Hatin' On: Dave Clawson

Dave Clawson anagrams to Slow Advance, which is what the Lunch Pail Defense is going to do to vaunted Demon Deacon passing attack on Saturday.

DISCLAIMER: Forum topics may not have been written or edited by The Key Play staff.

Comments

Dave Clawson likes to pull his long shirt sleeve over his left hand in which he holds a wire hanger hook that he refers to as 'The Claw', and when he's angry with someone he tells them "You don't want The Claw, son".

The Orange and Maroon you see, that's fighting on to victory.

Dave Clawson looks like the actor they'd hire to play Mitt Romney in an oddly niche Made for TV Hallmark Christmas Movie

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

Ain't no laws when you're playing against Claws.

dave clawson takes his fashion advice from that one viral meme of the rock

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

Dave Clawson's name is actually Dave C. Lawson. The C doesn't stand for anything so he blended his middle and last names together.

2 time Longwood grad married to a Hokie.

Back to back traditional religious schools good at football...?

VT Marketing Class of 2009
Current Roanoke-Hokie
Go Hokies!

There's only one answer- we need more Divine Deablo.

Dave Clawson is head coach at an institution that was founded as the Wake Forest Manual Labor Institution, which required its students and staff to do mandatory hard labor on the school plantation.

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

I didn't realize this was a "Foe"rensics article...

straight facts homie

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

... an institution which then moved away from the city that grew around it and took its name.

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

Dave Clawson hands out Smarties on Halloween.

And he only gives out one mini-pack per trick-or-treater.

I'm actually good with this....

Warning- Filter lost.

"Look at this... This is just spectacular.... These people are losing their minds"

STICK IT IN HAS RETURNED!!!

Wait, you are? I think Smarties taste like chalk. Between those and Peanut Butter Kisses, they are my number 1 and 2 of worst Halloween Candy..

via CandyStore.com

I like #10, #9, and #7.

I know they're the same thing - but I like the Pumpkin version of Candy Corn. I would never hand that out at Halloween, but I do indulge in the Brach's Pumpkins as a seasonal treat

Nothing is worse than circus peanuts. I'll take candy corn 10/10 over circus peanuts.

Has anyone ever received Circus Peanuts for Halloween? I just remember them always being available at the drug store up by the cash register, along with the diarrhea gummy bears.

I am. I find them delicious.

And, as was stated below, we can all rally around circus peanuts being the most disgusting things ever invented.

Warning- Filter lost.

"Look at this... This is just spectacular.... These people are losing their minds"

STICK IT IN HAS RETURNED!!!

Of this list, only Tootsie Rolls are any good. Good and Plenty is one of the worst 'candies' ever produced.

Also, Reeses Peanut Butter Cups are overrated. 3/10 would not consume.

Also, Reeses Peanut Butter Cups are overrated. 3/10 would not consume.

Looks like it might not have worked..... it's a version of "I'll see you in hell," which you deserve for that bad food taek.

Tell them who sent you!

As a Horse... On A Treadmill...

You of all equines should know that horses love peanut butter.

RPBCs are the best, that is all.

VT Marketing Class of 2009
Current Roanoke-Hokie
Go Hokies!

The consistency of the peanut butter in RPBC is akin to the chalky unpleasantness of candy corn.

It's these fake versions of things I like that really get my goat.

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@BuryHokie #ThanksFrank

What RPBC you eating? They aren't chalky at all.

VT Marketing Class of 2009
Current Roanoke-Hokie
Go Hokies!

Yep, completely agree. I've never been a fan of the peanut butter and think it is chalky, not creamy.

My hometown has a Hershey's factory that produces Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. If you get them when they are fresh, it is completely different texture from the ones in the store that have likely been made about 6 months prior to hitting the shelf (Halloween candy is typically made in April)

The only things on this list I wouldn't eat if it was sitting in front of me are licorice, Good & Plenty (see: licorice), circus peanuts, and Necco wafers.

If I'm being honest, I'd probably shovel in a Necco wafer or two and maybe even a circus peanut.

Joffrey, Cersei, Ilyn Payne, the Hound, Jeff Jagodzinski, Paul Johnson, Pat Narduzzi.

Even a circus peanut??!? Good GOD, man! Have *some* standards!!

I, ah, MIGHT be .... heavily invested in this topic.

Dave Clawson goes to the grocery store while hungry and grabs ice cream right off the bat. Then he leaves it by the register in the gum package because it's too melted for his liking.

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@BuryHokie #ThanksFrank

Dave Clawson claims to have been the inventor of the Bear Claw pastry.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Chip Kelly doesn't credit the underdog for almost beating him at home with the backup quarterback.

