UVa FAIL CHART

By: Joe Lanza
PUBLISHER
on March 26, 2010, 9:17 PM | 51 comments

The Mike London regime is right on schedule. After some initial recruiting buzz the first year coach and athletic department are reaching out for the support of Hooville.

"It starts with getting our state back," Oliver said. "I've said it on the radio, and I'll say it again: I have a lot of respect for Virginia Tech and what they've done. That doesn't mean I have to like it.

"I'm tired of losing to them. We don't want to lose to these guys anymore. There's no one here that enjoys losing to Virginia Tech or doesn't care about it."

The fans have a role to play in the rebuilding process. Many would like to see tangible evidence of a turnaround before they come back on board, Oliver knows, but London needs their help. Now.

"It requires that they be involved and engaged," Oliver said. "That doesn't mean you have to buy a ticket, but wear your Virginia stuff with pride and say this is your team. Because it is your team. Mike, his staff and the student-athletes will do a great job representing the University of Virginia, but they can't do it alone.

Are you curious as to how it will all go down? If so, I present for your viewing pleasure, the UVa FAIL CHART:

White: London Can't Do It Alone [VirginiaSports.com]

DISCLAIMER: Blog posts may not have been written or edited by The Key Play staff.

Comments

InTheBleachers's picture InTheBleachers | 11 years 6 months #

UVA

Love the chart. Sadly we cannot claim dominance over UVA and although every year since 2002 we should beat them we don't so one of those 5-8 wins is ours by default.
Love the new digs and I'm excited about the new site.

riddler's picture riddler | 8 years 8 months # ^

DOMINANCE over uva

Commonwealth Cup has been in our possession for 2,985 consecutive days

9-0 in last nine games
VT hasn't lost an ACC conference game to the fighting zimas

The Hokies are 13-1 over the past fourteen years and have outscored our rivals 423 to 182
yes 423-182

Enough said

Go Hokies!!!

Joe Lanza's picture Joe Lanza
PUBLISHER
| 8 years 3 months # ^

For the record, InTheBleachers is Mike Felder (featured columnist at B/R and podcaster), and he played at UNC.

Hokieshibe's picture Hokieshibe | 8 years 3 months # ^

Ooooooooh. My bad. I just assumed he was really confused or possibly trolling.

It was a catch

Bragghokie's picture Bragghokie | 6 years 3 months # ^

and he played at UNC.

j/k

If you don't want to recruit clowns, don't run a clown show.

"I want to punch people from UVA right in the neck." - Colin Cowherd

BeerControlOffense's picture BeerControlOffense | 11 years 6 months #

nicely done

charlottesville crap circles

eric

"My advice to you... is to start drinking heavily."-John Blutarsky

Joe Lanza's picture Joe Lanza
PUBLISHER
| 11 years 6 months #

Thank You Sirs

This was a way to make myself feel better after the collapse at the end of the basketball season.

hokieguru's picture hokieguru | 11 years 2 months #

That was awesome

Retweeted today immediately.

VTJawo's picture VTJawo | 11 years 2 months #

Awesome

Pure awesomeness...can't wait for the Fail Whale to make an appearance in Charlottesville!

TeaBagPaulus919's picture TeaBagPaulus919 | 10 years 1 month #

Never FAILS for Hokies

I have "flowed" through this chart about 20 times now, and the outcome is never bad for the Hokies. Pure genius, from a logical and mathematical standpoint.

BilldozerVT's picture BilldozerVT
| 8 years 10 months #

at 4-8, UVA is did their best to break the fail chart

Hyping up Hokie Nation one video at a time.

deathrow821's picture deathrow821 | 8 years 3 months #

I could probably program this into MatLab. Sorry, flowcharts = MatLab in my view.

Rip his freaking head off!

petebuddywilson's picture petebuddywilson | 8 years 3 months # ^

I would hope there's no one here who is a big enough loser to actually program this into MatLab. Having said that, this code will simulate the flow chart for an arbitrary number of years.

%UVA_football
%Simulates Results for the UVA football program over the next 'N'
%number of years.

clear all
clc

%Input
N=25; %Number of Years to Simulate

%Initial Conditions
Bowl_Appearances=0; %Initial Bowl Appearances
Bowl_Wins=0; %Initial Bowl Wins
Hokie_Wins=0; %Initial Wins Against VT
Head_Coaches=1;

for i=1:N
Wins(i)=4+randi(4);
Hokie_Wins=Hokie_Wins+0;
if Wins(i) >= 6
Bowl_Appearances=Bowl_Appearances+1;
Bowl_Wins=Bowl_Wins+0;
end
if i/(5*Head_Coaches) > 1
Head_Coaches=Head_Coaches+1;
end
end

Total_Wins=sum(Wins);
Total_Losses=12*N-Total_Wins+Bowl_Appearances;

Total_Wins
Total_Losses
Win_Pct=Total_Wins/(Total_Wins+Total_Losses)
Wins_Against_VT=Hokie_Wins
Bowl_Appearances
Bowl_Wins
Head_Coaches

Below are the results of a 25 year simulation.
.

Not the bagman VT deserves, but the bagman VT needs right now.

deathrow821's picture deathrow821 | 8 years 3 months # ^

haha, well done sir!

Rip his freaking head off!

HokiEE's picture HokiEE | 8 years 3 months # ^

Is it bad that putting it into Matlab was the first thing I thought of?

#ENFUENTE #BALLSOFSTEEL #Livefor32

TechHokie13's picture TechHokie13 | 8 years 3 months # ^

Not at all. Fun fact, I was running some stuff through Matlab myself when I saw this. It made me happy.

vtman09's picture vtman09 | 8 years 3 months # ^

You sir, have won the internet for the day.

SpiderHokie's picture SpiderHokie
| 8 years 3 months #

can we add a quarterback carousel to this chart?

Hokie_x3_Hi's picture Hokie_x3_Hi | 8 years 3 months # ^

It's more like a revolving door than a carousel. We all know that if a Hoo is on a horse, even a fake carousel one, he will inevitably fall off of it.

SpiderHokie's picture SpiderHokie
| 8 years 3 months # ^

like this?

rogue_nine9's picture rogue_nine9 | 8 years 3 months # ^
Chachi's picture Chachi
| 8 years 3 months # ^

Thanks for reminding me of my favorite Sci-Fi series that never was. Now I am going to have to go back and watch all the episodes since it has been over a year since the last time I watched them... At least Castle is still going well. BTW, one turkey leg for you sir.

VTCC '86 Delta Company, Hokie in Peru, Former Naval Aviator, Former FBISA, Forever married to my VT87 girl. Go VT!

HouckieVT's picture HouckieVT | 8 years 3 months # ^

Another turkey leg for the serenity/firefly reference. Although I don't quite understand how it comes into play here..

Whoopsie. Just saw the sword... Dang iPhone screens

What's Important Now
The Lunchpail.
The Hammer.
BeamerBall.

hokie4runner's picture hokie4runner | 8 years 3 months # ^

Waiting for horse on treadmill comments or gifs...

Previously LowBrau.

HorseOnATreadmill's picture HorseOnATreadmill
| 8 years 3 months # ^

Does this count?

hokie4runner's picture hokie4runner | 8 years 3 months # ^

Haha, was hoping for horseontreadmill bucking off the cav...

Previously LowBrau.

VTCPA's picture VTCPA | 8 years 3 months # ^

Or a horse hind leg kick of the Cav

@vtscottyb

VTBlackout's picture VTBlackout
| 6 years 3 months # ^

I laugh everytime I see Cav Man falling off a horse. If he doesn't get some luck on the sword rolling away from him this could have been a very different outcome. This is downright terrifying.

The Dude Abides

IfishVTIam's picture IfishVTIam | 6 years 3 months # ^

I wouldn't worry, I'm sure the sword is as real as their "football" program. I mean seriously, do you really think they'd risk killing off at least half of their fan base?

Reel men fish on Wednesdays

8300A_Hokie'12's picture 8300A_Hokie'12
🏝NO BAD DAYS🏖🤙
| 6 years 3 months # ^

killing off at least half of their fan base?

FTFY

"The Big Ten is always using excuses to cancel games with us. First Wisconsin. Then Wisconsin. After that, Wisconsin. The subsequent cancellation with Wisconsin comes to mind too. Now Penn State. What's next? Wisconsin?" -HorseOnATreadmill

IfishVTIam's picture IfishVTIam | 6 years 3 months # ^

Sorry, don't know why, but I felt kind this morning. No worries, though, I'm over it. Maybe we should take up a collection and sent them a realllllly sharp.....nah, must still be feeling kind.

Reel men fish on Wednesdays

HokiEE's picture HokiEE | 8 years 3 months # ^

A transferring quarterback carousel?

#ENFUENTE #BALLSOFSTEEL #Livefor32

757Hokey's picture 757Hokey | 8 years 3 months #

As a keyplayer that joined just last year, this thread/fail chart is awesome!

PMS208's picture PMS208 | 8 years 3 months #

The horse, aka UVa, football throws off the coach. Good thing cavman didn't land on his sword. I would hate to see that.

#Let's Go - Hokies

HorseOnATreadmill's picture HorseOnATreadmill
| 8 years 3 months #

YOU GUYS HAVE TO SEE THIS!

I'm sure it has been around for a long time, but I just saw it on failblog:

License plate

I'm not sure if it is proLOLUVA or just LOLUVA. But I LOLUVA at it anyway.

jackal's picture jackal | 8 years 3 months # ^

Yeah, its been around awhile, but seeing it always makes me smile. The first time I saw it was in person a few years ago in the lot behind Sharkeys.

macraw83's picture macraw83
🦃 GOBBLE GOBBLE 🦃
| 8 years 3 months # ^

The best part? It's been up there since August 15, 2008. It isn't recent vandalism of any kind.

wisec4g's picture wisec4g | 8 years 1 month #

Classic #LOLUVa
Virgin Alert

VT '10--US Citizen; Virginian By Birth; Texan By the Grace of God.

Rick Monday... You Made a Great Play...

Romanes Eunt Domus

Bragghokie's picture Bragghokie | 6 years 3 months # ^

If you don't want to recruit clowns, don't run a clown show.

"I want to punch people from UVA right in the neck." - Colin Cowherd

VB06Hokie's picture VB06Hokie
I HAVE A BADGE NOW!
| 6 years 3 months # ^

Always a leg for Role Models.

I'm here for the memes, I just stay for the football.

NickVT10's picture NickVT10 | 6 years 3 months # ^

It will be many years before he speaks to the whispering eye.

"I'm too drunk to taste this chicken" - Colonel Sanders via Ricky Bobby

vtnova's picture vtnova | 8 years 1 month #

Chive on brother kcco. I laughed so hard when I saw it

D-Block
#BEATOHIOST

SevenLayersofPlayers's picture SevenLayersofPlayers
669TH MEMBER OF TKPC
| 6 years 3 months #

#rightonschedule

Bragghokie's picture Bragghokie | 6 years 3 months #

the chart needs to be updated to annotate number of top recruits to leave the program, but i love the commentary above it.

"I'm tired of losing to them. We don't want to lose to these guys anymore. There's no one here that enjoys losing to Virginia Tech or doesn't care about it."

If you don't want to recruit clowns, don't run a clown show.

"I want to punch people from UVA right in the neck." - Colin Cowherd

Alum07's picture Alum07
RETIRING TO TAHITI
| 6 years 3 months #

"I have a PLAN. You just need to have a little goddamn faith, Whit. I just need. more. MONEY." - Justin van der Linde

VTGuitarMan's picture VTGuitarMan
🎸OG LEG KING 🎸
| 6 years 3 months # ^

The one thread that will never become irrelevant.

AustinHokie's picture AustinHokie | 6 years 3 months #

Mike London can't do it alone.. he needs YOU! But....

All of a sudden, I found myself in love with the world
So there was only one thing that I could do
Was ding a ding, dang my dang a long ling long....

rogue_nine9's picture rogue_nine9 | 6 years 3 months #

Does anyone know where the updated chart that accounts for unused timeouts is at? Someone had posted it before, but I couldn't find it the last time I searched for it.

rogue_nine9's picture rogue_nine9 | 6 years 3 months # ^

Thanks