Mack Browns plays up his age, drops his fork at a restaurant, and looks down the waitress' blouse when she picks it up, then only tips her one Werther's.
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Mack Brown takes a handful of ketchup and mustard packs at every store/fast food place he visits, then makes his wife fill up the big bottles at home pack by pack.
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Mack Brown drove his UT teams 35 MPH in the left lane to try to keep the game from passing him by. He came back to NC because he heard its okay to drive slow in the left lane there.
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Did you see the "Camp in state parks, not in the left lane" signs on the way back to NC? I had a good laugh the first time. At least they're calling people out on it. I'm for em!
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Using passive aggressive methods, you not only advertise the State's delightful parks, you also call out those who drive inappropriately in the left lane
Why can't you people move o-o-ver?!
Your task is often thankless, but the signs you produce not only tell us how long it is to the next rest stop, but how far past the Arby's we'll have to drive to find food that won't destroy our digestive systems.
How is roast beef so destru-uh-ctive?
So, crack open an ice cold Bud Light, sign designer, because we all need to slowly convert the miles remaining to Roanoke so we can tell how long we have to where we're really driving.
Mister VeeDot Sign Deee-Siii-iigner!
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side rant - the highway signs with all the places to eat and gas stations off that particular exit need to show you the distance to those businesses while you're actually on the highway instead of putting that information on the signs after you've already committed and have gotten off the exit.
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To piggy-back on this, places shouldn't be allowed to put their logos on those signs if they're more than a mile or mile and a half from the exit. There is nothing worse than being on a long drive, needing to stop to eat, passing a few exits that have things right off the road because you're hankerin' for specific grub and can wait, seeing the spot you have a craving for and pulling off only to realize it's 3 goddamned miles from the exit.
*Unless the exit is in the middle of BFE and it's the ONLY place to get gas or eat.
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Sign on I-85 S heading into Durham says Gas Station at this exit. My fuel light was on, so I turned off. It was 5+ miles down the road - was not open 24-7, and was closed. Got down to 8 miles of gas left before I found another station.
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FuN fAcT: All cars are programmed to show you less gas than you have and also don't take into account your reserve tank. Usually at 0 miles to go, you still have about 1 to 3 gallons left.
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Fun fact: reliable level measuring of sloshing fluids requires three sensors minimum. This isn't cost effective for vehicles so they throw a single sensor in there on the same float that drives the fuel gauge sending unit and then add a fudge factor. Add to that estimates on fuel consumption based on how you drive and it's all crap anyway
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Yes, I had to rudely interrupt my boyfriend, who was talking at the time, to point it out. This was while we were actively behind someone that was camping in the left lane and creating a rolling roadblock. That sign maker is the real MVP.
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The My Dad has Diabetes thing is a running joke here, which I played off of by stating My dads a truck driver. Which is true. But he doesn't diabetes. Just high BP.
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Mack Brown moves into peaceful neighborhoods with the sole purpose of starting an HOA to stir things up and make the previous residents live like it's his own retirement community. .
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Mack Brown runs the property management company that the HOA uses, then decides to skip town and scam three local neighborhoods out of $650,000 which prompts the HOA to retroactively increase residents' 2019 dues by $32 with the potential for more in 2020.
He also swears he has no assets, but keeps detailed spreadsheets of the money he stole.
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Mack Brown thinks people are talking about him when they reference "Mattress Mack", but for the life of him he can't remember placing a $3.5m bet on the Astros to win the World Series...but he just goes with it and can't wait to collect his $7.5m
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Mack Brown was once nominated for Used Car Salesman of the Year and he didn't even have Dealers License. At the award show, he stated his secrete was wheedling instead of whittling down his prices.
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Did you know when Mack Brown was a babysitter for frank beamer he muttered as he winked "you know children are the leading cause of old age"...as Frank's folks chuckled and cautiously walked out the door
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Mack Brown will assign a bench player to stand next to him while holding an oversized golf umbrella above his head all game to avoid getting his skin all "pruney".
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You better refresh yourself on the great legacy of Paul Brown! How dare you even think about besmirching the impeccable history of the great Cleveland franchise by association with Mack Brown.
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Mack Brown is the guy who says "let's come in early tomorrow to work on this" and then shows up at normal time, and laughs while asking if you thought he was serious...
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Mack Brown gets the walking farts constantly. But, he's so old he can't hear them. This forces everyone to struggle keeping a straight face around him for fear of hurting his feelings.
