ACC Comedy (Article): Ranking ACC Coaches by Fightin' Ability

this should get you guys a good laugh for the day: Link

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"that head looks like a bucket strapped to a ham." Christ, that made me lose it.

Pretty good! I was disappointed they didn't include coordinators, but we all know that would have just ended up with Bud at the top of the list.

Please... everyone knows you do not fight Frank Beamer... I mean, he may look old, and he's definitely lost a step....

But to get to Frank, you have to go through this:

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin

That's what I thought about the whole Dabo-calling-in-backup argument. Who would want to go against anyone that has Bud in his corner? Heck, for that matter, Loeffler's penchant for lack of sleep + likely overcaffeination might just turn him into a rabid honey badger. Now there's a wild card.

"Exit light..."

I mean we all know Bud is just waiting to hunt a man through the woods with is bow Deliverance style.

But it might be best to not overplay our hand.

Loeffler will chew a man's leg off.

I see that picture and I think this of Bud....

There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter.

If you don't want to recruit clowns, don't run a clown show.

"I want to punch people from UVA right in the neck." - Colin Cowherd

I got a good chuckle out of this comment and the obvious screenshot that followed:

Oh and Beamer is perfectly OK with a fight ending in a draw.

VT Class of '12 (MSE), MVBone, Go Hokies!

Haha I loved this!

On a tangent - the coach I want to punch the most, regardless of how easy it is, is Dabo.

Yea but I wouldn't think twice about knocking Jimbo right in his suck hole

I want to kick CPJ in the balls so hard that they come out his mouth and just hang there under his chin.

Now that you mention it...

I do see the resemblance

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin

Spread this photo far and wide so that the world can be just as baffled and inexplicably vaguely angry as I am right now.

Inexplicably vaguely angry got me good

"The Big Ten is always using excuses to cancel games with us. First Wisconsin. Then Wisconsin. After that, Wisconsin. The subsequent cancellation with Wisconsin comes to mind too. Now Penn State. What's next? Wisconsin?" -HorseOnATreadmill

What, in God's name, is Scott Shafer trying to do to that football? I've heard of monkeys trying it, but a grown man?

Reel men fish on Wednesdays

I wasn't sure which was the list went, I thought #1 was going to be the guy you didn't want to fight at all.

Addazio is my guy. I wouldn't fight him ever. He'd wreck house.

On the by and by, this was my favorite line, about Clawson:

He looks so nice, but he also took the Wake Forest job on purpose.

On purpose. heheheh

I agree on Addazio. He looks like someone for whom cannabilism would NOT be the last option for survival.

Leonard. Duh.

I'm honestly surprised Beamer ranked as high as he did. He's such a nice guy. And old. I was also surprised London wasn't lower on the list. He's soft and he's going to keep trying to call timeouts even tho he doesn't have any

Onward and upward

Agree on Beamer. I can't imagine any confrontation with him ending in physical violence. He'd either be very diplomatic and diffuse the situation, or just bedazzle you with so much coachspeak that you'd forget what you were even mad about and just walk away confused.

Leonard. Duh.

"You really don't want me to get after ya..."

"Exit light..."

Back in 1912 some of Frank's ancestors on his mothers side shot up a court house, so it is in his blood.

Beamer's grandfather, Barnett Allen, then just 21, was charged and acquitted in connection with the incident, but the state executed Beamer's great uncle and a cousin and sentenced several other family members to decades in prison.

http://theroanoker.com/interests/people/frank-beamer/

http://theroanoker.com/interests/history/hillsville-massacre

too soon?

"What are you going to do, stab me? - Quote from Man Stabbed

Beamer is like one of the old guys from Kung Fu Hustle. He'll shuffle around in his slippers and then BOOM! Buddha palm descending from heaven. Fight over.

This article was hilarious and made me think about an argument I had in 2010 of who would be the best Southpark Character. My vote, Ralph "The Fridge", but the Jimbo character looks creepy.

"What are you going to do, stab me? - Quote from Man Stabbed

this.is.awesome

Kiffin would take the cake at a South Park character judging from his eyes!

"Most students who are there want to be nowhere else... Once a Hokie, always a Hokie." - Chris Fowler

Overlooked I'm this is the fact that PJs balls are in his chin so it would be pretty easy to drop him.

Plan for the worst and hope for the best, not the other way around.

I'm pretty sure if you swung at Frank he'd give you a hug and tell you a dad/grandfather story about how fighting doesn't solve anything until you start weeping and apologize.

I also loved the lines about Fedora, they were spot on.

"We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior" Stephen M.R. Covey

“When life knocks you down plan to land on your back, because if you can look up, you can get up, if you fall flat on your face it can kill your spirit” David Wilson

I think all you guys with the "Frank's a nice, sweet, grandfatherly guy who wouldn't hurt a fly" attitude are in the dark. While I'll admit that the book is pretty bad, read Frank's first, "Turn up the Wick" I believe it was called, and you'll get a different impression. The fire that burns in his belly is a really big part of what VT is today on the football field. He's a highly competitive scrapper, he's a fighter, both literally and figuratively, and I think he'd surprise some and hold his own in a real scrape. Betting against him is a losing proposition, and dismissing the fight in that dog is a good way to lose a hand.

Reel men fish on Wednesdays

Sounds like he could really get after ya.

"We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior" Stephen M.R. Covey

“When life knocks you down plan to land on your back, because if you can look up, you can get up, if you fall flat on your face it can kill your spirit” David Wilson

My immediate thought was that if you can't sell Upstate New York, no way in hell you can sell SW VA to his wife. Blacksburg is many things. LA it's not. Thank God.

A decade on TKP and it's been time well spent.

Exactly, were not a high profile school.

Miami would be a better shot than anyone in the acc

Does ANYONE in Hokie Nation really think that going from Frank to Kiffin is a good idea? Why would Whit put his, so far, great reputation as AD in jeopardy by making this hire.

Funny joke...ha ha.

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin