"Hate is a bottomless cup; I will pour and pour" — Euripides
I asked VTBox, BilldozerVT, Furrer4Heisman, and Brian to contribute to this post. They obliged, and we are all better for it.
It's Hate Week
An Introduction — Joe, VTBox (Graphic)
I don't hate UVa for the traditional reasons. I didn't grow up in a neighborhood that had VT and UVA flags jutting out from garages. None of my high school friends attended college in Charlottesville. If Hoos want to wear ties to games, slug back bottles of wine, and nibble on cheese at tailgates, then YOLO.
However, Virginia fans remain the worst. The masses only support their program when it's convenient. When it is popcorn and movie night, when a spring practice travels to their neck of the woods. They leave Scott Stadium bare-assed for a noon-thirty kick against Wake Forest. They sell their tickets, their dignity, and any chance at home field advantage Thanksgiving weekend to Maroon for a couple bucks. They quit on their team early, and they do it without a second thought. It's all too easy for them to check out.
Virginia fans care more about Tech losing than UVa winning. They are quick to point out Tech's losses in BCS games, lack of a national championship, and every other Hokie disappointment. They are even quicker to deflect the fact they haven't sniffed a victory against Tech in 8 seasons.
They are irrelevant not only nationally, but in the Commonwealth. They have never won an outright football conference championship (the one they covet the most). They can enjoy every last damn loss we suffer, as long as they don't get the satisfaction of doing it themselves.
The Mike London Regime
The #NewHoos statewide takeover hasn't happened yet — Joe, VTBox (GIFs)
When Mike London was hired to replace Al Groh the Hoos rejoiced. They had their man. He was a former position coach and defensive coordinator at UVa. They said he understood their culture, and he knew to sell it. He could repair relationships with high school coaches. He had success as a collegiate head coach. He would bring in talent, and rebuild Virginia football.
Not everything has gone according to plan. In fact, after three seasons London has been unable to best his predecessor.
| Al Groh | Mike London | |
|---|---|---|
| First | 5-7 | 4-8 |
| Second | 9-5 | 8-5 |
| Third | 8-5 | 4-7 |
| Against VT | 1-2 | 0-2 |
| Bowl Record | 2-0 | 0-1 |
| Total Wins | 22 | 16 |
There has been some success along the way, but each season has ended in failure.
Click for hi-res
Virginia wins under Mike London against BCS conference schools: Miami (x3), Indiana, Georgia Tech, Maryland, Duke, Florida State, Penn State, NC State. That's just 11 BCS Ws in almost 3 full seasons.
Furthermore, questionable coaching decisions are undoing the notion that London is a smart game day coach.
Nevertheless, he remains entertaining.
UVA Sucks
It sucks to be U...VA, Hate Week edition — Brian
Okay, this is not going to be a particularly complicated thesis: UVA sucks. I mean suuuuuuucks. Not like, "Man, I have a cold during Thanksgiving," sucks...No, more like, "My wife of ten years gave me a venereal disease," sucks.
I always tell myself that I hate other teams more. I've said multiple times that I hate Georgia Tech (and more specifically Paul Johnson) more than anyone else in the ACC.
That is, until I get to hate week.
That is until I remember that UVA tries to act like Hogwarts and call all of their students by year, instead of class. Until I remember Mike London clowning for television time on the sidelines practically screaming "look at me insert name of bigger school here I COACH THINGS!!!"
They just suck. There's nothing necessarily fun about the Tech/UVA rivalry because I don't think they get the jokes. They just suck. Here are examples as to why they suck so much:
They like to think of themselves as "Mr. Jefferson's School". Gag me. Jefferson was a redhead...a ginger if you will. Gingers have no souls, therefore UVA IS SOULLESS.
Lee Corso picked against Tech...his car was struck by lightning. Colin Cowherd famously eviscerated the Cavaliers and their fans...he was promoted to TV.
To make it even clearer:
If the head coaches in the rivalry were James Bonds, fat Frank Beamer would be Sean Connery (obviously the best) skinny Frank would be Daniel Craig (far and away second best). Mike London would be Pierce Brosnan — extremely overrated because expectations were so low coming after Al Groh/Timothy Dalton.
