Hatin' On: Bronco Mendenhall

"Hoo do you do, fellow kids? Get it? It's like that popular internet may-may from that very relevant, new, hip show on NBC called 30 Rocks. Except I replaced "How" with "Hoo" as a clever reference to my current employer's alternate nickname, indicating that I too am on the up-and-up and hip with the zeitgeist. This hat is so stylish and cool. My wife says it makes me look like Lane Kiffin."

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Comments

Friendly reminder that Bronco was never arrested or charged on three counts of Contributing to the Delinquency of a Minor for naming his kids Cutter, Breaker, and Raeder.

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

Cutter, Breaker, and Raeder

Hey, self-harm is no laughing matter.

On the other hand, his kids wear that mark of shame for all their lives.

Isn't that punishment enough?

I'm pretty sure those are the types of names usually reserved for pets.

Bronco named his kids after types of Rodeo horses and thought it would toughen them up, but it didn't

He said give to me Roscoe

Bronco Mendenhall is the head coach at UVA

Oof save some burns for the rest of us!!!!

I used to believe in my team. Now I believe that I can believe again.

Bronco Mendenhall thinks it is a good idea to play Christmas music 24/7 before Thanksgiving even gets here.

Recovering scientist working in business consulting

Bronco thinks A Charlie Brown Christmas is overrated.

DOPEY SCISSORS U HAS RETURNED

TKPhi Damn Proud
BSME 2009

Bronco Mendenhall drives a Jeep

I can imagine no more rewarding a career. And any man who may be asked in this century what he did to make his life worthwhile, I think can respond with a good deal of pride and satisfaction:
β€œI served in the United States Navy"

waiting for a HokieJeep reply on this one...

Lol, nothing against jeeps but Ford Makes Broncos in addition to all of the best Trucks πŸ˜‰

I can imagine no more rewarding a career. And any man who may be asked in this century what he did to make his life worthwhile, I think can respond with a good deal of pride and satisfaction:
β€œI served in the United States Navy"

*Best American Trucks. Toyota makes the best Import Trucks, however.

VT '10--US Citizen; Virginian By Birth; Texan By the Grace of God.

Rick Monday... You Made a Great Play...

Romanes Eunt Domus

"Import" .... Trucks are made in America and typically Toyotas sold in America contain the most American parts of all manufactures.

Bronco Mendenhall thinks Brad Cornelsen's scheme is innovative and hard to prepare for

Bronco Mendenhall only serves dry stuffing at Thanksgiving.

To be the man you gotta beat the man!

His name is Bronco...He thinks HOAT is appropriation. What a nerd.

I would root for the Russians before I would root for Virginia.

"If he was thinkin' he wouldn't'a thought that"
~ Squints

Bronco Mendenhall actually thinks that his "4th Side" slogan will catch on like the 12th Man.

Bronco thinks Fetch is going to happen this year.

Went here to figure out what the hell that is and the dude trying out the augmented reality fan pic is wearing VT-esque MAROON

Hokie Club member since 2017

Bronco likes to smell farts.

an evergreen hatin' on

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

Bronco Mendenhall makes Mike London look like Bear Bryant

TIMEOUT!

I can imagine no more rewarding a career. And any man who may be asked in this century what he did to make his life worthwhile, I think can respond with a good deal of pride and satisfaction:
β€œI served in the United States Navy"

Bronco Mendenhal thinks because he's named Bronco he can act like a horse's ass.

Bronco Mendenhall was only 1-4 against fired Virginia Tech Head Coach Justin Fuente. #ThEsTaNdArD

So, he made a stretch goal for UVa.

It's 1-6 if we count the BYU/Memphis bowl where Memphis won not only the game but the ensuing fistfight.

Good lord there is a good post I could make here. Dammit.

I been here since day 0.

Directions from Blacksburg to whoville, go north till you smell it then go east until you step in it

lol checked with Joe one this one and even though we had a laugh, this one is a hard pass

I been here since day 0.

With Bronco's usual facial expressions, I believe a hard pass would be a shart.

Hey, fuck that guy.

Bronco thinks Bitcoin mining is a good use of our energy resources.

Bronco likes to corner you at a party and talk all night long about how he mines crypto with his "big-rig"

Directions from Blacksburg to whoville, go north till you smell it then go east until you step in it

Bronco Mendenhall's favorite gift to give is a candle that smells like burnt toast

1-0 every week

Bronco thinks a fruitcake is an appropriate gift for all ages and occasions.

Most punchable face in the ACC now that chinballs is gone

I hate rude behavior in a man. Won't tolerate it.

TIL bronco mendehall and pat narduzzi are twins separated at birth

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

I think Bronco is kind of the perfect coach in Charlottesvile, tbh.

He's not good enough to make them a real threat, but not bad enough to get fired just yet.

I will say I hate that people talk about him as some defensive genius, because their defense is ASS this year. There's only one true defensive savant in the commonwealth, and he's enjoying his well-deserved retirement by the lake.

Hokies United l Ut Prosim

He's not good enough to make them a real threat, but not bad enough to get fired just yet.

In that, he's like the next coming of Al Groh.

If you're not sure if my comment warrants a "/s", it probably does.

So hes Al Groh Jr.?

Directions from Blacksburg to whoville, go north till you smell it then go east until you step in it

Bronco Mendenhall anagrams to "Clamber London Hen".

Bronco awkwardly molests cockney chickens.

It's science.

Bronco thinks that Zima is making its comeback.

And so it is.

In Charlottesville.

"Hoo do you do, fellow kids? Get it? It's like that popular internet may-may from that very relevant, new, hip show on NBC called 30 Rocks.

