OT: Need help settling a marital debate over cucumbers

It's been been 3 straight hours of my wife complaining about how I ate a cucumber. I got home from work and needed a snack before dinner was ready so I got out half a cucumber that I peeled a day ago but hadn't cut up yet, and just started eating it. My wife, who hates cucumbers in general, flipped out on me for not slicing up the cucumber. Why get a knife dirty right?
She has googled how to eat a cucumber, and showed me the top 20+ ways all were top slice them. I don't understand how I got her so upset. So is it wrong to not cut up a cucumber and eat it?

Edit: Fixed martial to marital

EDIT2: The debate has evolved to whether a cucumber is a fruit or vegetable (it's a fruit). And that fruits can't be green (honeydew). I think I might be winning this!

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Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

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His decision was made after a phone call with longtime Virginia Tech assistant coach Bud Foster. All Foster told him was, "We win. They don't."

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-What we do is, if we need that extra push, you know what we do? -Put it up to fully dipped? -Fully dipped. Exactly. It's dork magic.

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I can imagine no more rewarding a career. And any man who may be asked in this century what he did to make his life worthwhile, I think can respond with a good deal of pride and satisfaction:
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Tweedy can run like a dadgum antelope or whatever. I like to use scalded dog. Do antelopes lumber? Cheetah, OK. He runs like a cheetah. He's fast. - Bud Foster

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Maroon helmet with orange gobbler logo is the best helmet.....change my mind.

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-What we do is, if we need that extra push, you know what we do? -Put it up to fully dipped? -Fully dipped. Exactly. It's dork magic.

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Maroon helmet with orange gobbler logo is the best helmet.....change my mind.

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I can imagine no more rewarding a career. And any man who may be asked in this century what he did to make his life worthwhile, I think can respond with a good deal of pride and satisfaction:
“I served in the United States Navy"

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No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

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To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

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To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

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No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

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To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

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To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

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2 time Longwood grad married to a Hokie.

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No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

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Take the shortest route to the ball and arrive in bad humor.

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"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

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"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

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“You got one guy going boom, one guy going whack, and one guy not getting in the endzone.”
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"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

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“You got one guy going boom, one guy going whack, and one guy not getting in the endzone.”
― John Madden (describing VT's offense?)

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"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

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To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

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"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

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To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

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"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

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"Nope, launch him into the sun and fart on him on the way up"
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"11-0, bro"
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“You got one guy going boom, one guy going whack, and one guy not getting in the endzone.”
― John Madden (describing VT's offense?)

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"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

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"Nope, launch him into the sun and fart on him on the way up"
-gobble gobble chumps

"11-0, bro"
-Hunter Carpenter (probably)

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"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

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To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

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"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

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To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

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To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

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2 time Longwood grad married to a Hokie.

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“You got one guy going boom, one guy going whack, and one guy not getting in the endzone.”
― John Madden (describing VT's offense?)

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Even when you get skunked; fishing never lets you down. 🎣

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Maroon helmet with orange gobbler logo is the best helmet.....change my mind.

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Maroon helmet with orange gobbler logo is the best helmet.....change my mind.

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Now finish up them taters; I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.

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Maroon helmet with orange gobbler logo is the best helmet.....change my mind.

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I can imagine no more rewarding a career. And any man who may be asked in this century what he did to make his life worthwhile, I think can respond with a good deal of pride and satisfaction:
“I served in the United States Navy"

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A decade on TKP and it's been time well spent.

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Maroon helmet with orange gobbler logo is the best helmet.....change my mind.