Hatin' On: William Brown

William Brown is ashamed of his first name

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Mac Brown has the biggest delta between win-loss performance and recruiting rankings out of any active coach in the country. Does less with more.

And that's what I like the best about him.

The truth can be the best kind of hate!!

"Don't go to, go through"

William Mac Brown coaches the wrong team, and this I do NOT forgive.

William Brown thinks Mac the Knife should be the entrance music for UNC.

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@BuryHokie #ThanksFrank

I figured he was lobbying for "Return of the Mack".

William Brown parks his piece shit in front of your house and leaves it there, despite there being plenty of room to park in front of his house and and having an empty curricular driveway.

Sometimes we live no particular way but our own

having an empty curricular driveway.

Wondering if this was a typo for 'circular' but the original could apply to UNCheat ... empty of curricular since they don't seem to really have to go to class....

From the 2018 VT-uva game-"This is when LEGENDS are made!"

Edited: Thanks GGC

William Mack Brown always over promises and under delivers.

William Mack Brown coached Texas from 1998 to 2013 and (with the largest (by far) athletic department budget in the country and with the wealth of Texas HS football talent to pull from) only won one BCS championship.

To be the man you gotta beat the man!

Mack Brown

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

William Brown boycotted the President's Cup after the first two days because the US team had a big lead, saying if he's going to watch team golf it will be the LIV tour. Never mind that several of the "teams" at the Presidents Cup were over 7 under par for Friday, he prefers seeing has-beens shot 3 rounds in the mid 70's and be on the winning team.

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@BuryHokie #ThanksFrank

TKPhi Damn Proud
BSME 2009

Why would a coed wear his depends?

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@BuryHokie #ThanksFrank

Mac Brown can't tie his shoes

Onward and upward

Mack Brown wears Velcro shoes

Mack Brown can't tie his velcro shoes

Onward and upward

Mac Brown sometimes wears velcro wallets on his feet.

Nobody wants to tell him.

Can't tie those either. What a loser!

Onward and upward

Macs got that side shoe knot going where you're old and fat and you can't bend down as far and your stomach is in the way.

He should just have Sally tie those Jordan's up for him, but pride and whatnot

Mack Brown thinks his defense is just what our offense needs right now.

William Brown thinks the Virginia Tech offensive line is intimidating to his defense.

Mack Brown doesn't understand the implications of what a potential hurricane does to UNC's ability to play good football.

VT Marketing Class of 2009
Current Roanoke-Hokie
Go Hokies!

Mack Brown thinks he dances better than Beamer. He is sorely mistaken.

Mac Brown anagrams to Large Turd.

Now finish up them taters; I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.

Mac Brown thinks calculator watches are cool, and in style.

He says his name is William
I'm sure he's Bill or Billy or Mac or Buddy
And he's plain ugly to me

2 time Longwood grad married to a Hokie.

William Brown thinks this is a fantastic haiku

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

According to Wikipedia, Willie B was actually a western lowland gorilla who lived at the Zoo of Atlanta for 39 years.

I just sit on my couch and b*tch. - HokieChemE2016

Now where else but TKP would we have learned this interesting fact?

To be the man you gotta beat the man!

William "Mac" Brown thinks the McDonalds Big Mac is better than anything on the menu at Red Robin.

Recovering scientist working in business consulting

It is when you're drunk at 2 am

Never Forget #1 Overall Seed UVA 54, #64 UMBC 74

Are you speaking from experience or from an ingrained habit?

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

To be the man you gotta beat the man!

William Brown likes Arby's.

Outspoken team cake advocate. Hates terrapins. Resident Macho Man Gif Poster. Distant cousin to Dork Magic. Frequently misspells words.

That's not fair to RVA Arbys

Never Forget #1 Overall Seed UVA 54, #64 UMBC 74

Short Pump Arby's, best Arby's..... I miss living out there.

VT Marketing Class of 2009
Current Roanoke-Hokie
Go Hokies!

Nah, Colonial Heights by Ft Lee is best.

TKPhi Damn Proud
BSME 2009

Is that the one with the shrubs sculptured to look like animals, with the fire place and real wooden canoe decorations inside? If so, I agree.....

