Hatin' On: Mack Brown

Mack Brown was only hired as UNC head coach a second time around because his name anagrams to Mr Back Now

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Mack Brown can't say Motuapoaka.

oh to have Moe Tepooka starting again for us these days

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

Yeah. I miss Mowa To Wookie.

2 time Longwood grad married to a Hokie.

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

Let the Hokie win

Hokie Club member since 2017

Logged in to say this and it's the first comment.

RIP: Moe-too-puh-woo-shoe

If you play it, they will win.

"How the ass pocket will be used, I do not know. Alls I know is, the ass pocket will be used." -The BoD

Mack Browns plays up his age, drops his fork at a restaurant, and looks down the waitress' blouse when she picks it up, then only tips her one Werther's.

Whatever. It was one bad year.

Seasonal Brew means High ABV for football season and standard the rest of the year.

Mack Brown uses the word "blouse" in casual conversation.

And trousers.

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@BuryHokie #ThanksFrank

Mack Brown 100% actually says trousers when referring to pants

Outside it's night time, but inside it's LeDay

What about pantalones?

"What are you going to do, stab me? - Quote from Man Stabbed

You mean slacks.

Click here to destroy wall.

"What are you going to do, stab me? - Quote from Man Stabbed

He calls jeans Dungarees

That's because he has dung in his dungarees.

Mack Brown plans to start Vince Young on Saturday.

Mack Brown's first name is actually William

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

And all he wants to do is have a little fun before he dies.

If you play it, they will win.

"How the ass pocket will be used, I do not know. Alls I know is, the ass pocket will be used." -The BoD

ACC is now home to Old William and Small William

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

And I wonder if he's ever had a day of fun in his whole life...

2 time Longwood grad married to a Hokie.

And he's plain ugly to me.

2 time Longwood grad married to a Hokie.

He was hoping to get the prefix moniker "big" since he's older than McDonalds but he timed it wrong

Hokie Club member since 2017

Mack Brown wants to be Roy Williams but doesn't stand a chance.

Mack Brown is at least 100 years old

Born in Charlottesville, Reborn in Blacksburg

Mack wears a Peterbilt hat in public

'Its easy to grin, when your ship comes in, and you've got the stock market beat,
but the man worthwhile, is the man who can smile, when his shorts are too tight in the seat'

Mack Brown doesn't whine about taking over a 2-9 program

Mack Brown once left in the middle of a football game that he was calling to catch a plane.

It's better than leaving a game you are coaching because you shit yourself like Joe Paterno.

"Sooner or later, if man is ever to be worthy of his destiny, we must fill our heart with tolerance."
-Stan Lee

"Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing."
-Ron Swanson

"11-0, bro"
-Hunter Carpenter (probably)

Mack Brown took a horse and buggy to his first football game

uva - the taint of the ACC
XL Jockstraps 34 - Ascots 31
#15 Straight

Mack Brown uses a trophy he won at a different school to recruit at his new school.

. . . which is also his older school.

Mack Brown requested that Nike custom make a pair of tan, orthopedic Velcro shoes for him. Because that's what he likes.

Coincidence? UNC switches to "Jordan Brand", hires Mack, and then release the Jordan Mall-Walker.

This, except Mack demanded his be tan colored.

Mack Brown thinks tan clothing and accessories helps him lose weight and calls it "light brown".

he actually calls it "nude" with a twinkle in his eye and a slight smirk

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

Mack Brown orders the burnt orange Mall Walkers using a fake account with the user name Vince Roy McCoy......

Mack Brown takes a handful of ketchup and mustard packs at every store/fast food place he visits, then makes his wife fill up the big bottles at home pack by pack.

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@BuryHokie #ThanksFrank

And can't wait to get home to have meatloaf.

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@BuryHokie #ThanksFrank

Mack Brown doesn't understand why everyone loves coach Cut but hates on him, he's old and has werthers too.

1-0 every week

What does Mack Brown smell like? Depends...

Mack Brown originally wanted Bobby Bowden to be his OC, but Bowden refused.

My 2019 Season Challenge: only comment with Star Wars memes.

If you see these characters, they represent specific people (as of Oct. 2):

Palpatine (Fuente) || Vader (Hooker) || Kylo Ren (QP4) || Lando (Deablo)

Mack Brown drove his UT teams 35 MPH in the left lane to try to keep the game from passing him by. He came back to NC because he heard its okay to drive slow in the left lane there.

Sometimes we live no particular way but our own

I came here to post something similar. I'm glad I did my due diligence first.

Did you see the "Camp in state parks, not in the left lane" signs on the way back to NC? I had a good laugh the first time. At least they're calling people out on it. I'm for em!

