"Foe"Rensics: Syracuse

Completely accurate and absolutely fact-checked history of Syracuse Orange football.

Hello! I'd like to welcome everyone to a VERY SPECIAL "Foe"Rensics. This is only the second time I've written one of these and Virginia Tech has actually been ranked! It didn't last very long last time, so I'm going to stop talking about it before I put the whammy on the Hokies and why is this sentence still going, I should really stop typing befo-

1. This seems like a good time to interrupt you. Bring me up to speed since the last time you polluted the internet.

A. Right. Well, the Hokies played in the biggest college football game OF ALL TIME, beat the hell out of Boston College, BeamerBalled East Carolina and gave North Carolina a subtropical depression after blowing into Kenan like a tornado and making Mitch Trubisky feel like he barely survived an earthquake. I feel like I'm missing something from my analogies...

2. Sleet?

A. Oh, good one! And speaking of miserable cold weather, as punishment for, I dunno, not sucking anymore, the college football gods have conspired to ship Tech to the great frozen north to play the Orange of Syracuse this weekend.

This is the latest version of Syracuse's mascot. Their budget is a little tight.

You may remember Syracuse from the good ol'1 Big East days. Back then, they were known as the Orangemen, but underwent a vasectomy in the mid-2000s.

3. Dear god, why is Syracuse on the schedule?

A. I don't know, but whatever the reason, I hope Tech learned a lesson and is very sorry.

4. So tell me about Syracuse.

A. Happy to! Syracuse was originally founded as a marketing gimmick to sell soda. In the 70s, a bunch of orange growers in California were looking for ways to expand their market of orange flavored products into something that wouldn't actually require oranges to produce. So, the guys at Big Citrus got together with the guys from Big Sugar and came up with liquified, carbonated orangish flavored sugar, and dubbed it Sunkist. The brand name signified its freshness and that the sun shown on the factory where it was processed.

So what do you do when you have a new product and you want to get the word out quickly and social media and internet memes hadn't been invented yet? Viral marketing! The fellows at Sunkist decided to play on the old joke that if you eat too much of something, you'll turn into it. They started making commercials stating that people would love Sunkist so much that, despite it not actually containing oranges, they'd drink it enough to turn into oranges. Several scientific studies have since debunked this claim, but that has not stopped Sunkist from repeating it on the internet.

As a marketing gimmick, Sunkist claimed they were establishing a school where they would teach people how to be oranges to help them with the transition. Just to make sure that they didn't get random people showing up, they decided to "establish" the school in the middle of nowhere, where no one would ever want to go; Syracuse, New York. Despite this precaution, people, mostly rural New Yorkers with nothing else to do, showed up for classes.

They quickly cottoned to the fact they'd been duped, and many felt betrayed and depressed. So they formed a support group for each other and met a few times a week. Unfortunately, this marketing campaign lasted longer than the Geico caveman, and people kept showing up; generally, not so bright people. One enterprising individual eventually did go get a license to establish a for-profit school, and began charging these suckers exorbitant tuition, which he used as seed money to start an air conditioning company2.

5. Hahaha, they ARE suckers! They voluntarily went to Syracuse?!

A. Yep. Syracuse was originally founded as a leper colony, and they named it Syracuse because the people who were banishing the lepers wished it was on an island like the real Syracuse.

They called the first impact of Joey Slye's foot on Sicily "The eruption of Mount Etna".

6. So why are the Hokies going there again?

A. You have the ACC to thank! After pulling in Virginia Tech to get the Richmond, DC and 757 TV markets3, they added Boston College to get the Boston-metro TV market, because everyone knows the reason no one goes to BC games is because the entire city of Boston is home watching them on TV. After that went so well, they went after Pitt to get Pittsburgh and Syracuse to get...New York City? Elmira? Rochester? Who knows. Anyway, they are idiots and Tech's suffering the consequences of that this weekend.