Mack Brown talks to the cashier about each of the items he purchased while checking out.
Mack Brown has no dietary restrictions, however he insists all foods in the office must be sugar free. He thinks it's better for you.
Mack Brown's coach brother has a cooler name than he does.
Mack Brown washes ziploc bags for reuse. He refuses to retire them until they're at least 5 years old.
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Comments
Mack Brown can't say Motuapoaka.
oh to have Moe Tepooka starting again for us these days
Yeah. I miss Mowa To Wookie.
Let the Hokie win
Logged in to say this and it's the first comment.
RIP: Moe-too-puh-woo-shoe
Mack Browns plays up his age, drops his fork at a restaurant, and looks down the waitress' blouse when she picks it up, then only tips her one Werther's.
Mack Brown uses the word "blouse" in casual conversation.
And trousers.
Mack Brown 100% actually says trousers when referring to pants
What about pantalones?
You mean slacks.
He calls jeans Dungarees
That's because he has dung in his dungarees.
Mack Brown plans to start Vince Young on Saturday.
Mack Brown's first name is actually William
And all he wants to do is have a little fun before he dies.
ACC is now home to Old William and Small William
And I wonder if he's ever had a day of fun in his whole life...
And he's plain ugly to me.
He was hoping to get the prefix moniker "big" since he's older than McDonalds but he timed it wrong
Mack Brown wants to be Roy Williams but doesn't stand a chance.
Mack Brown is at least 100 years old
Mack wears a Peterbilt hat in public
Mack Brown doesn't whine about taking over a 2-9 program
Mack Brown once left in the middle of a football game that he was calling to catch a plane.
It's better than leaving a game you are coaching because you shit yourself like Joe Paterno.
Mack Brown took a horse and buggy to his first football game
Mack Brown uses a trophy he won at a different school to recruit at his new school.
. . . which is also his older school.
Mack Brown requested that Nike custom make a pair of tan, orthopedic Velcro shoes for him. Because that's what he likes.
Coincidence? UNC switches to "Jordan Brand", hires Mack, and then release the Jordan Mall-Walker.
This, except Mack demanded his be tan colored.
Mack Brown thinks tan clothing and accessories helps him lose weight and calls it "light brown".
he actually calls it "nude" with a twinkle in his eye and a slight smirk
Mack Brown orders the burnt orange Mall Walkers using a fake account with the user name Vince Roy McCoy......
Mack Brown takes a handful of ketchup and mustard packs at every store/fast food place he visits, then makes his wife fill up the big bottles at home pack by pack.
And can't wait to get home to have meatloaf.
Mack Brown doesn't understand why everyone loves coach Cut but hates on him, he's old and has werthers too.
What does Mack Brown smell like? Depends...
Mack Brown originally wanted Bobby Bowden to be his OC, but Bowden refused.
Mack Brown drove his UT teams 35 MPH in the left lane to try to keep the game from passing him by. He came back to NC because he heard its okay to drive slow in the left lane there.
I came here to post something similar. I'm glad I did my due diligence first.
Did you see the "Camp in state parks, not in the left lane" signs on the way back to NC? I had a good laugh the first time. At least they're calling people out on it. I'm for em!
Saw those this weekend. Whoever is responsible deserves their own Bud Light, Real American Hero commercial. I salute you, VDOT sign person.
Reeealll men of geeen-i-yussss
We salute you, VDOT Sign Designer
Mister Sign Designer Extrodinaire!
Using passive aggressive methods, you not only advertise the State's delightful parks, you also call out those who drive inappropriately in the left lane
Why can't you people move o-o-ver?!
Your task is often thankless, but the signs you produce not only tell us how long it is to the next rest stop, but how far past the Arby's we'll have to drive to find food that won't destroy our digestive systems.
How is roast beef so destru-uh-ctive?
So, crack open an ice cold Bud Light, sign designer, because we all need to slowly convert the miles remaining to Roanoke so we can tell how long we have to where we're really driving.
Mister VeeDot Sign Deee-Siii-iigner!
Hahaha this is awesome! Wish I could give more than 1 leg for this
PLAID pls
side rant - the highway signs with all the places to eat and gas stations off that particular exit need to show you the distance to those businesses while you're actually on the highway instead of putting that information on the signs after you've already committed and have gotten off the exit.
