I thought about combining my two of my passions - warships and college football - and decided to make a half decent attempt at a late offseason shit-post for a couple of yucks. I wanted to take a look at the Power 5 conferences as a whole and see where they would fit as World War 1 navies capital ships.
The ACC is the United States Navy. By the time the US entered the war, they only possessed one modern class (Clemson) of superdreadnoughts (the New York-class) that they were comfortable sending over as lack of supply in the UK prevented the crossing of the oil powered battleships. They did cross the Atlantic with a full squadron of 5 battleships (Delaware, Florida, Wyoming, and later Arkansas replacing Delaware) to fight, but the others, you particularly didn't want to actually see in a fight against anything the major powers might lead with. To me, those other five are UNC, Miami, NC State, VT, and UL.
The Big 12 is the Marine Nationale. The less capable battleships of the fleet were essentially placed with skeleton crews to allow the "heavier hitters" (Bretagne-class), although, even those were practically absorbed by the Royal Navy's Mediterranean Fleet, to allow them to consolidate their own dreadnoughts in the Grand Fleet.
The Pac12 is a combination of the Regia Marina, Imperial Russian, and Austro-Hungarian navies. By all means they're practically ignored by the big four naval powers. USC and Oregon (Gangut-class) certainly have the speed to make things interesting, but the Kaiserlichemarine is usually more than a match for them whenever they face off. I like and respect the Tegethoff-class (Colorado, Stanford, and Cal), but the Svent Istvan (UCLA) was doomed from the start. The rest of the Pac12 are the battleships of the Regia Marina. They exist. Some of them are kind of quirky and fun.
The Big Ten is the Kaiserlichemarine. They mostly consist of undergunned warships that can take a punch, but the Bayern-class (Ohio State) is the best hope at matching the upper tier Royal Navy battleships in a fight. Maryland is the pre-dreadnought squadron at Jutland. It does not belong. Penn State and Michigan are the Derfflinger-class battlecruisers; great in their weight-class, but God help them if they come up against a battleship.
And finally, the SEC, or in this instance, the Royal Navy. They've got the numbers. They've got the firepower (Alabama and LSU/Queen Elizabeth-class). They've got the speed. They've even got the odd-balls that they pilfered from elsewhere (Missouri/HMS Erin, Texas A&M/HMS Agincourt). They've got warships of esteem and pride (Florida and Georgia as Iron Duke-class). They've got ships that will blow up due to poor practices and discipline (Tennessee and Arkansas/HMS Invincible and HMS Indefatigable). Bonus* They'll have the big sexy thing show up in a few years with the biggest guns, fastest speed, and biggest price tag only to get blown up the first time it sees something in it's own weight class.
Double Bonus: The Ottoman Navy is Notre Dame (SMS Goeben/aka Yavuz Sultan Selim). A ship that should be in the Kaiserlichemarine, but due to it's own circumstance, fled to the Ottomans. Can still wreck the Russian Navy if it wanted to.
Feel free to comment or recommend any changes. That's was shit-posting is all about.
Comments
Excellent write up. Ex-Navy with a fond memory of the USS New Jersey BB-62 sailing in the Gulf of Tonkin in the late 60's. She and USS Enterprise CVN-65 got a lot of respect from us tin can sailors. Looking forward to Military Appreciation Day at Lane. My heart swells with pride. Go Hokies and thank you vets.
Which SEC teams are battlecruisers?
Tennessee and Arkansas. Although you could probably throw SoCar in there as well.
I've always found WWI/II history to be fascinating, but I've never had the time/opportunity to really learn more about it. Anyways, thanks for sharing.
For the naval war of World War 1, I recommend Castles of Steel by Robert Massie. He also has Dreadnought which is about the naval buildup that led to the war.
For the naval pacific campaign in WWII Ian Toll has a trilogy beginning with Pacific Crucible. I've only read the first but it's very easy to digest.
Those four Iowa class battleships were immensely impressive capital ships. Had the privilege of landing my SH-3G helicopter on the tail end of the Wisconsin in the first Gulf War and the sight of those three 16-inch guns pointed at our cockpit was sobering. Your analysis of the WW1 naval powers seems pretty spot on. The Royal Navy was definitely the big dog in those days and remained formidable until after WW2. The rise of aircraft carriers, submarine warfare and missile technology made the era of dreadnought battleships a footnote in military history. Battleship diplomacy was definitely a calling card in the 18th - 20th centuries though.