Top 10 Things Only LOLUVA Is Proud Of

So this showed up on my news feed today.

They make our jokes for us.

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I'm sorry, I stopped reading seriously after "TJ being God" thing and just lost it at their "seriousness of Honor Code."

True Hokies STICK IT IN!!!

STICK IT IN Army of Virginia Tech

Fosterball

I'll give him credit for the Constitution, but stop short of god-status

The Dude Abides

I think you have Jefferson and Madison confused. Jefferson was in Europe serving as the US' Minister to France during the Constitutional Convention.

Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence, not the Constitution (or the Articles of Confederation). Those Founding Fathers will really get after you.

"Nope, launch him into the sun and fart on him on the way up"
-gobble gobble chumps

"11-0, bro"
-Hunter Carpenter (probably)

Well damn; that looks bad. Not only am I a history major, but I live in Virginia. I dropped the ball big time on that one. This is what a beach week will do to your brain, throw in an extra holiday and this is the result. Thanks for taking me down a peg.

The Dude Abides

What a bunch of DOUSHBAGS!!!!! "#1 If these words make no sense to you then leave" . GLADLY !!

georgebd

Whaddyaknow, that's the "Ten Things Wahoos Do Best."

True Hokies STICK IT IN!!!

STICK IT IN Army of Virginia Tech

Fosterball

The Bow Tie Cult that is LOLUVa.

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

Okay I honestly look at the whole page thinking this was a parody article.

Only to find out it was not. Seriously, where does LOLUVa get these kind of people for students?

There's always a lighthouse. There's always a man. There's always a city.

I'm just happy they have a place to congregate and keep to themselves. You know, on the Grounds.

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

It 100% sounds like a parody article. It includes all the favorite UVA stereotypes and acts as if theyre ultra proud of them. The tone of the whole thing sounds kinda sarcastic and exaggerated too.

And yet, it appears to be for real haha

Virginia Tech School of Architecture Class of 2014
Fan of Hokies, Ravens, NY Giants, Orioles

Regardless of if it is a parody or not, all of my UVA friends are sharing this with pride. Comedy reigns!

This wasn't a spoof article taking a jab at UVA?????

mb

"I'm too drunk to taste this chicken" - Colonel Sanders via Ricky Bobby

So did Bender

I said that!

True Hokies STICK IT IN!!!

STICK IT IN Army of Virginia Tech

Fosterball

I was thinking it was a parody article too!

#11 : public drunkenness

Allen Ox

#12: trying to kick cars while drunk in public

@historyhokie.bsky.social

#13: clock management

Actually, I read a lot of it, including the links on hair & apparel. They were... enlightening. I did find one note that rung false for me. A recommendation that any hoo male should include denim shorts in his wardrobe seems completely wrong to me. I thought they had a deathly aversion to 'jorts' and an obsession with all things khaki. I also found it interesting that there is a 'code' for female apparel based on ethnicity. Yep, if you're African American or International (read - Asian), your wardrobe should differ from that of 'the white girls'. Pretty interesting, and pretty telling.

You're right - the denim thing would be a little too WVU bandwagon fan. The site was created in 1997, so it is slightly outdated on some topics

The passe racism in that article is really amusing if it weren't so darned accurate.

We may be pushed toward a variety of different identities: politically involved students (a.k.a. "politicos," or "Lawnies"), members of the Greek system ("frat boys"), members of an ethnic community (represented by the VSA, the BSA, the ASU, and countless other organizations), athletes, or any number of different identities.

racist
.
Isn't defining your identity by ethnicity something we've been working AGAINST not TOWARDS? Wahoo-waa y'all...

**EDIT** yes, I know this was written in 1997. The point stands.

There's a Thomas Jefferson joke in there somewhere..........I know it.

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

It seems so appropriate that it was written by a girl. And like someone above, I expected it to contain some amount of humor. It did not. Instead, it oozed with the same condescension and pretense that absorbs every person I've ever known that attends UVa. I'm not disappointed by this, I've just come to accept it as a fact of life. The only humorous part of this whole thing is that they're PROUD of it. Colin Cowherd was right.

Colin Cowherd was right.

That's all the excuse that I need...

Part 2

A decade on TKP and it's been time well spent.

UVa football? Guffaw!!!

ChicagoHokie

That was one of the single greatest things I've ever heard in my entire life...
I'd rather be sophisticated than a redneck from Virginia Tech lol priceless

I'd rather win football games weenie.

