UVA is Toast

By: mogwaiaredangerous on November 23, 2017, 9:36 AM | 14 comments

Fellow Hokies,
This Friday we face our most hated, crispy rival. In a game more heated than a toaster our Hokies take on that crusty group of zima-sipping toast-eaters. I'm not worried though. Beating Hoos is our bread and butter. Our offense will simply spread them out, then jam the ball up the middle. Meanwhile our Lunch Pail Defense will come to feast on our slightly crunchy foes. We'll preserve the lead while the cavalier crowd turns the color of avocado with envy. They'll be totally jelly of our high-scoring, hard-hitting ways.

The heat of a game lasts a full 60 minutes, and just like the slice of toast our opponents revere, by the end of the match the Hoos will be nothing but a dried out, tasteless husk of themselves. Us Hokies, however, are more like a fresh batch of yeast rolls...put us in the oven and we rise to the occasion.

So in conclusion: Hokies are Champs, Hoos are Toast.
Happy Thanksgiving, ya'll.

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Comments

Egbert's picture Egbert
BEER
| 8 years 8 months #

They're French toast.

This is going to be great for the ACC.

VT_Fencer's picture VT_Fencer | 8 years 8 months # ^

They're Ffrench toast.

ftfy

The Orange and Maroon you see, that's fighting on to victory.

mogwaiaredangerous's picture mogwaiaredangerous | 8 years 8 months # ^

I had a line about Cam Phillips dunking on loluva cornerbacks like he dunks his french toast in maple syrup, but I couldn't fit it in

hokie07ME's picture hokie07ME | 8 years 8 months #

I'm so pissed at GT. Beating the hoos is always more fun when it keeps them from going bowling.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

NerdMagic's picture NerdMagic | 8 years 8 months #

clears throat FUCK UVA

Outspoken team cake advocate. Hates terrapins. Resident Macho Man Gif Poster. Distant cousin to Dork Magic. Frequently misspells words.

hokie07ME's picture hokie07ME | 8 years 8 months # ^

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

SCHokie2011's picture SCHokie2011 | 8 years 8 months # ^

The bolding helps, but I would still prefer you use a comma right there. 😳

Using /s is for cowards.

NerdMagic's picture NerdMagic | 8 years 8 months # ^

FUCK, UVA, AND, GRAMMAR,

Outspoken team cake advocate. Hates terrapins. Resident Macho Man Gif Poster. Distant cousin to Dork Magic. Frequently misspells words.

2HokiesIn1's picture 2HokiesIn1
PICK 6 BIG SHOOTS
| 8 years 8 months #

To quote Futurama's Scruffy, The Janitor, "Oh, marmalade!"

A decade on TKP and it's been time well spent.

Ronyell W.'s picture Ronyell W. | 8 years 8 months #

Hmm, I don't feel too good about some of this overconfidence.

Don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because, this is just a ride.

eshiben5's picture eshiben5 | 8 years 8 months #

basically uva

Taylor, looking desperately throws it deep..HAS A MAN OPEN DANNY COALE WITH A CATCH ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE FIVE!!!!....hes still open

The Beard of DeChristopher's picture The Beard of DeChristopher
BEARDS > PEOPLE
| 8 years 8 months #

This is my favorite thing you've ever posted. Big ol' leg and let's leave them the heel tonight

21st century QBs Undefeated vs UVA:
MV7, MV5, LT3, Grant Wells, Braxton Burmeister, Ryan Willis, Josh Jackson, Jerod Evans, Michael Brewer, Tyrod Taylor, Sean Glennon, and Grant Noel. That's right, UVA. You couldn't beat Grant Noel.

07Hokie's picture 07Hokie
STATS AND DOG SPORTS
| 8 years 8 months #

warm buttery toast

Never Forget #1 Overall Seed UVA 54, #64 UMBC 74

NM_Hokie's picture NM_Hokie
| 8 years 8 months #

Can't believe I hadn't heard of that inspirational toaster before. What a great idea but it should have been a cupcake pan because toast Loluva reminds me of this fine creation.

'Hoos up for Shit on a shingle?