Hatin' On David Cutcliffe

We thought we were going to have a tough go of it last week, but Salty Pat ended up making our jobs easier than expected. Hopefully our subject this week will continue to take the high road and be difficult to hate on.

DISCLAIMER: Forum topics may not have been written or edited by The Key Play staff.

Comments

Coach Cut is a good coach and an even better guy. Its a shame he has to put up with the jerkoff that is Coach Krzyerkjhgekrjhqewsfhsky on a daily basis.

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin

Krzyerkjhgekrjhqewsfhsky

Impressive! I can't believe you spelled it right!

I hate Coach Cutcliffe because I can't find one reason to hate him.

Dammit, I hate that guy.

Leonard. Duh.

Let's Go

HOKIES

can anybody provide the link for Cutcliffe's presser on this upcoming VT game? i couldnt get it off goduke site

"Everyone has a plan 'till they get punched in the mouth."

David Cutcliffe is an honest man, and I wish I could have him as my grandpa. No, wait.

David Cutcliffe chose to stay at Duke. Wait, that's actually pretty noble. He makes me not good at this.

David Cutcliffe produces a better product on the field than Duke fans have ever deserved.

A decade on TKP and it's been time well spent.

Cutcliffe once took cake to Chipotle.

Wet stuff on the red stuff.

Join us in the Key Players Club

Yeah, yeah, David Cutcliffe makes all the right choices. We get it.

A decade on TKP and it's been time well spent.

With cake vs pie and now Moe's vs Chipotle...throw in a couple more things and we'll have some crazy TKP version of a Myers-Briggs assessment

P/C: Pie or Cake
C/M: Chipotle or Moe's
A/F: Alumnus or Fan (no offense intended)
K/R: Key Player or Registered User

The repetition with the C could be problematic.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Did we ever conclude the argument about hotdogs and if they are or are not sandwiches?

Outspoken team cake advocate. Hates terrapins. Resident Macho Man Gif Poster. Distant cousin to Dork Magic. Frequently misspells words.

Use an X for Chipotle since it's the greek Chi

Here lies It's a Stroman Jersey I Swear, surpassed in life by no one because he intercepted it.

I'd avoid the Alum/Fan distinction since. aside from welcome opponent fans, we're all Hokies.

Perhaps B/S for Who'd win in a fight, Batman or Superman (hint: it's Batman).

Or alternatively, for all the Venture Bros. fans, who'd win in a crazy fantasy fistfight between Anne Frank and Lizzie Borden?

A decade on TKP and it's been time well spent.

Pie
Burritos
Crabcakes
Alumni
...
Profit

Burritos
Crabcakes

Mother of God....a crabcake burrito....

Hey Mods, can someone do something about that potential NSFW link? /s I'm going to need a cig and a nap after that vid

Coach Cutcliffe is like that person you know who is successful and has a great work ethic who also happens to be a splendid person. The only problem with them is that they make you feel inferior even though they are always being nice to you. Which makes you feel even smaller because they bug you for no good reason.

"That move was slicker than a peeled onion in a bowl of snot." -Mike Burnop

Fuck Pat Narduzzi.

"I liked you guys a lot better when everybody told you you were terrible." -Justin Fuente

Pat Narduzzi criticizes the moderators after his hating on thread is over; loses 5000 turkey legs.

You can post this on every hatin on thread for the rest of the season and you will get tons of legs every time

Using /s is for cowards.

leg!

Even when you get skunked; fishing never lets you down. 🎣

Pat Narduzzi calls offensive pass interference on the wrong thread.

___

-What we do is, if we need that extra push, you know what we do? -Put it up to fully dipped? -Fully dipped. Exactly. It's dork magic.

David Cutcliffe is giving out floss and toothbrushes tonight.

The Orange and Maroon you see, that's fighting on to victory.

Coach Cucliffe hands out toothbrushes and floss for Halloween

The Dude Abides

The Orange and Maroon you see, that's fighting on to victory.

Damn, as I was typing it

The Dude Abides

I really can't hate on cut. He really finds the right kind of players that do it right on and off the field.

For reference: I was sitting in some awesome seats for the 2013 Duke game. (Shudder).

When it was pretty obvious Duke was going to get the upset, a Duke player screamed some obscenities (which is fair, he was so excited his team got a good win) and then turned around and saw a young mother covering her child's ears. The player wouldn't stop apologizing that he cursed in front of the kid to the woman. He really felt bad.

To do that to an opposing fan after you've gotten one of the biggest wins in school history showed a lot of class.

