deathrow821's Turkey Leg post got me to thinking...how many schools actually eat their own mascot? Just a fun ramble to pass the time until practice starts and Nnadi commits :)
Here's the ACC list and teams we play this year:
ACC
- Boston College Eagles - nope, felony
- Clemson Tigers - nope, illegal (endangered species)
- Duke Blue Devils- don't think the actually exist (maybe devils food cake)
- Florida State Seminoles - maybe ;)
- GiT Yellow Jackets - could but why would you eat a bee? Other option is a car...no thanks.
- Maryland Terapins - mmm...turtle soup
- Miami Hurricanes - nope, too painful (guess you could eat an ibis)
- UNC Tar Heels - why would you eat a foot? Somehow that means Ram...which you could eat
- NC State Wolfpack - sure you could eat a wolf, if it didn't kill you first...but no way you could eat a whole pack
- Notre Dame Fighting Irish - just add alcohol
- Pitt Panthers - see wolf...no way youre eat it before it eats you
- Syracuse Orangemen - hmm...no way. But their mascot looks like an Orange Julius...which is awesome!
- #LOLUVA Cavaliers - sounds like a French dish...but still illegal to eat a human. Wahoo on the other is a delicious fish
- VT Fighting Gobblers - Mmm...turkey legs!!! More please.
- Wake Forest Demon Deacons - still illegal to eat people.
- Louisville Cardinals - could...but why? There is literally no meat on those things.
Non-Conference Opponents
- Alabama Crimson Tide - see Miami Hurricanesit would kill you! Their option Big Al the elephant (no idea how that connects...elephants would drown in a crimson tide). Guess you could eat them...and how do you eat an elephant (that's right kids, one bite at a time)...but its illegal
- Western Carolina Catamounts - what the hell is a Catamount? According to the Al Gore dictionary: Wild cats of the "catamount variety", including the bobcat, cougar or lynx, have roamed the southern Appalachian Mountains for years. Umm...okay. Sure eat them...go wild Cletus! Insert your Cougar, Puma or Jaguar jokes here
- East Carolina Pirates - nope, Pirates are only found off the coast of Africa...and its illegal to eat a human
- Marshall Thundering Herd - guess the herd is a herd of Buffalo. So...yes, you can eat them. Buffalo is some good eatin...just not sure if I could eat a whole herd.
**for the record, this is not the stupidest thing Ive ever written. God, I need a hobby!
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Comments
Off the top of my head:
Arkansas
Nebraska (kind of)
Florida
Maryland (maybe)
Oregon
USC - east
For Maryland: I had snapping turtle jerky a couple days ago and it was pretty good.
Texas Longhorns
we can also get drunk off our mascot, which has probably been mentioned elsewhere.
That was pretty good. But Syracuse is now just the Orange, they dropped the "men" a few years back. And how about Cal? Bear sounds like it could taste good.
Bears smell like wet carpets covered in poo. I can't imagine that tastes very good, even with the fur skinned off and a side of mashed potatoes.
Have you ever smelled a cow? Doesn't smell too good either. Tastes pretty good though.
Bear Sausage is the best sausage i've ever had.
So many ways I could respond to this comment...
Did it start bland, maybe a little sweet, then finish salty?
Arkansas was the first one that popped in my head too, also Colorado. And NitWhitt, Ithinkyourspacebarmightbebroken ;)
Steve Jobs thought a spacebar would take away from the visual appeal of the iPhone screen.
Finally got to a real machine and fixed all the stupid, random, apple deletions. Sorry.
BYU, Washington State, and Houston
Or maybe that's just me...
Sorry Horse, but Boise State if you're in Italy.
or at Taco Bell
They're called Broncos over there?
I guess Mare or Dam is probably the correct term for me.
I've eaten a few cougars in my day, ohhhhhh that's a different kind of animal...sorry.
I see what you did there...
If I understand you correctly, then, yes, that was the joke.
There has to be a small northeastern liberal arts school whose mascot is a cronut
Long Beach State Banana Slugs. Ive seen a guy eat a slug.
South Florida Bulls.
Ohio State Buckeyes. People eat nuts.
That's what she said!
It's UC Santa Cruz, BTW.
Really? No one mentioned Oregon State yet? SMH...
Lol, Beavers...
i've always hoped oregon state would play south carolina
haha i always get a good laugh when the trojans play the beavers...
especially when the beavers play dirty...
Here is a list of mascots. Have fun! I like Artie the Fighting Artichoke.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_U.S._college_mascots
Is the lack of spacing at random intervals driving anyone else insane?
No notreally
*twitch*
Did everyone else miss the obvious joke here?
Kinda like when I burst out laughing everytime ESPN/ABC plays their commercials for "The Red River Rivalry".
Sounds like when the Hatfields and the McCoys cycles synced.
South Carolina. But it kind of makes you a whore
I think the next "new" mascot school (like when the NCAA makes F$U change theirs) should be the "hot dogs" or "pepporoni pizzas". So we wouldn't be one of the only schools who actually sells their cooked mascot at games.
I would guess that several schools that have variations on cattle sell burgers (Texas, USF, etc)
Also I think there was an oversight. Isn't UVA's unofficial mascot a flapping vagina? If so then, well, you've got that...
Nice! Way to go strong!
How about a match up between the two USCs?
I wonder if they have ever actually played each other? It could bring up some awkward sportscaster discussions of picking the winner against the points spread.
"i really like how those trojans are wrapping up the cock ball carriers bob."
"Wow...that Cock O really gave it to the Trojans"
...or...
"The Cock O really had a difficult day getting through that Trojan line"
I was thinking more along the lines of; "I'm picking the Trojans to cover..."
"But the Cocks might break through, and come out on top"
"The Cocks had no trouble penetrating the porous Trojan defense"
(Church & Dwight Co, Inc. stock immediately falls 80%)
WVU girls...they will eat anything.
WVU guys, they eat more sausage than the girls from what I hear.
M-m-m-m-m-m-momma says..... the Florida Gators????