To piggy-back on this, places shouldn't be allowed to put their logos on those signs if they're more than a mile or mile and a half from the exit. There is nothing worse than being on a long drive, needing to stop to eat, passing a few exits that have things right off the road because you're hankerin' for specific grub and can wait, seeing the spot you have a craving for and pulling off only to realize it's 3 goddamned miles from the exit.
*Unless the exit is in the middle of BFE and it's the ONLY place to get gas or eat.
Sign on I-85 S heading into Durham says Gas Station at this exit. My fuel light was on, so I turned off. It was 5+ miles down the road - was not open 24-7, and was closed. Got down to 8 miles of gas left before I found another station.
Sounds about right.
I routinely push my Jeep to "0 miles to empty"
FuN fAcT: All cars are programmed to show you less gas than you have and also don't take into account your reserve tank. Usually at 0 miles to go, you still have about 1 to 3 gallons left.
Fun fact: reliable level measuring of sloshing fluids requires three sensors minimum. This isn't cost effective for vehicles so they throw a single sensor in there on the same float that drives the fuel gauge sending unit and then add a fudge factor. Add to that estimates on fuel consumption based on how you drive and it's all crap anyway
I never claimed it was reliable... But I ain't dead yet...
Yes, I had to rudely interrupt my boyfriend, who was talking at the time, to point it out. This was while we were actively behind someone that was camping in the left lane and creating a rolling roadblock. That sign maker is the real MVP.
Fuck truck drivers and the rigs they rode in on...
OT I know but I was triggered. Accept my apologies.
My dad is a truck driver.
Were you a long snapper in high school?
Snare drummer.
Does he have diabetes?
No, just high blood pressure.
I don't get it. Reference?
The My Dad has Diabetes thing is a running joke here, which I played off of by stating My dads a truck driver. Which is true. But he doesn't diabetes. Just high BP.
Lol. OK. I hadn't paid enough attention. My apologies for not TKPing hard enough.
Mack Brown thinks QBs make better LBs than TEs
amateur.
Mack Brown is using the North Carolina Gator Bowl win over VT in 1998 as a recruiting tool in 2019.
Mack Brown has tabbed freshman QB Sam Howell as the head coach in waiting so that he'll never, ever leave.
Mack Brown thinks horns down is disrespectful to the University of Texas.
Whatcha think Mack??
Mack Brown thinks he's a back up dancer for Madona.
That's an interesting way to do the macarena
Mack Brown doesn't use tongs to pick up his bread at the hotel breakfast buffet.
Mack Brown refuses to courtesy flush. And he calls it a Big MacBrown.
Logged in just to upvote this hilarity.
"Logged in"
Mack Brown moves into peaceful neighborhoods with the sole purpose of starting an HOA to stir things up and make the previous residents live like it's his own retirement community. .
He also patrols the neighborhood at minimum speed on a golf cart looking for "violations"
And has speed bumps installed along with mid-block stop signs.
....but being from UNC, he can't find any.
Mack Brown runs the property management company that the HOA uses, then decides to skip town and scam three local neighborhoods out of $650,000 which prompts the HOA to retroactively increase residents' 2019 dues by $32 with the potential for more in 2020.
He also swears he has no assets, but keeps detailed spreadsheets of the money he stole.
Here's a helping of context
I can't even come up with a good hatin on for Mack Brown. He's just... he bores me.
So:
Mack Brown is a walking penis wrinkle.
wrenis pinkle
Penis wrinkle anagrams to leper skin win.
Mack Brown wears a Fedora on his penis wrinkle.
And it has a picture of Larry Fedora on it
Mack Brown is like if Golden Corral was a person.
Cheap, gross, and his buns are sweet and tasty? ...you perv.
Phew, I thought you were going to mention something about this:
Bring that heavenly oasis to me
So, you're a big fan of the All-you-can-eat Bacteria Fountain?
Mack Brown loves the mashed potatoes at K&W Cafeteria
Mack Brown makes the players do their pregame team dinner at K&W
I will not tolerate K&W shade.
Hands down best in show for quality/value on pintos, collards, and coconut cream pie.
Kanes and Walkers makes good mashed potatoes
Kanes and Walkers? Sounds like a place Mack Brown needs to shop at.
Mack Brown is a Ferris wheel enthusiast. When asked why he laughed and said he loved them because you always end back where you started.
Mack Brown is claiming he beat every team UGa has beaten this year because he beat USCe who beat Georgia.
