Lifted from r/CFB. Here's my response:
1. Virginia. BURN. IT. TO. THE. GROUND.
2. William and Mary. Not this shit again.
3. Old Dominion. The only thing more embarrassing than playing at ODU would be losing to them.
4. ECU. Fuck this series.
5. UNC If we can't recruit our own state, we damn well better keep beating the NC schools and stealing their recruits.
6. Georgia Tech. Another loss is going to make me wonder if Fuente will ever beat Paul Johnson.
7. Pitt. As good as beating Pat Narduzzi feels, losing to him would be insufferable.
8. BC. Remember when we played these guys for a couple of ACC titles? Neither do they.
9. Duke. Cutcliffe is due for one of his sneaky good teams again.
10. Miami. They might actually be bak. Sigh.
11. Notre Dame. I'm sure we're on their revenge tour after stealing a win in South Bend.
12. FSU. Any advantage of having all offseason to plan is counterbalanced by having no fucking clue what Willie Taggart is going to throw at us.
Comments
Whoever is the worst team all the way down to the best team. Can't stand losing to teams we have no business losing to. UVA is going to beat us sooner or later, so I won't be the most angry/upset when it does happen.
UF's winning streak over Kentucky is over twice as long as our winning streak over UVA. Let's not sell ourselves short.
If Notre Dame can beat Navy for 4 decades straight then we can probably beat UVA until I'm in the dirt.
I would switch GT and UNC but yeah, you pretty much nailed it.
Allow me to give my politically uncorrect opinion on these games. If you take offense to anything said, that was my intention.
Angriest
1 - W&M - Nope, the hell with that, not losing to another D2 school. Especially one as shitty as them.
2 - ODU - These a-holes actually think they're the next great power team of this region. We need to bury these guys to remind them how small a fish they are in this very large pond.
3 - Virginia - They legitimately might be the worst school in the bowl subdivision this year and for the near future. And no seersucker popped collar croakie on Costas wearing fratboy douchebag deserves to have joy in the football season. Double Screw them.
4 - ECU - Cause screw em, that's why. Hate these goddamn purple pirates and the "think we're far more important than we really are" fans that ride in with em. Nah, burn the ground and salt the ashes. Make them beg for the series to be canceled.
5 - GT - SCREW YOU VAGINA NECK PAUL JOHNSON. Dear God, just the thought of this shitty ass team triggers me. Nothing more exciting than run-run-run-run-run-run-run-halftime-run-run-run-run-run-ballgame.
6 - UNC - If you lived here, you'd know. Only reason its not tied with Virginia is because Virginia fans are still smug despite the annual prostate exam we give them and UNC really doesn't give a shit if the ball isn't round. But no, we need to house these cheatin bastards.
7 - Pitt - Narduzzi in his native habitat. Its like a horror show written by a sarcastic Stephen King. The thought of his smug happiness after a potential win is enough to kick a puppy in the face.
8 - BC - If Lefty is the reason our season goes to crap, I swear to god.....
9 - Miami - Screw them. Screw the turnover chain. Screw the swag. Screw the Bakness. They ain't done shit in 15 years and now people want to act like they the second coming of the Jimmy Johnson dynasty? Nah, bury these a-holes.
10 - Duke - Cutcliffe... Nice guy. But its still podunk Duke. Their football stadium is smaller than our lower bowl, and it will be filled with 90% Hokies during this game. This should be a cakewalk, why hasn't Duke learned this by now? Stop trying, their success is bad for the conference, just go away. Can't wait til Cut retires so they can go back to being a doormat pushover.
11 - FSU - The. God. Damn. Toma. Hawk. Chop. Over. And. Over. And. Over. And. Over... No... Not again. Bury that hatchet so far up their anal cavities they can pick their teeth with the stone.
12 - ND - The ACC member but not really ACC member thinks they can come into our house after dicking us over time after time after time in the past without our fans making life a living hell for them? Oh, but ND treated so well in South Bend. Yeah, just remember they're the reason Mike Vick's last VT game was in Jacksonville and not in Tempe. They're the reason we got bumped back a bowl slot in 2016. And then remember all that jawing and smug trash talk they made in the ACC Tournament? Yeah, nah... Bury these guys.
Hmmm.... looks like all the losses would make me angry. Good to know.
I relate to this way more than I should
You forgot a 60 and an 80 yard pass play.
You nailed it.
These two in particular gave me good jollies:
I was hoping to do some hatin' on UVA this year, but it seems you've already destroyed them 4 months before the season even starts. Well done.
1. William and Mary - never again
1a. UVA - insane that losing to them has become arguably more embarrassing than a loss to W&M
1b. Georgia Tech - tired of good seasons being ruined by Paul Johnson. Would especially suck on a Thursday night.
1c. ODU - better than people think but shouldn't compete with us
1d. ECU - Losing at home to average teams needs to stop.
1e. Duke - Again. Losing at home to average teams needs to stop.