Saw those this weekend. Whoever is responsible deserves their own Bud Light, Real American Hero commercial. I salute you, VDOT sign person.

If you play it, they will win.

"How the ass pocket will be used, I do not know. Alls I know is, the ass pocket will be used." -The BoD

Reeealll men of geeen-i-yussss

We salute you, VDOT Sign Designer

Mister Sign Designer Extrodinaire!

Using passive aggressive methods, you not only advertise the State's delightful parks, you also call out those who drive inappropriately in the left lane

Why can't you people move o-o-ver?!

Your task is often thankless, but the signs you produce not only tell us how long it is to the next rest stop, but how far past the Arby's we'll have to drive to find food that won't destroy our digestive systems.

How is roast beef so destru-uh-ctive?

So, crack open an ice cold Bud Light, sign designer, because we all need to slowly convert the miles remaining to Roanoke so we can tell how long we have to where we're really driving.

Mister VeeDot Sign Deee-Siii-iigner!

Hahaha this is awesome! Wish I could give more than 1 leg for this

Can't spell DBU without Bud

PLAID pls

side rant - the highway signs with all the places to eat and gas stations off that particular exit need to show you the distance to those businesses while you're actually on the highway instead of putting that information on the signs after you've already committed and have gotten off the exit.

VT Marketing Class of 2009
Current Roanoke-Hokie
Go Hokies!

To piggy-back on this, places shouldn't be allowed to put their logos on those signs if they're more than a mile or mile and a half from the exit. There is nothing worse than being on a long drive, needing to stop to eat, passing a few exits that have things right off the road because you're hankerin' for specific grub and can wait, seeing the spot you have a craving for and pulling off only to realize it's 3 goddamned miles from the exit.

*Unless the exit is in the middle of BFE and it's the ONLY place to get gas or eat.

If you play it, they will win.

"How the ass pocket will be used, I do not know. Alls I know is, the ass pocket will be used." -The BoD

Sign on I-85 S heading into Durham says Gas Station at this exit. My fuel light was on, so I turned off. It was 5+ miles down the road - was not open 24-7, and was closed. Got down to 8 miles of gas left before I found another station.

Sometimes we live no particular way but our own

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@BuryHokie #ThanksFrank

Sounds about right.

If you play it, they will win.

"How the ass pocket will be used, I do not know. Alls I know is, the ass pocket will be used." -The BoD

I routinely push my Jeep to "0 miles to empty"

FuN fAcT: All cars are programmed to show you less gas than you have and also don't take into account your reserve tank. Usually at 0 miles to go, you still have about 1 to 3 gallons left.

VT Marketing Class of 2009
Current Roanoke-Hokie
Go Hokies!

Fun fact: reliable level measuring of sloshing fluids requires three sensors minimum. This isn't cost effective for vehicles so they throw a single sensor in there on the same float that drives the fuel gauge sending unit and then add a fudge factor. Add to that estimates on fuel consumption based on how you drive and it's all crap anyway

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

I never claimed it was reliable... But I ain't dead yet...

VT Marketing Class of 2009
Current Roanoke-Hokie
Go Hokies!

Yes, I had to rudely interrupt my boyfriend, who was talking at the time, to point it out. This was while we were actively behind someone that was camping in the left lane and creating a rolling roadblock. That sign maker is the real MVP.

Fuck truck drivers and the rigs they rode in on...

OT I know but I was triggered. Accept my apologies.

My dad is a truck driver.

Were you a long snapper in high school?

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

Snare drummer.

Does he have diabetes?

"Sooner or later, if man is ever to be worthy of his destiny, we must fill our heart with tolerance."
-Stan Lee

"Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing."
-Ron Swanson

"11-0, bro"
-Hunter Carpenter (probably)

No, just high blood pressure.

I don't get it. Reference?

The My Dad has Diabetes thing is a running joke here, which I played off of by stating My dads a truck driver. Which is true. But he doesn't diabetes. Just high BP.

Lol. OK. I hadn't paid enough attention. My apologies for not TKPing hard enough.

Mack Brown thinks QBs make better LBs than TEs

amateur.

Mack Brown is using the North Carolina Gator Bowl win over VT in 1998 as a recruiting tool in 2019.

TKPhi Damn Proud
BSME 2009

Mack Brown has tabbed freshman QB Sam Howell as the head coach in waiting so that he'll never, ever leave.

Leonard. Duh.

Mack Brown thinks horns down is disrespectful to the University of Texas.

Whatcha think Mack??

Let's Go

HOKIES

Mack Brown thinks he's a back up dancer for Madona.