Sometimes we live no particular way but our own

Same company owns most of the Richmond area Arbys- also used to own O'Briensteins in Regency Square in the old days. I used to work there during college breaks back in 1990 timeframe-Irish-Jewish restaurant (I know weird combo) that had 52 flavors of daiquiris and also sold tons of bagels.

From the 2018 VT-uva game-"This is when LEGENDS are made!"

This is the exact kind of comment that is always going to make me bust out laughing envisioning KingJames opening up excel to update a spreadsheet of TKP user factoids 🀣

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

He probably has now figured out that skippypbm is 5'-9".

William Brown thinks information on the height of people of who know about the history of Irish Bagel bars should not be discussed on a football message board.

Sometimes we live no particular way but our own

If so, he's correct although as I've aged I'm closer to 5'-8" now lol.

From the 2018 VT-uva game-"This is when LEGENDS are made!"

*dzilla furiously opens his own spreadsheet*

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

LOL

Forget KingJames' spreadsheet - I want to know whether that place is still there, and why it isn't on the "TKP sources local eats" page.

Whose to say the local eats recommendations aren't on my spreadsheet?

*Who's

Hey, I won't claim to be a grammatical expert.

Grammarly correct - they way you're mommas mama used to say it. You can say its wrong if you wanna be wrong.

Sometimes we live no particular way but our own

this legit hurt my brain to read

Onward and upward

I'm not arguing with anybody's mama's mama.

Sadly it closed in the early 1990s(shortly after I stopped working there and went elsewhere...hmmmm...sorry 'bout that chief'). It had opened in the mid 70's as part of Regency Square which at the time was the best and biggest mall in Richmond. I HEARD that the owners got VERY favorable lease terms locked in for 15-20 years. Then when that expired they just didn't keep it going for long).

It was a fun place and fun place to work. I did everything from utility dishwasher(biggest fricking dish machine I'd ever seen-held 10+racks at once on a conveyor), making and baking bagels(huge 5 rack oven in center of restaurant)(and in holiday season made 1500-2000 lbs of bagels per day), server (Black Friday we would open the doors at 11 am and have 50-75 folks waiting in line- and would serve 700 people for lunch and 700 for dinner), and asst mgr. Bar had 8-10 blenders (constantly running) making 52 different flavors of daiquiris both alcoholic and non-alcoholic.

Ah high school and college memories......

From the 2018 VT-uva game-"This is when LEGENDS are made!"

That would be the Ripps!

Even when you get skunked; fishing never lets you down. 🎣

Yep-I remember both father and son from when I worked there at O'Briensteins.

From the 2018 VT-uva game-"This is when LEGENDS are made!"

William Brown lobbies the ACC Head Office to extend the current TV deal to 2060 to "bring stability to the conference."

Have you entered your PICK 6 on CBSSports yet? Click Here!

Mac Brown turns a surefire 1st round QB into a 3rd rounder

EDIT: Mac Brown makes me not follow the NFL draft.

3rd rounder if they're lucky!! Sam Howell went in the fifth lol

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

2022 Season Challenge: Wrasslin'
Previous Challenges: Star Wars (2019), Marvel (2020), Batman (2021)

William Brown thinks VT's Nike deal "seems about right".

William Brown's mixed beverage of choice is 1 bottle of Miralax mixed with a 64oz Gatorade.

2 time Longwood grad married to a Hokie.

Harry says it works for him!

To be the man you gotta beat the man!

Mac Brown doesn't know Virginia Tech is undefeated playing in hurricanes!

"Take care of the little things and the big things will come."

William Brown thinks Gene Chizik is a good defensive coordinator.

William Brown's coaching talent rests in the ability to take a top 100 recruit like Sam Howell and then mold and develop him into a 5th round draft pick

William Brown uses his arts and crafts time to paste footballs over the jumpman logo's basketball on all of the posters in his powder blue nursery. Staff members rotate the supervisory responsibility to make sure he doesn't eat some of the paste.

scissors are also expressly off limits for william brown

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

He uses the Elmer's paste with the spreader lid instead of glue sticks and the rounded tip blunt scissors that don't cut anything.

2 time Longwood grad married to a Hokie.

William Brown takes the one pair of lefty scissors even though he's a righty.

Have you entered your PICK 6 on CBSSports yet? Click Here!

William Brown eats the paste...
Also paint chips

uva - the taint of the ACC

Of course he eats the paste. He thinks the spreader is a spoon.

Lead paint chips

2 time Longwood grad married to a Hokie.

In his defense, it saves the children.

William Brown thinks that Ian is a 12th defender for the Hokies and is protesting the ACC office before the game starts.

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@BuryHokie #ThanksFrank

William Brown will get hired to call a Friday night game for ESPN, but leave in the fourth quarter to catch a flight.

William Brown pisses in the Old Well all the UNC kids drink out of

TKPhi Damn Proud
BSME 2009

You don't?!

Have you entered your PICK 6 on CBSSports yet? Click Here!

If you remember any of it, you might have done college wrong

TKPhi Damn Proud
BSME 2009

That's actually one of the things we like about him.

William Brown thinks going to bed with an itchy butt-crack is the best strategy

uva - the taint of the ACC

William Brown scribbles on children's artwork at the State Fair.

Have you entered your PICK 6 on CBSSports yet? Click Here!

William Brown is one of two coaches left in the ACC Coastal from 2021. If he does not start to show some ROI pretty soon, (fuck) Pat Narduzzi will be all alone

Now finish up them taters; I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.

Excuse me, but I believe you mean (fuck) Chris Bickell '97 Head Football Coach Pat Narduzzi

William Brown is about to lose to the worst VT team in 30 years.

Twitter me

Mac Brown likes tailgating in parking decks

Updog for life!

Mac William Brown tailgates other cars at night in his truck which has a pronounced "Carolina Squat", blinding everyone.

William Brown can't read what's on the menu, so he asks you to pick him a winner, then gets mad when you pick something he doesn't like.

Go Hokies!

William Brown thinks Limas Sweed was the most talented person on that Longhorns national championship team

uva - the taint of the ACC

William Brown can't pronounce Motuapuaka to save his life.

I am sure he can't spell it either

2 time Longwood grad married to a Hokie.

I'll admit I had to look it up myself (at first I had an "O" where the second "U" should be).

William Brown goes by "Mack" because 'William' has too many syllables and he can't pronounce it.

2 time Longwood grad married to a Hokie.

William Brown's cameo on Friday Night Lights was not in the same league as Mike Leach's top notch work.

William Brown would look worse with a Beard.

21st century QBs Undefeated vs UVA:
MV7, MV5, LT3, Braxton Burmeister, Ryan Willis, Josh Jackson, Jerod Evans, Michael Brewer, Tyrod Taylor, Sean Glennon, and Grant Noel. That's right, UVA. You couldn't beat Grant Noel.

oh man, what a burn

Woah woah woah. That man has a family.

I am not sure what to do with my hands now

Wait - some woman would let that guy get close enough to procreate?

Ut Prosim Ad Dei Gloriam

Things were different in the 1920's.

Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.

Mack Brown turns his cell phone off when not using it to save battery in case of an emergency.

William Brown lost his charger. Again.

William Brown thinks he left his charger in your car. It looks remarkably like yours!

William Brown rides his golf cart around other neighborhoods looking for architectural violations to report to the HOAs.

William Brown created the vampire Lestat.

And then abandoned him as a latch key vampire.

Brian Kelly killed a kid.

Brian Kelly is William Brown's hero.

William Brown has a different set of dentures for each day of the week.

William Brown could use some breath spray.

William Brown had a bag man buy Faust's soul.

Faust plays for UNC, but he thinks his NIL deal was a rip-off.

William Brown counters that selling your soul is a base-level requirement to play at UNC.

William Brown thinks some unc students wrote and sang 'Return of the Mack' just for him coming back to coach the tar holes even though that song came out during his first stint with unc.

uva - the taint of the ACC

"Hit the Road, Jack" was originally called "Hit the Road, Mack, and was about William Brown.

William Brown sees you sitting on a park bench, clearly having a rough day. He comes and sits down besides you and pulls a werther's original out of his pocket. He turns to you and proceeds to eat it without breaking eye contact. Then he gets up and leaves, but not before letting loose with a god awful fart.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

William Brown has a five year plan.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..