Welcome back, everyone!
Week 1 Recap:
Everybody who signed up also submitted picks on CBSSports! (It's a Labor Day Miracle)
Nobody's perfect.
Nobody got skunked (so keep your clothes on).
Have a cookie, though!
Since y'all are gluttons for punishment, we're going on to Week 2!
The safeword phrase is: "I want Justin Fuente back."
Tracking?
Good.
Quick caveat - hardly any P5 v P5 games this week are worth a Fuck Pat Narduzzi, that's why the crying cavs are here.
WEEK 2 GAMES
USCocks at 16 Arkansas (WhoopsPigs -8.5)
24 Tennessee at 17 Shitt (TENN -6.5)
LOLuva at Illinois (Ill -4.5)
Iowa State at Iowa (Iowa -3.5)
BC at VIRGINIA TECH HOKIES (VT -2.5)
10 USCondoms at Stanford (Troj -9.5)
I'll get a blurb for each game in later.
Make picks here and post in the comments, too!
Comments
Arkansas -8.5
Pitt +6.5
uva +4.5
Iowa -3.5
VT -2.5
USC -9.5
No idea on beer this weekend. Tons going on, so probably more on the quantity side rather than quality/craft side.
I got SCAR +8.5 not sure if they win out right but I think Shane keeps it close.
UT at -6.5....I think UT is trending up a bit due to HH (sigh) and Pitt isn't that great.
LOLuva +4.5 b/c I want them to lose in amazing fashion but for some reason they wont.
Iowa State +3.5 b/c Iowa has zero offense apparently. No idea how ISU is though.
Hokies -2.5 b/c I'm ready to be hurt again.
And finally USC -9.5. Tiebreaker is at 56.
USCocks - for Shane
Tennessee - for Hooker and fuck Pat Narduzzi
Illinois - because fuck uva
Iowa State - because Iowa looks too much like the Steelers
VT - duh
USCondoms - to complete the set
What, no Alabama at Texas to celebrate Alabama's first true road non conference game since 2011?
AS YOUR KING MY ANSWERS ARE OBVIOUSLY CORRECT 👑🤴🏻 (*picks subject to change prior to game time*)
SCAR +8.5 : Shane will have his guys ready
UT at -6.5. : UT is way better than WVU and HH is used to playing pitt; now that corny isn't restricting him from launching deep balls on their shit dbs he will light it up
UVA +4.5 : they beat Illinois last year And media is down on acc for obvious reasons so I think the line was acc sympathy
Iowa State +3.5 : Iowa blows and iowa state can actually score
Hokies -2.5 : I don't think we perform as poorly two weeks in a row when most of the mistakes causing point swings were coachable
USC -9.5 : Ehhhh I wanna pick Stanford because the points are so high but I just can't USC has a shiny new coach
Cocks
Vols
Hoos
Cyclones
Hokies
Condoms
I am picking against my better judgement and going full emotional picks this week except for the condoms they pull through ;)
Shane
Hooker
Fuck UVA
For the children
Hokies
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Condoms (plus stanfords mascot sucks)
USCocks at Arkansas (WhoopsPigs -8.5)
Tennessee at Shitt (TENN -6.5)
LOLuva at Illinois (Ill -4.5)
Iowa State at Iowa (Iowa -3.5)
BC at HOKIES (VT -2.5)
USCondoms at Stanford (Troj -9.5)
USCocks at 16 Arkansas (WhoopsPigs -8.5) Sorry Shane
24 Tennessee at 17 Shitt (TENN -6.5) Pitt sucks and barely scraped by, Hendon has a field day
LOLuva at Illinois (Ill -4.5) I couldn't think of which team sucked more but Armstrong likely wins this on his own
Iowa State at Iowa (Iowa -3.5) Iowa what the fuck was that last week
BC at VIRGINIA TECH HOKIES (VT -2.5) we suck
10 USCondoms at Stanford (Troj -9.5) although I would not be shocked if the trees win this one
I got 1 game right last week. Sadly, I haven't hit rock bottom yet.
