An Idiots Guide to a Night Game

Editor's Note: This is TKP's official stance on how to conduct yourself Saturday. --Joe

66,233. Remember this number. It is exactly the amount of people necessary to take a structure of steel and stone and turn it into a terrorizing sea of opposition for any visiting team. Let the sun go down and an energy amasses that can go toe-to-toe with any stadium in the country. Lane Stadium is considered by most as a second tier venue behind the likes of The Big House, The Swamp, and Happy Valley heralding body counts near or above 100,000. However, the fan base is what makes or breaks the intensity. In 2005 Rivals ranked Lane as #1 in their Toughest Places to Play followed by a #2 spot in ESPN’s “Top 10 Scariest Places to Play”. Make it a night game in a marquee match up and any visiting team will give it a unanimous #1. Getting to that point however takes a lot of hard work, determination, and high tolerance for alcohol. Therefore, herein will be a go to guide for preparation if making the trip to Blacksburg this Saturday.

     Tailgating is the quintessential ingredient for a successful night game experience. We all know how god awful it is to wake up from a night of rails only to set up at 8am and pack a day’s worth of food and beverage consumption into a four hour timeframe for a noon kick off. Much like our players, going into the game cold or with limited warm up reps can create a lackluster and dangerous performance. However, with a night game it’s a marathon, not a sprint. My proven method to keep an even keel is food, food, food, beer, beer, water, beer, food, beer, water, beer. As we head further into fall this combo allows for a good buzz along with the coveted “beer blanket”. In my undergrad days I made the constant mistake of hanging out with friends Jack and Jim much too early all the while going for gold in my own version of tailgate Olympics. As fun as that was, turning this Maroon Effect game into a Black Out causes obnoxiousness and miscues on key chants and plays. We want your A-game folks.

   Once the last shotgun is taken it is time to make the trek from whatever length away to the majestic gates. This time should be taken to reflect on how “F’ing Pumped” you are Bro and Bro-ette’s. Not partaking in the veritable high five-a-thon and chants should be illegal. Fellow Hokies want those pipes primed with an incessant LETS GOOOO!!! HOKIESSSS!!! It is highly encouraged to be as loud as possible in front of opposing fans to offer somewhat of an appetizer before the cohesive main dish is served. Being a d-bag however is not preferred. Many visiting fans often applaud Hokies for being inviting, fun, and respectful. Blacksburg IS NOT Morgantown. We’re all better because of that.

   Up to this point has been child’s play. We’ve gone through a month of boring games against lesser talent and that’s been easily visible in play and intensity of the fan base. This match up kicks off the long ACC ridden road ahead against what appears to be Heather Dinnich’s new love child. Good for them. However, they are not in Kansas…err Clemson anymore. As the 12th man we must be at one speed, go. The Enter Sandman themed jump fest is one of the most unique entrances in the country. It sets the tone for the rest of the game and can probably level a small city. This and the subsequent and deafening "Lets Go!....Hokies!" is where focus and determination are key. It takes EVERYONE to rock the house as the other team enters the field. This is a young group and will probably be the first time they have ever been in such an environment. Most likely the most hostile they will be in all year. Unnerving the competition from the get go allows our team to feed off that energy. When it comes to fruition as did in ’03 against Miami it will be one of the most beautiful things to witness. With that, the game is never over until the clock hits zero. Many made that mistake against Nebraska, including this idiot. Be your loudest on every down that our defense is on the field and church mouse silent when the offense takes the field. Also, for the love of God do not forget your keys. Holding onto a key ring with single key another had to break down for you is outright pitiful. Ive seen the magic of Disney, partied in the tropics, and been a part of some amazing games but they all pale in comparison to that fateful night my freshman year when Miami came to town so full of “swagger”. For those going I hope it becomes one for the story books. For those of you at home, we will be your voice. We Are Virginia Tech!


You sir

have my direct permission to yell loud enough to expel any of the following during the course of the game in my stead: tonsils, tounge, lungs, and/or massive amounts of phlem and spittle.

Take the shortest route to the ball and arrive in bad humor.


"Get busy livin', or get busy dyin'."

I say, "Get busy jumpin'."


If that doesn't get you this video a few times:

"what appears to be Heather Dinnich’s new love child." Excellent prose man.


My throat tends to be raw by half time from all the yelling. On Saturday, if it isn't red meat by the end of the first quarter, then I will have been unsuccessful. (Unless of course we have a 15 minute drive to last us through the entire quarter and rest up our defense)

Logan 3:16

My crusade about 4th down.

Excellent prose, my dear Hokiebonoz. I can't say I disagree with a single sentence you wrote.

