Urban Meyer took your mother to a nice seafood dinner and never called her afterwards

He also talks during your backswing and takes candy from babies.

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Comments

Well then he doesn't sound like a very nice person.

I penalize him 2 snaps and a booty shake

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view/132268/men-on-film-o.gif

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin

DOROTHY MANTOOTH IS A SAINT

Talks during my backswing?!!!!

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

He also gives out toothpaste at Halloween.

Urban Meyer looks both ways when crossing Driffield Drive

And he says Va-Tech.

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

Saying "Vah-Tech" is punishable by public caning in Singapore.

Leonard. Duh.

Initially read this as "pubic caning" oops.

he's says the university of vah-tech, brah

I will never understand people's issue with this. it rolls off the tongue easily, and Va, is short for Virginia. I wonder how Cal Tech people feel.

🦃 🦃 🦃

When I started at VT, I was told by upperclassmen that "Vah Tech" started out among the Hoos, using a comically thick Southern drawl to imply that we were nothing but backwoods rednecks while they were somehow intellectually superior. I can't stand when people say it because it's so ingrained in me. I also think that if ESPN says it, they should be required to call GT "Gah Tech."

I have no objection really to seeing "VA Tech" on screen (scores, etc) because you're right, VA is the official abbreviation for Virginia. In my mind, VA = Virginia.

"Exit light..."

Gah Tech isn't phonetically pleasing. I like Mah Tech though. Lah Tech isn't bad either. I wouldn't be opposed to Fla State either.

🦃 🦃 🦃

I will say this... I don't call my fraternity a frat. I wouldn't call a sorority a sore. And I definitely wouldn't call my country a ..............
It's Virginia Tech to me.

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

Go Hokies.

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

and has a cola with it.

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

We're from Ohio.. It's a Pop. Lol

Buckeye born, and Buckeye bred.. Buckeye, until the day I'm dead.

...and then he eats it with a fork and knife.

Leonard. Duh.

downvote! ketchup belongs on the dog, not the burger!

Hey now...Hey HEY!

Let's not forget in this crazy world just who the enemy is.

evilUrban

I dont understand this debate. Ketchup is delicious on both.

"That kid you're talking to right there, I think he played his nuts off! And you can quote me on that shit!" -Bud Foster

Urban Meyer eats his pizza with a fork and knife as well

george

HOKIE HOKIE HOKIE HI
'14 grad

Urban Meyer uses a Shake-Weight.

all i could think about haha

z

twitter @smithey_daniel
head scout BSP scouting specializing in north florida/ southern GA highschool football scouting

Urban Meyer pisses excellence in the morning...except when he plays VT he shits his pants

"I'm high on Juice and ready to stick it in!" Whit Babcock

Urban Meyer takes your lunch out of the office fridge even though your name is on it

"The Big Ten is always using excuses to cancel games with us. First Wisconsin. Then Wisconsin. After that, Wisconsin. The subsequent cancellation with Wisconsin comes to mind too. Now Penn State. What's next? Wisconsin?" -HorseOnATreadmill

Funny it actually happened

Urban Meyer lunch thief

"I'm high on Juice and ready to stick it in!" Whit Babcock

Yeah, but Dadi & Maddy have graduated from Triple T's program:

don't steal

Here comes the pain train!

CHOO! CHOO!

@CraigThompsonVT

A new season...new hope

Urban Meyer drives the speed limit in the left lane.

With the blinker on

Left turn signal of course.

Hazards actually.

Urban Meyer thinks Sam Rogers is a myth.

Fortune Favors the Bold

Urban Meyer saw me scissor kick Angela Lansbury.

Urban Meyer drinks scotch and doesn't give you credit

Urban Meyer posted on this site about AJ McCarron last year and doesn't get the irony

Urban Meyer thinks "An Virginia Tech" is a good comeback.

He gives buckeyes to baby seals.

And he personally locked half of the restrooms simply because he was heavily invested in Igloo and Coleman.

And he personally locked half of the restrooms simply because he was heavily invested in Igloo and Coleman.

Wins.

Hey Urban! Where'd you get your coaching skills from? The.....toilet store?

Even the guy that can't THINK said something!!

