Hatin' On: Tony Elliott

Tony Elliott eats his ice cream cones with a knife and fork

DISCLAIMER: Forum topics may not have been written or edited by The Key Play staff.

Comments

Tony thinks that calling yourself by your "year" makes you look more sophisticated and doesn't make you look like an idiot in public

He said give to me Roscoe

Tony Elliot thinks backsplash feels good and eats extra at restaurants so he can get that clean washed backside feel when he gets home.

Recovering scientist working in business consulting

Tony Elliott forces his pee at a urinal and aims it straight ahead so he can maximize backsplash

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

Tony Elliott thinks Zima is a refreshing accompaniment to the hotdogs UVa will give you to buy a football ticket.

Tony Elliot idolizes Audi, iPhone, NorthFace, Zima, Sperry, Ray-ban, YETI, and Ascot as "status-symbol brands" and thinks if you don't live in a neighborhood with an HOA you are poor and should be looked down upon

Onward and upward

somehow you forgot YETI. people put their stickers on their freaking cars. People buy them just to take juice boxes to the soccer fields (probably Tony Elliot).

The koozie (xmas gift) is awesome, came with a sticker that I put on my $15 igloo cooler, which people call a YETI and I smirk.

Plan for the worst and hope for the best, not the other way around.

yeah, good one. I've added it

Onward and upward

Tony Elliot accept a job at UVA on his own free will

Tony Elliott thinks UVA was a step up from Clemson.

Tony Elliott thinks thought UVA was a step up from Clemson.

Tony Elliott always opts for the suppository version of his prescriptions.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

It's his version of "Stick it in".

"Stink it in"

"Nooooooooooo!"
~What happened?
"James Franklin to Virginia Tech...."
~Fuck me......*sigh*
"Oh my God.... They're gonna take all our recruits... like WTF bro...."
~*squints eyes in disbelief*

Tony Elliott doesn't like cheese, lettuce, and tomato on tacos because it's "too American," but also complains that cilantro and onions are "too ethnic."

And he bitches that it is "cultural appropriation" when anyone but him eats those tacos.

Recovering scientist working in business consulting

Tony Elliott doesn't like "Land Down Under," "One Night in Bangkok," or either Toto or Weezer's version of "Africa."

But he does like "Waka-Waka" because Shakira is "empowering."

Tony Elliot also doesn't like soft tacos

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

Tony Elliot thinks it goes against the principle of "Hard things together".

Writes itself

Rob Peterson
VTCC
Charlie/Hotel Company
Class of 1999

Wow this cannot be real, right? It would save UVA as it is my understanding Elliot has a large buyout.

Virginia Tech School of Architecture Class of 2014
Fan of Hokies, Ravens, NY Giants, Orioles

You know how these things go. MSU will try to hire Sean McVay, Urban Meyer, Ryan Day, get Nick Saban back, Brent Venables, and Dan Lanning. When they all turn down that souless concrete cold dumpster fire campus, they move on to plan B or C. How they pulled Elliotts name as opposed to say - Justin Fuente- is a mystery. He has been flat awful as UVA's coach. Point is, they will in fact hire a plan B guy.

it's almost certainly not a smokescreen from MSU

it's almost certainly a "leak" from Elliott's agent

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

Tony Elliott moves into a neighborhood downwind from a cow barn and complains about the smell.

A decade on TKP and it's been time well spent.

YES!! And complains to the epa when he sees cows drinking from a creek!!

He said give to me Roscoe

Corollary - Tony Elliott moves into a house upwind of a cow barn, and the farm complains about the smell.

A decade on TKP and it's been time well spent.

Tony Elliot thinks he's famous for a cereal advertisement.

This is going to be great for the ACC.

Also, he says "They're GREAT!" about UVa.

When Tony Elliott plays tennis, he hits slice backhands exclusively.

Besides himself, do you think anyone else is proud of Tony Elliott?

Tony Elliott serves KFC for Thanksgiving dinner, but puts it in a pan in the oven so people will think he cooked it himself.