VT 2016
Go Hokies

I put this on the "Hating on Puke" thread, but it's worth noting again... Coach Cutcliffe is a college of Coach K. That's really the only bad thing I can say about the guy.

Is coronavirus over yet?

I did a search for Coach Cut to find some material and I came across this gem....

Not really sure why it exists but it cracked me up.

Is that a hair swap? Creepy

The Dude Abides

It is. And yes, it is.

That picture of Beamer makes him look eerily like Chris Berman

that's hilarious, but someone has WAY too much time on their hands.

Fire Whit.

David Cutcliffe punts in Madden

Keep calm, Gobble on

I heard he onside kicks on every kickoff, and fakes every punt.

2026 Season Challenge: TBD
Previous Challenges: Star Wars (2019), Marvel (2020), Batman (2021), Wrasslin' (2022)

...David Cutcliffe spells Madden with an o

"It might be dark outside, but it's LeDay in here." - Jay Bilas

As a Cubs fan I believe I spelled his name the way it was always meant to be

Keep calm, Gobble on

Coach Cut is your grandma's +1 for Christmas this year.

Coach DC thinks the "cake walk" at fall festivals at elementary schools aren't all that great of a thing.

Amateur superstar and idiot extraordinaire.

Cutcliffe does not see a problem with Greyson Allen tripping players

The Dude Abides

Cutcliffe thinks #25 is worn by Frank beamer. Baffled he can't find beams on the football program.

Hokies, Local Soccer, AFC Ajax, Ravens

David Cutcliffe is looking forward to having a great home field advantage on Saturday. He also wishes Duke would put the track around the football field again.

Coach Cutcliffe "checks in" at every restaurant he eats at and posts it on social media.

"What are you going to do, stab me? - Quote from Man Stabbed

And makes you wait to eat your food so he can take a picture of the food to post along with it.

Leg. You must have dated my ex too.

"What are you going to do, stab me? - Quote from Man Stabbed

I did. she exactly how you describe.

David Cutcliffe thinks Wallace Wade Stadium is the nicest high school football stadium in all of North Carolina

OMG there really is a track around the field

Not anymore... they've renovated

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin

It is gone now. They renovated the stadium recently and removed it.

Gonna have to TKP faster than that, MPHOKIE....

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin

I would have beaten you to the reply but I was being held by a Pitt cornerback.

Ahh, I see you're still being coached by Loeffler... See, Fuente would have just told you to push off and make the catch, since the refs clearly don't care about it anyway

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin

... give them credit for that!

Oops, edited out - redundant comment

HTHokie93

To whoever downvoted this one: we don't downvote "drink!" posts.

2026 Season Challenge: TBD
Previous Challenges: Star Wars (2019), Marvel (2020), Batman (2021), Wrasslin' (2022)

Washington Huskies used to be the same way, I went to a game in their old stadium in 2009.

David Cutcliffe thought Wallace stadium was named after David Wallace

"It might be dark outside, but it's LeDay in here." - Jay Bilas

Pick up my suck it and I suck it!

"That kid you're talking to right there, I think he played his nuts off! And you can quote me on that shit!" -Bud Foster

"I love David Wallace, but I hate Suck It." -Michael Scott, in what might be the most down-to-earth thing he ever said in the whole show.

"It might be dark outside, but it's LeDay in here." - Jay Bilas

David Cutcliffe is such a swell guy that he sent handwritten notes of encouragement to the Pitt DBs after watching Narduzzi trash them.

"We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior" Stephen M.R. Covey

β€œWhen life knocks you down plan to land on your back, because if you can look up, you can get up, if you fall flat on your face it can kill your spirit” David Wilson

David Cutcliffe does Crossfit and is on the Paleo diet but doesn't ever post about it on Facebook

"We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior" Stephen M.R. Covey

β€œWhen life knocks you down plan to land on your back, because if you can look up, you can get up, if you fall flat on your face it can kill your spirit” David Wilson

Is that even possible?

Deposit whiskey, receive wisdom.

With David Cutcliffe, all things are possible.

"We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior" Stephen M.R. Covey

β€œWhen life knocks you down plan to land on your back, because if you can look up, you can get up, if you fall flat on your face it can kill your spirit” David Wilson

and he has an iPhone and he vapes

Onward and upward

David Cutcliff is a good man and a good football coach and I have nothing bad to say about him at'all.

David Cutcliffe is almost Frank Beamer...but he's not.

Keeping karma on our side: we have to beat the classiest opposing coach we'll see this season, this Sat. WHY does he have to be at DUKE!?! Ugh

"look at this...this is beautiful, these people are losing their minds" -Mike Patrick

Mark Richt is a pretty good guy too.