February..'96...the steak: ribeye, the whiskey:Lagavulin 16, the lady next to me: a bit**.....

Urban Meyer adamantly insists Royal Tenenbaums is hilarious and that you just don't get it.

I saw that movie in theaters and loved it.

bbb

Well... I've never heard of this movie, but Rotten Tomatoes says that 81% of critics and 89% of the audience liked it, so...

No way. After watching it, I sat there kinda stunned, wondering what on earth it was that I just saw. Then, I smiled, was just happy to have seen it, and walked out of the theater. Haven't seen it since, but it was a good movie.

However, Big Lebowski was a terrible movie. Just putting that out there. I heard Urban Meyer liked it.

"Exit light..."

Big Lebowski a terrible movie? What the hell are they putting in your oats?

If you play it, they will win.

"How the ass pocket will be used, I do not know. Alls I know is, the ass pocket will be used." -The BoD

I'm pretty sure Urban Meyer is the kind of punk what goes around pissing on other dudes rugs.

And I'm not too sure about HOAT anymore.

I think HOAT is out of his element.

If you play it, they will win.

"How the ass pocket will be used, I do not know. Alls I know is, the ass pocket will be used." -The BoD

Maybe. I had tried to watch it many years ago and only made it through a scene or two before I couldn't take it anymore. Recently, it was on TV so I decided to give it another shot and realized I should have gone with my first impression. I watched the whole thing and found it thoroughly un-enjoy-able.

So, The Men Who Stare at Goats...is that your speed HOAT?

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

I thought that movie looked interesting and silly, but haven't seen it

thats blasphemy!!!

“I hope that they’re not going to have big eyes and pee down their legs so to speak,” -- Bud Foster

That's the only movie I ever fell asleep watching.

And considering the movies I've seen, that's saying something.

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

Urban Meyer was the secret mastermind behind the BCS.

Urban Meyer reads The Sabre

Fortune Favors the Bold

How? I can't even figure that impenetrable fortress out.

Urban Meyer denies pussy touchdowns

"I'm high on Juice and ready to stick it in!" Whit Babcock

BLASPHEMY!

BLASPHEMY

We better fully dip our dork magic.

Urban Meyer called the shit "poo"

Urban Meyer drinks milk straight out of the bottle, and then puts it back in the fridge

Urban Meyer always uses the last of the coffee, but never refills the pot

Urban Meyer never courtesy flushes. Not even once.

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin

Urban Meyer is the reason that the Obamacare online enrollment system began with major problems.

Urban Meyer caused the Northeast Blackout of 2003

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin

Urban Meyer isn't fully dipped

Urban Meyer doesn't believe in dork magic.

side note: if TKP is dork magic, can eleven warriors be elven warriors??

Urban Meyer once convinced Bryan Stinespring to "Let Glennon air it out" in the second half against Georgia.

He also replaced Curt Newsome's "Stop Smoking!" self-hypnosis cassettes with a dubbed-over set that just kept repeating "a Tight End can fill every role on the offensive line" and "the minimum grade you can give an O-lineman is 80 percent".

Urban Meyer convinced Frank to hire Curt Newsome as OL coach

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin

Urban Meyer told Stinespring that draw plays are perfect on 3rd and long.

A decade on TKP and it's been time well spent.

Urban Meyer thinks Morganton is a quaint and friendly place with good people.

Urban Meyer litters on the Blue Ridge Parkway.

A decade on TKP and it's been time well spent.

Urban Meyer wears a straw hat and overalls for Halloween and tells everyone he's "Rural Meyer"

That made me smile.

i seriously wouldn't put this past him

Gavrilo Princip was framed. It was Urban Meyer's great grandfather, Ubel Meyer, who really shot Archduke Franz Ferdinand after an argument over which made a better meal: Turkey Legs, or buckeye schnitzel.

Ubel wasn't a Nazi. He was just an asshole.

umm

HOKIE HOKIE HOKIE HI
'14 grad

Actually, nobody was a Nazi in 1914. The German Nazi party was formed 5 years after Ferdinand was shot.

Wow.

Fact checked for a joke set a century ago.

I just don't think"Freikorps" or "DAP party member" has quite the same hook, but YMMV.

