TKP Fantasy Football - Week 10

Alright everybody, I went and changed up the ranking formulas on you (since they don't actually matter, I figured nobody would care). I just realized that the Overall Rank is an average of three scores of where you rank in the league (Power Ranking Rank, Standings Rank, and Total Points Scored Rank) and one of an average stat (Weekly Breakdown). So I took the average weekly breakdown and ranked everyone 1-10 in their league. How I'm saying it probably doesn't make a ton of sense, but I trust that you're all intelligent enough to figure it out. Basically now, your Overall Rank is the average of where you stand in your league in each individual ranking.

ALSO I WROTE A LOT OF FILTH ABOUT ALL OF YOU BECAUSE I'M MAD THE BENGALS OFFENSE SUCKED LAST NIGHT AND CAUSED ME TO LOSE TO DANIBALLS.

Here's the link to the power rankings spreadsheet (filterable by league).

An explanation of rankings:
Overall Rank: Average rank of the four ranks below (from 1-10/12, depending on your league size, with 1 being the best).
Power Rating Rank: Rank of the Power Rating, a weighted ranking stat that I found on the internet dot com. It is comprised of a team's total points (60%), average points (20%), max points (10%) and min points (10%).
Standings Rank: Rank of the team's W-L record
Weekly Breakdown Rank: Overall Rank of the average Weekly Breakdown; the Weekly Breakdown is a stat that ranks how many points a team scored in each week compared to the rest of their league.
Total Points Scored Rank: Rank of a team's total points scored over the span of the season

Even with the changed ranking system, 9 of the top 10 teams from last week are still in the top 10. Sorry, Taste the DwayneBowe, but you've fallen all the way to 15th. Welcome to the top 10, Team H!

I'm breaking ties by your record, and when you're still tied, I'll break them by your Weekly Breakdown rank (since Power Rating and Total Points contain league-specific scoring in them).

1. Enter Sandman (Danny Coale Conference, Overall Rank: 1.00, last week #1)
2. Party Like A Gronk Star (Sam Rogers Conference, Overall Rank: 1.00, last week #2)
3. Team Koma (Frank Beamer Conference, Overall Rank: 1.25, last week #3)
4. Team Needs a Name (Bud Foster Conference, Overall Rank: 1.25, last week #4)
5. Team H (Bud Foster Conference, Overall Rank: 1.50, last week NR)
6. Catticus' Finches (Vincent and Nina Fuller Conference, Overall Rank: 1.75, last week #5)
7. Highty Tighty Mavericks (Danny Coale Conference, Overall Rank: 1.75 last week #8(t))
8. Pastor of Muppets (Vincent and Nina Fuller Conference, Overall Rank: 2.64, last week #7)
9. CHIP CHIP CHIPadelphia (Frank Beamer Conference, Overall Rank: 2.89, last week #8(t))
10. Team Daniballsdeep (Frank Beamer Conference, Overall Rank: 2.64, last week #6)

Bud Foster Conference
Hey guys, want to separate yourselves a little bit? There are five teams tied for first place at 6-4 in the Bud Foster Conference, and four more that are just one game out at 5-5. The craziest thing is that only 117.7 points separate first and 9th in total points scored, which is the playoff tiebreaker. No teams are technically eliminated yet, but the 3-7 Carolina Sex Panthers and Take It To The Facyson need to win out and get a lot of help if they want to make it.

Current Playoff Teams:
Team Needs a Name (6-4)
Team H (6-4)
TD's an DD's (6-4)
Vindictive Blitzes (6-4)

Still Hanging Around:
Gotta Heal, Jamaal! (6-4)
Denied Pussy Touchdowns (5-5)
Kuhn on the Cobb (5-5)
Dork Magic (5-5)
Hashtag GoACC (5-5)

Longshots:
Bud's D (4-6)
Take It To The Facyson (3-7)
Carolina Sex Panthers (3-7)

Team of the week:
Dork Magic posted 137.5 points this week, led by 20+ games from Aaron Rodgers, Brandin Cooks, and Matt Jones. They have won 4 in a row after starting 1-5, and are now squarely in the playoff hunt.