These classic Cowherd rants always get a leg from me!

Take the shortest route to the ball and arrive in bad humor.

Pre-gaming as a requirement? How original for college students to claim to pregame everything they attend.

Live for 32. Ut Prosim. Let's Go, Hokies.

If you read one of the articles on our section of that site, the advice to freshmen includes to not pregame so hard you miss the party.

Live for 32. Ut Prosim. Let's Go, Hokies.

This reminds me of a nauseating article that ran in their student newspaper that went on and on about how UVa was the greatest environment of all time from their serpentine walls to their grounds to the rotunda to their bowties at games.

It was so pathetic it was a parody of itself without the author even realizing.

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin

Top Ten Things for VT to be Proud of (concerning the Hoos):

1. 2004, 24-10
2. 2005, 52-14
3. 2006, 17-0
4. 2007, 33-21
5. 2008, 17-14
6. 2009, 42-13
7. 2010, 37-7
8. 2011, 38-0 (bro)
9. 2012, 17-14
10. 2013, 16-6 (Decade of Dominance)

"Exit light..."

I thought the #1 thing to be proud of was being a Hokie. The other 9 things just fall in place after that badassness.

"I'm too drunk to taste this chicken" - Colonel Sanders via Ricky Bobby

True enough, but the whole "Top Ten" thing just seemed to write itself here.

"Exit light..."

Saved it for you before I ruined it with another TL:

This may be an old article, but I honestly can't tell if it's meant to be satire or if they really think this way. Either way, worth the read and somewhat related to that listed above.

I present to you, "In defense of douchery."

http://www.cavalierdaily.com/article/2009/09/in-defense-of-douchery/

God, hating them is so easy when they give us this kind of material.

I just...wat?

wat

This pic makes me chuckle every time.

n a final crack at blasphemy, GQ suggested our football fans are soft and just sit around drinking mint juleps in the stands. This falsity barely merits a retort. Mint juleps are far too difficult to make during a game; students would clearly choose bourbon, peach schnapps or a nice chardonnay instead.

Soft, you say... Chardonnay, you say... Something being far too difficult, you say...

That sounds about right.

I read that article and it made my brain hurt. I can't conceive of how someone could write that in seriousness and actually be proud to be that stupid.

"I'm too drunk to taste this chicken" - Colonel Sanders via Ricky Bobby

That is the most the self-important, detached from reality, insecure, materialistic, shallow, insipid, gleefully obnoxious, needlessly wordy, pseudo philosophical display of unearned arrogance that a child who has never been without or earned a penny on their own and their thesaurus have ever vomited onto a page. Maybe they should go private so they wont be burdened by the tax dollars from all the weak unwashed jealous masses. I kinda wish I hadnt read that.

Love the avi by the way HokieMiner.

"That kid you're talking to right there, I think he played his nuts off! And you can quote me on that shit!" -Bud Foster

It's definitely satire.

At least the UVA students/grads commenting are saying how terrible this list is too. I knew a handful of UVA students that were not like this at all. In fact I went to a UVA/Tech wedding a couple weekends ago and have talked with the groom (UVA alum) plenty of times about the snobby/pretentious vibe his school gives off. He was in complete agreement with me and, aside from being a from an affluent background and dressing as such, does not in any way agree with the attitude the general student body exudes.

They're so awful. I have nothing else to add.

I went to Charlottesville to watch us complete our decade of dominance. As we were walking through the parking lots to the stadium, we passed a group of guys tailgating. Guess what they had on their table...an effing candelabra. Not just for a candlestick either...a fully ornamental centerpiece!

https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSaCDSFrIkIG8oXHyR8kvai-xKE0CZQDTWClazlX6McNZvcIOyJ

Who does that?!?

I've never seen, nor heard, of the word candelabra - thought it was a bra for candles.

In a related story, HBO recently made a biopic about Liberace called "Behind the Candelabra."

Guys tailgating with candelabra..... Liberace documentary.....
coincidence i think not! original gif ;) on Twitpic

I'm sitting at my cubicle trying not to die laughing. Makes me want to show this to my UVA coworker SO bad...

"The Big Ten is always using excuses to cancel games with us. First Wisconsin. Then Wisconsin. After that, Wisconsin. The subsequent cancellation with Wisconsin comes to mind too. Now Penn State. What's next? Wisconsin?" -HorseOnATreadmill

DO IT!

True Hokies STICK IT IN!!!

STICK IT IN Army of Virginia Tech

Fosterball

what in the hell.....

tyrod did it mikey! tyrod did it!

I saw that in Chapel Hill one time. We tailgated (I was with a friend who was a Heel fan & his family) right next to an older (50's) couple who actually set up a white linen tablecloth and put out a plate of cheeses & fruit on china. They drank white wine & had a 3-candle candlelabra. This was an afternoon game & they actually lit the candles. They drove a Volvo, BTW. Bottom line? - UNC fans are just as arrogant as hoos, the difference is that they win more in sports.

Also, the way the refer to it as "first/second/etc. year" instead of freshman, sophomore, etc. just makes me want to punch someone in the face! Why do they TRY to be as pretentious as possible?!

"The Big Ten is always using excuses to cancel games with us. First Wisconsin. Then Wisconsin. After that, Wisconsin. The subsequent cancellation with Wisconsin comes to mind too. Now Penn State. What's next? Wisconsin?" -HorseOnATreadmill

Kinda like the people who say their child is 39 months old instead of just responding with 3?

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

Yep at that point you just want to tell the parents to get over themselves. You now have a toddler, not a newborn.

"The Big Ten is always using excuses to cancel games with us. First Wisconsin. Then Wisconsin. After that, Wisconsin. The subsequent cancellation with Wisconsin comes to mind too. Now Penn State. What's next? Wisconsin?" -HorseOnATreadmill

Because it's just easier for them to count the years instead of actually having to remember the different years...

Those guys may sit with their marble columns protruding from their bums, smug-looking down their noses as they straighten their bowties, observing yet another loss.

I know, what they don't- life is for living.

I understand that the most important tool in the universe is a towel and all that implies. Always know where your towel is.

The goal of life, to fly down the road on 2 wheels, leading a cloud of dust, waving to multitude of friends, experiencing it all, to arrive at the end; out of breath, skidding in sideways, grinning, "Wow, what a ride."

Go Hokies. Let's teach them how to live.

This is going to be great for the ACC.

@AMB4VT

Great minds...
I always keep a towel and a zip lock bag in my Jeep...

Douglas Adams will always receive a turkey leg.

A decade on TKP and it's been time well spent.

Could have saved time and space by saying "We are cool because we don't care nobody else thinks we are cool, right?"

Plus nobody needs 10 reasons on why Hokies are superior to Wahoos.

#1: 38-0 BRO

VTMidge

I think I can come up with a more accurate top ten list of what Wahoos are proud of:

10. Themselves
9. Themselves
8. Themselves
7. Themselves
6. Themselves
5. Themselves
4. Themselves
3. Thomas Jefferson
2. Themselves
1. Themselves

"Nope, launch him into the sun and fart on him on the way up"
-gobble gobble chumps

"11-0, bro"
-Hunter Carpenter (probably)

This should be required reading for all LOLUVA recruits. If they still want to go after reading this I don't want them to come to VT.

Sometimes we live no particular way but our own

I think Colin Cowherd said it best...

"People who like to brag about how smart they are, are never as smart as they claim."

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin

uva handoff

This is going to be great for the ACC.

LOLUVA would fumble this handoff...

But would they call timeout?

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

"Exit light..."

God I hate UVA so fucking much

Oh, and it's not unique for college kids to lie about their age so they can drink Carruthers.

"That kid you're talking to right there, I think he played his nuts off! And you can quote me on that shit!" -Bud Foster

I just saw this here...had posted it on the off topic board.

My favorite part was:

#4 "All UVa students are 21 years of age, especially when asked at the door" immediately followed by

#3 "Don't Lie, Cheat, or Steal. The Honor Code is the most sacred pledge at UVa"

Yeah, based on the girl's post - hoos will pass a penny on the sidewalk because their honor denies them the privilege of picking it up, yet they'll lie their tails off to get in to drink 25 cent beers.

but....

oh, that's right, they think Zima is beer.

Every time I read something related to #3, I remember that huge plagiarism sting that took place there in the mid 90s.

And I laugh heartily.

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

Um, just wondering . . . did anyone else apply there? I'm ashamed to admit it, but I did. In-state tuition, an engineering program (sort of), needed a backup school -- what can I say? I was young and misguided. THEN -- they actually accepted me before Tech did, so for a nightmarish week or so, they seemed to be -- gulp -- my only option. It was horrible. But then, oh happy day, Tech accepted me, and I experienced the true joy of rejecting LOLUVA. And lived happily ever after, sigh . . .

