OT: Share your stories of LOLUVa Douchebaggery

We hate WVU because they are a classless fan base with way too much in common with us, but way worse.
We hate Pitt because of how many times they've shattered our dreams.
We hate Miami because they are arrogant assholes (but at least are competitive, sometimes).

But we hate LOLUVa because they churn out so many douchebags that we have to deal with on a daily basis. Some of us have lost friends to their freshman orientation (Bobby was cool in HS, but then his "1st year" happened). Some of us have been mocked for choosing to go to THE engineering school in the state over settling for their second rate program. Some of us have had to deal with our beloved campus being called ugly. The list goes on...

Since it's the real hate week, I am starting this thread so everyone can get it out of their system. Share your experiences that have typified the unfortunately not very rare beast we know as the UVa douchebag.

There are numerous threads like this, but I'm not interested in reading your rant from 5 years ago. I want you to re-type it out with all the rancor and bitterness you can muster. Only stories you have experienced personally, please.

DISCLAIMER: Forum topics may not have been written or edited by The Key Play staff.


2014 game, guy behind me was wearing nothing but a pink button up shirt and a bow tie in 14 degree weather and was the most obnoxious person I have ever met in my life. Dude was literally crying and whining after every play and would sing that dumb new years song, not just after every touchdown, but every FIRST down.

Dude cried after Dadi knocked out Lambert

You put those words together, those are my favorite words, Popeyes and bahama
- Mike Burnup

guy behind me was wearing nothing but a pink button up shirt and a bow tie

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Please say his junk was not hanging out!

Year 3 is coming up!

At the end of the 2005 season after beating their ass on their home turf, many fans walked up to me and

A) Called me a hillbilly
b) Said it doesn't matter because they have higher SAT scores

More to come shortly. as my pro team has a UVA troll that is just the worst human on the face of the planet. I just started a thread to troll him. He will take the bait.


Update, he took the bait, but I can't get him too enraged without going full asshole. I am slowly poking the bear. He finally came out of his shell.

Well, losing 17 of 18 helps
Greg from LI : 4:05 pm : link : reply
Then there was this from 2007. Remember?

Just when Virginia football fans were starting to get over the "Hokie lovefest" in the regular season-ending Virginia Tech game at Scott Stadium, they were reminded of the whole scenario by the "Hokie flyover" at the Gator Bowl.

Prior to UVa's bowl game against Texas Tech on New Year's Day, an airplane flew over Jacksonville Municipal Stadium with a banner attached that read: "WE HOKIES HAVE ACC + BCS ... U HAVE VA PRIDE."

Cavalier fans were already steamed over what many of them perceived as an excessive show of unity between the two football rivals prior to their annual clash on Nov. 24, won by Virginia Tech, 33-21. With the win, the Hokies won the Coastal Divison title and a spot in the ACC Championship game, where they defeated Boston College. They went on to lose to Kansas in the Orange Bowl.

Littlepage turned that game into a de-facto Tech home game out of sensitivity after the shootings, we proceed to lose, and then some Tech fan or fans actually spends a fair amount of money to have a plane fly over our bowl game with a banner mocking us? Class all the way.

There's also the fact that you've had more than a few extremely hateable players like the Vicks and Me-Lo Hall. There's the dipshit car keys. The delusions of grandeur that you're some kind of elite program when you get waxed every time you play an actual elite team. The fact that you get mostly dominated in every other sport but since half of your fans cheer for other schools in those sports anyway, it barely matters. (eg - the hordes of Hokie football/Tar Heel basketball fans)/ Etc, etc.

The losing streak amplifies all that. It's a lot easy to shrug things like that off when you win at least occasionally. Once we win one, a lot of the hatred will simmer down.

UVA Fans


[Total # of Tech fans / 2] are Tech Football / UNC Basketball fans? News to me.

"What kind of person would throw away a perfectly good dog?"

Why do UVA fans claim that VT only cares about VT football and roots for Duke/UNC in basketball and in other sports? Im a Hokie through and through and get pumped when I hear about any VT sport doing well. VT Track and Field has been a top 10 team in the country last 5 years, not to mention the wrestling program as of late.

Pour some Beer on it

I root for Duke/UNC when they play UVA but it's more of a "since they can't both lose."

Because they do exist, but they're what you call "bandwagon fans" who have little or no ties to either university.

This is true but I still can't figure out why they think having "bandwagon fans" is something to look down upon. One of the main reasons VT has done well and will continue to do well is because of the inclusiveness in our fanbase. If UVa figured out that some people just want to follow a winning team in their state or that they like and are not in love with TJ and the rotunda then they might be dominate in the series. I think it may be because the bourgeois UVa grad lives on another planet and lacks the empathy and relatability to see how fortunate he is go to a good college and accept people that he perceives as lesser. This is the culture that seeps into their athletics since its still associated with University . Either way I hope that VT grads don't follow down UVa's path in this regard, it seems to me that having this attitude is very contagious and as a VT grad I know that I need to be less judgemental towards non-alumni fans.

"bandwagon fan" refers to someone who suddenly becomes a fan of a team once they're good.. alumni as well as random people can be bandwagon fans.

The point of dissing "bandwagon fans" is the annoying habit they have of jumping off of said bandwagon when a season goes bad or another team catches their fickle fancy.

Reel men fish on Wednesdays

I gave you a leg cuz you were talking shit about loluva.

Bourgeouis is an interesting place to take that rant.

Old sigline: I've been cutting back on the drinking.

New Sigline: lol it's football season.

What's he talking about the car keys?

No clue.

It's he saying he's against Designated Drivers? Sorry we don't have chauffeurs, Carruthers!

Yall serious, clark?

If you can't take a little bloody nose, maybe you ought go back home and crawl under your bed. It's not safe out here. It's wondrous! With treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross. But it's not for the timid...

Any Christmas Vacation reference will always get a leg from from EPW.

"What kind of person would throw away a perfectly good dog?"


It's literally in the site logo.


Go Hokies

Go Falcons

I believe he is referring to key plays.. This is very tame for him. Every time we bring up Hokie players as possibility to draft, he will jump in and call them Hokie Scum.


Side note... Shouldn't the MEME at the top be...


You put those words together, those are my favorite words, Popeyes and bahama
- Mike Burnup


Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

It took two years for an LOLUVA student I know to get over his depression, stemming from the fact that he was stuck in a university in which half of the student body is made up of pseudointellectual snobs.

Don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because, this is just a ride.

That's actually sad if it's true. He should've just transferred

It's true, and the guy was able to come to terms with the situation and move on to have a happy life after graduating. I guess my story wasn't based on douchbaggery, but a sad reality, so I don't know if it fits in this thread or not.

Don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because, this is just a ride.

I have a really good friend that went to UVA. I have tried to hang out with him a couple of times, which regretfully includes his UVA friends as well. Outside of their snobbishness and superiority complex, the last straw is when they dutifully explained how they embrace the characteristic of being a "yuppy" and think of it as a term of pride. I still love my friend, but I will never hang out with him w/ his friends again. Nothing but Zima and douchebaggery with that clan.

80's- drove to my first UVA game with 8 of us from Burg on day of game. One as a Delta Upsilon member and said we'd have fun at the frat afterwards. We killed them field. Went to DU afterwards and even with our DU member, there were few people there and those there weren't really into interaction. Our group went outside to the back of the house and a few minutes later hear a thump/thud about 2 feet behind us and some moaning. Thought the guy was trying to run up behind us or something and tripped. A minute later one of his brothers is yelling for someone to call an ambulance and said he had jumped out the 3rd story window. Pretty bad broken leg and of course the ego too....we left and we were coming up with smart ass remarks on "why jump out a 3rd story window" all night.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

I have neither the time, nor any of you here the patience, for me to even start writing this epic tome that is 30 years in the making. I will, therefore, in the spirit of Hokie brotherhood, spare you.

Reel men fish on Wednesdays

You have 6 legs and counting... You know that means you're going to have to share. It's somewhere in the rules.

"What kind of person would throw away a perfectly good dog?"

Well, you asked for it. Let the dogs out, put the kids to bed and pour a stiff one. This will take a while.

It was a dark and stormy night....

Reel men fish on Wednesdays

It's funny you said that. I just poured my 3rd Four Rose's. I'm ready for a story my brother.

"What kind of person would throw away a perfectly good dog?"

Four Roses is pretty nice! Leg for good taste! Oh and for encouraging the stories.

OK, here's a teaser. The book comes out next year.
Early '80s, I was at one of my first games there. Before expansion, Scott Stadium was kind of a dump with far insufficient restroom facilities. There used to be crowds there for a lot of the football games, and a halftime, there was a crush to use those facilities. It was interesting watching doctors and lawyers and such dressed in serious suits and peeing into anything they could pee into. All sinks were piss pots, a trash can in the corner, and a 55 gallon drum that was in the middle. It was ringed with these snazzily dressed guys, drunk as lords and peeing merrily along, laughing (the 'whoo?s were up at the half) and whooping it up. Thing is, they were too drunk to notice the holes in the bottom of the drum and they were peeing all over their shoes. Not boots, not sensible walking shoes, these shoes would have cost me a month's wages and they were oblivious. Now I guess I could have been a bro and pointed it out to them, but instead, I went out and fetched the two Hokies who were there with me so they could bear witness. Honestly, I cannot remember the year, nor the outcome of the game, but I'll never forget the yellow shoe shine stand in the loluva bathroom. Priceless.

Reel men fish on Wednesdays

I graduated in 2010 but have never missed a UVA-VT game since 2007, so I hitched a ride from Richmond to CHarlottesville for the 2011 game. After the Beatdown "38-0 Bro" game I partied way too much downtown with my VT Fraternity brothers , we felt like we owned the place. We ended up crashing at my friends little brothers Fraternity house and had to sleep on the digustingly dirty (never been cleaned) floor and got almost zero sleep. I woke up that morning feeling terrible, had a bad allergy reaction from all the dust from sleeping on the floor and had almost completely lost my voice from yelling during the game/late night singing.

I was to meet my ride back to Richmond at 9:15 AM at the Thomas Jefferson Statue. I get there 30 minutes early and was waiting around for my ride when I noticed TJ was sporting a Maroon VT T-shirt. I was pumped and started taking out my phone to get photos and a UVA grad news anchor approached me and asked for an interview. I politely told him I felt terrible and could barely speak as my voice was gone. I didn't sound like myself and it hurt to try and speak. The guy then says "no Problem, I'll just get your name and will quote you in the paper if thats cool". Sounded fine to me, so he starts asking what I thought about the "vandalism" all while people are screaming in the background "get that ugly color off TJ". I told the guy I thought it wasn't that big of a deal as its just a t-shirt and in good fun, but that it might be in poor taste as someone had to climb this 30 foot statue to put the shirt on" I also mentioned something like "maybe this will fire up the UVA squad for next season to make the game more competitive".
An hour and a half later and I'm almost back to Richmond when my phone blows up with people calling/texting me that I'm on TV and that I need to lighten up as the VT shirt on TJ was awesome and why did I look so fucked up and what was wrong with my voice. The UVA grad TV guy had his camera on the entire time and recorded our entire convo. He was holding a large camera in his hand at his side and had it pointed up at me the entire time. I checked out the online article/video when I got back and was getting roasted in the comment section by my fellow VT fans calling me a pussy and that the joke was hilarious. I thought it was genius and awesome but was just trying to take it easy on them as we were 11-2 and had just beat them down 38-0. Never again will I hold back my distaste for the douchebags of UVA.

I found the link to the article but the video has been removed.


Pour some Beer on it

You could have scared the hell out of that reporter by threatening legal action for video taping you after you said no.

You will see this game, this upset and this sign next on ESPN Sportscenter. Virginia Tech 31 Miami 7

Better yet, you should have actually sued them, as they didn't have permission to use your image.

Well, depending on the release you signed.

TJ looks good with a VT shirt. Speaking of TJ, who wrote The Declaration of Independence, can anyone explain to me what a Cavalier has to do with TJ?

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

Serious about looking good and serious about the whole cavalier thing... That just doesn't make sense.

You know Thomas Jefferson founded UVA, right?

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

My understanding of his question was that it was more "what does the cavalier mascot have to do with TJ/UVA" not "what does TJ have to do with UVA". I may be mistaken.

Thomas Jefferson was a lover of all things ffrench. Ergo, his school chose a French homosexual with a sword as a mascot. Seems pretty straightforward to me.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

How do the scissors fit in there? Why is their logo scissors?

Old sigline: I've been cutting back on the drinking.

New Sigline: lol it's football season.

Exactly! How are Royalist Loyalists related to the guy that wrote the DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE?

Royalist Loyalists

You got a lot going on there.

Old sigline: I've been cutting back on the drinking.

New Sigline: lol it's football season.

Absolutely. He must be rolling over in his grave.

you may know this already but just for information purposes:

Cavalier is someone that is loyal to the crown. The Commonwealth of Virginia had quite a large amount of Royalists before and during the American Civil Revolutionary War. The term originally came from the Cavalier (pro crown) v Roundheads (pro parliament) Conflict in 1600s in English Civil War.

Notice a resemblance?

Important to note that the Cavaliers lost in the English Civil War, the American Civil Revolutionary War and now annually in the Commonwealth Cup. Also the term literally refers to someone that is opposed to the USA so also hilariously ironic that they get their ass kicked by the blue collar boys from the Blue Mountains. douchey mother phuckers

As it was explained to me by a provost of lolUVA the mascot is reverence for the first Virginians (lets read aristocratic Virginians here) despite their loyalist agenda and TJ's heavy involvement with the Order of the Chevalier in France that was the French equivalent to the Cavaliers in England.

could be wrong. but that's the best I got.

American Civil War


whoops! +1

So Hoos are by definition unpatriotic and anti-American? I'll buy that.

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

Yes, quite literally one of the first sets of douchebags in the history of our nation.

Not politics, but fuck, almodt politics.

Old sigline: I've been cutting back on the drinking.

New Sigline: lol it's football season.

Also related; Cavalier controlled Jamestown was burned to the ground by Nathaniel Bacon, so they couldn't defend their home that well, either. Some things never change.

Go Hokies

Proving, yet again, the power of Bacon.

Reel men fish on Wednesdays

Some of us have had to deal with our beloved campus being called ugly.

If someone calls our campus ugly, they need to get their eyes checked. Whether you like Tech or not, you have to admit that it's one of the most beautiful campuses out there. Ray Charles thought it was beautiful.

But ya, pseudointellectual pretty much sums most of their student body up. If you want a good description of most UVA students, watch Colin Cowherd's rant on "The Starbucks Guy."

"What kind of person would throw away a perfectly good dog?"

I think the douchebaggiest thing that my LOLUVA friends try to claim is that they cannot recruit well because their academic standards are too high for them to get the best recruits. Then of course anyone would point to Stanford, Duke (in basketball), Notre Dame, Northwestern, and there's definitely more examples but I've made my point.

They ask you how you are and you just have to say that you're fine when you're not really fine.

Not to mention about 85% of our signees each year hold UVA offers.

One of the football players from my high school went to UVA with a football scholarship. I'm not entirely sure he could even spell his own name correctly, so yeah, that's absolute BS.

All week my boss who's a uva crazy fan has berated me with highlight videos of their b-ball team and how they're gonna dominate our hillbilly asses the next 4 years

Directions from Blacksburg to whoville, go north till you smell it then go east until you step in it

Mine is more personal in nature. The girl I dated for my junior and senior year of high school and freshmen year of college went to UVA. At some point during her Sophmore year she was assaulted by some rich frat bros. She didn't tell me till two years later because she was afraid I would do something to derail by public safety future. These rich Mf's used their family status and money to get minimal school punishment and to use the school to pressure her to not file charges. They gave her a settlement and she transferred out.

Wet stuff on the red stuff.

Join us in the Key Players Club

Girlfriend's sister is a wahoo grad, so I've heard a ton of stories about this sort of shit. I know it happens everywhere, but it really does seem that UVA is noticeably worse. Part of the reason that Rolling Stone story was so widely believed for so long was that it seemed to fit. Really pissed me off that it was fake, because that feeds the narrative that reports are falsified way more than they are.

Part of the reason that Rolling Stone story was so widely believed for so long was that it seemed to fit.

Well, that's also probably the reason that writer chose to go to UVa to make her story in the first place. Really unfortunate story on so many levels. And that's probably all we should say about that on this forum.

This must happen there a lot, because I know of a very similar story, but the case I know about she didn't prosecute.

I mean it happens at all colleges a lot. What got me was how the UVA employees acted. From the counselors to the police to admin.

Wet stuff on the red stuff.

Join us in the Key Players Club

Unfortunately, I think that kind of response from administrators and supposed authorities is more common than not. If they get caught covering it up, they'll fire some people and go right back to business as usual.

One of my high school classmates who went to UVA started a bow tie company last year.

There was a bunch of them that got caught peeing into gas tanks of cars with Tech stuff on them. This was maybe like 8 years ago. I did not witness it myself, however if I had and it was my truck, heads would have rolled unlike heads have ever rolled before.

If you can't take a little bloody nose, maybe you ought go back home and crawl under your bed. It's not safe out here. It's wondrous! With treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross. But it's not for the timid...

Which heads, the big ones or the little ones?

Reel men fish on Wednesdays

I'm guessing the answer is "yes."

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

My UVA douchebag story?

One day, Thomas Jefferson created a university full of douchebags.

The End.

I'll never forget this. I was apartment hunting after getting my first job. My mom had tagged along, and we were out to lunch when I overheard a group of folks talking with their daughter about visiting schools, and she mentioned how she liked both VT's and UVA's campuses. I turned around and said that I graduated from tech, and of course loved it. