TKP Fantasy Football - Week 2

Sorry for the delay in posts this week - got crazy busy at work, which ran into my evenings. So I've got our league recaps and NFL gifs, but not NFL recaps. Remember, I'm a Redskins fan, so you can figure out my biases pretty easily.

Draft recap/season preview is here. Week 1 recap is here.

(gifs via CBS, Bleacher Report, Bro Bible, Deadspin, NFL RT, gifdsports and @_marcusD)_

Mohammed Sanu can throw!

Ted Ginn Jr. proves he is alive by shitting on the Giants

Brandon Marshall wasn't really even supposed to play, and then he did things like this.

TURN DOWN FOR WATT

RIP Cameraman, thanks to Julius Thomas

Mike Wallace proves he is still alive by making this catch.

Antonio Gates caught 3 TD's against the Seachickens?!?

I don't think the Packers are really missing James Jones

This is how the Pats got a bajillion fantasy points this week

KYLE FULLER INT DOT GIF

Darren Sproles is okay.

Vine of the week: Arkansas St. Fake Punt

Frank Beamer Conference standings

Team daniballsdeep (danibails) 102, Centaurrian Gray (historyhokie) 87
Does this matchup mark the end of me talking crap about danibails team? Hell no. She got the better end of me this week thanks to three 20+ point performances (Rodgers, Foster and Buffalo D). While I had a breakout game from Antonio Gates (27) and a good one from DeMarco Murray (20), the rest of my team pooped the bed harder than Roy Williams when he forgets to wear depends.

Turn Down For Watt (CharlesK) 100, Demaryius Targaryen (The Fighting Gobbler) 60
CharlesK was one of the strongest teams in the 2013 league and is proving to be one of the strongest so far in the Frank Beamer Conference, as he's only behind the great Centaurrian Gray in points scored (that's me, suckers). Jordy Nelson (26) and New England D (27) led the way for him this week, and he was able to put up a Benjamin despite only scoring 5 points combined between Matt Forte, Vernon Davis, Marques Colston and Nate Freese. The Fighting Gobbler followed up on his great week 1 with a disappointing week 2, getting solid but unspectacular performances from the likes of Rashad Jennings (8), Calvin Johnson (8) and Demaryius Thomas (12),three guys score between 0 and 2 points and no stud outings to boot.

Team Morton (etch21) 100, Johnny Manzeitgeist (scobeard) 75
Raise your hand if you expected Philip Rivers and Niles Paul to combine to outscore Drew Brees and Gronk by 21 points this week. If you raised your hand, you're a liar, and liars go to hell. Scobeard had a respectable 65 points out of his top 5 scorers but then only 10 out of his bottom 5. Etch21 on the other hand had four studs with 15+ points (Rivers, Cobb, Paul and Champagne Supernovak) and really only one dud in Allen Hurns (1).

Treadmill Horses (macraw83) 91, Vick In A Box (phillyhokie007) 89
Whichever team lost this matchup was bound to look back and ponder what could have been. Phillyhokie007 was doomed by injuries to RGIII (3) and AJ Green (0), which makes the 89 point performance led by Darren Sproles (23) and Jimmy Graham (23) pretty impressive. Treadmill Horses didn't get destroyed by the injury bug (Mark Ingram got hurt, but he also scored 16 points), but had meh games out of Michael Floyd (1), Kyle Rudolph (5) and Minny's D (2). At least they didn't tie.

BeerMe Egbert (egbert) 86, The BeLealver (badmaroonrising) 78
As a history major, I should have known better than to poke holes in a squad led by a great general. Egbert's team didn't look the best to me on paper, but he has Peyton Manning, and is 2-0 because of it. Losing Knowshon Moreno will hurt, but Zac Stacy (11) put up a positive performance and Reggie Bush likely won't underperform all year. Badmaroonrising had Brandon Marshall (22) make things interesting on Sunday night (thanks to Kyle Fuller) and Nick Foles (17) got it closer on Monday, but couldn't rebound from 0 points from Jamaal Charles and 1 from DeSean Jackson as they left early due to injuries.

Team Cody w/ a C (biz_belle) 86, Team Griffindor (realdiehl) 86
OH MY GOD, WHO THE HELL TIES? I THOUGHT AMERICA ABOLISHED TIES! THANKS OBAMA. If only Andrew Luck didn't throw that derpy late interception or Reggie Wayne caught another pass or SOMETHING, we wouldn't have gotten stuck in this mess. I'd blame the commissioner for not having a tiebreaker built in, but he'd just put on his pouty face and puppy dog eyes, and it's hard to stay mad at that.

Bud Foster Conference standings

3rd and 31 (jhn brynt) 129.5, Foster's D gets after ya (vtdirk12) 89
It's hard to lose when you get 61 points out of a WR and a TE (Jordy Nelson and Antonio Gates). A half point out of Greg Jennings prevented 3rd and 31 from putting up a truly beast mode score, but he easily had the best week out of the Bud Foster Conference. Foster's D struggled Sunday more than it did on Saturday, with Vernon Davis and Knowshon Moreno getting banged up. Aaron Rodgers' solid 27 point outing was the most noteworthy performance for Bud's boys that will get after ya.

Cajun Graham-balaya (MVNet2011) 121.5, Ticket Oak (VTimHokie85) 63
Jimmy Graham and Arian Foster scored 21+ and Wilson, Edelman and the Skins' D scored 17+ to lead Cajun Graham-Balaya to an easy victory this week. Ticket Oak was chopped down by injuries (Doug Martin, Ben Tate, Jordan Reed and Cecil Shorts III) and douchebaggery (Adrian Peterson), forcing him to start the likes of Jonathan Stewart, Bobby Rainey and Allen Hurns. VTimHokie85 wrote his own epitaph in the draft recap thread: "I am gonna live or die by my running backs this year. That's how i like it." Hurts so good, I guess.

Dork Magic (mnemonic) 117.5, Rocco's Italian Army (rocco) 79
After looking close to unstoppable during week one, Rocco's Italian Army looked slightly more stoppable this week, with only four double digit outings and Philip Rivers (24) being the lone soul above 11 points. Fortunately Rocco has some starting-ish RB's on the bench in Ridley and Pierce, because the annual Ryan Mathews injury has arrived (side note - I can't stand the fact that there is only one "t" in Mathews here). Mnemonic's Dork Magic was pretty dipped this week (only fully dipped if he leads the league in points in a week!), as he got 27 out of the Pats' D and 24.5 out of Giovani Bernard. Appears that Gio was upset at not being drafted by his home country, Italy, and took it out on their army this week.

Houston Swedish Chef (Andrew) 105.5, Highty Tighty Phoenix (hightytighty) 100.5
Both of these teams put up nice scoring weeks despite having some real duds on the team. For Houston Swedish Chef, Matt Ryan and Kelvin Benjamin had disappointing weeks (that's why you avoid people with two first names!), but 41.5 points combined from his two Dallas players (Murray and Bryant) helped him squeak one out. Highty Tighty Phoenix had AJ Green get hurt, the Broncos' D score 2 and Blair Walsh get 0 points to ruin a 26.5 pointer out of Sproles and a 25 pointer out of DELANIE WALKER. I mean, if you're psychic enough to have Delanie Walker in your lineup last week, how did you miss out on Matt Asiata over Justin Forsett or Zac Stacy over Markus Wheaton? Delanie must have sucked up all of the psychic abilities.

Vick In A Box (Alex Koma) 103.5, Kuhn On The Cobb (petebuddywilson) 102
It's always fun when you have a fantasy matchup decided on MNF (unless, of course, you're the team that loses). Vick In A Box had double digit points out of 6 of 9 starters, led by Peyton Manning's 21 and Jeremy Maclin outscored Zac Ertz by 2 to seal a 1.5 point victory. Kuhn On The Cobb had 19.5 out of Randall Cobb and 20 out of Alfred Morris, but had a disappointing 11 out of Tony Romo and 6 out of Eddie Lacy. John Kuhn was held to 0.5 points on the bench, too.

Denied Pussy Touchdown (prripper) 93.5, Cartoons Plural (hokiehighlander) 65.5
Brandon Marshall's Pussy Touchdowns were not denied, and his 24.5 points combined with Dan Bailey's 19 led Denied Pussy Touchdown to a big win. Two of the four top scorers for Pripper were on the bench (Cutler - 25 and Ingram - 17.5), but they weren't needed for the W this week. Cartoons Plural had meh/poor weeks from his two studs (Brees with 15 and Charles with 0.5 before being injured) and the rest of the team all had pretty mediocre weeks, with just the Panthers' D and Justin Tucker putting up double digits. A healthy Alshon Jeffery will help things next week, though.