Game of the week:
TD's an DD's edged out Team H 105.3-103 thanks to some Monday Night "Magic" from Andy Dalton (8.9) and Jeremy Hill (2.0). TD's an DD's was led by a combined 58.3 points from Charcandrick West and Jeremy Langford, neither of whom I knew were real life people before October 2015.

Shame of the week:
Kuhn on the Cobb started Devonta Freeman, who was on a bye week.
Carolina Sex Panthers started Julio Jones and Adam Vinatieri, who were both on bye weeks.

Frank Beamer Conference
Phew, God's conference is a little bit clearer. Daniballs clinched a playoff spot and sits two games ahead of the rest of the pack at 9-1. Things will clear up after Week 11, but as of now it looks like Centaurrian Gray, Jim DrunkOnMillers, and Doges Plural will be battling over the fourth playoff spot, barring a collapse by Team Koma or CHIP CHIP CHIPadelphia or a surge by Treadmill Horses.

Current Playoff Teams:
Team Daniballsdeep (9-1)
Team Koma (7-3)
CHIP CHIP CHIPadelphia (7-3)
Centaurrian Gray (6-4)

Still Hanging Around:
Jim DrunkOnMillers (5-5)
Doges Plural (5-5)
Treadmill Horses (4-6)

Longshots:
Captain Kirk (3-7)

Eliminated:
Real Diehls (2-8) - Two game winning streak, just in time to be eliminated from the playoffs
Team Weiss (2-8) - Building a team around DeMarco Murray, Jeremy Hill, Brandin Cooks, and Drew Brees didn't work out for you in 2015?

Team of the week:
Treadmill Horses put up 103.5 to keep their slim playoff hopes alive in a rout over Team Weiss, despite only 8.9 out of Andy Dalton and 0 out of Emmanuel Sanders. If he had started Russell Wilson and Michael Floyd over Dalton and Sanders, he would have put up an even more impressive 134.7 points.

Game of the week:
All I needed last night was a combined 10.7 out of Tyler Eifert and AJ Green. They combined for 7.3, and I lost 92.6-89.3 to Daniballs. At least Green's late fumble wasn't the difference...then, I would have been pretty pissed.

Shame of the week:
Team Weiss started Andre Johnson and Matt Bryant, who were both on bye weeks.
Captain Kirk started Eddie Lacy, who missed the game due to injury, and Jacob Tamme, who was on a bye week (and lost by 9.5)

Danny Coale Conference

Current Playoff Teams:
Enter Sandman (7-3)
Highty Tighty Mavericks (7-3)
NOVA More Cowbell (6-4)
Hokie Fireman (6-4)

Still Hanging Around:
Chalupa Batman (6-4)
Tobacco Road Infiltrators (5-5)
Hokie Stuck in Russia (5-5)

Longshots:
Coale Drogo (4-6)
The jhnbrynt (3-7)

Eliminated:
Finkle is Einhorn (1-9) - Ace, where are you? I'm in Lastplaceville and Finkle's the Mayor.

Team of the week:
The Highty Tighty Mavericks made a statement in their 162.2-107.9 win over Enter Sandman this week. While Enter Sandman still has the points tiebreaker, it is now just a 54.5 point lead, basically cut in half over the last week.

Game of the week:
Chalupa Batman won their third straight over the last place Finkle is Einhorn, 98.9-92.5. A big game out of Jeremy Hill (5 points) could have gotten the W for Finkle, but he didn't have one. Chalupa Batman would have really distanced themselves by starting Michael Floyd (30.3) over Emmanuel Sanders (0) this week, but hindsight is 50-50.

Shame of the week:
Not like they could have seen it coming, but Hokie Stuck in Russia started Peyton Manning, who got -6.6 points. Ouch.
Finkle is Einhorn started Andrew Luck, who was both on a bye and injured for multiple weeks. Had they started a quarterback, they probably would have won.