USCocks at 16 Arkansas (Ark -8.5) - I underestimated Arkansas last week and I think Shane needs one more year to get things really cookin'
24 Tennessee at 17 Pitt (Tenn -6.5) - I don't think Pitt is that good. I believe in Hendon Hooker. I think Tennessee will, annoyingly, destroy Pitt
LOLuva at Illinois (Ill -4.5) - B1G basement dweller >>> ACC basement dweller
Iowa State at Iowa (Iowa -3.5) - *shrug emoji*
BC at VT (VT -2.5) - I screwed up last week by going against my rule of always picking against the Hokies. So, my bad. I won't do it again.
10 USC at Stanford (USC -9.5) - I don't really like Lincoln Riley the person, but I wish we could get someone like him, the coach. I believe he's going to have USC cruising in no time.
I've never been happier to be 5-1 on the week
Quickly bc I have a meeting soon-
ShaneCocks- I don't think it'll be outright, but closer than the spread. This ought to be one to watch
Volunteers- Hooker is good (fk you Fuente)
Illini- I will NOT pick LOLuva, even if it means dropping this one
Cyclones- all they gotta do is score maybe twice it seems.
HOKIES- Not by much. -3.5 I'd have gone BC
Trojans- I don't think -9.5 is enough to pick Stanford.
BeerBOURBON ALL WEEKEND5-1 on the week... C'mon ShaneCocks! I had faith that you wouldn't screw me twice!
Went 4/6 in the pick six had far too many beers to remember who I liked at the sports book and went 3/10 on the weekend...if they didn't have a kiosk the person at the window would have sent me home for being unable to articulate my picks. New week new me, last weeks MVP my liver.
Pigs
Fighting (hendon) Hookers
Illinois fighting reflective beans
Iowa
For the love of God please
Trojans
5-1 and tie breaker points on the button. I'm going pro.
USCe at 16Arkansas (-8.5) - SC isn't quite ready for this challenge. Jefferson runs wild.
24Tennessee (-6.5) at 17 Pitt - Pitt covers but still takes the Loss. F Narduzzi!!!
LOLuva at Illinois (-4.5) - Illini are better and are at home.
Iowa State at Iowa (-3.5) - Going with the home team.
BC at VIRGINIA TECH HOKIES (-2.5) - I felt more delusional about VT as the week went on. I'm full ODU never happened at this point.
(10)USCw at Stanford - I just have a feeling that Stanford keeps it close.
Shane
Hendon
Not LOLuva
Iowa - home team, I guess
Go Hokies
Stanford - home team again
Taking the hogs
The stupid checkerboard endzone
Anybody but uva
The corn-eyes
Until proven different, taking the eagles
Finally the condoms
Arkansas -8.5
Tennessee -6.5
Illinois -4.5
Iowa -3.5
Hokies -2.5
Southern California -9.5
USCe
Vols
Ill-anoy
Cyclones I hope nobody tells my Hawkeye bride
Hokies?
USCw
Need to comeback from last week's 2-win showing and like every week, I'm overly confident in my own genius
SCar - Rattler and Beamer keep it close but still lose
Pitt - Hooker & Co win but no defense gets played so the game stays close
ILL - I will always take the side against UVA and also go with my future state of residence
ISU - Hawkeyes win by a field goal but no more
Hokies - I will always bet the Hokies because I am loyal to a fault
USC - I bet USC -11.5 before the line went down then I bet it again at -9.5 they're gonna blow the doors off Stanford
Arkansas
Pitt
Illinois
Iowa st
HOKIES
Usc
Beamer 2.0
Vols
Hoos
Cyclones
Hokies
USC 1.0
This doesn't deserve a thread, but since it's week 2 related I'll drop here...
I know texas is going to get spanked on saturday, but this hype video with Matthew McConaughey is pretty sick
The Herd? Isn't that Marshall? The Thundering Herd.
Maybe he is a secret Marshall fan
I completely forgot to play at CBS. 😫 These are my counting-for-nothing picks anyway:
Sakerlina
Pitt
Illinois
Iowa
Hokies
USC
Everybody will have at least 1 week like that (I'm certainly no exception).
Per season?
I think I had 1 per month last year and I make the damn thing
I feel a little better now...
Seems poetic . . .
God Dammit Tennessee.
Forgot to enter my picks after all that shit taking; I am no longer your king 😩