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@BuryHokie #ThanksFrank

Dave Clawson rhymes with Dwayne Lawson.

I have no idea why my username is VT_Warthog.

Arkansas blew a 24-0 lead in the Belk Bowl.

It's actually the same guy.

Hokie, Hokie, Hokie, Hi. Tech, Tech, V.P.I.
Sola-Rex, Sola-Rah. Polytech- Vir-gin-I-a.
Ray, Rah, V.P.I. Team! Team! Team!

My 2019 Season Challenge: only comment with Star Wars memes.

If you see these characters, they represent specific people (as of Oct. 2):

Palpatine (Fuente) || Vader (Hooker) || Kylo Ren (QP4) || Lando (Deablo)

Dave Clawson lives in Winston-Salem and he prefers Dunkin Donuts over Krispy Kreme.

Leonard. Duh.

That's a f*ckin lie and you know it! He loves his Krispy Kreme donuts, I've seen him buying them by the box from the Harris Teeter! Says he prefers them "cold now" like a true American!

Dave Clawson's defense ran basic stunts that fucked our offense to the tune of 3 points in an overtime game in which his trash team beat Frank Beamer

You are one tough nut to crack, Homie.

Leonard. Duh.

Dave Clawson petitioned for the school to use "Woke Forest" as their catchphrase to try to appeal to the youngsters out there.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Me, You, Same Page

Posted this on another thread just this afternoon:

VT Marketing Class of 2009
Current Roanoke-Hokie
Go Hokies!

Nope. I participated last week got my heart broken. No more hatin' on for me.

lies, you didn't hate ENOUGH, c'mon

TKPhi Damn Proud
BSME 2009

Dave Clawson's team plays in a mini-Lane stadium.

Take the shortest route to the ball and arrive in bad humor.

Nice move.

Leonard. Duh.

Clawson speeds in No Wake zones

VT '10, Born & Raised in the 804.
Rockin the Bakken.
β€œRight turn, Clyde.”

and slows down in the passing lane.

Dave Clawson puts the 0-0 game on his resume

And he boasts about how he is the only current coach to double an opponent's score in a multiple overtime game.

Dave Clawson thinks that Willie Taggart did a great job at FSU, but that doesnt it stop him from sending the FSU AD an edible arrangement letting him know that there are still good coaches making under $5 million a year that deserve a pay raise.

Dave Clawson thinks Texas Pete was invented in Texas.

I see you, bro. And I like it.

Leonard. Duh.

Dave Clawson still thinks it's Wake Forrest, and means to drive your boat too close to Forrest Gump.

Dave Clawson brags about the White Claw hype he started last summer

Dave Clawson refuses to be called David, only by Mother, and only when she's angry

Dave Clawson parks his car more than 6" off the curb, on a busy street in downtown W-S, and everyone has to go one lane to get around

TKPhi Damn Proud
BSME 2009

Dave corrects your pronunciation: "It's Kuh-Lawson, dammit"

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Dave spells his name "Claussen" when he's writing to pickle companies trying to get complimentary jars.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Dave had a friend with the same name so to differentiate he called himself white clawson

Hokie Club member since 2017

Dave Clawsons first job was a stamp licker for Publishers Clearinghouse

uva - the taint of the ACC
XL Jockstraps 34 - Ascots 31
#15 Straight

Dave Clawson recruited a national championship team for TimeCop.

Dave Clawson thinks the Salem Witch Trials were in Winston-Salem.

Yes,that's the Hokie Bird riding a camel. Why'd you ask?

East Winston-Salem to be exact.

David Clawson would like to talk to you about his craft beer hobbie.

Dave Clawson borrows your truck and returns it dirty, with no gas, and with shovel gouges in the bed and liner.

He asks to borrow it again the next month and calls you a douchebag when you decline.

Click here to destroy wall.

You can always tell the people who are describing a situation that actually happened to them, lol..

Using /s is for cowards.

Fuck Dave Clawson.

Click here to destroy wall.

Plot twist: It was a family member?!

Nah, our dad showed us that you take care of borrowed equipment.

Click here to destroy wall.

Son in law?

Luckily I don't have one of those yet. This was actually a work truck that another office borrowed. Thought the guy was a friend as well as a coworker and helped him in a tight spot. The repairs came out of our budget.

No less annoying as a service manager responsible for the office motorpool.

Click here to destroy wall.

Well, at least it wasn't a personal truck.

Dave Clawson wears onesie pajamas to sleep.

What a monster. I take mine off before bed.