1f. BC - LOSING AT HOME TO AVERAGE TEAMS NEEDS TO STOP
1g. UNC - Obviously, losing at home pisses me off more than anything else so that's why they fell to here.
1h. Pitt - Hate losing to Narduzzi but at Pitt is always tough for us.
1i. Miami - There's a chance we have a lot to lose in this game. Irrationally, I'd put them at number 1.
1j. Notre Dame - Could be a huge win for the program because I have a feeling they are going to be good this year.
1k. FSU - Oddly confident about this game, but losing week one blows. Wait all summer for football and then start the year off with an L and i'll be pissed. Especially on National TV and having to hear about FSU all week afterwards.
Losing sucks period. If somehow we run the table up to the Miami game and lose that one, then it's 2005 all over again for me and will be high on my all time list.
15-0
I'll mad if we lose any of these games.
Did access really used to not be a verb? Biggest revelation of the day.
not sure I'd take calvin's word for...well, anything
1. Virginia - just imagine how smug their fans would be. Just imagine LeSabre. JUST IMAGINE IT.
2. William & Mary - pretty self explanatory
3. ODU - you wanna talk about a huge recruiting derailment?
4. ECU - sick of the pirates, just so sick of them.
5. Georgia Tech - 3 years in a row is completely unacceptable.
...everybody else.
You only ranked the preseason games.
the exhibition games
GT.
Some cutesy bullshit play calling cost us that damn game last year. I am still pretty upset about it.
I'll bucket them into tiers.
Tier One - How Could We Lose to Such A Weak Team? They're Second Rate: W&M, ECU, ODU, UVA
Tier Two - I Would Have Expected A Win And It's Dumb That We Lost: Duke, UNC, BC, GT, Pitt
Tier Three - Contender/Pretender Status Was On The Line And We Were The Pretenders: Miami, ND
Tier Four - Winning This Would Have Been A Fam Thread For Sure: FSU
Spot on, my thinking is pretty close.
I see three tiers in this schedule, ranked generally from most unacceptable losses to least:
1. UVA, W&M, ODU, ECU - we better win all of these
2. The toss ups: GT, UNC, Duke, Pitt, BC
The most angering part of the schedule each year for me. Seriously, look at those teams and tell me they don't all annoy the crap out of you. The worst part is, on paper we should beat these teams, but they all have caused us trouble. History says we lose at least one of these as the annual WTF head scratcher. Out of this tier, I would be most upset if we can't finally get one against GT. We have flat out imploded against them two years in a row now. We need to fix that this year.
Tier 3 - the marquee games: FSU, ND, Miami
We will likely be underdogs in each, and on paper probably shouldn't win any of them. However, considering our general hopes and wishes for the overall progression of this program, I will be pretty disappointed if we can't steal at least one win here. 2-1 would be outstanding, but we need at least one big win out of this group. 8-4, going 0-3 here and losing the annual head scratcher from tier two seems like a strong possibility.
OK, this is where I am.
Agree 100%.
I hate that the toss ups are, in fact, toss ups, but until we regularly beat all those teams every year, they'll remain worrisome for me.
GT and FSU potential losses are way higher for me. GT because they're bitches and we've lost two years in a row to them, FSU because that's so Virginia Tech to lose on Labor Day to a soft-ass high-rated team like FSU.
I think I hate losing to Miami the worst out of anyone on the schedule. I have too many ND fan-friends now that I don't care to think about those consequences. A UVA loss...I'm going off-line for a long, longggg time. Like, stumble outta the woods 5 years later like Wolverine off line.
That gave me a good laugh while also understanding your exact sentiment. That would be truly awful.
I have been irrationally angry during the last two GT games, I think that would be top 3 for me, even though there would be more embarrassing possibilities.
Fuck there isn't a game up there I'd be chill with losing, but here are the ones that top the list for me:
GT- FUCK NO. They kept us away from 10-2 the past two years. Fuck Paul Johnson and their stupid ass scheme, fuck that they teach their players to injure opponents. This is the biggest for me.
UVA- Obligatory
Pitt- I fucking hate Narduzzi more than any other coach out there and I hate a lot of coaches.
FSU- After we win let's smash that Lamborghini to a thousand pieces. Feel like I don't need to say this but: overrated, entitled, soft, less with more, covered in ESPN slober. I actually like Taggart but he's waist deep in a cesspool culture.
UNC- They may be hibernating now but have no doubts they are one of the most annoying fan bases around. So glad Fuente makes them a top priority to beat every year.
Notre Dame- Brian Kelly
Da U- More annoying, less pervasive, and less successful version of FSU
As a long suffering hokie fan, I don't like the way this schedule lays out at all. Too many of the kinds of traps that we've fallen for in the past. For example, at first glance, pbbbbttt, W&M, gimme win. Oh. Wait. Shit. Is that the Saturday after a YUUUUUGE season opener on labor day outside of blacksburg against a shitty local 1AA team? I think somebody around here had a dream about that once.