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@BuryHokie #ThanksFrank

That's an interesting way to do the macarena

Mack Brown doesn't use tongs to pick up his bread at the hotel breakfast buffet.

VT BSEE '98, VT MSME '01

Mack Brown refuses to courtesy flush. And he calls it a Big MacBrown.

Logged in just to upvote this hilarity.

"Logged in"

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@BuryHokie #ThanksFrank

Mack Brown moves into peaceful neighborhoods with the sole purpose of starting an HOA to stir things up and make the previous residents live like it's his own retirement community. .

He also patrols the neighborhood at minimum speed on a golf cart looking for "violations"

And has speed bumps installed along with mid-block stop signs.

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@BuryHokie #ThanksFrank

....but being from UNC, he can't find any.

Take the shortest route to the ball and arrive in bad humor.

Mack Brown runs the property management company that the HOA uses, then decides to skip town and scam three local neighborhoods out of $650,000 which prompts the HOA to retroactively increase residents' 2019 dues by $32 with the potential for more in 2020.

He also swears he has no assets, but keeps detailed spreadsheets of the money he stole.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

I can't even come up with a good hatin on for Mack Brown. He's just... he bores me.

So:

Mack Brown is a walking penis wrinkle.

wrenis pinkle

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

Penis wrinkle anagrams to leper skin win.

"I liked you guys a lot better when everybody told you you were terrible." -Justin Fuente

Mack Brown wears a Fedora on his penis wrinkle.

Tyrod did it Mikey, Tyrod did it!!

And it has a picture of Larry Fedora on it

Here lies It's a Stroman Jersey I Swear, surpassed in life by no one because he intercepted it.

Mack Brown is like if Golden Corral was a person.

The Orange and Maroon you see, that's fighting on to victory.

Cheap, gross, and his buns are sweet and tasty? ...you perv.

Phew, I thought you were going to mention something about this:

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@BuryHokie #ThanksFrank

Bring that heavenly oasis to me

So, you're a big fan of the All-you-can-eat Bacteria Fountain?

"Sooner or later, if man is ever to be worthy of his destiny, we must fill our heart with tolerance."
-Stan Lee

"Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing."
-Ron Swanson

"11-0, bro"
-Hunter Carpenter (probably)

Mack Brown loves the mashed potatoes at K&W Cafeteria

Mack Brown makes the players do their pregame team dinner at K&W

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

I will not tolerate K&W shade.

Hands down best in show for quality/value on pintos, collards, and coconut cream pie.

Leonard. Duh.

Kanes and Walkers makes good mashed potatoes

Kanes and Walkers? Sounds like a place Mack Brown needs to shop at.

Mack Brown is a Ferris wheel enthusiast. When asked why he laughed and said he loved them because you always end back where you started.

Mack Brown is claiming he beat every team UGa has beaten this year because he beat USCe who beat Georgia.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Mack Brown thinks he can Fancy Gap:

FOSTERS: Australian for defense

Mack Brown is an affront to this genre of dance

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

Mack Brown only returned to UNC for the quality educational program they provide

Mack Brown coached against Lou Holtz back when they both had their original teeth.

Click here to destroy wall.

Let's Go

HOKIES

, brother.

If you play it, they will win.

"How the ass pocket will be used, I do not know. Alls I know is, the ass pocket will be used." -The BoD

Mack Brown thinks people are talking about him when they reference "Mattress Mack", but for the life of him he can't remember placing a $3.5m bet on the Astros to win the World Series...but he just goes with it and can't wait to collect his $7.5m

Mack Brown was once nominated for Used Car Salesman of the Year and he didn't even have Dealers License. At the award show, he stated his secrete was wheedling instead of whittling down his prices.

If there is no enemy within the enemy outside can do us no harm.

MACK BROWN SHITS HIS PANTS REGULARLY AND TYPES IN ALL CAPS AND NEVER USES PUNCTUATION WHEN SHARING OBVIOUS RUSSIAN TROLL MEMES ON THE FACEBOOK

"You know when the Hokies say 'We are Virginia Tech' they're going to mean it."- Lee Corso

I have a friend that screams "now that's a mack brown" everytime he takes a dump

uva - the taint of the ACC
XL Jockstraps 34 - Ascots 31
#15 Straight

Mack Brown's first recruiting violation came from a telegraph machine.

Five star get after it 100 percent Juice Key-Playing. MAN

Mack Brown had to return to UNC to retake his (fake) classes.

Mack brown pinches the stewardesses's asses and asks if they wanna join the mile high club.

And he calls flight attendants stewardesses.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

even the Male ones?

Mack Browns first offer letter was carved in a stone

uva - the taint of the ACC
XL Jockstraps 34 - Ascots 31
#15 Straight

Mack Brown is a cup in search of two girls.