Sam Rogers Conference standings

Carolina Sex Panthers (vtmaroonorange) 125, Demarcotion Criteria (ftkeith) 98
The Carolina Sex Panthers are pretty damn good. Imagine if they actually started Delanie Walker this week - they would have scored 138. It's impressive to have three 20+ point performances (Rodgers, Foster and Bills' D), especially when you also have 4 more double digit performers. Demarcotion Criteria didn't have a bad week, just ran into a very good team who had a better week. Murray and Sproles combined for 43 and Wilson (17) and Edelman (14) contributed as well, but with 4 single digit performances and a donut (Blair Walsh), it was an uphill battle. A healthy Doug Martin could have helped, though.

Team Powers' Mojo (8300A_Hokie'12) 97, Sarah Stone DD Here 4 the TD's (Choppin wood by the JUGS) 70
Peyton (21) + Alf (20) + Jordy (26) = winz, even with Chris Johnson putting the 2 in CJ2K, DeSean Jackson scoring 1, Witten and Boldin scoring 3 each, etc. Looks like Powers has his Mojo. Sarah Stone was hurt by Moreno's injury and had Antonio Gates' 27 points on the bench; combine that with okay but not standout games from Le'Veon Bell (9) and Demaryius Thomas (11) and it was a tough week. She'll look to rebound this week with Gates in the lineup and Stepfan Taylor filling in for Moreno.

Doges Plural (such hokie very football) 92, champagne supernovaks (eshiben5) 62
Much Luck (18). Very Dez (16). So Crabtree (14). Doges win. The Champagne Supernovaks had more points on the Bench (73) than in the lineup (73), thanks to Giovani Bernard's 22, Sammy Watkins' 17 and Knile Davis' 21. Three guys in the lineup put up 0's (Charles, Colston and Blount), which brought down Bailey's 19 point game, Julio's 14, Stafford's 13 and CHRIS IVORY'S 10. Fortunately for eshiben5, he has plenty of RB depth, even with the injuries to Charles and Ryan Mathews - he still has Bernard, Joique Bell, Knile Davis, Chris Ivory and LeGarrette Blount.

Bourbon BeamerBudBrewer (jctaughtme) 81, Team FranklyIncensed (coach mcguirk) 68
Bourbon BeamerBudBrewer had a weird week, with low scores out of Broncos D (2), Hauschka (3) and Vernon Davis (5) and double digits or more out of 5 of the other 6 players on the team, with Isaiah Crowell's 5 being the only other crooked number. Foles and Cobb each scored 17 and Terrence West had 14 to lead the way for Team Many (But Not All) Great Things That Start With The Letter B. Team FranklyIncensed had a tough week, with Brees and Lynch combining for a solid but un-studly 26 points, the Bengals' D and Justin Tucker combining for 25, and the rest of the team scoring 17 points. He does have Lamar Miller and Donald Brown, the handcuffs to the injured Moreno and Mathews, so more points should be coming soon.

Fuller Up (will_castel) 77, Megatrons Johnson (mooreheads axe) 65
Fuller Up had an up and down week, with Newton, Spiller, Graham and Gostowski combining for 67 and the other 5 putting up 10 points. AJ Green's 0, Allen Hurns' 1 and the Seahawks' -1 and leaving Cutler's 25 on the bench didn't end up hurting Fuller Up the way some other teams were hurt by similar combinations. Megatrons Johnson also had more points on the bench than in the starting lineup thanks to Brandon Marshall's 22 and Ahmad Bradshaw's 21. I can't blame anyone for not starting Marshall this week, as both he and Jeffrey seemed to be unlikely to play on Sunday morning when lineups were being set. An uncharacteristically weak week from Megatron (8) and a lack of stud performances (only Ingram and Decker scored double digits) hurt Megatron, but getting Marshall, Rashad Jennings and/or Bradshaw in the lineup should make things easier in the coming weeks.

Whigs and Torreys (taylork) 71, Team Copeland (dieter dangler) 66
This was a really weird matchup. I think that Deiter Dangler's squad is actually pretty good, just underperforming - Brady/Dalton, Lacy/Stacy, Fitz/Patterson/Vjax/Hopkins is a pretty solid mix at the skill positionsjust was really awful this week, as four skill players scored 5 points each and Jordan Cameron didn't play. Things will get better for you, Team Copeland. I think. Same sorta deal for Whigs and Torreys, this matchup's winner, but since you're 2-0 and had a good week 1, I figured you didn't need the pep talk. The Patriots D (27) outscored any combination of 2 other starters, but LeSean McCoy's MNF 15 point performance was enough to hold off Vinatieri's 10 and get taylork a victory. A healthy Jordan Reed will help sometime down the road, since Heathen Miller is the starting TE, and Jeffery should be healthy soon.