OT - Bastard Lawn Raccoons

This is 50/50 venting and need advice. For the last few weeks I have had what I suspected was a raccoon digging up a large portion of turf in my back yard around a tree stump. I confirmed last night that I have a pair of raccoons actively digging around the root system of this old tree in the pre-dawn hours and they have now turned over about 1/4 of my lawn in the back.

Short of trapping them (illegal in fairfax) and killing them (also illegal) what are my options? The best I can come up with is to lay down chicken wire over the torn turf and extend out along the root system of the tree but I'm afraid these assholes will see this as more of "challenge accepted" than a real deterrent.

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Now finish up them taters; I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.

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"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

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To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

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Now finish up them taters; I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.

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Now finish up them taters; I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.

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You will see this game, this upset and this sign next on ESPN Sportscenter. Virginia Tech 31 Miami 7

His decision was made after a phone call with longtime Virginia Tech assistant coach Bud Foster. All Foster told him was, "We win. They don't."

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Warning- Filter lost.

"Look at this... This is just spectacular.... These people are losing their minds"

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You will see this game, this upset and this sign next on ESPN Sportscenter. Virginia Tech 31 Miami 7

His decision was made after a phone call with longtime Virginia Tech assistant coach Bud Foster. All Foster told him was, "We win. They don't."

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You will see this game, this upset and this sign next on ESPN Sportscenter. Virginia Tech 31 Miami 7

His decision was made after a phone call with longtime Virginia Tech assistant coach Bud Foster. All Foster told him was, "We win. They don't."

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There's always a lighthouse. There's always a man. There's always a city.

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Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

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Now finish up them taters; I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.

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"Tajh Boyd over the middle . . . and it's caught for an interception! Michael Cole, lying flat on his back, ARE YOU KIDDING???"

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2 time Longwood grad married to a Hokie.

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You will see this game, this upset and this sign next on ESPN Sportscenter. Virginia Tech 31 Miami 7

His decision was made after a phone call with longtime Virginia Tech assistant coach Bud Foster. All Foster told him was, "We win. They don't."

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Directions from Blacksburg to whoville, go north till you smell it then go east until you step in it

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Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

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Take the shortest route to the ball and arrive in bad humor.

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Directions from Blacksburg to whoville, go north till you smell it then go east until you step in it

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Pain is Temporary, Chicks Dig Scars
Glory is Forever, Let's Go Hokies!!

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Pain is Temporary, Chicks Dig Scars
Glory is Forever, Let's Go Hokies!!

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"Nope, launch him into the sun and fart on him on the way up"
-gobble gobble chumps

"11-0, bro"
-Hunter Carpenter (probably)

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2 time Longwood grad married to a Hokie.

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No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

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2 time Longwood grad married to a Hokie.

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Pain is Temporary, Chicks Dig Scars
Glory is Forever, Let's Go Hokies!!

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If you can't handle my shit posts, you don't deserve my memes

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"Take care of the little things and the big things will come."

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"A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it." - K

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"A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it." - K

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

You will see this game, this upset and this sign next on ESPN Sportscenter. Virginia Tech 31 Miami 7

His decision was made after a phone call with longtime Virginia Tech assistant coach Bud Foster. All Foster told him was, "We win. They don't."

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"A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it." - K

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

You will see this game, this upset and this sign next on ESPN Sportscenter. Virginia Tech 31 Miami 7

His decision was made after a phone call with longtime Virginia Tech assistant coach Bud Foster. All Foster told him was, "We win. They don't."

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

"A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it." - K

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

"A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it." - K

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

"A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it." - K

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

You will see this game, this upset and this sign next on ESPN Sportscenter. Virginia Tech 31 Miami 7

His decision was made after a phone call with longtime Virginia Tech assistant coach Bud Foster. All Foster told him was, "We win. They don't."

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

"A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it." - K

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

You will see this game, this upset and this sign next on ESPN Sportscenter. Virginia Tech 31 Miami 7

His decision was made after a phone call with longtime Virginia Tech assistant coach Bud Foster. All Foster told him was, "We win. They don't."

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

"Nope, launch him into the sun and fart on him on the way up"
-gobble gobble chumps

"11-0, bro"
-Hunter Carpenter (probably)

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

Pain is Temporary, Chicks Dig Scars
Glory is Forever, Let's Go Hokies!!

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

You will see this game, this upset and this sign next on ESPN Sportscenter. Virginia Tech 31 Miami 7

His decision was made after a phone call with longtime Virginia Tech assistant coach Bud Foster. All Foster told him was, "We win. They don't."

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I can imagine no more rewarding a career. And any man who may be asked in this century what he did to make his life worthwhile, I think can respond with a good deal of pride and satisfaction:
β€œI served in the United States Navy"