Next, anybody who thinks we get through ND, UNCheat, and chinballs without a loss is on glue (although I really like GT on a thursday after a saturday off. The last time I read years ago, they're historically bad when they play a team coming off a long week.).*
Finally, getting UVA on a kinda short week after Miami sucks. A part of me hopes that we lose somewhere before that game (which, I think we will) because the emotional letdown from losing to Miami while 10-0 pretty much guarantees that the streak comes to an end. (I'm old school, hopes and dreams for a successful Hokie season go, in order: 1. beat UVA. 2. Bowl game. 3....actually those are the only important ones).
*because I like to cite my sources, look, it's chinballs having a meltdown because too many teams get to play them after a bye.
Amen, brother. Check those two boxes and the worst the off-season can throw at you is the inevitable "what-ifs" which might suck, but in the end you still can hold your head high and claim being a football school. Fail to do so and the real offseason depression hits.
Your ability to be negative about how the schedule is for the Hokies is impressive considering the general consensus was it's pretty favorable when it was released.
a lot of people have FSU way down at the bottom of the list. but not me. they're like #4 for me behind W&M,ODU AND ECU. I by no means want another "mission complete" where we just win one big game and the rest of the season is 500 football but we MUST WIN BIG GAMES ON NATIONAL TV. that game is way more important to me that the rest of the ACC schedule and maybe tripping up in a game we shouldn't lose.
Sorry, but losing to UVa would be humiliating, even if only we and they knew about it.
1-12..GT.. Bud Foster vs. a team that runs the ball 98% of the time... no brainer right? Page 1 of the Bud philosophy is to force teams to be "one dimensional". Well these assholes do that themselves. Yes they are "efficient" in very deep advanced stats on "yards passing per broken down desperation pass after trying to run".. but fuck them- they run the ball every fucking play and then pop a big pass on us to a wide open 6'07 receiver with no other receptions in ACC play. Georgia always kicks their ass, Clemson always kicks their ass, Miami always kicks their ass, but "DBU" loses to them on broken passes. Nice. And why don't we just "outscore" them with their 10th ranked ACC defense? Oh, Frank and Leoffler.... oh wait.. nope VT has an "offensive" head coach now and "competent" OC right? Well fuck we still lose. I don't want to hear any bullshit like "bud held them below their average". Or josh Jackson is dealing with 2,456 injuries or any other bullshit. Duke and uva beat these fucking jokers last year, but they pop DBU for bombs... yeah fuck me and fuck them.
If GT can throw the ball, even if it's only against us, then they aren't one-dimensional. If it's only against us, it just means we aren't doing OUR job.
GT under Paul Johnson runs the ball 98% of the time. That is the definition of one dimensional. Don't @ me please. 98% run to 2% pass.
A loss to Georgia Tech?
I would be pissed at a loss to anyone else, but not nearly on that same level.
1. Virginia: Should the Hoos snap Tech's win streak, the subsequent offseason would suck.
2. Old Dominion: The fact Virginia Tech is even playing at ODU boils my blood. Forget lose, I will be upset if the Hokies don't put 60 on the Monarchs. It's an opportunity for Tech to show off in front of the 757 (read recruits) and hope it does just that.
3. William & Mary: The only solace in a loss to the Tribe is it would make JMU less special.
4a. Georgia Tech: Paul Johnson is living rent free in Justin Fuente's head. Fuente needs to evict him this season.
4b. Miami: The even-year seasons in which Virginia Tech plays both Miami and Georgia Tech at home are the best opportunities to win the Coastal Division. A loss to either will put a damper on the Hokies' hopes.
6. East Carolina: This series is still happening isn't it?
7. Pitt:
8. North Carolina: Would cease hurricane jokes indefinitely.
9. Boston College: Virginia Tech should never lose to Boston College in football, even though the Eagles should be sneaky good this season.
10. Duke: Shouldn't lose to a basketball school.
11. Notre Dame: I'll be in Lane Stadium for this game, so it's almost assuredly a loss. I've had plenty of time to come to grips with that.
12. Florida State: It's a road opener against a much more talented team. While I believe the defense will get better throughout the season, it's depleted and inexperienced out of the gate. Beyond the offense laying a complete egg, or in-game decisions blowing a win, there's nothing much that would upset me here.
I EXPECT us to defeat WMU, Ecu & LOLUVA. The obvious answer is f-k damn GagTech! F-k dammit, if the team shits the game AGAIN for a 3rd consecutive time, there will (& should) be MULTIPLE postgame vent threads. With the talent our team possesses, absolutely INEXCUSABLE the last 2 seasons. The series itself should not even be this close or narrow. I want the jackets fucking OBLITERATED.
After that would be ND. You'd think after kicking their asses in their own stadium in the 1st matchup would garner a smidgen of respect & acknowledgement from both them & their fan base. Nope. Apparently, even in defeat, they are "still superior to us." Well fuck that & them. I guess we'll just have to tear them a new arsehole again and rub more salt in it. I want them to feel afraid & intimidated.
I also EXPECT us to defeat UNCheat & Pitt.