This was where it broke down for me too. I want my insane history jokes to be as factually accurate as possible.

Urban Meyer wears jorts.

"Exit light..."

I'm pretty sure you have to interview in jorts if you want to coach at Florida.

Urban Meyer doesn't belong to #TeamCake or #TeamPie; he hates dessert.

@CraigThompsonVT

He's on #TeamKale

More like #TeamPapaJohns

Urban Meyer resells his burner cell phones after he uses all the minutes on them.

Tweedy can run like a dadgum antelope or whatever. I like to use scalded dog. Do antelopes lumber? Cheetah, OK. He runs like a cheetah. He's fast. - Bud Foster

Urban Meyer likes his own Facebook posts

"We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior" Stephen M.R. Covey

“When life knocks you down plan to land on your back, because if you can look up, you can get up, if you fall flat on your face it can kill your spirit” David Wilson

Urban Meyer lies about quitting his job to be more of a family man.

Urban Meyer doesn't pick his spilled ice cubes up off the kitchen floor, and hopes that you step in the puddle.. IN.YOUR.SOCKS

Urban Meyer tells people they have a case of the Mondays

"We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior" Stephen M.R. Covey

“When life knocks you down plan to land on your back, because if you can look up, you can get up, if you fall flat on your face it can kill your spirit” David Wilson

Urban Meyer convinced George Lucas that Greedo shot first.

Urban Meyer created Jar-Jar AND did the voice.

A decade on TKP and it's been time well spent.

Urban Meyer then cast Hayden Christensen in the role of Annakin.

"That kid you're talking to right there, I think he played his nuts off! And you can quote me on that shit!" -Bud Foster

Urban Meyer wears pleated khakis and tucks his shirt into his underwear

Urban Meyer farted

Fortune Favors the Bold

...and then blamed it on you.

"Exit light..."

And he blamed David Wilson!

A decade on TKP and it's been time well spent.

Urban Meyer empties his RV's septic tank into the sewer when the shitter is full.

Urban Meyer's RV:

flaminpoocaddy

oh yea

February..'96...the steak: ribeye, the whiskey:Lagavulin 16, the lady next to me: a bit**.....

Urban Meyer ask, "so how about this weather? " when it's 106 degrees outside.

Urban Meyer killed Kenny.

Urban Meyer puts ketchup on his steak.

Urban Meyer reported his Florida home's neighbor for allowing his kid to run a lemonade stand.

Urban Meyer re-gifts.

Urban Meyer is a WVU fan.

Urban Meyer lives in the suburbs.

21st century QBs Undefeated vs UVA:
MV7, MV5, LT3, Grant Wells, Braxton Burmeister, Ryan Willis, Josh Jackson, Jerod Evans, Michael Brewer, Tyrod Taylor, Sean Glennon, and Grant Noel. That's right, UVA. You couldn't beat Grant Noel.

Urban Meyer drinks pumpkin spice lattes on posts them on Instagram

I just sit on my couch and b*tch. - HokieChemE2016

Urban Meyer throws paper airplanes during games.

A decade on TKP and it's been time well spent.

Urban Meyer takes the last piece of pie

exit light

... figures. He WOULD choose pie over delicious delicious cake.

He also only eats two bites and throws the rest away

exit light

Urban Meyer wears Bud Foster underroos

"We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior" Stephen M.R. Covey

“When life knocks you down plan to land on your back, because if you can look up, you can get up, if you fall flat on your face it can kill your spirit” David Wilson

Cool it with the personal attacks, guys. Men who think Bud Foster should take the UVA job already have a low self esteem.

___

-What we do is, if we need that extra push, you know what we do? -Put it up to fully dipped? -Fully dipped. Exactly. It's dork magic.

Urban Meyer wont shut the f@#k up about how good quinoa is.

Frank Beamer doesn't like what Urban Meyer is about.

Not the bagman VT deserves, but the bagman VT needs right now.

Frank Beamer thinks you'll get after Urban Meyer

Urban Meyer thinks Dane Cook is funny.

Not the bagman VT deserves, but the bagman VT needs right now.

Urban Meyer never had sneakers for middle school gym. He only ever owned hard leather shoes with black heels.