SON!!!

Let's Go

HOKIES

Dave Clawson has been trying to reach you about your vehicle's extended warranty...

Click here to destroy wall.

Dave Clawson has a secret play named "the reach around"

uva - the taint of the ACC
XL Jockstraps 34 - Ascots 31
#15 Straight

Dave Clawson once worked at a dairy farm; he was the "head milker"

uva - the taint of the ACC
XL Jockstraps 34 - Ascots 31
#15 Straight

Warning- Filter lost.

"Look at this... This is just spectacular.... These people are losing their minds"

STICK IT IN HAS RETURNED!!!

He always said he preferred the milk from the bulls

Whatever. It was one bad year.

Seasonal Brew means High ABV for football season and standard the rest of the year.

Dave Clawson orders his steak well done, douses it in A1, all while saying "he likes his animals dead", like everyone else who orders an actual non-overcooked steak are the ones with the problem

Dave Clawson cuts you off in traffic and flips you the bird for being in his way.

Dave Clawson coaches at a school founded by Baptists that somehow has the mascot of a "demon deacon"

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Dave Clawson orders hamburger helper at 5 star restaurants

uva - the taint of the ACC
XL Jockstraps 34 - Ascots 31
#15 Straight

Dave Clawson prefers the toilet paper under

1-0 every week

Dave Clawson is pushing for the year-end game against Duke to be called "The Great Schism."

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

Dave Clawson thinks he is a real P5 head coach πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

uva - the taint of the ACC
XL Jockstraps 34 - Ascots 31
#15 Straight

TBF, he will be when he's coaching FSU next year.

Dave Clawson double dips his chips at the company Holiday Party while standing around in his "Ugly Christmas Sweater" and always responds "This old thing?" whenever someone asks him about it.

The Dude Abides

Dave Clawson understands how four way stops work but says "F you, I'm going anyway."

Dave Clawson and his family are really happy to be in this picture

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Dave Clawson tells people at a party he smells like he does because his clothes absorb the odor from the locker room as a conversation starter.

Sometimes we live no particular way but our own

Dave Clawson prefers to be reverse teabagged

uva - the taint of the ACC
XL Jockstraps 34 - Ascots 31
#15 Straight

Dave Clawson snarls his nose and says he wants to gag when someone in the car suggests they stop at Burger King for lunch. When asked his preference he always says Panera Bread like a little snob that thinks he is better than everyone else.

If there is no enemy within the enemy outside can do us no harm.

Crap. I married Dave Clawson.

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@BuryHokie #ThanksFrank

Mike London won an FCS national championship with Dave Clawson's players and parlayed that success into the UVA head coaching job. That same year, Clawson failed miserably as OC at Tennessee, which resulted in them firing Phil Fulmer and the program becoming a dumpster fire over the last decade.

So... those two things are actually pretty cool.

Joffrey, Cersei, Ilyn Payne, the Hound, Jeff Jagodzinski, Paul Johnson, Pat Narduzzi.

Dave Clawson backs the NCAA's decision on Nolley, saying "better safe that sorry".

Dave Clawson thinks he should get into the CFB HoF before Bud Foster, because, after all, he's a HC and Bud is not and that's the most important qualification.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Dave Clawson thinks David Blackwell would make a great P5 DC.

Live look in on Dave Clawson in the WF locker room after practice (the Claw):

via GIPHY

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ #YNWA

When he makes poor in-game decision, Clawson yells 'IM IN A PICKLE' and chuckles to himself.

'Its easy to grin, when your ship comes in, and you've got the stock market beat,
but the man worthwhile, is the man who can smile, when his shorts are too tight in the seat'

Dave Clawson was fired from the family business and forced to change the spelling of his name when he pulled a Jerry and spent millions on the following marketing campaign:

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Dave Clawson remains mystified as to how his nephew Jimmy fell all the way to the second round.

He's attended Panthers games with the sole intent of booing Cam Newton for years.

Dave Clawson is sad that this is the last time he'll see Buds D

uva - the taint of the ACC
XL Jockstraps 34 - Ascots 31
#15 Straight

Dave Clawson is just an alias. His real name is Baron Von Raschke Junior.

If there is no enemy within the enemy outside can do us no harm.

Dave Clawson thinks making less than 50K a year is pathetic.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

I have to upvote you since I made the poorly worded comment.

Kaleb Smith turned down a full ride from Dave Clawson to walk-on at VT and play for Brad Cornelsen.

Joffrey, Cersei, Ilyn Payne, the Hound, Jeff Jagodzinski, Paul Johnson, Pat Narduzzi.

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..