It's that time again! UVA (14-day) Hate Week! Get in the spirit!
It's the most wonderful time of the year!
There'll be Zima for sharing
And wine and cheese pairing
Then sweet Wahoo tears!
It's the most wonderful time of the year!
They're the e-easiest targets of all!
With their khakis and neckties
And leaving at halftime
To play bocce ball!
They leave all - college football - fans appalled!
There'll be Mike London crying
With fewer kids buying
The snake oil dream that he's sold
Fans will shuffle their boat shoes
With all of the sad Hoos
Lamenting how they just got rolled
We'll watch Bud tear their of-fense apart
They'll give ev-e-ry excuse:
Wind, ref-e-rees, and youth
Not coaching or heart!
They're a drag on Valpak's profits chart
There'll be timeouts for wasting
And Watford for pasting
By Hokies like Luther and Gayle
They'll see progress regressing
Recruits second guessing
As we celebrate with a rail!
Which Ful-ler - gets the first - pass break-up?
We'll extend our supreme reign
And of course we'll retain
The Commonwealth Cup!
It's the most wonderful time -
UVA's steady decline -
It's the most wonderful time of the year!
Comments
ENCORE!
Yes! Merry Christmas to all, and to all LOLUVa! GO HOKIES!
Absolutely fabulous! You, sir, would get a thousand turkey legs from me for the "VT" field alone! I was attending VT when that happened. Everyone had a fantastic laugh over it.
Adding that 'T' to Scott Field goes down as an all-time ownership moment. The timing, execution, and the fact that VT then went out and won on that field made it beautiful.
I know there is probably a timetable from prosecution on vandalism crimes. When that expires, the Hokies responsible need to be greated with a heros welcome at Halftime of the next home game.
I'm sure the statute of limitations is up by now. I know one of the guys who did it. He said they almost got caught on their way out but ran fast enough, and the security guard was far enough away, that they got away.
Sniff...I'm tearing up it's so beautiful
Excellent job good sir!! As you all know by now, I have gotten to the point where zero F's are given and I hate UVA....not really sure what else to say. I do apologize for the haywire rant earlier and leave this right here:
Grif,
Have you seen this news - monty-python-troupe-to-reunite-for-live-shows
SWEET! Upvote for the glad tidings.
Normally I don't like the Christmas carols before Thanksgiving but...
that was incredible and makes me so happy!!!
this is all kinds of wonderful.
There are no words. Simply brilliant
I liked this verse the best
I love hating UVA
somebody needs to dig up the dr seuss one from last year's game.
It's around. I won't touch it for fear of jinxing.
http://www.thekeyplay.com/content/2012/november/26/9-consecutive-wins
I wanted to trot this guy back out, seeing as we are literally on Day 1 of the 12 days of London:
In the first game of the season,
Mike London gave to Bud
Cav Man falling in the mud
In the second game of the season,
Mike London gave to Bud
two wasted timeouts
and Cav Man falling in the mud.
In the third game of the season,
Mike London gave to Bud
three crappy quarterbacks,
two wasted timeouts
and Cav Man falling in the mud.
In the fourth game of the season,
Mike London gave to Bud
four crushed defenders,
three crappy quarterbacks,
two wasted timeouts,
and Cav Man falling in the mud.
In the fifth game of the season,
Mike London gave to Bud
Five Spring Game Fans!
four crushed defenders,
three crappy quarterbacks,
two wasted timeouts,
and Cav Man falling in the mud.
In the sixth game of the season,
Mike London gave to Bud
six bottles of zima,
Five Spring Game Fans!
four crushed defenders,
three crappy quarterbacks,
two wasted timeouts,
and Cav Man falling in the mud.
In the seventh game of the season,
Mike London gave to Bud
seven references to being a cop,
six bottles of zima,
Five Spring Game Fans!
four crushed defenders,
three crappy quarterbacks,
two wasted timeouts,
and Cav Man falling in the mud.
In the eighth game of the season,
Mike London gave to Bud
eight typo-laden letters,
seven references to being a cop,
six bottles of zima,
Five Spring Game Fans!
four crushed defenders,
three crappy quarterbacks,
two wasted timeouts,
and Cav Man falling in the mud.
In the ninth game of the season,
Mike London gave to Bud
nine salty tears,
eight typo-laden letters,
seven references to being a cop,
six bottles of zima,
Five Spring Game Fans!
four crushed defenders,
three crappy quarterbacks,
two wasted timeouts,
and Cav Man falling in the mud.