Mack Brown thinks he can Fancy Gap:
Mack Brown is an affront to this genre of dance
Mack Brown only returned to UNC for the quality educational program they provide
Mack Brown coached against Lou Holtz back when they both had their original teeth.
, brother.
Mack Brown thinks people are talking about him when they reference "Mattress Mack", but for the life of him he can't remember placing a $3.5m bet on the Astros to win the World Series...but he just goes with it and can't wait to collect his $7.5m
Mack Brown was once nominated for Used Car Salesman of the Year and he didn't even have Dealers License. At the award show, he stated his secrete was wheedling instead of whittling down his prices.
MACK BROWN SHITS HIS PANTS REGULARLY AND TYPES IN ALL CAPS AND NEVER USES PUNCTUATION WHEN SHARING OBVIOUS RUSSIAN TROLL MEMES ON THE FACEBOOK
I have a friend that screams "now that's a mack brown" everytime he takes a dump
Mack Brown's first recruiting violation came from a telegraph machine.
Mack Brown had to return to UNC to retake his (fake) classes.
Mack brown pinches the stewardesses's asses and asks if they wanna join the mile high club.
And he calls flight attendants stewardesses.
even the Male ones?
Mack Browns first offer letter was carved in a stone
Mack Brown is a cup in search of two girls.
His favorite dish at IHOP are the blue waffles
"Two girls one cup"
Mack Brown thinks Texas BBQ is better.
Soulless bastard
Mack Brown is excited to play an FCS team this weekend...I don't think I did that right!
Mack Brown "forgot" to resign from the broadcast booth.
Mack Brown has been the president of the Mark Morrison fan club for the last 22 years.
Mack Brown tells recruits he has a hamburger named after him at Burger King.
Did you know when Mack Brown was a babysitter for frank beamer he muttered as he winked "you know children are the leading cause of old age"...as Frank's folks chuckled and cautiously walked out the door
Mack thinks his hemorrhoids are PEDs
Mack Brown thinks bye weeks are for swinging couples.
As a poor golfer, Mack Brown won't retire until he's 90 because he think's he'll have a better shot of shooting his age.
Mack Brown makes 16 year old boys feel uncomfortable on his in home visits.
If the weather changes....
Mack Brown will assign a bench player to stand next to him while holding an oversized golf umbrella above his head all game to avoid getting his skin all "pruney".
Mack Brown's skin already is all "pruney".
Mack Brown leaves broadcasts in the 4th quarter before the game is over.
No really he does!
https://www.facebook.com/awfulannouncing/videos/tbt-mack-brown-leaves-br...
Mack Brown drinks.
Damn and I thought I scanned this thoroughly enough.
Mack Brown did those viewers a huge favor
My thoughts on Mack Brown summed up:
Mack Brown introduces himself as Brown. . . Mack Brown.
Mack Brown pushes his dog around in a stroller.
Mack Brown uses the self checkout lane to skip the line but then plays up his age to get the attendant to scan everything for him anyway.
Mack Brown under-microwaves his popcorn because he thinks "the unpopped kernels are corn's version of Werther's."
Mack Brown filed a petition to change UNCs colors to Carolina Brown.
At parties, Mack Brown claims the Cleveland Browns were named after him
Mack Brown, old enough to make me wonder if this should be fact-checked.
You better refresh yourself on the great legacy of Paul Brown! How dare you even think about besmirching the impeccable history of the great Cleveland franchise by association with Mack Brown.
Mack Brown is the guy who says "let's come in early tomorrow to work on this" and then shows up at normal time, and laughs while asking if you thought he was serious...
Mack Brown enjoys blue waffles
Mack Brown gets the walking farts constantly. But, he's so old he can't hear them. This forces everyone to struggle keeping a straight face around him for fear of hurting his feelings.
Mack Brown talks to the cashier about each of the items he purchased while checking out.
Mack Brown has no dietary restrictions, however he insists all foods in the office must be sugar free. He thinks it's better for you.
Mack Brown's coach brother has a cooler name than he does.
Mack Brown washes ziploc bags for reuse. He refuses to retire them until they're at least 5 years old.
Mack Brown went back into coaching because he could not take all the criticism and mockery he received for his awful broadcasting.
Eau de Mack: a fragrance by jump man; accentuated by crass hints of nonenal, stagnant farts and senility.
Mack wears Buster Browns because he gets them for free.
Mack Brown is now 37 - 2 after coming out of a bye week. FAM!