If the quarterbacks in this series were SNL actors, Logan Thomas would be Will Ferrell, Mike Rocco would be Chris Kattan and David Watford would DEFINITELY be Dane Cook. (If you're saying to yourself 'wait a minute...Dane Cook was never on SNL...he's not even funny!' you just got the joke).
Mike London used to be a cop. There's no joke there, I am just legally obligated to say it if I use his name more than twice. (Seriously though...do you think he interrogated criminals the same way he handles the refs? Just annoyed the ever-loving hell out of them until they gave him what he wanted?)
Rooting for UVA sucks just as much as drinking too much crappy Burnett's vodka. It's gross, but you tell yourself that you can't do any better. Eventually you forget that you are even drinking it and that you're an awful person.
Why Beating UVa will Always be Important
The worst part about Thanksgiving — Furrer4Heisman
Back in the day when I ran a blog, I would relish this week. I would make fun of UVa's founder and their fans, all while wishing a "Happy Thanksgiving to everyone who isn't a godless Wahoo."
I hate UVa. The fact that they bring out the worst in me during the holiday I love most only makes me hate them more. There is nothing to admire about UVa or its culture. UVa people have no redeeming qualities whatsoever. They and their school represent the thing I abhor most in this world, pretentiousness and privilege, and beating them at anything is reason to celebrate.
This is the game that always makes me the most nervous, regardless of record. It's UVa and the thought of losing this game more than any other makes me physically ill. It's easy to be funny and creative when it involves the outcome of a sporting event you aren't actually playing in yourself. But this is different. This is the UVa game. Anything other than the complete decimation and humiliation of the Wahoos and everything they stand for is unacceptable.
Go Hokies, beat UVa.
In Closing
BilldozerVT puts you in the perfect state of mind for Saturday.
Current students at Tech might not have much of a reason to hate UVA. That's understandable since they have been our punching bag for the last 8 years. Just wait until you get out into the real world and you bump into a UVA graduate. They'll likely remember when it was actually a rivalry, and will piss you off with BS stats from before you were born, then claim their education is better than yours. They are assholes. It's a fact.
Maybe last year, with the Coastal Division up for grabs, you got a taste of their smug coming to surface. Then 38-0 happened and all was right with the world. This game is probably bigger than any others in recent memory considering Tech's long standing bowl streak is on the line. Can you imagine what kind of slime would crawl out of the woodwork in Hooville if they could lay claim to ending such a run? I couldn't live in a world like that.
We can still get satisfaction from an awful season by beating the hell out of UVA.
After all, that's what we do.
Comments
Awesome!!!
+1000
Best article all year Joe, and you've written some great ones.
Beating UVa is what matters most every year. I love how you detailed all the inept coaching over there.
Lets hear some stories about why we hate the Hoos so badly.
This one is from 2012, it's amazing how nothing has changed.
I'm so embarrassed...
Don't be embarrassed...
Here we are a year later, and it's the same story all over again. I just read the whole piece, and it was like I jumped in a time machine, or maybe they did - it all still applies.
Go Hokies
loluva sucks
OBEY YOUR MASTER! uvaLOL
OBEY YOUR MASTER!
uvaLOL
I will pay $10
To anyone who gets on TV with a "VT Grads Make More $" sign.
http://www.payscale.com/college-salary-report-2013/full-list-of-schools
While funny (and true!), that would be a really wahoo thing to do and would make us look like pricks, IMO.
Thanksgiving Traditions
My Uncle used to end every Thanksgiving Grace with "and thanks for Al Groh," a tradition that unfortunately ended a few years ago. After 38-0 last year, if Mike London proceeds to lose to the worst Tech team in over a decade, I think we'll have a new tradition to start.
outstanding!
YUP
classic moment
I've been rolling with this pic as my twitter logo since the day I joined twitter.
Still awesome
This is still one of my favorite moments of VT history right there. I remember when I first saw it. so awesome.
This would still be funny if it had happened every season since.
Random thoughts
1. A conversation last Thursday between my 16 y.o. son and I during the UVA-UNC game:
Son:Why do they(UNC) have a foot on their helmets?
Me: They're the Tar-heels....see the dark spot on the heel?
Son: Tar-heel? Where did that come from? I thought they had an animal of some sort for a mascot?
Me: Well, they kinda do...it's a goat..ram actually...don't know where the tar-heel thing came from.
