Fran Brown is that weird Aunt who shows up for Thanksgiving and makes a beet dish with a recipe calling for heavy doses of cooking sherry and then comes to the table drunk and the beets don't even taste of alcohol.
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Fran Brown shows up 6th in Google searches from "Fran " after Drescher, Lebowitz, Tarkenton, Kranz, and Bow* so not even the Internet is interested in him.
* - Today I learned that Fran Bow is an uber-creepy mobile game about a girl who finds her dismembered parents. Even that gets more interest than Fran Brown.
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Fran Brown already has their Christmas decorations up before Halloween and is annoyed that the radio stations have not switched to Christmas carols only format yet.
And he believes it is fine to play All I Want For Christmas is You in a continuous loop with his home light display since he knows EVERBODY wants to hear that song 10,000 times from November through December.
Oh, and unlike the real people named Brown, he has no idea what Christmas really means.
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Fran Brown thinks fresh fruit has too much sugar to be healthy for their kids to eat, and tells you this pointedly while your children are currently eating fruit.
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Fran Brown's given name actually is Francis, but he chose Fran because he picked "Fran Brown" over Frank Brown and Francis Brown and Frankie Brown for his intended career as a writer specializing in poor romance novels for postmenopausal women
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Fran Brown goes into cities and every time he meets someone he asks if they want to "go downtown, to Brown town" over and over again until they make eye contact with him and then laughs at his own joke when they finally do.
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"What can Fran Brown do for you?" Fran Brown asks, referring to himself in the third person. "Actually, on my breaks, I have been working on some poorly written romance novels I hope to market and sell to postmenopausal women"
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Fran Brown doesn't believe in waste therefore he uses handkerchiefs for toilet paper so he can wash/re-use without negatively affecting the environment
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Fran Brown thinks it's not ironic at all that the Carrier Dome, named after an air conditioning company, wasn't actually air conditioned until it was renovated about 8 years ago.
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Fran Brown thinks Joe should change his algorithm for plaid determination of post to make it more achievable because he really does like all plaid everything. #APE
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Fran Brown's first name is one letter away from Frank. So, when he's about to be frank, he says "To be Fran" instead, before chuckling at his own razor wit until he is ready to actually be Fran(k).
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Comments
Fran Brown is already making sides for Thanksgiving Dinner so he'll be ready come November 28.
I didn't realize Fran Brown was my great aunt.
If Fran Brown was an aunt, he wouldn't be great.
Fran Brown willingly coaches at Syracuse.
Fran Brown is always at odds with his colleagues because he won't lighten up.
Always a leg for a good Stripes reference!
you can't convince me that Fran Brown isn't the name of someone who writes poor romance novels for post-menopausal women
Fran Brown is that weird Aunt who shows up for Thanksgiving and makes a beet dish with a recipe calling for heavy doses of cooking sherry and then comes to the table drunk and the beets don't even taste of alcohol.
Fran Brown shows up 6th in Google searches from "Fran " after Drescher, Lebowitz, Tarkenton, Kranz, and Bow* so not even the Internet is interested in him.
* - Today I learned that Fran Bow is an uber-creepy mobile game about a girl who finds her dismembered parents. Even that gets more interest than Fran Brown.
Fran Brown only tries to scare little kids on Halloween.
Fran Brown expects everyone to make a big deal about his birthday but doesn't do anything for anyone else's.
Fran Brown already has their Christmas decorations up before Halloween and is annoyed that the radio stations have not switched to Christmas carols only format yet.
And he believes it is fine to play All I Want For Christmas is You in a continuous loop with his home light display since he knows EVERBODY wants to hear that song 10,000 times from November through December.
Oh, and unlike the real people named Brown, he has no idea what Christmas really means.
Fran Brown prefers his Peanuts Specials on AppleTV without vintage local business commercials that star their family and employees.
Fran Brown's absolute idol is Frau Farbissina
Fran Brown <==> Bran Frown.