"Did you know that Tina Fey graduated from UVa? Did you also know that Thomas Jefferson founded UVa?" -Literally every UVa alum I've met

You can remind them that she hated her time in Charlottesville.

Hokies United l Ut Prosim

There's a hilarious interview with Tina Fey and Katie Couric somewhere where Couric tries to bond with Fey about their shared UVa experience. Fey essentially gave back a "you're weird" response.

There's a pretty big overlap.

*looks for an apartment in Charlottesville*

This comment is underrated.

Thank you thank you

Ask them how many slaves Jefferson owned, then watch their heads explode.

Recovering scientist working in business consulting

TINA FEY TOOK FREQUENT TRIPS TO BLACKSBURG TO FIND REAL MEN CAUSE THEY DON'T EXIST IN CHARLOTTESVILLE, AND JMU IS A GIRLS SCHOOL.

EDIT: ALL CAPS, NO BRAKES

TKPhi Damn Proud
BSME 2009

Did you know Edgar Allen Poe is not there most famous graduate? He attended, but quit because they stifled his creativity and he was not learning anything.

Sometimes we live no particular way but our own

not *their* most famous graduate...

All Bronco hears is an echo.

Fuente left with a winning record against him...wait who am I hating on!

"Take care of the little things and the big things will come."

It is easy to hate on bronco mendenhaul because he is, after all, bronco mendenhall. Plus that lame crack the stone deal they do.

Ut Prosim Ad Dei Gloriam

Plus that lame crack the stone paver deal they do.

FTFY

To be the man you gotta beat the man!

They haven't worked up to actually cracking a stone. Just a paver.

One time my college GF was looking at apartments to rent. We went to look at one place and it was inhabited by a stinky hippie wearing Teva sandals, tighty whities and dreadlocks.

The gentleman introduced himself only as Bronco.

We did not rent the apartment.

Edited to Add: I forgot to mention two things. 1. He was wearing ONLY the Tevas, undies and dreads. 2. He rolled the 'r' in Bronco.

Bronco is really Soaking in this year...

/nsfw-ish?

Because... he came from BYU...

Bronco doesn't put his shopping cart back and leaves it smack in the middle of the spot next to his car.

"GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM LITTLE BROTHER, THE CUP IS COMIN’ ON HOME!”

Apparently Bronco shops at my Krogers. . .in Michigan.

He rallied around breaking a paver and called it a rock.

Bronco spends his days trying to figure out if an NIL deal would allow him to start a bounty program.

Bronco buys Wagyu beef, cooks it well done, adds ketchup and mayonnaise, and eats it with microwaved leftover french fries from burger king.

Bronco Mendenhall doesn't drink beer OR bourbon

Because they don't go well with Zima.

or brie!

From the 2018 VT-uva game-"This is when LEGENDS are made!"

Bronco went 1-4 against a guy who got fired for being shit at his job

This is my school
This is home

Bronco Mendenhall's favorite character in the Star Trek universe is Wesley Crusher.

Recovering scientist working in business consulting

Incidentally, if Bronco Mendenhall has another son, he's going to name him Crusher.

21st century QBs Undefeated vs UVA:
MV7, MV5, LT3, Braxton Burmeister, Ryan Willis, Josh Jackson, Jerod Evans, Michael Brewer, Tyrod Taylor, Sean Glennon, and Grant Noel. That's right, UVA. You couldn't beat Grant Noel.

A single solitary hair once sprouted from Bronco Mendenhall's forehead. It grew and grew and grew and grew, until its end drooped low at his feet. Everyone noticed, but they were too afraid to mention such embarrassment to him. Finally, after the 2018 game in Blacksburg, the hair fell out. Beards Of The World contacted this hair, and the hair said Bronco never shaved it or plucked it, because it was the closest thing to a beard he would ever have.

Bronco Mendenhall can't grow hair anywhere on his face except his forehead, and his teams play dirty.

21st century QBs Undefeated vs UVA:
MV7, MV5, LT3, Braxton Burmeister, Ryan Willis, Josh Jackson, Jerod Evans, Michael Brewer, Tyrod Taylor, Sean Glennon, and Grant Noel. That's right, UVA. You couldn't beat Grant Noel.

Bronco thinks its ok that Brian Kelly killed a kid.

Numberless jerseys for spring game, "fourth side," asymmetrical helmets. Guy just likes being weird. Definitely listens to obscure music just praying you'll ask who it is.

Bronco is saving up his money for a 10 minute ride in space with Jeff Bezos, in a rocket shaped like "hard things together".

Bronco Mendenhall will also probably read a shitty poem after he's fired five years from now.

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Jet Sweep

Bronco poops at parties

I'm here for the memes, I just stay for the football.

VT Marketing Class of 2009
Current Roanoke-Hokie
Go Hokies!

A YouTube classic - can't believe this video is 10 years old...

I'm here for the memes, I just stay for the football.

Bronco thinks defeating a Fuente-coached roster is an accomplishment.

VT '10--US Citizen; Virginian By Birth; Texan By the Grace of God.

Rick Monday... You Made a Great Play...

Romanes Eunt Domus

[mod edit: removed the NSFW gif but trust me this Hatin' On was quite the burn]

Bronco hired this stripper for your bachelor party

"I'm too drunk to taste this chicken" - Colonel Sanders via Ricky Bobby

And then posted it here.

Ahem, His weiner is flopping around

TKPhi Damn Proud
BSME 2009

don't know how you managed to watch enough of the gif to spot that and how i managed to watch enough of the gif to verify it, but good catch i guess?

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

I thank you for saving the rest of us the horror.

ut prosim

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

This is some really weak shit that is supposedly a confrontation by Bronco towards a rival fan when he was at BYU. Weak Sauce Bronco