Son: A goat??
Me: Hey, it's better than some lame guy that falls off a horse!
Son: (laughter)
2. I live in the midst of these people...they are insufferable snobs...overheard several conversations between wahoo fans regarding how they'd love to deny us a bowl game, but that they are afraid the hoos will "freeze up" or choke when they play us like they always do. Like they were really better than us, but just didn't play to their potential....when they generally have played above their heads...it's just that they are really, really, bad.
3. Their fans (and I use the word loosely) are nonsensical. I personally observed the following behavior at the Miami game, a game which they (unbelievably) won. A game against one of the better teams in their side of the conference. They arrive in the middle of the first quarter. A good many of the fans are in coats/ties (about 3% are bow ties), or dresses/heels. This is observed in both alumni and students. A mid-second quarter scan of the stadium indicates that the stands are at about 65-70% capacity....for a conference game(???!!). Mid-third quarter....about 10% of the crowd leaves. Many of the people exiting are told about the no re-entry policy, and many of those leaving state that "That's ok, if I want to come back in, I have more tickets, I'll just use one". One wonders how much that behavior inflates their gate numbers. So the crowds are likely smaller than the actual reported numbers. Fourth quarter, as the hoos are still in the game...MORE people leave. By the time the hoos score the game winning TD with 0:06 on the clock, there are roughly 30,000 people there to witness it. The stadium is half full. Astoundingly lame fans.
4. The graphics on this post are wonderful! I especially like the graph of the London era at hoo-ville.
5. Just a reminder of a post here from last year after the uva game (38-0, bro): http://www.thekeyplay.com/content/2012/january/17/reminder-uva-counting-...
6. The Commonwealth Cup has been in the possession of the Hokies for 3279 wonderful days.
Love the replay of that INT in the last two seconds to win by a Touch. On a different angle, a coach on the UVA sideline tries to trip the DB as he runs by. Dirty Hoos... Try to cheat and still lose.
VT carved on JPJ Court
Don't forget that somebody who helped build John Paul Jones Arena's basketball court was a Hokie fan, too. I can't upload the photo because imgur is blocked here at work but here is the link. This happened during my sophomore year, I think. Pretty cool stuff.
http://www.newsplex.com/sports/headlines/6253027.html
GO HOKIES BEAT THE WAHOOS
I hate UVa so much, it feels good!
I also hate them to the point that I judge ALL people (even Hokies) who move to Charlottesville. Why would you want to live amongst them?! In the words of one of my first VT shirts when I was little, "UVa is the school for me...NOT!" Yes, it was the early 90s!
Feel free to judge
I live in Hoo'ville and I like living here.
Yes, there are raging douches around here, but it's actually a fucking nice area in which to live. There are a surprising number of Hokies who live in the Charlottesville-Albemarle area, and I wear my orange & maroon with pride.
One big difference between Blacksburg (which I absolutely love and my pipe dream is to retire there) and Charlottesville: UVA actually doesn't dominate this town.
Then again, the Hoos really don't dominate anything.
B00M!
I posted a while back
that I find it interesting that you see Tech stuff all over Cville. You don't see ANYTHING blue and orange in Blacksburg that I can recall. And as a local, Cville has some definite positives. It's also nice when somebody tries to give me a hard time about being a Hokie, it's always easy to say "Gee....what was the score of the football game last year?....oh yeah....38-0!" (or appropriate score for whatever year it might have been).
We local Hokies need to get together sometime.
The most crap I ever receive ...
The most crap I ever receive is from the asshat working the register at the ABC store on Main Street. ie: "We charge Hokies double around here."
I'm from Cville and can relate
I grew up in Charlottesville. It has its perks. I hate the traffic though. And I live in NOVa now. Let me repeat those. I live in NOVa and I hate the traffic in Charlottesville. It seems to be worse every time I return. Every time. I'm not looking forward to driving down for Thanksgiving this year because my parents live about 2 miles away from the construction at Rio and 29. That's pretty much the only way home for me..so I'll have to deal with that bullsh**.
Otherwise, I don't really have much to complain about but it's not an area I see myself ever living in again. Nice to visit but I'm happier in NOVa. I will probably retire to a small town somewhere in Virginia. Somewhere kinda out in the sticks where it's quiet and has beautiful scenery.
Da []_[] invented Swag...
But uva invented Smug.
Might I add this is a proven fact from above: "They like to think of themselves as "Mr. Jefferson's School". Gag me. Jefferson was a redhead...a ginger if you will. Gingers have no souls, therefore UVA IS SOULLESS."
This season will be (almost) tolerable, as long as we stomp the living guts out of uva!
some UVA fans are butthurt that I called them assholes. they quickly rebutted by saying they earn more than me.
From this week's Deadspin College ShameDay:
"Virginia Tech needs to beat Virginia to become bowl eligible. Virginia needs to beat Virginia Tech because you can only get so far bragging about how many Vineyard Vines ties you own."
Sounds about right to me.
Colin Cowherd
I listen to his UVA rant at least once a month
The Rant in Question.
I love it, too.
PPHHHHHHFFFTTTT
GUFAW.
Here we have another uva fan falling back on "I'd rather be a softy from uva than a redneck from Tech"... If uva is so smart, how come they still can't tell the difference between Tech and Radford.
They Make It So Easy
They make it so easy to hate. The fact they care more about scuffing their sperrys or staining their bow ties than watching or cheering on their team. The fact that even amongst themselves they have secret societies to separate the "elite" from the "elite" The fact that each year after we win they say wait til next year as the take another hit off Mike London's pipe dream. This season has sucked but kicking the dog shit out of those insufferable pricks will at least make this season tolerable.
Hatred: Origins
I was not a military brat, but by the time I entered my Freshman year of high school I had lived in 5 different states on either coast and about 11 different houses. I had little knowledge of what east coast colleges offered and thought I'd end up at Oregon or Cal since I lived near both. By the time college applications were to be filled out I realized going out of state wasn't possible financially so I sent a barrage out here within the commonwealth.
Little did I know how much would change after the acceptance letters started filing in. I had my choice of just about any in state yet was between JMU and Tech as my final two. Since I hadn't made a choice yet I wasn't really concerned as to telling anyone. I also had friends who got into neither and wanted to save the awkwardness. I thought that was the best way to handle that kind of thing.
Apparently not after getting into UVa. Within two days of receiving letters I witnessed kids in my class adorning gear left and right. If you couldn't see it on their new sweater they'd be more than willing to make sure you knew that they got into the best school in state.
I thought them cheesy and did not like most any way so I cared in a direct correlation opposite of their jubilation. I really was naive to think they were just overtly excited.
What I wasn't prepared for was the transformation after that. In hindsight, for many it made sense and I could see it sort of coming. Not from my buddy though. I will refer to him as Fred.
Fred and I were more acquaintances the first two years of high school but as time went on we'd become close enough to joke around and choose seats near one another in the variety of classes we had together.
Fred and I were very close in class ranking, GPA, SAT scores, etc by senior year. We talked little about where we wanted to go to school until the day he got his letter back from UVa saying he was wait listed.
Fred's dad was an alumn and had ties to the school so Fred was a little crushed by the news. Time went on and he was slowly accepted by every other school he wanted yet still hadn't gotten into UVa. Our friendship worked how it always had until at the last possible second he got his acceptance letter.
Over night Fred became an asshole. I congratulated Fred at first only to hear how he was aided in getting in by his father writing donation checks and making a few phone calls.
Within a few weeks Fred stopped talking to some of us all together and even chimed in with a few others joking on the "lesser schools in virginia". He was also the first person I got to hear the played out Tech grad on your porch joke.
Fuck Fred and the thousands like him at that oversized tool shed they call a University.
I come from a family full of Keydets and cavaliers (some went to both), only to become its first Hokie. The only thing that would make this crappy, crappy year worse, is for them to be able to gloat over a win.
Destroy them, Hokies, and keep kicking them when they get down! You owe it to yourselves, your school, and its loyal fan base!
My UVA story goes like this.....
99 was my 1st year at Tech and a bunch of us made the trip up there to see a r-freshman MV7 embarras these jokers on national TV. The night before the game, we went out to the bars (fake IDs in hand), for some serious intoxication.
Went to strike up a conversation with some ladies (I guess beer goggles even make UVA sloots look approachable) but before we could a word out, the leader of the pretentious pack of Hoo ho's declared ...."You guys must be from Tech"....with her nose high in the air.