Cut to Brad Kayaa scowling

The Dude Abides

David Cutcliffe is the initiating customer at every Starbucks "Pay it Forward" event

3 Hours later when he notices that it is still going he comes in and ends it do no-one else has to be the bad guy.

David Cutcliffe holds the door open for you when you enter a building and "says after you". Rumor has it that he and Mark Richt once approached the building at the same time and neither could decide who would go first, so they just agreed to walk away.

"We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior" Stephen M.R. Covey

β€œWhen life knocks you down plan to land on your back, because if you can look up, you can get up, if you fall flat on your face it can kill your spirit” David Wilson

Cutcliff secretly wants to kick Coach K in the ass after holdng the door for him.

And then Narduzzi charged right between them and threw open the door screeching "ME FIRST"

Then complained to the building manager when the two of them still got through the door before him, despite grabbing them and trying to hold them back. Said that the doors were acting "really one-sided"

Whatever, we're going to lose to Duke this week anyways. No point in watching this one.

TRAP GAME
R
A
P
G
A
M
E

/s

Coach Cut helps kids sing the national anthem if they forget the words

Coach Cut, like all intelligent people, thinks Big Lebowski is not a good movie.

Unlike most of us, though, he has the good character not to say it out loud to disappoint those who are wrong.

Obviously, you're not a golfer.

Yeah, I mind. The Dude Minds.This aggression will not stand man

The Dude Abides

Fine....I'll post the obligatory gif....

If you don't want to recruit clowns, don't run a clown show.

"I want to punch people from UVA right in the neck." - Colin Cowherd

"HATIN ON" - This whole thread so far is:

I told him I’d crawl on my hands and knees to be the DL coach at Virginia Tech. Now, all of a sudden, I’m sitting in this chair and I told him I’d still crawl on my hands and knees to work here. I just want to be here.
JC Price

I hate that I can't think of anything remotely unflattering to say about Coach Cut. What a jerk to put me in that situation!

"Exit light..."

Coach Cutcliffe politely RSVP'd as "Not Attending" to my wedding invitation, however sent a wedding gift in the form of a VT VicTory.

"Nooooooooooo!"
~What happened?
"James Franklin to Virginia Tech...."
~Fuck me......*sigh*
"Oh my God.... They're gonna take all our recruits... like WTF bro...."
~*squints eyes in disbelief*

David Cutcliffe ... ummm...

Yeah I got nothing.

LAR '12 MVBones Go Hokies! USA!

Coach Cutcliffe coaches against the hokies....

Cutcliffe is in line ahead at the grocery store and sees you have only 1 item but doesn't let you go ahead...

... but instead offers for you to put it with his and he will get it for you. Then offers you a Werther's Original.

"I'm too drunk to taste this chicken" - Colonel Sanders via Ricky Bobby

Coach Cutcliffe thinks Duke Blue and White are better fall colors than Burnt Orange and Chicago Maroon.

Cutcliffe thinks time of possession is the key to winning this game.

Cutcliffe is right on the money.

The Orange and Maroon you see, that's fighting on to victory.

David Cutcliffe decides where he wants to play football for the next 4 years....

doesn't make a spectacle about it.

David Cutcliffe wakes up the grandchildren on Christmas Eve at 11pm, assembles them in a semi-circle in front of his favorite rocking chair and reads them "The Night Before Christmas" because he got distracted and forgot to after dinner.

"Nooooooooooo!"
~What happened?
"James Franklin to Virginia Tech...."
~Fuck me......*sigh*
"Oh my God.... They're gonna take all our recruits... like WTF bro...."
~*squints eyes in disbelief*

then he lets them open a present before going back to bed

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

David Cutcliffe calls you, on the land line, on a Saturday morning and offers to take you fishing that afternoon.

He packs sandwiches.

David Cutcliffe mows your grass while you are away on vacation.

..and scalps it.

The Orange and Maroon you see, that's fighting on to victory.

....and then pays for the restoration....

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin

David Cutcliffe licks the air when he farts.

"Yeah, it do." - Mike Vick

I'm sorry...but this had me dying.

If you don't want to recruit clowns, don't run a clown show.

"I want to punch people from UVA right in the neck." - Colin Cowherd

David Cutcliffe puts his freshman CBs on an island all game...

blames himself afterwards for not adjusting at half time, thinks the refs called a good game and actually let a few slide and thinks they need to do a better job of coaching their corners not to grab jerseys.