That said, I would like to add one reminder to Hokie Nation:

Be louder on 4th down than you were on 3rd down!

Forget about meekly chanting Block that kick, or waiving your arms like a fool.

Instead, cup your hands to your mouth and yell louder than you did the previous 3 downs.

I yearn for a special teams TD.


The uneven hand motioning and weakened chant on fourth may have led to some of the defficiencies in our Special Teams play. I remember when we did as if we willed the kick to be blocked.

Lexiconically speaking...

I yearn for more people to use the word "yearn" in conversation.

if you have any voice left on sunday, you did it wrong. night games in Lane are special, its up to the crowd to intimidate this young clemson team. don't let them hear the plays, force multiple false starts and delay of games, and stay loud for all 60 minutes. be passionate, but don't be a dick to their fans. most importantly GO HOKIES!!!!!

"We were at the pinnacle, and we did it for years," Foster says. He pauses, nods, takes a deep breath. "And I did it with the best guy in the business."


Just a more precise version of what I wanted to say. Thanks! Ill be screaming and may even by a whistle to put into rotation.

Don't bother

It'll be confiscated and, at worst, can confuse the players. Remember those guys in the stripes use whistles.


Dont let up

I think a huge thing for this game will be to be continuously loud until the final whistle blows. Clemson will have some success, but we cant let up. If the air gets let out of the stadium, pick it up on the next drive. No need to chalk it as a loss because of a bad play. if we can conjure up 60 minutes of continuous, unrestrained bedlam there's no doubt in my mind the tigers will be running out of here with their tails between their legs.

Did you know.... that turkeys eat ligers in the wild?!

Great article! Go get em HokieBonoz/Jester... and GO HOKIES! #ligers

Well said.

I'll be stranded in New York wishing I was there.

Thanks for writing this, Beau!

Row Z forever.


Have never seen that but excellent piece of work. "sitting down is for tea parties, Standing up for football"


I miss them as well...they did have a season preview this year...but it was always hilarious to read the weekly rant...and to see who it was "copyrighted by"

second. that friday afternoon email always set the tone for the weekend. know...

Will be

Cheering hard with my boys from Denver. Heading out for the weekend but will be at a bar at 4pm mountain time to kick this bitch off. Will be rocking mad Hokie gear in CO. Gobble gobble bitches.

The Tech fans storm the field!

Just don't. Not with Clemson ranked behind us, no matter how hyped this game currently is. It was justified against Miami in 2003. I think justified against Clemson in 2006. Not justified against Nebraska in 2009 or Georgia Tech in 2010. It's just not necessary with a W on Saturday. And I'm not even accusing the people reading this site of doing it, but if you're there and it might happen, discourage the young'ns and tell them to save it for the big wins.

I agree

There has been a lot of field stormin' so far this year and I feel the student body, which has a short memory and very little context for this potential win, might overreact. If they start to run down the bleachers I'll turn around and say "is that Justin Bieber near the top of East stands?".... That should get 'em

storming the field

I have mixed feelings about this... many students at the game haven't ever stormed the field before, which is why it is so awesome and enticing to do so. I stormed the field in 2006 when I was a freshman... it was amazing, and I would do it again. Have no problem with students storming the field/court, especially at night against a very good team, let them have fun.

re: storming the field

Of course it's awesome and enticing to do so, but the conditions have to be right for it. In 2006 we were an underdog and unranked and gave CJ Spiller's Tigers all they could handle in a win that would get us back into the Top-25 and headed for a shit-the-bed performance in the Chick-fil-A Bowl.

Nebraska in 2009 was an emotional, we're-out-of-it/holy-shit-we-just-won-it game, but it still didn't quite pass the field-rushing test. The game last year against an unranked GT was punctuated with David MF Wilson running faster than Usain Bolt, and, following the game, I was embarrassed to be in Lot 2 drinking a Miller Lite only to hear the PA announcer ask fans to leave the field. What the hell were the fans doing on the field? Sure, great endings to both games, but still not enough reason to get on the Worsham Field turf.

Saturday is different. Now, we're both ranked and Clemson is a better team with two wins over ranked teams, one of which was in-conference. We were lucky to get out of Greenville with a win and faltered against Arkansas State. I'm just saying that, in perspective, this is not a field-rushing victory. This is, at best, a drink-your-bourbon-and-Coke-and-thank-sweet-Christ-and-His-son-Bud-Foster victory.

The 12th MAN!?

No, No, NO SIR! We don't have the 12TH MAN! WE HAVE THE 13TH MAN!

This needed to get bumped

Before Monday's game to remind everyone

Logan 3:16