7. Does Syracuse football?

A. Not well. Historically, they've been not terrible at times, claiming a national title in the 50s, but that came in the middle of a run of backs like Jim Brown, Ernie Davis and Floyd Little, who all wore the number 44 because of a quirky abnormality that each of them had 44 teeth. Their celebration of this unusual teeth-count led to the demise of their most passionate rivalry at that time, with nearby Colgate, whose toothpaste simply couldn't stand up to that volume of teeth.

These days, Syracuse generally sucks. They had a run in the 90s where they were winning Big East titles4, particularly with notorious field vomiter Donovan McNabb, who will forever hold a special place in my heart. A place of cold hatred. Since then, they've pretty much sucked, and have had a winning record only three times since 2001, a feat of crappiness made all the more impressive by the fact that most of that terribleness was accomplished in the Big East. Their dedication to being awful has inspired unseen levels of dedication amongst their fans; as demonstrated by the unseen fans here.

Still more fans than LOLUVA had at their spring game. (via stadiumandarenavisits.com)

8. Should this should be a cakewalk, then?

A. No, because the Carrier Dome is a cursed realm. The Hokies only won in that horrible place twice, once before the Soviet Union fell, and the other when a certain Michael Vick ran around and did superhuman things. Even despite the parade of incompetents and boobs that have run the Orangemen into the ground since Paul Pasqualoni was fired, this game still makes me nervous.

9. Why who's in charge now?

A. The child of Flintstones aficionados, Dino Babers. He's actually had a pretty good head coaching career, making Eastern Illinois and Bowling Green competitive in his two years in charge at each place before bouncing up to a "bigger" job. Syracuse is the current stepping stone, and if the timing works out, I'm sure he'll be in Happy Valley in 2018, then maybe Miami, then maybe the final step, the goal for every head coach and player ever, a shot in the SEC, somewhere like the hallowed grounds of Kentucky.

Anyway, he's really good at offense, really bad at defense. Like the inverse of Virginia Tech for the previous 10 seasons.

10. Do they have any Fullers?

A. Nope. No Edmunds either. In fact, it doesn't appear they have a single set of brothers on their roster, meaning they likely are unaware of the first rule of recruiting; ALWAYS CHECK TO SEE IF THERE'S A YOUNGER BROTHER.

11. What about the rest of the roster?

A. They've got a few guys who originally came to 'Cuse on a geography scholarship and wound up playing football, Zaire Franklin, Austin Wilson, and Parris Bennett. To make you feel old, they've got Cordell Hudson, who is actually young enough to have been named after Kordell Stewart. Alryk Perry and Andrejas Duerig moonlight at Renaissance Festivals, and finally, they've got Airon Servais, which means "horrible neck beard" in French.

All of the bad parts of a beard, none of the good parts

12. Is there anything else about Syracuse we should know?

A. They've actually got a remarkable lineup of alumni in media and arts. Shirley Jackson, whose novel "The Lottery" you had to read in school at some point and was about Syracuse season tickets, Dick Clark, Taye Diggs, Lou Reed, Pete Yorn, Ben Stiller's dad Jerry, Vanessa Williams and Lexington Steele, who has never been in any movie I've ever seen. Ever.

They've also produced a ton of sports broadcaster also rans, like Marv Albert, Bob Costas, and Mike Tirico. Most importantly, Syracuse boasts as an alum the man who will forever be the Voice of the Hokies in my heart, Bill Roth. That ALMOST makes up for McNabb, Syracuse. ALMOST.

13. Any cool football related traditions?

A. Well, they figured out that it was something in the Sunkist that was making all their players grow the extra teeth, so they no longer allow area children to drink it and subsequently retired the number 44. There's an Ernie Davis statue that's apparently famous, and they have the most uniquely named restaurant in college football, The Varsity, which turns the opponents banners they hang in the restaurant upside down when Syracuse wins. This doesn't happen very often.

14. Do they have rivalries?

A. Eh. After the toothpaste imbroglio with Colgate, it's a mixed bag, with lots of "used tos". They USED TO have a rivalry with Penn State, but Penn State found better teams like Pitt5 to rival with. They USED TO have rivalries with WVU and Rutgers, but those were marriages of convenience, and the dissolution of the Big East meant 'Cuse wisely decided to not voluntarily travel to Morgantown or New Jersey. The only real rival they have left is Boston College, which is again down to the fact they they are the only two major college football programs in New England and they've been in the same conference. There's not even a quirky or witty name for the rivalry, and the Wikipedia entry cites an article by Heather Dinich, and should therefore be shunned.