David Cutcliffe thinks the workers at MickeyD's are much more respectful than the workers at Chick-Fil-A.

Fire Whit.

David Cutcliffe wishes they would say "my pleasure" more often, though.

2026 Season Challenge: TBD
Previous Challenges: Star Wars (2019), Marvel (2020), Batman (2021), Wrasslin' (2022)

David Cutcliffe, while being a respectable human being, hangs his toilet paper on the roll incorrectly.

It was a catch!

You wanna come to a super soft birthday party?

Dang I know this is just for fun and all but that was a little harsh don't ya think?

Using /s is for cowards.

Speaking of harsh, Cutcliffe steals his wrong hanging, John Wayne toilet paper from the stadium bathrooms.

I'm sorry. I don't know what overcame me. I'll tone it down next time.

It was a catch!

You wanna come to a super soft birthday party?

David Cutcliffe has sympathy for Jerry off Parks and Rec

"Nooooooooooo!"
~What happened?
"James Franklin to Virginia Tech...."
~Fuck me......*sigh*
"Oh my God.... They're gonna take all our recruits... like WTF bro...."
~*squints eyes in disbelief*

Jerry
Larry
Lenny
Terry
Barry
Gerry

Garry...FTFY

I'm only in Season 5 so does this come up in the future? or did I miss something.... :(

"Nooooooooooo!"
~What happened?
"James Franklin to Virginia Tech...."
~Fuck me......*sigh*
"Oh my God.... They're gonna take all our recruits... like WTF bro...."
~*squints eyes in disbelief*

I think this joke starts late season 5/early 6 and expands a bit from there. I may also have exaggerated it a little. Hilarious nonetheless.

Jerry
Larry
Lenny
Terry
Barry
Gerry
Garry

Kevin...FTFY

"We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior" Stephen M.R. Covey

β€œWhen life knocks you down plan to land on your back, because if you can look up, you can get up, if you fall flat on your face it can kill your spirit” David Wilson

Cutcliffe purposely deals all 4 aces to Narduzzi in a game of poker. Nardouchie complains that the game is too one-sided and throws the cheese dip on the floor.

Coach Cutcliffe notices youre climbing through a window to sleep on a cot in the maintenance room of the Football stadium...

leaves a blanket and a key on the cot, later denies credit.

Coach Cutcliffe sits next to a lemonade stand and yells "It's Iced Tea!" at passerbys.

2026 Season Challenge: TBD
Previous Challenges: Star Wars (2019), Marvel (2020), Batman (2021), Wrasslin' (2022)

While Pat Narduzzi as a role model is the Pitts of the world, Coach Cut coaches at the absolute pits of the world for college football.

Cue John McEnroe.

Coach Cutcliffe covers you with the warm, fuzzy blanket and lights the fireplace when you pass out while watching tv on a cold snowy evening before going to bed.

What he does next will shock you!

2026 Season Challenge: TBD
Previous Challenges: Star Wars (2019), Marvel (2020), Batman (2021), Wrasslin' (2022)

*insert le lenny face* go on...

LAR '12 MVBones Go Hokies! USA!

Cutcliffe thinks VT fans should take it easy on Greg Paulus

If he thinks that, we probably would

David Sutcliffe up votes his own comments on TPK because he knows that the leg count still matters.

Fuck a Leg Count!

Even when you get skunked; fishing never lets you down. 🎣

David Cutcliffe thinks it's possible to upvote one's own comments on TKP.

Outspoken team cake advocate. Hates terrapins. Resident Macho Man Gif Poster. Distant cousin to Dork Magic. Frequently misspells words.

Cut is a stand up guy. I appreciate his manors. He believes that a "Fuck Pat Narduzzi" comment is improper. We will just have to agree to disagree.

Even when you get skunked; fishing never lets you down. 🎣

Coach Cutliffe doesn't quite understand that this is meant as an insult, though:

#Purduzzi

Even when you get skunked; fishing never lets you down. 🎣

Coach Cutcliffe is a wonderful human being and a darn good football coach, but he is now recruiting Va kids to go to Duke instead of VT. I (reluctantly, but dutifully) hate Coach Cutcliffe.

Go Hokies!

Coach Cutcliffe always keeps hard candies and a handkerchief in his pocket.

Kinda hard from down here in Lumberton to be hating on Coach Cut. Not after his players did this:

Duke players bring relief to flood-ravaged Lumberton.

Also, for the game on Saturday:

The school set up a promotion for the Blue Devils' game against Virginia Tech on Nov. 5 -- with donations of three canned goods getting a discounted ticket.

