Jeff Hafley's full name is Jeff Hafley - and he almost didn't graduate from high school because school administrators didn't believe that Jeff was his full first name
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Jeff's first passion was to be a famous front man in a boy band.
The band's name was Jeff and the Haf Tones.
It achieved some modicum of success on the South American ballroom dance scene.
Ultimately the band folded because they could never get a second gig. Jeff had a really bad habit of using his best pickup line on septuagenarian dancers.
That line was surprisingly successful in that setting, but the Bookers would never sign them up again because so many of his conquests later reported being very disappointed over feeling Haf empty, and the realization that they didn't play big band music.
But mostly it was the bad sex.
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Edit: that might be the best thing on Reddit. Not only does Texas' special teams coach make $1,000,000 a year, he got that job AFTER he left his wife and kids for a stripper named Pole Assassin who uses her pet monkey in her act. I think Texas is definitely ready for the SEC.
I have a good friend who's a Washington State fan and apparently Jeff Banks was the punter on their '97 rose bowl team with Ryan Leaf. I mean, they are looking for a coach and the monkey is vaccinated.
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"It does early in the week. Sunday is hard, because you try to not let it affect the players. But Sunday is hard for the coaches because Sunday is Sunday, but it's also Monday. So you need to do all of the work you would normally do on a Monday, you need to do that Sunday because you lose a day. Monday, in my mind, is Tuesday. Today's Wednesday for me. My whole world is Wednesday right now. Like, it's weird. Monday Night Football was on last night and I said, 'Why are they playing on a Tuesday night?' That's how screwed up I am.
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Because we've already gone digital, so we don't need a sundial, or a coo-coo clock.
"You stick the stick in the ground. Not just any old stick, but a straight stick, you see? And then you watch where the shadow of the stick is at say 8 am. Well, it could be 9 am, but for the point of this example, let's just use 8 am. I mean, any of these would do, but it's just an example. And then..."
"Oh, wait, you wanted a coo-coo clock? well, you start with a bird and a little house. Not just any bird, but one that coo-coos on the hour. Well, it could also coo-coo on the half hour. And it's best if this bird is Swiss. Well, technically, it could also be German. Anyhoo, you gotta have a little bird..."
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Comments
Jeff Hafley is so unknown I do not even know what team he coaches
Jeff Hafley thinks there's something better than just guys being dudes.
Jeff Hafley worked on that facial hair for 8 months and he's pretty damn proud of it.
Jeff Hafley thinks it's classy that Gary Patterson went to work this morning
Jeff Hafley's team is so irrelevant this thread is what made me realize that Steve Addazio isn't the coach there anymore
I honestly had no idea who BC's coach was.
My mind still defaults to Jeff Jagodzinski, then I remember how he left town unceremoniously.
Jeff Hafley wishes his mom named him Geoff
WE WANT STEVE ADDAZIO, NOT JEFF HAFLEY.
well duh a 3-5 CSU team is one i think we can beat
Jeff Hafley is not a Dude.
Jeff Hafley's full name is Jeff Hafley - and he almost didn't graduate from high school because school administrators didn't believe that Jeff was his full first name
Jeff Hafley orders top shelf on your tab while you are having rail drinks.
Can I get a large reuben, with chips on the side, and a dr pepper to drink, please?
And please put your Jersey Mike's hat back on, I don't want dandruff in my sandwich.
not hating worked out for me last week...so who?
I refuse to hate on Jeff Hafley until he doesn't become the next coach of Virginia Tech.
Until then, Jeff you are a fantastic coach and you would love Blacksburg
If he came to VT, the leadership team would be Haf-Whit.
Jeff's favorite pick up line is "Hey baby! You look like an optimist. How'd you like to be Haf full?"
Jeff Hafley refers to his pre and post game speeches as "Haftime". Subsequently, he calls actual halftime "mid-game break".
Hey, Jeff, make mine a latte.
Jeff's first passion was to be a famous front man in a boy band.
The band's name was Jeff and the Haf Tones.
It achieved some modicum of success on the South American ballroom dance scene.
Ultimately the band folded because they could never get a second gig. Jeff had a really bad habit of using his best pickup line on septuagenarian dancers.
That line was surprisingly successful in that setting, but the Bookers would never sign them up again because so many of his conquests later reported being very disappointed over feeling Haf empty, and the realization that they didn't play big band music.
But mostly it was the bad sex.
A little known fact is that in high school, the name of his band was the Tone d'Hafs.
That is an upvote.
Jeff is disappointed he didn't get the sweet new balance footwear with the job.
Jeff Hafley's favorite element is hafnium. And he's made that fewer people know it than oxygen, nitrogen and carbon.
Jeff doesn't know how to do laundry so he buys new Dockers and polos every week. (Yes, I've met someone who does this)
Jeff Hafley has a stripper girlfriend with a pet monkey who bit a trick-or-treater oh crap, that one's real
Edit: that might be the best thing on Reddit. Not only does Texas' special teams coach make $1,000,000 a year, he got that job AFTER he left his wife and kids for a stripper named Pole Assassin who uses her pet monkey in her act. I think Texas is definitely ready for the SEC.
I have a good friend who's a Washington State fan and apparently Jeff Banks was the punter on their '97 rose bowl team with Ryan Leaf. I mean, they are looking for a coach and the monkey is vaccinated.
Special Guest Hatin' On: Jeff Banks showed Ryan Leaf how to party.
Jeff Hafley could have gone pro, but a stripper named Pole Assassin fractured his pelvis and her monkey bit him.
Based on the photo, Jeff Hafley's lower lip is split in half.
Jeff Halfey thinks he's the excellent blind guitar player from the 80's.
Although, pronounced "Kevin", Hafley phonically sounds like phlegm caught in your throat when you cough
The women that Jeff dated in college swear that his name was prophetic, Hafley (half lay).
Ouch! Oh the lack of manhood.
Everybody knows you never go full lay!
Since learning the root of his last name, Jeff Hafley has been telling everyone he is Harry Potter's cousin.
Every time the opposing team's quarterback walks on the field, he whispers "expelliarmus", hoping someday it will actually work.
Jeff Hafley thinks riding a school bus for 30 minutes between the tailgating area and the stadium is normal and a good thing.
** In response to Gobble Gobble Chump's caption on the OP
Jeff Hafley's "million dollar smile" looks like it might need million dollar bail
Jeff Haf-lit isn't nearly as much fun as Jeff Whole-lit.
Jeff Hafley is the coach of a team that is 4-4 and he only makes 3 million a year! Oh wait dammit, that's not how this works.
Jeff Hafley struggles with the days of the week:
All the legs for half destroying a man with his own words. Solid gold!!
If you ask Jeff Hafley what time it is, he will tell you how to build a clock.
I'm over here trying to figure out why that is a bad thing.
Because we've already gone digital, so we don't need a sundial, or a coo-coo clock.
username checks out