In the tenth game of the season,
Mike London gave to Bud
ten ticket valpaks,
nine salty tears,
eight typo-laden letters,
seven references to being a cop,
six bottles of zima,
Five Spring Game Fans!
four crushed defenders,
three crappy quarterbacks,
two wasted timeouts,
and Cav Man falling in the mud.
In the eleventh game of the season,
Mike London gave to Bud
eleven unblocked Hokies,
ten ticket valpaks,
nine salty tears,
eight typo-laden letters,
seven references to being a cop,
six bottles of zima,
Five Spring Game Fans!
four crushed defenders,
three crappy quarterbacks,
two wasted timeouts,
and Cav Man falling in the mud.
In the last game of the season,
Mike London gave to Bud
a full decade of dominance,
eleven unblocked Hokies,
ten ticket value-packs,
nine salty tears,
eight typo-laden letters,
seven references to being a cop,
six bottles of zima,
Five Spring Game Fans!
four crushed defenders,
three crappy quarterbacks,
two wasted timeouts,
and Cav Man falling in the mud.
This. I don't think anyone can top this.
Today marks 12 days out from the ragematch....
We could create the "decade of dominance alternate version"?
Would it be one for every year? So only 10 verses? I guess that could be feasible. I guess poke some fun at Al Groh too? I dunno, let me think on it. I'll try and post it in 2 days maybe when we're only 10 days out?
Ho. Lee. Shit. That was beyond amazing. Between this and Wartooth, this may be the best thread I've ever seen.
Now we just need someone to create the acutal audio version so that we can have a NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL A KEY PLAY: VOLUME 1 mixtape.
I particularly like the mouseover text.
So, I took time and read the letter...
For the record, "continue to win conference championships" and "opportunity to play for National Championship," had me rolling more than the typos and improper grammar.
Oh, the twelve days were good, too.
While that makes me snicker, "formerly" extending a scholarship offer also cracks me up - especially in the same letter in which he touts the greatness of the education. I guess you need to really see the whole thing together to really get the complete failure of it. It's like a perfect dish created by a master chef, where every flavor surprises, but still complements the course. Mike London manages to pack an incredible amount of failure into roughly 3 paragraphs.
You've hijacked, or to be more accurate, intercepted-Fostered-Torian Grayed-Fullered the thread. You've basically replaced the whole damn thing.
Might want to consider posting as a new forum topic or blog post
I love it
What happened to your comment? With the Hoos boo-hooing?
I wish I could be half as creative as you guys...
This is just beautiful I love the yearly Christmas themed LOLUVA threads.
I have perma-grin - TOO DAMN FUNNY!
(Frommally or informerly)
Lets make sure there's NO joy in Whoville this Christmas for sure.
lets
Awesome job guys! Long time reader, first time poster, but felt compelled to contribute.
Twas the week before loluva, and all through the keyplay, Many Hokies were lamenting as french analyzed the umd replay.
The playbooks were loaded in their ipads with care, Knowing that a decade of dominance soon would be theirs.
The D-Linemen were sitting all stuck in a meeting, With visions of sacking Watford during a serious beating.
Then Gayle in his truck, JR and Skip in a Jeep, Were preparing to finalize a career wahoo sweep.
When out on the practice fields there was the clinking of glass, Security sprang to the scene, mostly to cover their ass.
They searched high and low, looking for a clue, Only to find a man, covered in orange and blue.
The lights on the glass of the freshly drunk zima, Meant this wasnt the work of the honorable Beama
When, what to their wondering eyes should appear, But a bald little man, calling a timeout and shedding a tear.
With a terrible record, now an obvious flop, They knew in a moment it must be the time cop.
More rapid than a receiver, Sam Rogers arrived like a meme, As he sniffled and waffled, the coach ran off with a scream.
Now Logan! Now Trey! Now Stanford and Cline! On, Miller! On, Farris!, On Glock and big Wang!
To the endzone we go! By run or by pass! Now move down the field, thoroughly kicking their ass!
With Fuller and Exum, now ready to play, And Tyler and Luther, all set for game day!
The defense was fearsome as they flew to the ball, And Bud did a cartwheel, while making a call.
The team they responded, getting over their woes, Beating the snot from some wahoos, lesser rivalry foes.
I heard Beamer exclaim, about those Charlottesville clowns, loluva is our bitch, and Dont deny my pussy touchdowns!
What a brilliant debut! Welcome and thanks for a hilarious morning read!
Second VTGuitarMan's sentiment. I think you'll fit right in here.
I think it's safe to say you're going to have enough legs soon to vote. Bravo
That. Was. Awesome. Probably the best first post on TKP ever.
This too now....