animated human-shaped creatures typically made of solid stone.”
Randy Travis obviously didn’t know what the hell he was talking about. Gayle is the closest any human being has ever come to being made of stone. As the returning leader in sacks (5), he will be bolstering one of the most underrated defensive lines in the country, this year’s top candidate for “most holding penalties against”, and the best trashtalker on the team.


This will give you a good idea for Gayle's playstyle this year

• Griffin, Kyshoen Jarrett

“A creature with the body of a lion, the tail of a snake, and the head and wings of an eagle.”
The definition of a Griffin basically describes the strongest facets of Jarrett’s game. His lion side on defense, where he’s grown to become the most reliable player (also the proud owner of multiple Madden hit stick moments), and his eagle side on special teams, where he has become the most dangerous threat returning punts. Possibly one of VT’s leading candidates for the NFL draft next year, he may be the most important factor in the Bama game. Why? If you remember correctly, last time we played Alabama Kam Chancellor was in the midst of having flu-like symptoms, and he was burnt deep several times. He and KF17 are the strongest in terms of stopping the run, but he'll need to be a solid step-back DB when faced with the pass & inevitable play-action.

by the way, my code-writing skills really suck at this point, you guys