Usually to start this column I have a humorous anecdote or something major that has happened either to me recently, such as Peter Lalich's Tupac to my Biggie Smalls (kids, ask your parents).
But this week? Nothing. It was just a weird week of random stories that really had no bearing on my life at all. I think this can all chalk up to one thing: senioritis. I have noticed that my level of caring, especially in a scholastic sense, has fallen off a cliff this semester. My production and care has dropped off so much, you can basically call me Rorell Breddie.
(Side note: To put it in perspective, do I know my dad reads this site pretty religiously? Yes. That is my level of caring right now.)
Anyway, I think the karmic gods have come back to bite me in the behind because not only do I not have any awesome stories...well none that don't involve rails or the words "snow beers"...but also my internet cut out almost ALL day yesterday, meaning that I couldn't even email this column to Joe.
Karma is getting me for being lazy...and the worst part is that I don't care at all. Is this what being Matt Leinart is like?
Anyway, here are some of the better stories over the past week:
University of Cincinnati has been making a huge effort to win over the heart of the ACC by starting a 70 million dollar stadium renovation and sending a video of the project to the president of each ACC school. The presidents responded by starting a chain email with the subject line "LOL" and continued to spam John Swofford's inbox with mean cat memes. On a related note, doesn't it seem like Cincy is trying to jump off the Titanic, only to find that Kate Winslet (read Syracuse, Pittsburgh and Louisville) is too fat to let them float to safety?
In the ever popular Sun Belt Conference news, apparently Florida Atlantic found a new sponsor for their stadium! The problem? That sponsor is a privately run prison system. While this is a major controversy in the diverse state, my favorite part is calling the stadium "Owlcatraz". Awesomely bad. I mean...that is my favorite terribly stadium name of all time. I don't care if this works out, I'm calling FAU the Owlcatraz from now on.
Speaking of controversial disciplinarians, the NCAA reportedly slapped Miami with the "Lack of Institutional Control" charge. That's right, the organization that had to fire MULTIPLE investigators over multiple cases spanning multiple sports did that. I suppose no one knows being out of control more than the NCAA? That's like Tyrann Mathieu busting Ricky Williams for weed.
In somber news, ESPN has reportedly decided to not bring back Bob Knight as a color commentator after his contract expires this season. The man who revolutionized the sweater on national TV, Knight has been more recently remembered for looking like he wanted to constantly want to fight everyone on the College Basketball Live set and a bias against John Calipari. Jason McIntyre wrote in his report, "a call to Knight's cell phone went unanswered." Even more surprising, he also ignored all of the telegraphs sent his way.
In Chicago, DePaul students are being criticized for making a student section shirt that some might consider to contain an inappropriate innuendo. I think we can all comfortably say though that the people of Chicago were all a little confused by the subtleness of this t-shirt. I mean they're probably used to dicks, but it's usually never subtle .
That's it for this week, have a great weekend y'all.