Now finish up them taters; I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.

His favorite dish at IHOP are the blue waffles

uva - the taint of the ACC
XL Jockstraps 34 - Ascots 31
#15 Straight

cup in search of two girls

"Two girls one cup"

Let's Go

HOKIES

Mack Brown thinks Texas BBQ is better.

Soulless bastard

Five star get after it 100 percent Juice Key-Playing. MAN

Mack Brown is excited to play an FCS team this weekend...I don't think I did that right!

"Take care of the little things and the big things will come."

Mack Brown "forgot" to resign from the broadcast booth.

2 time Longwood grad married to a Hokie.

Mack Brown has been the president of the Mark Morrison fan club for the last 22 years.

Mack Brown tells recruits he has a hamburger named after him at Burger King.

If there is no enemy within the enemy outside can do us no harm.

Did you know when Mack Brown was a babysitter for frank beamer he muttered as he winked "you know children are the leading cause of old age"...as Frank's folks chuckled and cautiously walked out the door

HokieHighVPI03

Mack thinks his hemorrhoids are PEDs

The first rule of Fight Club is we don't talk about turkey leg votes

Mack Brown thinks bye weeks are for swinging couples.

Tyrod did it Mikey, Tyrod did it!!

As a poor golfer, Mack Brown won't retire until he's 90 because he think's he'll have a better shot of shooting his age.

Mack Brown makes 16 year old boys feel uncomfortable on his in home visits.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

If the weather changes....

Mack Brown will assign a bench player to stand next to him while holding an oversized golf umbrella above his head all game to avoid getting his skin all "pruney".

VT Marketing Class of 2009
Current Roanoke-Hokie
Go Hokies!

Mack Brown's skin already is all "pruney".

"Sooner or later, if man is ever to be worthy of his destiny, we must fill our heart with tolerance."
-Stan Lee

"Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing."
-Ron Swanson

"11-0, bro"
-Hunter Carpenter (probably)

Mack Brown drinks.

Damn and I thought I scanned this thoroughly enough.

What's
Important
Now

Mack Brown did those viewers a huge favor

My thoughts on Mack Brown summed up:

Mack Brown introduces himself as Brown. . . Mack Brown.

Mack Brown pushes his dog around in a stroller.

Mack Brown uses the self checkout lane to skip the line but then plays up his age to get the attendant to scan everything for him anyway.

Mack Brown under-microwaves his popcorn because he thinks "the unpopped kernels are corn's version of Werther's."

Mack Brown filed a petition to change UNCs colors to Carolina Brown.

At parties, Mack Brown claims the Cleveland Browns were named after him

Here lies It's a Stroman Jersey I Swear, surpassed in life by no one because he intercepted it.

At parties, Mack Brown claims the Cleveland Browns were named after him

Mack Brown, old enough to make me wonder if this should be fact-checked.

If you play it, they will win.

"How the ass pocket will be used, I do not know. Alls I know is, the ass pocket will be used." -The BoD

You better refresh yourself on the great legacy of Paul Brown! How dare you even think about besmirching the impeccable history of the great Cleveland franchise by association with Mack Brown.

Whatever. It was one bad year.

Seasonal Brew means High ABV for football season and standard the rest of the year.

the great Cleveland franchise

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@BuryHokie #ThanksFrank

Mack Brown is the guy who says "let's come in early tomorrow to work on this" and then shows up at normal time, and laughs while asking if you thought he was serious...

Warning- Filter lost.

"Look at this... This is just spectacular.... These people are losing their minds"

STICK IT IN HAS RETURNED!!!

Mack Brown enjoys blue waffles

Now finish up them taters; I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.

Mack Brown gets the walking farts constantly. But, he's so old he can't hear them. This forces everyone to struggle keeping a straight face around him for fear of hurting his feelings.

Mack Brown talks to the cashier about each of the items he purchased while checking out.

Mack Brown has no dietary restrictions, however he insists all foods in the office must be sugar free. He thinks it's better for you.

Mack Brown's coach brother has a cooler name than he does.

Mack Brown washes ziploc bags for reuse. He refuses to retire them until they're at least 5 years old.

Mack Brown went back into coaching because he could not take all the criticism and mockery he received for his awful broadcasting.

Sometimes we live no particular way but our own

Eau de Mack: a fragrance by jump man; accentuated by crass hints of nonenal, stagnant farts and senility.

Mack wears Buster Browns because he gets them for free.

"Hey Bud, you wont have to hold the opponent to 17 points anymore."

Mack Brown is now 37 - 2 after coming out of a bye week. FAM!