Tony Elliott wants his mom to hate him.

Tony Elliott has a quarterback who thinks that beating a 5-6 Tech Team will mean they are "Bak!"

via GIPHY

Tony Elliott's QB is named after a bacteria typically found in dog feces

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Tony Elliott thought he was recruiting a qb named Tony Colander. He converted to pastafarianism to convince the player and family to commit to UVA.

He then learned correct name and the dog fecal bacterial thing and has since converted to dog shit.

Tony Elliot takes 5-6 hours to play 18 and doesn't let anyone play through. He likes to take extra attempts off the tee if he's not extremely happy with his shot

"The Big Ten is always using excuses to cancel games with us. First Wisconsin. Then Wisconsin. After that, Wisconsin. The subsequent cancellation with Wisconsin comes to mind too. Now Penn State. What's next? Wisconsin?" -HorseOnATreadmill

Tony Elliot coaches a bunch of total douches. There was a time, say maybe Watson, Lawrence years, that i wanted him to be our coach. Thank God that didnt happen. He belongs to the Douche now

I hate rude behavior in a man. Won't tolerate it.

one click shows Wagoneer's been around TKP for 7 years. Sheesh. Everyone take a nap, have a snickers or something.

Tony Elliott's quarterback was kicked off the lacrosse team for being too much of a douche.

When Tony Elliot took his family to Europe he had to call the concierge to ask why the water fountain in his room was so low to the ground. The hotel staff explained it wasn't a fountain and was not for drinking and that it replaces toilet paper. Tony then said "ah I got it, so ehat is this toilet paper you speak of"

Tony Elliott thinks the best way to cook steak is boiling it with no seasoning.

"GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM LITTLE BROTHER, THE CUP IS COMIN’ ON HOME!”

So you also watch Josh and his momma waste food on tiktok?

I've not seen that before but I'm not surprised it's a thing lol

"GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM LITTLE BROTHER, THE CUP IS COMIN’ ON HOME!”

Tony Elliot anagrams to: I was so desperate for a head coaching gig I signed on at loluva

uva - the taint of the ACC
Callused perineum is a symptom of being a uva fan

Tony Epcot thinks it's perfectly normal to have two first names.

My wife takes the kids and leaves the house while I watch my Hokie games.........nuff said

Tony Elliot thinks James Gayle doesn't know the first thing about what a rivalry means

Never Forget #1 Overall Seed UVA 54, #64 UMBC 74

"Nooooooooooo!"
~What happened?
"James Franklin to Virginia Tech...."
~Fuck me......*sigh*
"Oh my God.... They're gonna take all our recruits... like WTF bro...."
~*squints eyes in disbelief*

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

Tony Elliott anagrams to Little Toony

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

It also anagrams to

Tilt to Lonely

Rob Peterson
VTCC
Charlie/Hotel Company
Class of 1999

Tony Elliott named his lizard Tiny Elliott.

Tony Elliott goes around telling people "They said you sound like an owl" because it's the only way he can get them to talk about hoos.

I'm here for the memes, I just stay for the football.

Toni Ellios thinks he is a better culture fit for LOL than Pry is at VT.

Sometimes we live no particular way but our own

Toni Ellios is an unhinged tin of rancid tomahtos.

Sometimes we live no particular way but our own

Tony Elliott is the Dean Wormer to Colandrea's Douglas Niedermeyer! (So here's hoping the Hokiebird throws up on him!

Wouldn't mind seeing this happen to Colandrea either!

From the 2018 VT-uva game-"This is when LEGENDS are made!"

Tony Elliott serves PB&J for Thanksgiving.

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

Tony Elliott puts ketchup, mustard, and relish on his well done steak

Tony Elliot parks in the "expectant mothers" parking spaces at the mall and when confronted about it he goes on a tirade about how the pregnancy is just as hard on the men and they deserve the same perks as the pregnant women

Onward and upward

Tony Elliot claims that everyone is "a little bit pregnant", so he's entitled to park there.

