HATIN' ON - Mike London

...London Bridge is falling down...

CeeLo, Time Cop, Burger King employee of the month...whatever!

Lovin' on had mixed results (about the same as Hatin' On)...but who cares...It's Hate Week...and we Hate LOLUVA.

I say let's break the damn internet, Kim Kardashian style and Hate On!

Enjoy

ceelo london

DISCLAIMER: Forum topics may not have been written or edited by The Key Play staff.

Comments

Mike London unnecessarily uses the urinal or stall next to you.

"Hokie religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid." Han Solo

Worst yet, he asks you to take a timeout, as he has difficulty peeing with any distraction.

Rob Peterson
VTCC
Charlie/Hotel Company
Class of 1999

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

hi i'm mike london

and i'm painfully awkward mike london

Every second counts

wait, how do you tell them apart?!

Every second counts

See which ones calls a timeout first. The other one is the real one.

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

I like the warmth of human contact.

Did you know I used to be a cop?

MOAR!!! this is the key!!!

February..'96...the steak: ribeye, the whiskey:Lagavulin 16, the lady next to me: a bit**.....

BUT THAT'S MY NO ZONE!!!
(relevant video)

"Hokie religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid." Han Solo

Mike London sucks at coaching

#38-0

Mike London is awesome at coaching and should stay forever!!!

We put the K in Kwality

Thanks.

Did you know I used to be a cop?

Mike London calls timeout to ice his wife during foreplay.

"I liked you guys a lot better when everybody told you you were terrible." -Justin Fuente

.

H_O_K_I_E_S-HOKIES!

Proud Member Of The Key Play Community Since January 2012.

Twice

I read about it in Maxim magazine.

Just kidding...it was Cosmo.

Did you know I used to be a cop?

Mike London cuts in front of you in the fast lane on the interstate then drives 5 below the speed limit

"The Big Ten is always using excuses to cancel games with us. First Wisconsin. Then Wisconsin. After that, Wisconsin. The subsequent cancellation with Wisconsin comes to mind too. Now Penn State. What's next? Wisconsin?" -HorseOnATreadmill

Safety first...you know I used to be a cop, right?

Did you know I used to be a cop?

Mike London is the jerk that eats all the stuffing and pie(/cake for all you cake fans) at thanksgiving dinner.

Then why do you put it in the frig with your name on it? Seriously, thanks for letting me know it was from you.

Did you know I used to be a cop?

As a member of #TeamCake I van safely say it has no place at Thanksgiving dinner

#TEAMJELLOMOLDWITHVEGGIES, Bro!

Did you know I used to be a cop?

Hang on. *calls timeout*

Wait, wut?

Mike London has yet to discover the convenience of a fanny pack for storing gummy bears on the sidelines.

Class of '02. GO HOKIES!

Have you ever tried a cutoff, short-sleeve sweatshirt. I friend of mine used to wear them...think they look awesome.

Did you know I used to be a cop?

Tucked or un-tucked?

Class of '02. GO HOKIES!

Tucked into my khakis with a black belt and sneakers. Why? Is there another way?

Did you know I used to be a cop?

Mike London doesn't think taking candy from babies is easy...

but he tries anyway.

Leonard. Duh.

Sometimes they're sticky and smell funny.

Did you know I used to be a cop?

Best thing to happen to VT football since AL Groh was hired.

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin

You're a peach, hon!

Did you know I used to be a cop?

Really surprised you didn't go with this avi

http://www.virginia.edu/topnews/releases2001/images/police_badge.jpg

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin

I was a cop in Richmond. It's in Wikipedia.

Did you know I used to be a cop?

And he loves him some Wikipedia!
http://www.thekeyplay.com/comment/reply/8106/219493

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

.

H_O_K_I_E_S-HOKIES!

Proud Member Of The Key Play Community Since January 2012.

Best. Movie. Ever.

Also, big fan of Ron Cherry. Guy has never missed a call. Ever.

Did you know I used to be a cop?

I just sit on my couch and b*tch. - HokieChemE2016

Just because I like to be pretty.

Did you know I used to be a cop?

Mike London is just the worst.

And we're done here! Unless some fake Mike London type fellow wants to get in on this.

Bring it on. You know I used to be a cop, right?

Did you know I used to be a cop?

