Mission NOT Accomplished

All of of us have been schooled in Advanced Trap Game Theory, so I'm fairly confident that I don't have to explain to anybody here that we have a potential textbook trap game scenario coming up this week. I actually believe the remainder of the season could qualify for trap status. Well Hokies, in case you're kicked back, resting on your laurels, I have a list of reasons why all of you need to be jacked up and raring to go for the remainder of the schedule.

9/13 - East Carolina- Let's be honest here. We're all suffering from a case of severe PPE (Purple Pirate Exhaustion) Watching you guys play ECU over the past 10 years is like watching a replay your own root canal in slow motion on video. This is the week to put a hurting on these guys so bad, that ECU forces AD Whit into arbitration to get out of the contract.

9/20 - Georgia Tech - Paul Johnson STILL thinks he can outcoach Bud Foster. He's probably sitting in his office right now drawing Sharpie moustaches on all of our coaches' pictures in his advance copy of the game program. Personally, I think CPJ's seat is starting to get toasty. How does not having to prepare for his 1796 style offense ever again sound? Beat the Jackets at home on this day and kneecaps everywhere may soon be able to once again move outside of the shadows.

9/27 - Western Michigan - Any day where there is an opportunity to destroy anything with the word "Michigan" in it is a good day... Rejoice.

10/4 - North Carolina - Revenge game. Many will think the Hokies got the Tar Heels back with the win at Lane last year. No, no, my friends. No revenge is complete until you've gone back to their house, ate all of their food, kicked their dog, and slept in their beds with their wives.

10/16 - Pittsburgh - See above. I mean...really, really see above like a motherfucker. Also, because Thursday night.

10/23 - Also, also because Thursday Night. And because Lane Stadium. And because Miami.

11/1 - Boston College - Revenge Part I. For instructions on Revenge Part II see the UNC, Pitt games, and wait until 2015.

11/15 - Duke. Oh my Lord, if you guys can't get up for this one we need to get Gentry to check for pulses.

11/22 - Wake Forest - Because I'll be there. I also would have been in the Coliseum in ancient Rome eating popcorn and watching lions maul dudes. I expect this to be no different.

11/28 - UVa. No comment.

Questions? No? Good. Let's go.