15. Do they have food in Syracuse?

A. Yes! Trying something new here, I just picked the first restaurant that came back on Google, the obnxiously cutesily named Pastabilities. Our first reviewer, James Sayles, clearly received a Syracuse education:

Drove 2 hours to experience the food here based on their rating. We arrived around 3, paid for parking walked in, sat down, to only be told they are now closed for the day. No explanation given. We were told they will reopen tomorrow. Several couples attempted to go in after us as well and were told the same. Highly unprofessional.

First of all, who the hell drives two hours to eat at a restaurant named PASTABILITIES? Also, you posted this review a month ago on the internet, so clearly you are aware of the internet and can find the restaurant's listing on Google which clearly states that they close after lunch EVERY DAY at 2:30. Why do you need someone to explain to you the phenomenon of closing between lunch and dinner? Because you don't know how to Google the hours of the restaurant before driving TWO HOURS to eat there?

Several reviewers recommended getting the Wicky Wicky Chicken Riggies, which frankly sound inappropriate, but we'll finish up with this from Lucas:

Tried to eat here, waiter was being an arrogant snob, refused to serve me small Hatian child in my pasta, I told him it was a Vietnamese tradition and he still refused, if I could I would give them no stars

Uh...

16. Do they barbecue in Syracuse?

A. They have actually opened a restaurant in Babers' honor, Dinosaur Bar-B-Que, which Ray Foss helpfully reviews:

One of the worst places in Syracuse for vegetarians. They have a veggie burger, with eggs, it's tasteless. For a business this size, they should really have bike stands, they don't. They really want this rating. I'm not proud of this place as a Syracuse person.

You, sir, went to a barbecue restaurant and complained about their vegetarian options. Do you review Mexican restaurants and complain about their lack of Lo Mein? You are an idiot and your opinions on all things are heretofore invalid.

A Google User with a Walrus picture added:

Over hyped food, that is just not very good. I ordered rib eye. For 21 bucks I expect something that is not dry and flavorless. The cheese burgers were awful

Ugh, THIS IS WHY NO ONE LIKES NEW ENGLAND. It's barbecue, you don't go in and order a steak or a cheeseburger. Why don't you take Ray to Pastabilities and complain about their quesadillas. You people are the worst.

17. How are the FAINTs looking?

A. So, I'm not trying to jinx anything, but Jerod Evans is REALLY good at not throwing interceptions. Bud Foster's defense is also good at catching them, which makes football really fun to watch! The Hokies have caught seven and thrown one, yielding a -6 FAINT count on the year, which is fabulous. Just don't factor in fumbles; while I recognize the game was played in a hurricane, Tech's offense put the ball on the ground SEVEN TIMES. While I think we all thought the first two games were bad, I'm wondering how many teams have fumbled seven times and won in a blow out.

18. What should we watch for on this Saturday?

A. I'm watching for:

  • Weird sightlines and really ugly astroturf; Carrier Dome staples!
  • A reminder that if Donovan McNabb doesn't get your hate flowing, Syracuse also recruited Greg Paulus as a graduate transfer to play quarterback. He was terrible.
  • An Independence Bowl-esque shootout, except if the other team only had a nerf gun.
  • My new favorite Hokie tradition, the Fu-Foster bro hug at the end!

Enjoy the game! Unless you're physically going to Syracuse, in which case, I'm sorry!

1This is a bald faced lie, the only good ol Big East day was the day we left. I mean, the national title game appearance happened in spite of Tech being in the Big East, not because of.
2And thus we get the name of the horrible place in which they play, the Carrier Dome, which is not actually air conditioned, because of course.
3Everyone knows LOLUVA fans don't watch football, unless it's preceded by a lecture.
4To be fair, this was between the Druck and Vick years, and well before Miami was BACK before Miami wasn't BACK anymore.
5Giggles

Comments

This is very good, funny stuff. Thanks for starting my day with a laugh. BTW, we are traveling to Syracuse this weekend with a group of Hokies and we will be holding a communion before the game on Saturday, to remove the dreaded curse of the DOME. GO HOKIES!