Friends don't let friends go to LOLUVA

David Cutcliffe watched "Lost" all the way through the last episode of the last season.

read "David Cutcliffe is a masochist"

The last 2 seasons were my favorites :(

I couldn't hang on that long. It got too weird...

David Cutcliffe apologizes and hold himself responsible for Duke's historical reputation of being awful at football before his tenure started.

"Nooooooooooo!"
~What happened?
"James Franklin to Virginia Tech...."
~Fuck me......*sigh*
"Oh my God.... They're gonna take all our recruits... like WTF bro...."
~*squints eyes in disbelief*

So much conflict. Must... hate on.... opposing.... coach.... Can't.... hate on.... Cutcliffe.

If he could come out and say vaccines are dangerous or that he agrees Tech's receivers could have been called for some push-offs or something, that'd make this all a whole lot easier.

In the meantime: Cutcliffe donates a bunch of canned food to flood victims, without a single thought for giving them a can opener.

That's the best I got.

In the meantime: Cutcliffe donates a bunch of canned food to flood victims, without a single thought for giving them a can opener.

TH13 that won't work either. Cutcliffe made sure that all the cans were pull top.

Even when you get skunked; fishing never lets you down. 🎣

Sure, probably, but the click bait article doesn't mention that in the title.

Hate stands.

"You won't believe what a football coach did to the flood victims. #3 is unbelievable!!!"

A decade on TKP and it's been time well spent.

David Cutcliffe thinks "Stranger Things" is about Narduzzi's analysis on College Football officiating.

He thinks that Narduzzi lives in the Upside Down, and he's not wrong.

I knew it.....

.
.

Go Hokies!

My god... the man just looks like a serial killer in that image...

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin

Coach Cutcliffe still uses a flip phone

The Dude Abides

Cutcliffe makes his grandchildren watch reruns of Leave it to Beaver, The Andy Griffith Show and The Waltons to learn their morals.

He's the opposite of Narduzzi, who doesn't believe in morals.

Wait, I'm hating on the wrong guy again.

Must hate on Cutcliffe...

So....

Hard.......

Yeah Anna Kendrick is pretty hot

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin

Thanks Alum, I needed that.

Coach Cutcliffe taught Eli Manning everything he knows, including the derpface.

I'm here for the memes, I just stay for the football.

David is the football coach Duke needs, but is not the one they deserve

Oh.... oh...

2026 Season Challenge: TBD
Previous Challenges: Star Wars (2019), Marvel (2020), Batman (2021), Wrasslin' (2022)

I used to own a Jeep and I still find myself waving at Jeeps sometimes lol

@AMB4VT

I wave half the time when I'm driving our minivan... my wife does it too and gets embarrassed.

2026 Season Challenge: TBD
Previous Challenges: Star Wars (2019), Marvel (2020), Batman (2021), Wrasslin' (2022)

I kept my old pickup in lieu of trading it in when I got my JK. I often find myself waving at Jeeps when I'm in it. I'd rather be the one that gets snubbed than the one that doesn't wave.

Cutcliffe points out VW bugs to you so you can punch him.

David Cutcliffe doesn't drive a jeep; yet he still understands.

Stick it in! Stick it in!

David Cutcliffe is the type of guy to share a facebook account with his wife

Born in Charlottesville, Reborn in Blacksburg

Basically all I have concluded from this thread is that Cut is basically everyone's favorite grandpa

Using /s is for cowards.

Close, but not quite! Can't forget Beamer, and of course:

"Exit light..."

David Cutcliffe hands out fist fulls of Werther's Original to trick-or-treaters.

Those are awesome.

The only week I don't root for the Fightin' Cutcliffes is when the play us.

Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies

David Cutcliff is like an uncle who gifts you money every year. You are happy for him and enquire about him occasionally, but hate to meet and have dinner with him.

David Cutcliffe coaches at Duke.

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Jet Sweep

David Cutcliff let Coach K steal the best QB in Duke History.

Always choose joy.

Coach Cutcliffe makes this thread too difficult.

David Cutcliffe stole a mattress from his roommate back in Boulder.

David Cutcliffe doesn't always drink beer, but when does...he drinks coors light.

Stick it in! Stick it in!

David Cutliffe's greatest achievement is building an almost respectable football program at a basketball school.

Sometimes we live no particular way but our own

David Cutcliffe gives out Cs in gym class.

Celebrating touchbacks.

I hate Cutcliffe because he is a great coach and always keeps it close, but he is an even classier guy.

Fire Whit.