Mike London listens to Christmas music before Thanksgiving

On a side note, they had that shit playing in Walmart last night. Now don't get me wrong I love Christmas and Christmas music but at least wait till Thanksgiving day/Grey Thursday.

H_O_K_I_E_S-HOKIES!

Proud Member Of The Key Play Community Since January 2012.

Technically, I start listening in January...why wait to last minute.

My favorite song: I want hippopotamus for Christmas.

Did you know I used to be a cop?

Mike London does not wet his toothbrush.

Yeah...I already have saliva in my mouth. It's called time management...something I'm awesome at...

Did you know I used to be a cop?

I have been waiting for this week all year...

Mike London uses the word "moist" whenever possible, even if it's not really relevant to the discussion.

Mike London always leaves you hanging on a high-five.

Mike London accidentally triggered the fire alarm in his college dorm by microwaving popcorn. His response? "I thought the clock was supposed to stop at 2:00!"

The only reason Mike London recruits five-star players is because he thinks his job is actually as an astronomer, otherwise, as he says, "why would we be talking about stars?"

Mike London does not believe in timeouts because, "time is relative, man."

"Exit light..."

Absolutely lost it.

Mike London accidentally triggered the fire alarm in his college dorm by microwaving popcorn. His response? "I thought the clock was supposed to stop at 2:00!"

The only reason Mike London recruits five-star players is because he thinks his job is actually as an astronomer, otherwise, as he says, "why would we be talking about stars?"

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

Moist.

Just felt like saying that.

I don't like high-fives...they hurt my hands.

Wait...the clock doesn't stop at 2:00??!!

I AM an astronomer...I'm also a train engineer...fireman, GI Joe...cowboy...and I used to be a cop.

Time is relative, man!

Did you know I used to be a cop?

Mike London pee's sitting down...even at the urinal.

I like the feeling of cold porcelain on my bottom. The best is when I leave the lid down.

Did you know I used to be a cop?

Mike London double dips

You're mom! Boom!

Just kidding...please don't yell at me during the game. It's very distracting.

Did you know I used to be a cop?

Mike London <3s the polo and athletic shorts combo for formal events

"If at first you do not succeed, then skydiving is not for you." - Anonymous

Friendly advice...

Probably shouldn't go there.

Leonard. Duh.

yeah after a cup of coffee I decided it was in poor taste

"If at first you do not succeed, then skydiving is not for you." - Anonymous

your new one is plenty funny, anyhow. good call mate.

Every second counts

New post is much better (better than mine for sure) ... and no one gets hurt with a bunch of messy down voting.

Leonard. Duh.

Jorts are the best!

Did you know I used to be a cop?

mike london is the head coach of the university of virginia "football" team.

Every second counts

It's pronounced "futbol"

Did you know I used to be a cop?

Mike London calls all recruits "Pre-Years"

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin

Rolling laughing!!!!

Hahahahahahahaha!

Move on to the next round. Nicely done.

Leonard. Duh.

...and alums are Post-Years.

Did you know I used to be a cop?

I thought they were saying "posterior". My bad.

___

-What we do is, if we need that extra push, you know what we do? -Put it up to fully dipped? -Fully dipped. Exactly. It's dork magic.

Mike London farts on the Metro.

Actually, he really does look like a guy who farts on the Metro.

@historyhokie.bsky.social

Sorry...bean burrito for lunch.

Did you know I used to be a cop?

Hyping up Hokie Nation one video at a time.

I don't like this video. At all.

Did you know I used to be a cop?

Mike London takes up 3 parking spaces where ever he parks

Mike London Texts and Drives

Mike London stands on the left on escalators

Mike London moved to Charlottesville because it was safer than Richmond

Mike London teaches his kids how to count by using timeouts

Onward and upward

1 - ...and he drives a Smart car

2 - ...and he uses a flip phone because T9 texting is just so much easier.

3 - ...cause it's the way they do it in Europe (France)

4 - ...because when he stepped down from being a cop, the streets took over.

5 - 3, 3...we all fall down. Ball game.

We put the K in Kwality

Wow...how do you know so much about me? Are you a cop? ...You know I used to be, right?

Did you know I used to be a cop?

Mike London stole christmas, but his heart didn't grow to three times the size. He just tossed that tree right over the hill.

I was pissed because that stupid little dog couldn't pull the sled up the hill.

Did you know I used to be a cop?

did you write that story? I heard somewhere the author came from uVa.