Probably need an Exorcism, Scottyb. Demons begone!!!

Great article.

foresthokie
US Navy Vet

We are headed up as well, so watch where you exorcise lest the spirit hits another Hokie!

My 2019 Season Challenge: only comment with Star Wars memes. (completed as of Nov. 29)

The spirit is Wild Turkey 101. It should do the trick.

I was at this glorious game in 2006 with a cocky 'friend' of mine from SU. He left at halftime when it was 31-0. Too bad he didn't stick around to see the 2nd half where VT scored another 31 unanswered points to end 62-0. Then he could have witnessed this most excellent moment in Hokie mascot history.
I don't know how to embed it off YouTube but click link and enjoy...

https://youtu.be/ZTIypZqUrB0

"Everyone has a plan 'till they get punched in the mouth."

I love these soo much...can't wait for ND. I know they have a very special place in your heart...right next to McNabb

If a tree falls in Scott Stadium does it make a sound?

Answered my question this morning
" />

meaning they likely are unaware of the first rule of recruiting; ALWAYS CHECK TO SEE IF THERE'S A YOUNGER BROTHER.

Boom!

Is it basketball season yet?

Lexington Steele, who has never been in any movie I've ever seen. Ever.

Sure, sure...

So I guess one could say he was...pleading the 5th

Their celebration of this unusual teeth-count led to the demise of their most passionate rivalry at that time, with nearby Colgate, whose toothpaste simply couldn't stand up to that volume of teeth.

I sincerely hope this is a pacifier....or bad photoshop.

Take the shortest route to the ball and arrive in bad humor.

Unfortunately it is a pacifier, but it is also an example of the effects of living in Syracuse.

However, Syracuse receives far less sunshine during the year than other parts of the country, leading to Vitamin D deficiency, which affects the development of teeth. Sometimes it affects the teeth in a "I was exposed to uranium during my pregnancy" kind of way, which is why Colgate was located in the middle of Vitamin D Deficiency Land (people in the north are at a far greater risk of being Vitamin D deficient than people in the south; It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia's title is a crock of shit.)

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia's title is a crock of shit.

My 2019 Season Challenge: only comment with Star Wars memes. (completed as of Nov. 29)

Dear mother, wtf is that!

Gah dang. Smdh

Their celebration of this unusual teeth-count led to the demise of their most passionate rivalry at that time, with nearby Colgate, whose toothpaste simply couldn't stand up to that volume of teeth.

This had me in stitches. Well done T5F

21st century QBs Undefeated vs UVA:
MV7, MV5, LT3, Josh Jackson, Jerod Evans, Michael Brewer, Tyrod Taylor, Sean Glennon, and Grant Noel. That's right, UVA. You couldn't beat Grant Noel.

Fantastic, thanks as always. Seriously, I wish I could write sarcastic B.S. like this! Love it.

"Hey Bud, you wont have to hold the opponent to 17 points anymore."

You sir, are a funny man, and I appreciate your work.

Also I shared this article on the r/cfb subreddit so if you guys go there as well, it's probably on the new page so go upvote it for more TKP traffic.

edit: Good lord, people are bad at detecting sarcasm, it feels ridiculous to have to assure people over on reddit that this is satire...

It is a website created by wahoos... what can really be expected?

Somehow two people got into an argument about which school is better based on acceptance rates, if that gives you any idea of how this endeavor is going over there.

I always facepalm when I see that on /r/cfb...I mean, come on guys, it's a football forum, no one cares or wants to talk about academics.

it's a football forum, no one cares or wants to talk about academics.

we came here to play FOOTBALL, we ain't come to play SCHOOL classes are POINTLESS

FTFY

It's almost like going to a barbecue joint and asking for a hamburger.

Take the shortest route to the ball and arrive in bad humor.

