Halfwits and Wagers: Boston College and the Return of the Loeff

The Hokies face a formidable, albeit middle-of-the-road, Boston College team on Saturday as Virginia Tech looks to rebound from a self-inflicted disaster in Bristol. Former VT offensive coordinator Scot Loeffler makes his return to Blacksburg in the same role with the Eagles. Hokies know all too well how much Loeffler enjoyed scheming for big games, proving his mettle on national television while laying eggs at high noon. Where the 2016 Virginia Tech Hokies fall on that spectrum remains to be seen, but you can bet your butts that Lefty will be looking to make a statement against the program that cast him aside this past winter.

On to the lines!

Better Mustache: Steve Addazio or Vintage Bud Foster?

Brian: Please. It's one thing to go 'stache when you're supposed to go with a 'stache. Addazio is an Italian guy in his mid-fifties. He's basically just living up to the expectation. Foster's mustache game, on the other hand, is both strong and wildly unexpected. I mean look at it! It's like he watched Hulk Hogan in Wrestlemania I and just screamed "YEEEEEEAH BROTHER" and grew it on the spot.

Pierson: I respect the hell out of Addazio's mustache game. It's part of who he is. His kids would probably cry if he ever shaved it off because they wouldn't recognize the man walking toward them looking for his weekly consoling hug. The problem is that Addazio's mouth brow is so humdrum. If you Google image searched him, you would probably think you accidentally typed "Jesse Ventura."

Bud, on the other hand, is a man of the times. You can look at a photo of Bud and know exactly what was in style when the photo was taken. One look at Bud's lady tickler and you know he's got subscriptions to Men's Health and GQ. He's just cooooooooooooool. Plus, would it surprise you one bit if Bud decided one day to go out, buy a Harley and show up rocking the crap out of a steezy Fu Manchu like he invented the look?

Over/Under: 59.5 Total Plays for the BC Offense?

Brian: I'm going under, just because I think they'll be really, really bad offensively. Scot Loeffler will have one or two tricks up his sleeve to do his best attempt at revenge, but his guys will still struggle against Foster's unit. They had 54 plays against a shaky Georgia Tech team (albeit during the first week of the season in Dublin), and didn't do a ton better against UMass last week.

Pierson: Coming from someone who attended last season's humiliating game in Chestnut Hill, I'm admittedly conflicted on where to go with this line. Sure, the Hokies only won 26-10, but BC's offense got their spark from a dude that looked like he was throwing with his off-hand in front of an almost empty stadium (sans 1,500 Tech fans). Patrick Towles is a capable passer, but is his supporting cast up to snuff?

I'm going to take the over, if only because I have this strange feeling the Hokies offense uses their pace to neutralize the Eagles' defensive beef. That pace will keep the Hokies' overall time of possession lower and give Loeffler's boys some extra snaps. Shoot, even Liberty managed 62 plays in the season opener.

Over/Under: 1.5 Boston College Drives Before the Announcers Discuss How Scot Loeffler Made Logan Thomas Into an NFL-Caliber Quarterback

Brian: UNDER. They're either hitting it in the pregame, or at the very start of Boston College's first possession. Color me shocked when a graphic popped on my screen during BC vs. GT comparing current Eagles signal caller Patrick Towles to Logan. Scot Loeffler is the most magical press agent I've ever seen in my entire life. After he falls victim to another regime change (bound to happen, right?), he's going to somehow convince someone else he's a quarterback whisperer. In case you forgot, here are his most noteworthy proteges:

• Chad Henne
• Tim Tebow
• Logan Thomas
• Patrick Towles

How terribly average is that list? You think NFL people make fun of him? "Oh here comes the QB guru, blessing us with Timmy Tebow and Chad "I should always play in Jacksonville" Henne!"

Pierson: Hard under. Anyone who watched five minutes of BC-Georgia Tech caught one of the 700 commentaries or on-screen graphics documenting the Loeffler-Logan connection. I still can't understand why that's the connection people continue to make. Nothing against Logan, but by this harebrained metric Mike O'Cain should be the offensive coordinator at Alabama and not East Tennessee State.

The only rationalization I can come up with is that as last season went south, Lefty updated his CV by putting Logan's name atop his hallowed list of middling proteges in an effort to appear contemporary. It's almost as bad as the guy who puts "2006 Time Magazine's Person of the Year" atop theirs.

Who Runs More Jet Sweeps? Boston College or Virginia Tech?

Brian: Ugh, Tech I guess. These things are here to stay, even though I'd much rather Travon McMillian or Shai McKenzie get three extra carries than an in-motion C.J. Carroll or Bucky Hodges.

Pierson: Gimme Tech. We didn't see anything from Henri Murphy last week despite all of the chatter, and I think Hokies OC Brad Cornelsen looks to spread out the BC front seven early and often. Based on what I saw during the BC-GT game, I'm not entirely convinced Lefty has the skill position personnel to win the edge consistently enough against a defense like the Hokies.

Over/Under: 1.5 Fumbles for Virginia Tech?

Brian: Under, just because I think fumbles are a relative statistical anomaly. What're the odds that a team has nine fumbles in two games? And on top of that, what're the odds they lose them all? Sure, some of it stems from legitimate ball security issues, but things like a botched snap or a punt hitting the wrong guy? It's just bad luck.

Pierson: Under. No way can the Hokies continue to fumble at their current rate. As French pointed out some of the fumbles are a result of timing within a new system and some are the product of poor ball security. By all accounts, there has been so much stripping on the practice field you would think it was an episode of the Red Shoe Diaries. I'm expecting a major correction this week based on a renewed focus on execution and complete and utter fear of being, "that guy."

Matchup Over/Under: 42

Brian: Over. BC's defense is good, but Jerod Evans and company feel like they're on the verge of a real breakout. They kept things vanilla against Liberty, which meant scoring was down. And then they played a legitimately good defense in Tennessee. Call me crazy, but it feels like this could be one of those games where Tech gets 38 without breaking much of a sweat.

Pierson: Over. Last week's score wasn't indicative of either units' potential: The offense proved that they're capable of high volume yardage and point totals so long as they can stay out of their own way; and the defense was victimized by short fields that amplified the Tennessee point total. I think the Hokies D cuts down on the chunk yardage plays and remains relatively stout against the Eagles, while the offense looks to make a statement against a consistently talented defense.

Spread: Virginia Tech (-6)

Brian: I'm weirdly confident about this game, considering the showing the Hokies had in Bristol last week. But despite the sloppy dumpster fire in the last three quarters, I still liked what I saw from Justin Fuente's guys. They played with pace, had a few explosive plays, and left a ton on the table. The Hokies already have more talent, if they grow from last week they should win by at least two scores.

Pierson: Frankly, this spread is embarrassing. I think there's a lot of respect in Vegas for the Eagles defense; some added points accounting for Lefty's ability to shine in big games; and challenges trying to pin down this Tech team. It's the only way I can rationalize a six point spread at home against a team that has lost 9 consecutive ACC games. Give me Tech outright. If the Hokies can't beat BC by more than six points at home, it could be a long season.

Disclaimer: Some of these are real betting lines, but many of them are fake and none of this is real advice that should be taken seriously.