Tony Elliott eats 90% of his meal then tells the waitress they messed it up so he ain't gonna pay for it.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Tony Elliot vapes on the plane and claims it's not smoking and he's not bothering anyone

Onward and upward

Tony Elliot vapes on the plane and claims it's not smoking and he's not bothering anyone

Could have stopped here, honestly

Onward and upward

Tony Elliot runs all of his meetings 10-15 minutes longer than scheduled. And then gets angry when anyone has to go.

Tony Elliot loves starting off his meetings with the phrase, "to piggyback off of our previous meeting...."

Never Forget #1 Overall Seed UVA 54, #64 UMBC 74

Tony Elliot holds hour long mandatory meetings at 5pm on Fridays to communicate information that a simple email could convey.

By definition, all of Tony Elliott's emails are simple.

Ugh...triggered....I have a Tony Elliott in my leadership chain. I have "had other things come up" so many times.

Rob Peterson
VTCC
Charlie/Hotel Company
Class of 1999

Tony Elliott uses 'scheduled send" so people will think he's working at 2330. But he gets upset when the recipient hasn't responded when he checks in the morning.

Tony Elliott reuses toilet paper.

His hand is his toilet paper

uva - the taint of the ACC
Callused perineum is a symptom of being a uva fan

And then he accuses the other guy of being disrespectful when he refuses to shake hands.

Ut Prosim Ad Dei Gloriam

Tony Elliott thinks an open DRC-Rwanda war would be no big deal because both sides have a great track record on human rights.

Tony Elliott puts a 12x Vortex scope on a Hi-Point .357.

Tony Elliott parks his squatted Audi sedan across four parking spaces so it won't get door dings from other people's proletarian cars

Tony Elliott tells his kids that on airplanes it's OK to watch movies or play games on their phones without earpods/headphones, and that they can turn up the volume until there's a little distortion.

He also lets his kids ride in main, while he rides in First Class.

Tony Elliott slows down at a green light because it's "stale and might turn red."

21st century QBs Undefeated vs UVA:
MV7, MV5, LT3, Grant Wells, Braxton Burmeister, Ryan Willis, Josh Jackson, Jerod Evans, Michael Brewer, Tyrod Taylor, Sean Glennon, and Grant Noel. That's right, UVA. You couldn't beat Grant Noel.

Omg I HATE this!! STOP ANTICIPATING THE RED LIGHT PEOPLE THAT'S WHAT THE YELLOW LIGHT IS FOR!!!!

*fuming* 🤬🤬

"The Big Ten is always using excuses to cancel games with us. First Wisconsin. Then Wisconsin. After that, Wisconsin. The subsequent cancellation with Wisconsin comes to mind too. Now Penn State. What's next? Wisconsin?" -HorseOnATreadmill

Tony Elliott pees in the tank of the toilet.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Tony Elliot doesn't use Slack because he thinks it's for lazy people.

Tony Elliot thinks Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Porky Pig and Foghorn Leghorn aren't funny.

Recovering scientist working in business consulting

Never Forget #1 Overall Seed UVA 54, #64 UMBC 74

Tony Elliott puts ketchup on his mint chocolate chip ice cream.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Tony Elliott roots for Boris when watching Rocky & Bullwinkle.

Tony Elliott thinks Dudley Do-Right was the most enlightened thinker of his time.

21st century QBs Undefeated vs UVA:
MV7, MV5, LT3, Grant Wells, Braxton Burmeister, Ryan Willis, Josh Jackson, Jerod Evans, Michael Brewer, Tyrod Taylor, Sean Glennon, and Grant Noel. That's right, UVA. You couldn't beat Grant Noel.

Tony Elliott baked a nice Tofurkey yesterday.

Plan for the worst and hope for the best, not the other way around.

Toby Elliott hassles employees at Walmart on Thanksgiving.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Tony Elliott calls IT departments to tell them to block TheKeyPlay.