Fran Brown has an obvious and obnoxious laugh
Fran Brown does NOT like citrus fruits!
Fran Brown thinks fresh fruit has too much sugar to be healthy for their kids to eat, and tells you this pointedly while your children are currently eating fruit.
Fran Brown is contributing to a recent increase in attention on scurvy.
No shit, this is a real thing. Eat better food, people.
Does drinking a mojito or a gin and tonic with lime count?
If so, my wife and I are fine.
Fran Brown has never heard of fiber or the glycemic index.
he should have, the target market demographic of his poorly-written romance novels is all about the fiber intake
This is outstanding.
Fran Brown side swipes your car in the parking lot and then leaves, hoping no one saw him
This is his best friend...
... and role model.
Fran Brown wishes his name was actually Francis so he could pretend to be tougher.
Fran Brown's given name actually is Francis, but he chose Fran because he picked "Fran Brown" over Frank Brown and Francis Brown and Frankie Brown for his intended career as a writer specializing in poor romance novels for postmenopausal women
Are you saying Fran's favorite SNL character is Pat?
I'm dying! Keep leaning into this 😂😂
Fran Brown is proud to say that he has never lightened up. Not once.
Fran Brown is the long lost Golden Girl
Fran Brown goes into cities and every time he meets someone he asks if they want to "go downtown, to Brown town" over and over again until they make eye contact with him and then laughs at his own joke when they finally do.
Fran Brown is really excited for the debut of "Fifty Shades of Brown", his first poorly written romance novel for postmenopausal women
I'm beginning to think that you're really into romance novels for postmenopausal women.
Fran Brown is into poorly written romance novels for postmenopausal women
Fran Brown has been thinking about "the change" a little too often these days.
Fran Brown's dream job is driving for UPS.
"What can Fran Brown do for you?" Fran Brown asks, referring to himself in the third person. "Actually, on my breaks, I have been working on some poorly written romance novels I hope to market and sell to postmenopausal women"
Fran Brown stole Pee Wee's bike
Fran Brown requested the CW network for all their games.
"Fran Brown" is what he yells every time he takes a dump...
In his defense, his psychiatrist is still working on trying to get him to leave one instead of take one.
Fran Brown puts his used toilet paper in the kitchen trash
Fran Brown doesn't believe in waste therefore he uses handkerchiefs for toilet paper so he can wash/re-use without negatively affecting the environment
Fran Brown gets annoyed when people call it The Carrier Dome instead of The JMA Wireless Dome.
Fran Brown thinks it's not ironic at all that the Carrier Dome, named after an air conditioning company, wasn't actually air conditioned until it was renovated about 8 years ago.
Fran Brown thinks all-orange uniforms look great.
*ducks*
Fran Brown invented the piano key necktie
Fran Brown sometimes adds a "k" to his first name because he also wants to be a legend.
Who is Kran Brown?
Fkran Brown?
That's his snack.
It's Kfran- the K is silent as in knife.
You laugh, but one of my former coworkers is named Kjeff. Pronounced Jeff. Everybody calls him K-Jeff.
.............you dont call him Kevin?
Fran Brown loves "exclusively on Peacock"
The mini series adaptation of Fran Brown's poorly written romance novels is streaming exclusively on Peacock.
Fran backwards is
Well done
Fran Brown drinks from his bidet like it's a water fountain
Fran Brown thinks it is funny there are water fountains in bathrooms.
Fran Brown is a Yankees fan.
Fran Brown needs to "lighten up, Fran-cis"
Fran Brown thinks Joe should change his algorithm for plaid determination of post to make it more achievable because he really does like all plaid everything. #APE
Fran Brown thinks Hallmark Christmas movies have more than 1 plot and should be shown all year.
Fran Brown's first name is one letter away from Frank. So, when he's about to be frank, he says "To be Fran" instead, before chuckling at his own razor wit until he is ready to actually be Fran(k).
This is so close to a drink!
The k should be earned, not given.
DART is just generic brand GRIT.