"A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it." - K

You!!!

Tweedy can run like a dadgum antelope or whatever. I like to use scalded dog. Do antelopes lumber? Cheetah, OK. He runs like a cheetah. He's fast. - Bud Foster

YOU!!!!

Every second counts

<3 Coach Fondu

Carry Me Back

ME?

Did you know I used to be a cop?

Mike London gives you the crappy old broken controller when you come over to play Super Smash Bros.

The Orange and Maroon you see, that's fighting on to victory.

'i've got a mad catz with your name on it, buddy!'

Every second counts

Sorry, Brah...only got 2 and mine is for high-scorin'

Did you know I used to be a cop?

Mike London used to be a cop. Did anyone else know that? They should really publicize it more.

Also, this:

"We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior" Stephen M.R. Covey

β€œWhen life knocks you down plan to land on your back, because if you can look up, you can get up, if you fall flat on your face it can kill your spirit” David Wilson

Is he wearing crocs?

Yea...who DOES that??

"We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior" Stephen M.R. Covey

β€œWhen life knocks you down plan to land on your back, because if you can look up, you can get up, if you fall flat on your face it can kill your spirit” David Wilson

Did you know I used to be a cop?

Did you know I used to be a cop?

Mike London eats other people's sandwiches from the office fridge.

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

According to the office handbook, the fridge is a common area.

Did you know I used to be a cop?

Mike London likes Nickelback

HOKIE HOKIE HOKIE HI
'14 grad

This is how you remind me...

Did you know I used to be a cop?

Mike London uses Bing

Mike London cite Wikipedia

Mike London wears skinny jeans. (But has mom jeans in waiting for when they "come back.")

Mike London leaves the seat up.

Mike London leaves time on the microwave without hitting cancel.

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

Bing is awesome.

WikiTRUTH!

Skinny jeans + fat ass = awesomeness!

Only after I pee on it...cause I'm not wiping that off

Just saving time (outs), man.

Did you know I used to be a cop?

Some kid dressed up as Mike London for Halloween in our 'hood and got oversized snickers and Hershey chocolate bars from Hokie fans.

...but he pronounced it "Kevin"

"We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior" Stephen M.R. Covey

β€œWhen life knocks you down plan to land on your back, because if you can look up, you can get up, if you fall flat on your face it can kill your spirit” David Wilson

Yaaaaahhhh! Always my favorite.

We put the K in Kwality

Cause Hokies are so darn nice.

Did you know I used to be a cop?

Mike London makes yellow snow, then eats it because it's sterile and he likes the taste.

Mike London makes "gourmet" cranberry sauce on Thanksgiving instead of getting the canned variety.

Mike London brings mashed cauliflower to Thanksgiving and claims that it tastes as good as mashed potatoes.

Mike London pardoned a Tofurkey before Thanksgiving.

@historyhokie.bsky.social

Canned cranberry sauce is inferior

HOKIE HOKIE HOKIE HI
'14 grad

Dipping your turkey in bourbon is much better.

We put the K in Kwality

Ocean Spray Whole Berry Cranberry sauce is a staple of my diet

OH MY GOD I NEED TO MAKE A CRANBERRY PIE

Blasphemy!

February..'96...the steak: ribeye, the whiskey:Lagavulin 16, the lady next to me: a bit**.....

Necessary???....necessary???

Hey, man...it says gourmet on the package...must be good

Cauliflower is good for you.

Poor little fella...couldn't resist.

Did you know I used to be a cop?

Mike London saw the turkey in his fridge thawing for dinner tomorrow and has already called the first timeout of the game.

Nope...second.

Did you know I used to be a cop?

Mike London doesn't know how to use "your" and "you're" properly

and he spells them
YOU!!!!r and YOU!!!!'re

@historyhokie.bsky.social

Your rong!

Did you know I used to be a cop?

Mike London plans to call a timeout before the opening kickoff. This will prove to: 1) ice the kicker, and 2) show those self-righteous Hokies he knows how to use them.

We put the K in Kwality

Just for good measure, he'll ask the ref to review the coin flip too.

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

This really, really a good idea.

Pious Hokies!

Did you know I used to be a cop?

Mike London drives 5 under the speed limit in the left lane.

Mike London hates bourbon and Chik-Fil-A.

Mike London went to the Frozen movie night at Lane North and sang along to all the songs.