"Tajh Boyd over the middle . . . and it's caught for an interception! Michael Cole, lying flat on his back, ARE YOU KIDDING???"

I applied there, VT, and Santa Clara. Got into all three, chose Tech because of the strength of the engineering program.

I applied Early Decision to Tech. I received my acceptance the week my UVA application was due. At that point I tossed out everything for the UVA application since I knew where I was headed.

No shame at all in being accepted into UVa. It's a great academic school. The trick would be in attending without actually turning into a pretentious snob. As for being young & misguided at that time? We've all been there.

This is true. I know a *few* people who made it out of there normal and well-adjusted. A very few, but a few nonetheless.

"We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior" Stephen M.R. Covey

โ€œWhen life knocks you down plan to land on your back, because if you can look up, you can get up, if you fall flat on your face it can kill your spiritโ€ David Wilson

About 100 people a year go to UVA from my high school, I think my year it was around 130. Many maintained themselves through their time there, a few changed in unforgivable ways.

Like your cousin, HorseInABowtie?

shame

I bet those family reunions are just a blast with him.

And his Aunt, HorseInADress...ee

VHokie

And, of course, the crazy uncle, HorseInAHurricane

"We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior" Stephen M.R. Covey

โ€œWhen life knocks you down plan to land on your back, because if you can look up, you can get up, if you fall flat on your face it can kill your spiritโ€ David Wilson

All of the above.

That's easily accomplished:

http://www.swcenter.edu/uva/

but VT has a program there as well, so there isn't really a reason to take the UVA option.

I applied and got wait listed there. Accepted to JMU and VT. I'd say I made the right decision.

"We were at the pinnacle, and we did it for years," Foster says. He pauses, nods, takes a deep breath. "And I did it with the best guy in the business."

See, that's what makes it better. You pulled a "I choose the University of Virginia...Tech." Makes it better when they accept you and you slam the door in their face...or is that just me?

My dad went to grad school there, so I lived the first three years of my life in campus grad housing. After that moved nearby to Stuarts Draft, so he took me to see Sampson play basketball and multiple FB games when they were pretty good. Even crashed parties there as a senior in high school. Applied to both and was accepted to both. Fortunately I spent one Saturday night visiting some VT freshman friends in O'Shag and found out where I belonged.

Sometimes we live no particular way but our own

Never applied there. I applied to Tech, Georgia Tech, Maryland, and ODU and got accepted into all four.

However, I did have a UVA sweatshirt in HS that someone gave me for Christmas... and I'm deeply, deeply ashamed to admit that I wore it during my freshman year... of HS, of course.

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

No. Emphatically. Everyone who applied there from my graduating class was a douchebag. I had absolutely no desire to. I applied to Tech, ODU, GMU, JMU, and Virginia Weslyan and got into all of them. Definitely made the right choice, go Hokies!

I applied to Tech, E&H (so I can relate to French in some aspects....still sorry about Newsome, big guy) and USCw (because Song Girls). I never heard from USC, which was a good thing. I can't imagine trying to make my way across country in 1979 in a 69 Chevy station wagon.

Take the shortest route to the ball and arrive in bad humor.

VT was my first and only choice. Got in early decision. I hate UVA.

You and me both. And applying early decision was also fantastic, as I already knew my college plans while everyone else was still freaking out about whether they got in or not.

There's always a lighthouse. There's always a man. There's always a city.

I'm right there with both of you. Didnt apply anywhere else. The thought of never going to VT terrifies me... *shivers*

"The Big Ten is always using excuses to cancel games with us. First Wisconsin. Then Wisconsin. After that, Wisconsin. The subsequent cancellation with Wisconsin comes to mind too. Now Penn State. What's next? Wisconsin?" -HorseOnATreadmill

Every time I read this thread title my brain rearranges it to "The only 10 thing loluva is proud of" and it makes me giggle.

giggle

A decade on TKP and it's been time well spent.

Soft fanbase....
ee

VHokie

Where did you find the gif of Turtle?

So, if you haven't had a chance to check out Drunk History, there is one on John Adams versus Thomas Jefferson. Some good stuff in that one.
"If you elect Jefferson, you're going to get murder and incest."

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

They have to reflect on two things everyday of their sorry existence...

They gotta all ask...

โ€œMaybe it meant something. Maybe not, in the long run, but no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time and the world. Whatever it meant.โ€ โ€• Hunter S. Thompson