Urban Meyer think Kendall Fuller is overrated.

Rip his freaking head off!

Urban Meyer actually respects what Dr. Phil has to say.

Urban Meyer only goes to Hooters for the wings.

Urban Meyer breaks the pay it forward chains when it gets to him.

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin

Urban Meyer thinks we lost to Michigan.

I love the tickle of Dickel in my belly

He was in the replay booth.

Urban Meyer cried when King Joffrey died.

Urban Meyer pulls his pants down when he pees at Urinals.

Urban Meyer pees sitting down.

We put the K in Kwality

Urban Meyer trolls TKP and randomly downvotes posts

"We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior" Stephen M.R. Covey

“When life knocks you down plan to land on your back, because if you can look up, you can get up, if you fall flat on your face it can kill your spirit” David Wilson

He's here

Well played, Urban, well played

"We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior" Stephen M.R. Covey

“When life knocks you down plan to land on your back, because if you can look up, you can get up, if you fall flat on your face it can kill your spirit” David Wilson

Urban Meyer watches porn on his computer at work and "forgets" to delete/clear his History.

True Hokies STICK IT IN!!!

STICK IT IN Army of Virginia Tech

Fosterball

I mean, he's the coach. Who's gonna deny his pussy touchdowns

HOKIE HOKIE HOKIE HI
'14 grad

Urban Meyer thinks this song is about him.

This is going to be great for the ACC.

Urban Meyer orders chicken tenders AT.EVERY.RESTAURANT.

Holy shit, IS MY THREE YEAR OLD URBAN MEYER?!?!?!

Get used to your life with Urban Meyer.

Urban Meyer double dips his chips

Urban Meyer has a "Keep Calm and Enjoy a Chai Tea Latte" mug.

We put the K in Kwality

Urban Meyer gets perms.

We put the K in Kwality

Urban Meyer tells you regardless and irregardless are the same words.

We put the K in Kwality

Urban Meyer never unloads the f*ck!ng dishwasher.

We put the K in Kwality

Is this the new "Tweet like Kanye"? I'm game. :)

Urban Meyer merges over two lanes without using his blinker. Not once.

Urban Meyer ignores every nomination he gets for the Ice Bucket Challenge. And then lies about having donated already.

VTCC '86 Delta Co., Peru Hokie, Former Naval Aviator, Former FBISA, Forever married to my VT87 girl. Go VT!

Urban Meyer was at UVA's spring game

And he had a darn nice time. Even had an extra zima at the tailgate (which was just some light finger foods on top of a folding table with a way too expensive disposable tablecloth from Michaels).

Urban Meyer says Ross and Rachel were on a break

“I like the donuts.” -Bud Foster

Urban Meyer thinks Enter Sandman started at Utah.

Urban Meyer thinks Texas is #DBU.

Urban Meyer thinks Cartoons Plural is our OL coach. And that he received extra benefits at the East/West game. And sold his jersey.

___

-What we do is, if we need that extra push, you know what we do? -Put it up to fully dipped? -Fully dipped. Exactly. It's dork magic.

Urban Meyer bought CML more timeouts.

True Hokies STICK IT IN!!!

STICK IT IN Army of Virginia Tech

Fosterball

Urban Meyer watches The View

Urban Meyer is a member of Oprah's Book Club.

Urban Meyer imports Zima and doesn't share. He likes it on ice.

This is going to be great for the ACC.

In his defense, Urban Meyer at least pays for his crab legs.

This is going to be great for the ACC.

Urban Meyer's car has Maryland plates.

in Fuller we trust

Urban Meyer still thinks its funny to amswer the phone by saying "wazzzuuuuuuuuuuuuuup"

Urban Meyer scheduled Virginia Tech during the Richmond race.

___

-What we do is, if we need that extra push, you know what we do? -Put it up to fully dipped? -Fully dipped. Exactly. It's dork magic.

Urban Meyer leaves opened soda cans in the fridge forever. When confronted, his excuse is "I only wanted a sip."

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

Urban Meyer stops talking when you enter the room, then starts talking again when you leave.

"Nope, launch him into the sun and fart on him on the way up"
-gobble gobble chumps

"11-0, bro"
-Hunter Carpenter (probably)