Mike London regularly occupies two parking spaces with his car.

Mike London stands way too close to you in line and breathes really loudly.

Mike London uses Comic Sans and sits down to pee.

Mike London pre-ordered an Xbox One.

Mike London's pussy touchdowns are denied.

Mike London can't build a competent, winning football program at UVgAy despite pulling in a few 5* recruits.

#ENFUENTE #BALLSOFSTEEL #Livefor32

Covered earlier, I was a cop.

Bourbon and CFA are yucky.

Let it go...let it go. Sh!t, now I'm crying again.

Smart cars are big, man.

Covered earlier, I enjoy the warmth of human contact...it's called a deviated septum.

It just looks so fun. Yes, my legs hurt.

Xbox One for sale...

Sadz...

We're only a few plays away...

Did you know I used to be a cop?

Mike London doesn't laugh at your joke, but tells it to his friends

Mike London pulls out in front of you and drives 10 mph below the speed limit

Mike London was a cop, if you didn't know it already

Mike London checks out 40 items in the express checkout....
....after locking up the self-checkout computer

Mike London sits in the front of the room and continuously asks stupid questions like "why can't I carryover my unused timeouts from the first half to the second?"

And by the way, Mike London is any Hokie fan's ideal coach for hooville

"A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it." - K

Because I'm trying to memorize it.

See above: former cop.

I was a cop!

Technically it's not against the law (I know...because I was a cop)

What? You can't? I'm going to write a letter to the NCAA rules committee.

Aww...thanks, Pal!

Did you know I used to be a cop?

Mike London liked The Big Lebowski

I know, I know....

And he understood the Royal Tennanbaums and thought it was the best movie ever?

"We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior" Stephen M.R. Covey

β€œWhen life knocks you down plan to land on your back, because if you can look up, you can get up, if you fall flat on your face it can kill your spirit” David Wilson

Yeah, let's go with this.

Second. Best. Movie. Ever.

Did you know I used to be a cop?

mike london post 10 status' on facebook everyday like its twitter

twitter @smithey_daniel
head scout BSP scouting specializing in north florida/ southern GA highschool football scouting

What the hell is Facebook and Twitter?

Did you know I used to be a cop?

LEGS FOR ALL because its that type of day.

If VT can't get up for this one, we deserve whatever the fallout is.

LETS GOOOOOOOOO....

The Dude Abides

Chicken legs?

Did you know I used to be a cop?

Mike London is Ron Cherrys love child

"We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior" Stephen M.R. Covey

β€œWhen life knocks you down plan to land on your back, because if you can look up, you can get up, if you fall flat on your face it can kill your spirit” David Wilson

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

Best ref. Never missed a call. Thanks, Dad...um...I mean Ron!

Did you know I used to be a cop?

Mike London really knows how to... well...

http://cdn.meme.am/instances/250x250/55583239.jpg

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin

Mike London has already put up a clock in their locker room counting down to NEXT year's game against VT.

"Take care of the little things and the big things will come."

It was actually supposed to be the countdown to this year's game, but you know, TimeCop.

Coach "Fondue" Mike London prefers being called Coach "FML" because that's what he sees his thoroughbred recruits post to twitter halfway through their first summer camp.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Wait...I just read the heading...this isn't Lovin' On???

Did you know I used to be a cop?

Reading. It'll get after ya!

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

Sorry...just back. I was at my spinnin...er...pilate...er...the gym. Also had a meeting with the administration. Turns out those idiots think I've got this thing heading in the right direction and want to give me another year.

Suckers!!!

Did you know I used to be a cop?

I need a quick rundown of how many timeouts Time Cop has called durning this thread.

4...so I still have 3 left.

Did you know I used to be a cop?

"That kid you're talking to right there, I think he played his nuts off! And you can quote me on that shit!" -Bud Foster

I was watching that, cheering...got real excited when I saw the timeouts...then I got sad.

Did you know I used to be a cop?

Mike London considers November 26, 2011 the last 0-0 tie prior to last week.

___

-What we do is, if we need that extra push, you know what we do? -Put it up to fully dipped? -Fully dipped. Exactly. It's dork magic.

It is.

Did you know I used to be a cop?

Mike London eats his peas one at a time

Class of '02. GO HOKIES!

Savoring the favor, baby!

Did you know I used to be a cop?

Mike London doesn't own any TKP swag.