Noticing none of us was actually wearing any VT gear at the time, my only guess was that we were drinking beer instead of Zima. But still I had to know so I asked her...."Of course we are from Tech, but how did you know?"
"Because you are the only guys here wearing jeans..."
Who the fuck wears Dockers to a bar?? Every D-Bag from UVA.....that's who.
After the win, we proceeded to walk down Frat row singing Hokie, Hokie, Hokie Hi at the top of our lungs. Empty glass bottles were thrown at us from the safety of their houses (pussies), but instead of hitting us, one proceeded to go straight through the windshield of a BMW (no doubt borrowed from daddy) parked out front of one of the houses. Icing on the cake....to one of the best nights of my life.
Thank you VT and MV7.
Now let's beat these docker wearing, Jefferson humping, pretentious a-holes. GO HOKIES!!!!
What an absolutely fabulous tale. Thank you for sharing!
Bud gets in A in UVA trolling
Tweet from Andy Bitter:
Foster didn't know how long win streak vs. UVa was. "Eight? I thought it was nine. I lose track." #Hokies
*an not in
I'm so jacked up on hate that I can't even type correctly
Dealbreaker
I grew up in south west Ohio but was brought up a Hokie at heart. I wore my Tech gear everywhere and quickly became known for my love of all things Tech. I was dating a girl in high school who thought it would be funny to joke around and give me a Wahoo shirt for my birthday. I was single a week later. Go Hokies.
I have 3 friends from high school that go to uva and after talking to them over break, not a single one of them is even going to watch the game Saturday...
I will be driving back to Tech Friday night.
Wake up at 7:30 ready to rage.
Jump my ass off at 11:56 when Sandman comes on.
Lastly, I will cheer on my Hokies till the last minute expires.
Tech > Uva
Bump
THANK you for digging this up! Its all gold. I have thoroughly enjoyed reading the tales of UVSuck hate. BEAT UVA!!
TIMEOUT!
Then it is working correctly.
After this past weekends game against UNC, with everything on the line, and Beamer's last face-off with uva, I almost...*almost*....feel sorry for those lousy hoo's. They are going to get destroyed to the point of making their guys want to retire from football all together.
Watch closely at halftime, we might see London swap outfits with one of the cops on the sideline just so he can get out of coaching the second half. Bud needs to watch for this, the new cop turned coach that will replace London in the 2nd half will likely be a far superior coach.
got to admit...this thread confused me as I read some of the most recent comments of "8 game streak", and HDubya up there talking about driving back to Tech to get up and ready for the game...
I want us to destroy UVA.
I want Joey Slye's opening kickoff to clear the stands and crash into The Rotunda; leaving behind nothing but smoking crater.
I want Sam Rogers to truck a safety so hard he flies into orbit.
I want us to block every every single UVA kicking attempt until they start taking a knee on 4th down because it's a safer play.
I want to sack Matt Johns so many times that he runs off the field, into the stands, and curls up into his mother's lap crying inconsolably.
I want Mike London to do the same thing.
He would definitely call a time out before any of that happened.
Including the one time they kickoff.
Brosnan in GoldenEye was awesome!
Oh, and I want the hokies to straight up embarrass the hoos
So there I was at Saratoga Springs at WDW with my family just finishing up a surrey bicycle ride sporting my VT hat when out of nowhere a more senior UVA alumni comes up to me and asks how the Tech basketball team is doing this year (they were 0-1 at the time). Being as though he was a minimum of 40 years my senior I just laughed it off, but wanted to scream out at him, "how was UVA football been the last 10+ years?" What a pompous d-bag.
I guess this was before they crapped the bed against GW?
Obviously this is why they did.
FTFY
Zimas and Winecoolers!
Every year come UVA week, I get to revisit this gem of an article. Best part is, all of it will apply....every year.
At some point, UVA will beat us in football again. But for all that is good and holy, let it not be this saturday!!!
Things I hate about lolUVA
Could watch this over and over...
It is always a good time to hate on UVA. There is never a time when you should not mock UVA football. With their empty ass stadium, fans that quit and won't make noise because it isn't "gentlemanly", just enjoy having your early kicks and meaningless games with stupider helmets than we seem to end up with.
Bump. Zero has changed.
Timeless Hate.
Hate is evergreen.