Well I know I'm tired of sitting around waiting on the new DC announcement so since we actually have a pretty significant game at the castle tonight I thought I would get a Friday distraction thread going.
On of Coach K's favorite players was this guy...
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Coach K thought Grayson Allen didn't trip enough people.
COACH K ACTUALLY COACHED GRAYSON "PUNCH ME IN THE FACE PLEASE" ALLEN TO TRIP PEOPLE!
Some people have argued that Coach K is not an asshole but actually a whole ass.
HE IS AN ASS AND HALF!
But somehow just smells like the hole part.
Coach K had a team with 3 top ten picks and let loluva win a national championship
COACH K ACTUALLY MADE SATANIC SACRIFICE SO THAT UVA WOULD WIN A NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP AND BEAT VT TO RECLAIM THE COMMONWEALTH CUP!
Coach K had a tummy ache during the Stephen F. Austin game and that's why they lost.
No, really.
Coach K said Stephen F. Austin isn't invited to his birthday party any more and it is going to be at Chuck E. Cheese and have ice cream cake.
COACH K WILL MAKE UP COCKAMAMIE BULLSHIT EXCUSE TO EXPLAIN WHY HE LOST TO STEPHEN F. AUSTIN.
Duke this is why you suck
COACH K IS THE SPAWN OF SATAN!
DUCK FUKE!
That's f'ning hilarious.
HOW ELSE DO YOU EXPLAIN HIS LEVEL OF SUCCESS? LOOK AT HOW HE CLOSELY RESEMBLES SATAN!
Coach K doesn't like baby Yoda.
Coach K looks like a llama.
I think he looks like a rat
Ferrets agree.
Coach K once lectured Zabian Dowdell on the court for celebrating too much after a win in Blacksburg
BUT HE WILL SCREAM AT REFS WHEN THEY CALL A FOUL ON DUKE!
Coach K thinks your volume is at an acceptable indoor voice level
COACH K TAKES VOCAL LESSON FROM SATAN!
Even when leading by double digits and having an embarrassing number of fouls called on the other team while only a spare few on Duke. Jerk's a class A+ whiner.
Coach K is the reason they put a "K" on your stat line when you strike out.
Coach K is going to step away for the season with "back issues" following his loss to VT tonight.
Coach K thought Deron Washington acted inappropriately towards Greg Paulus
Coach K pretends like he knows who the VT DC is going to be and when the announcement will happen.
Every day, he tweets it's going to be tomorrow.
Coach K looks like one of the goblins from Harry Potter
And now my gum is on my keyboard.
Man, I just cleaned the gum off the keyboard.
Coach Krysbbfjckxkkskdjbfbskckjvjfzzjzizizjzjzjzjzj thinks we were respectful to do a "Lovin On: David Cutcliffe" thread
Coach K shows up to a dinner party with a bottle of Boones Farms. And leaves with a full bottle of Buffalo Trace.
Coach K is the type of guy that would tweet that the VT DC will be announced "today" every day
edit: dang it. too slow.
Coach K starts his voicemail to you by telling you what time it is
Coach K has friends who don't know what time it is.
Coach K walked off the court without shaking hands after we beat Duke in Cassell our first year in the ACC.
He probably doesn't wash his hands after taking a dump, so maybe that isn't such a bad thing.
Coach K is jealous of Coach Elemino Pee.
Coach K has a tattoo of a rat on his face
I know this is old but I couldn't resist
Coach K anagrams to Fuck UVa.
Wouldn't that be Lovin' on Coach K? I feel gross now.
Coach K doesn't like memes and gifs and thinks they should be banned from existence.
Coach K doesn't actually need a forum thread to prove people hate him.
He needs forum threads to prove anyone actually likes him.
Oh and Coach K whines in Hatin On threads until he gets his way.
Nike funnels their top AAU recruits to Duke and pays them via 3rd parties significant cash. Coach K wins 95% of his games because of this,and not because of his superior hoops knowledge. K has been doing this for years while pretending he and Duke are saints. Nike does this because Duke provides plausible deniability as a tops hoops school and K is a long time Nike endorser that knows where the bones are buried. K uses his influence over his players to sign with Nike as pro's of course. It's all a sham.
Their mascot is a blue devil. When people show you who they are, believe them.
One of those is loved. The other looks like Coach K.
Coach K wears shape ups.
Coach K anagrams to Cock? Ha!
Coach K is a dick.
Coach K doesn't even know how to pronounce his name properly.
Coach K is so hatable that he almost makes you root for LOLUVa when they play against Duke. Almost.
And we lost<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<