Or going to Joe's Diner and ordering a veggie burger.

Click here to destroy wall.

I think the only real argument that Syracuse can win over Virginia Tech is that they have Wegmans

"Exit light, Enter night, Enter the Hokies!"
VT MSE '17

I'm pretty sure they just opened one in richmond.

Wet stuff on the red stuff.

Join us in the Key Players Club

Can confirm, it is on Midlothian Turnpike across the street from Walmart

Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies

Another one way, way out on Broad.

Ridiculous stat: Richmond has more grocery store chains per capita than any other city in America:

Kroger
Martins (soon to be Publix)
Aldi
Wegmans
Food Lion
Giant
Winn Dixie (or are all of those gone?)
Wal-Mart (if that counts)

Am I missing any?

Winn Dixie gone, plus Martin's used to be Ucrotch-uh Ucraps-er Ukrop's (6 wasted yrs of my life). But I ain't mad...right? Also, wtf is Aldi and when did they get a Giants??

I think the Giant is on Southside. Aldi is a discount grocery store, they just opened on broad near wegmans. I also forgot trader Joe's and Whole Foods

Trying this again:

Kroger
Martins (formally Ukrops, soon to be Publix)
Aldi
Wegmans
Food Lion
Giant
Wal-Mart (if that counts)
Farm Fresh (near Libby Hill)
Trader Joe's
Whole Foods

Can we all agree that this is excessive?

Ridiculous stat: Richmond has more grocery store chains per capita than any other city in America:

If we're sticking to just the city, we have to take out those stores that only appear in Short Pump or Midlothian, which takes Wegmans and Whole Foods off the list.

Also, Giant and Martin's are part of the same corporate family, but none are branded as Giant in the Richmond area.

Incorrect, Wegmans and Whole Foods is in Short Pump (if you want to eliminate Midlothian). I forgot about Tom Leonards

What is incorrect?

Short Pump is not part of Richmond. It's the western end of Henrico County.

Midlothian is also not part of Richmond. It's in Chesterfield County.

It's looking like the better argument is that Henrico County has an insane number of grocery stores.

Metro.

Wet stuff on the red stuff.

Join us in the Key Players Club

Maybe if you add Fresh Market (on Parham near Regency), Tom Leonards (behind Best Buy in Short Pump), and Lidl (coming soon, forget exactly where).

BTW, if you buy deli meat, Tom Leonards has Boars Head for $6.99/lb.

#TeamPeanutButter - because your cakes, pies, cookies, and ice creams are better with it!

+ Fresh Market

"It's always great to beat UVA, that makes us all smarter and better looking for a couple days".

We got an Aldi in Waynesboro. People were all excited and talking up Aldi. I went to Aldi. Aldi sucks.

"That kid you're talking to right there, I think he played his nuts off! And you can quote me on that shit!" -Bud Foster

Every time I've gone into one, they've had different stuff. Usually off-brand products, occasionally actual name brands, but what they do have is generally a pretty cheap price, without having to buy 3x more than you need a la Costco. It definitely serves a purpose, but won't ever become anyone's primary grocery store.

Ucrotch-uh Ucraps-er Ukrop's (6 wasted yrs of my life)


You talkin' shit about Ukrop's? I thought you were a Richmonder. Free rainbow cookies for life.

"That move was slicker than a peeled onion in a bowl of snot." -Mike Burnop

YES!!!!!!
And butterstar cookies

Are we ignoring White House Rolls?

Yes I am. When you had the experience I did, you would understand. Btw, still waiting on those "free rainbow and butter star cookies for life." I'm a true southsider.

Just wanted to say, I write some weird ass stuff, but this is, I'm pretty sure, the weirdest, longest comment thread I've ever seen on one of these. You know what? Nevermind. Wegmans ftw. Although, I've made a mortal enemy of everyone in the bakery at my local Weg because my wife wants the ciabatta sliced every time. Which they never do unless you ask because it's hard as hell to do. I KNOW, THAT'S WHY I DON'T WANT TO DO IT AT HOME.

Also, Lowe's are legit, but not having the tall shelves creep me out because I can see the whole store from anywhere.

that would creep the hell out of me

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

So, what you're saying is that "Foe"rensics are the result of ciabatti-induced Wegman's rage?

I've never been to a Lowe's, or any grocery store for that matter, where the shelves are not at normal height and I've been in quite a lot of Lowe's (for work, not because I eat all the food). I'm guessing your Lowe's may have bought out another store and didn't replace the shelves.

Either way, you should absolutely spend your time tossing food into unsuspecting fellow grocery shopper's baskets in adjacent isles. If caught, blame Lowe's for selling beer in the grocery store. Did they not expect shenanigans to happen when beer is involved?

There's only one logical explanation. TheFifthFuller is actually Bucky Hodges. The shelves weren't too short, he's just too tall.

"We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior" Stephen M.R. Covey

β€œWhen life knocks you down plan to land on your back, because if you can look up, you can get up, if you fall flat on your face it can kill your spirit” David Wilson

It's the one just north of Hampstead, NC on route 17. It's a new shopping center so I think they built it that way. My mom gets so creeped out she drives another 10 minutes to hit up the Teet.

...everyone calls Harris Teeter the Teet, right? That's not just me?

Well that's what I call it now.

"That move was slicker than a peeled onion in a bowl of snot." -Mike Burnop

It's the Teets.

I'll show myself out.

Click here to destroy wall.

I mean we always called it hairy teets but close enough

If a tree falls in Scott Stadium does it make a sound?

We call it Hairy Twatter. And Publix is The Pube.

Been calling it the Teet for years. Glad to know we're on the same page.

Here lies It's a Stroman Jersey I Swear, surpassed in life by no one because he intercepted it.

It's hard to do for them? My Wegmans has an electric bread slicer that gets it done in like 3 seconds.

Yeah. The slicer struggles with ciabatta

That's a lot of grocery stores, but I don't think it is the highest per capita. Just a comparison from my home town:

Richmond population is a little under 215,000
Winston-Salem population is a little under 230,000

Winston-Salem grocery stores:
1) Harris Teeter
2) Fresh Market
3) Lowes
4) Food Lion
5) Walmart Market
6) Whole Foods
7) Aldi
8) Trader Joe's
9) Publix
10) Save-A-Lot
11*) Chipotle (just kidding, but some do use it as a grocery store)
Also, I've heard rumors of Wegman's coming which, if true, would mean I'm stuck here for life.

edit: now you've got W-S beat, but for how long? The food race continues...

Your lowes is a grocery store?

He said give to me Roscoe

Lowes Foods. Not quite the same Lowes you are thinking of.

ESPN. The coverage is excellent, you'd be surprised at how much you can pick up.

There's Lowe's Foods and Lowe's Home Improvement. They re-did the Lowe's in Mooresville and it is super nice, but you pay for it. The store is kind of divided in two with one side being your traditional aisles of packaged food, and the other side has a beer and wine bar where you can get growlers or a glass to drink while you shop, a coffee shop that grinds your beans, produce with a station where they'll cut your stuff for you, super nice bakery and deli, and a smoothie/fresh fruity drink counter (I don't know exactly what goes on there). It's a really cool shopping experience but you pay for it.

The Lowes Foods in Harrisburg, NC (Concord area) is really nice - and a nice craft beer selection too. Enjoyed visiting, grabbing samples and shopping with a beer in hand.

We're (RVA) 3rd per capita in grocery stores. NUMBER ONE IN BREWERIES/WINERIES THOUGH

Saucy Sauce

You are missing out on the absolute fucking gloriousness that is HyVee in the midwest. All other grocery stores pale in comparison now. (Though I still do a lot of my shopping at Aldi, just because you can fill a whole cart for right around a hundred bucks.)

"I liked you guys a lot better when everybody told you you were terrible." -Justin Fuente

HyVee is nice so is Giant Eagle.

Wet stuff on the red stuff.

Join us in the Key Players Club

I love Aldi and their philosophy, and I'd shop there all the time if it were just me, but my wife has "standards". Having said that, we get all of our cleaning supplies at Aldi.

Charlottesville Wegmans opens next month.

Take the shortest route to the ball and arrive in bad humor.

Hoo cares?

This made my day. I haven't even read it yet, but just knowing that l have a edition of Foe-Rensics to read makes the world a better place to live, on this chilly Wednesday.

30 years after starting grad school at Virginia Tech, I finally defended my dissertation and earned my PhD.
Don't give up on your dreams.

Syracuse also recruited Greg Paulus as a graduate transfer to play quarterback. He was terrible

There can't be a reference to Paulus without showing this:

TEABAG PAULUS!

I remember when people brought boxes upon boxes of Lipton teabags to the game so we could hold them by the strings and shake/spin them while Paulus was shooting free throws. So much fun.

Thank you. We're playing a damn basketball school that wet fart went to and I completely failed to mention it. Excellent TKPing, sir and/or madam.

Gawd Heather Dinich is the worst. I think her years as the ACC beat writer drove me away from E$PN for good.

You'd have thought David Cutcliffe won a natty and solved world hunger based on her shit journalism.

How'd you get a gif of her publicity headshot?

King Alum of the House Hokie, the First of His Name, Khal of the Turkey Legs, The rightful Heir to the Big Board, the Unbanned, Breaker of Trolls and Father of Gritty

I love question 6

All of the bad parts of a beard, none of the good parts

I am snort laughing at work. Awesome as always!

Thank you clearing up my confusion, I always thought it was the Orange Crush who created the school, never knew it was sunkist!

I can imagine no more rewarding a career. And any man who may be asked in this century what he did to make his life worthwhile, I think can respond with a good deal of pride and satisfaction:
β€œI served in the United States Navy"

KCCO

Crush >>>>> Sunkist

An Independence Bowl-esque shootout, except if the other team only had a nerf gun.

Yeah... this one could get ugly, fast.

Cuse is bringing a wet noodle to a knife fight. They put the suck in liposuction

King Alum of the House Hokie, the First of His Name, Khal of the Turkey Legs, The rightful Heir to the Big Board, the Unbanned, Breaker of Trolls and Father of Gritty

As a Syracuse native I can confirm this is all true, other then the idiots at two of my favorite restaurants.

Yea, Dinosaur BBQ in Rochester is really great. Been there plenty of times on biz travel. I imagine the one in Syracuse is great as well.
Another great restaurant in Syracuse is Kitty Hoynes Irish Pub. Great beer, whiskey, and food!
DDD has been there!

Pain is Temporary, Chicks Dig Scars
Glory is Forever, Let's Go Hokies!!

Side note for Dinosaur BBQ- search around at your local grocer (especially in Northern VA) and you can find their #sauces

Not sure I want to eat in a building that has had Guy Fieri in it.

Here lies It's a Stroman Jersey I Swear, surpassed in life by no one because he intercepted it.

Wow, people really hate Guy Fieri.

I get that he's no Anthony Bourdain, but what's with all the animosity toward him. I used to like DDD almost as much as Man vs Food.

"I liked you guys a lot better when everybody told you you were terrible." -Justin Fuente

I once heard Guy Fieri described as "the human embodiment of cheese fries."

"Sooner or later, if man is ever to be worthy of his destiny, we must fill our heart with tolerance."
-Stan Lee

"Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing."
-Ron Swanson

"11-0, bro"
-Hunter Carpenter (probably)

Married: check
Father of Four: check
Devil-Horn-wielding metal head: CHECK

Thank you! I don't always know what to do with my hands when posing for photos, but I always know not to do that.

"Our job as coaches is to influence young people's lives for the better in terms of fundamental skills, work ethic, and doing the right thing. Every now and again, a player actually has that effect on the coaching staff." Justin Fuente on Sam Rogers

I was scrolling down, wondering if Dinosaur was going to be mentioned. First went there about 20 years ago. Didn't believe that anyplace north of the Mason-Dixon could make good BBQ.
It's awesome! Went back last winter in a driving snowstorm with the temp hovering around zero. Damn good BBQ. Brisket melts in your mouth.

Kitty Hoynes is also really good. I would suggest Doug's Fish Fry in Skaneateles, or Heids in Liverpool if anyone is visiting and wants to get out of the city for a bit ( and who could blame you ). Also anyone whose in town around lunch time on Friday there is a really good sandwich show about a block away from Dinosaur BBQ called Darwin that I make a point of visiting every time I'm home.

This concludes your Syracuse NY Restaurants PSA now back to your regularly scheduled trash talking...

From what I've seen, the Carrier dome gets bigger crowds for lacrosse games than for football

We swarm

BeamerBalled Eastern Carolina

Fixed

Also have have no fear guys The Carrier Dome is getting AC.
http://www.syracuse.com/orangesports/index.ssf/2016/09/carrier_dome_reno...

. β€” The Carrier Dome renovations previously announced by Syracuse will include an air conditioning system, according to Steve Infanti, a reporter with News Channel 9 and Orange Nation on ESPN Radio Syracuse

Wet stuff on the red stuff.

Join us in the Key Players Club

Syracuse has not yet announced a timetable on when the Carrier Dome renovations will begin or be completed.

maybe before we play there again in 12 years.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Not applicable to the subject. This was in Hokiesports.com this morning. Captions anyone?

foresthokie
US Navy Vet

I'd say you could post this as its on OT Caption This thread

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

From the looks of how swollen it was, just as well that 16 booted it the hell out of there.

Everyone's Doing It!

"What are you going to do, stab me? - Quote from Man Stabbed

Must have balls of steel. Didn't even feel it.

"Wrong end, cowboy!"

___

-What we do is, if we need that extra push, you know what we do? -Put it up to fully dipped? -Fully dipped. Exactly. It's dork magic.

New York isn't part of New England

Good, I'm not the only one who noticed that too... I've come to the conclusion this was done on purpose for comedic effect, in which case I applaud his efforts!

LAR '12 MVBones Go Hokies! USA!

Is it New? I think it's right there in the name. Where is its namesake, York? The shitty* northern part of England. Ergo, New England. Don't try to outgeographize me, fam.

*It is the part of England furthest away from Wales, and thus the worst part.

and yet, it's the part of England closest to Scotland so surely that should redeem it somehow...

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Isn't Northumberland technically further away?

'07 Mechanical Engineering

"Touchdown, Tech! I have never enjoyed saying that more"
-Bill Roth

Smh with these damn fact checkers. Vladivostok is probably further away, too, but what does that have with price of rice in Greece? Why are we talking about Middle Earth, anyway? Hobbits don't come into play until we get to Notre Dame.

Funny stuff, thx!

β€œI remember Lee Corso's car didn't get out of the parking lot.” ~CFB

LOL.. Just made My Day reading this wonderful fact filled article. Not the mention the pictures ! What else would I need today... Nothing more

Jack R.

TIL Syracuse is in New England.

And now I want Orange Soda.

"Yeah, it do." - Mike Vick

So is Kel an Orangeman?

Fantastic article, Fifth.

"That move was slicker than a peeled onion in a bowl of snot." -Mike Burnop

"The Lottery" is a short story. It just seemed like a novel when you had to read it in school.

Oh how I've missed this!

LAR '12 MVBones Go Hokies! USA!

The Heather Dinich dig and the Pastabilities dumb dumb haha. That was fantastic.

Hilarious, as always!

Toothpaste imbroglio...lol.

Awesome. Anything north of pennsylvania is a suburb of Toronto. To clarify, Pennsylvania is part of greater Pennsyltucky.

TKPhi Damn Proud
BSME 2009

Set your clocks back 50 years when traveling to Pennsylvania.

Sadly, I have to do just that this weekend for a damn fall wedding.

I just saw there were about 30 new comments in this thread....

of which 28 were about grocery stores....

You know you're playing Syracuse this weekend when......

King Alum of the House Hokie, the First of His Name, Khal of the Turkey Legs, The rightful Heir to the Big Board, the Unbanned, Breaker of Trolls and Father of Gritty