Vincent and Nina Fuller Conference
There are no teams that are technically eliminated yet in the Vincent and Nina Fuller Conference, but Hokie Bird (3-7) and kickaboo jooce's (3-7) are both out with a loss or a win by both Pastor of Muppets and Old Warped Gashole.

Current Playoff Teams:
Catticus' Finches (8-2)
To Hover is Divine (7-3)
Pastor of Muppets (6-4)
Old Warped Gashole (6-4)

Still Hanging Around:
Bring Back CJ (5-5)
Gettin' Lucky at the Hilton (5-5)
Team Carter (5-5)

Longshots:
TDs 'n Beer (4-6)
Team Simmons (4-6)
Team Old Hokie (4-6)
Hokie Bird (3-7)
kickaboo jooce's (3-7)

Team of the week:
Team Carter put up a solid 109.3 points this week thanks to 20+ point performances from Elisha Manning, Adrian Peterson and Matt Jones. Not bad for a team that's still hanging onto Joseph Randle, and has a backup K and D/ST on the bench!

Game of the week:
No super close games this week, so I'll go with Pastor of Muppets beating Team Old Hokie 104.4-88.6. Brandin COoks, Tom Brady, and Josh Brown led the way for the Muppets while Team Old Hokie had six guys who scored 11-16 points but a few duds and no real breakout performances.

Shame of the week:
Bring Back CJ started Dion Lewis, who is out for the year. If they had started Charcandrick West instead (the only other RB on the roster not on a bye), they would have won 98.1-93.8 and been in fourth place in the league.
Hokie Bird is too busy planning Frank Beamer's last home game and started Julio Jones and Jacob Tamme (both on byes) and Nick Folk (placed on IR last week). If they started a full roster using their bench kicker (Cairo Santos, 20 points), bench tight end (Jimmy Graham, 4.1 points), moving Jarvis Landry to WR 2 and putting either Marshawn Lynch (11 points) or Theo Riddick (2.6 points) at FLEX, they would have won.

Sam Rogers Conference
Six teams within one game of first place. ANARCHY!

Current Playoff Teams:
Party Like a Gronk Star (7-3)
11 Straight (7-3)
Taste the DwayneBowe (7-3)
Dude You're Getting Odell (6-4)

Still Hanging Around:
Dirty Birds (6-4)
Team Suck a Ditka (6-4)

Longshots:
Cartoons Plural (3-7)
Glass Jaw Geno (3-7)
Fuller House of Pain (3-7)

Eliminated:
Nihlist Marmots (2-8) - The Dude abides. The Nihilist Marmots do not.

Team of the week:
The Dirty Birds clawed Ditka's sweater vest right off this week with a 125.8-54.4 victory. Aaron Rodgers and Adrian Peterson put up big numbers for the Birds, who had 8+ points out of each starter other than Jordan Matthews.

Game of the week:
Dude You're Getting Odell edged the Nihlist Marmots 92.7-88.2, preserving fourth place in the standings while eliminating their opponents. Going into Monday night, all they needed was for Giovani Bernard to not outscore Tyler Eifert by 9.8 points, and while Tyler Eifert did his best job to screw that up, so did Giovani Bernard and the Bengals' offense. Carson Palmer, Odell Beckham, and Lamar Miller led the way for Dude You're Getting Odell, while Derek Carr and Chandler Catanzaro were the only 15+ point performers for the Nihlist Marmots.

Shame of the week:
Fuller House of Pain started Le'Veon Bell (on the IR) and Keenan Allen (on the IR, and it was SD's bye week too) this week. Had they moved Jonathan Stewart to RB2 and started Jarvis Landry and Kamar Aiken at WR and FLEX, they would have won (although starting Duke Johnson, Marques Colston or Shane Vereen in either spot would have still resulted in a loss).
Team Suck a Ditka and Cartoons Plural put up 54.4 and 44.2 points, respectively, despite both starting full non-weird lineups. While others get shamed for not trying, you get shamed for trying. Life lesson: never try.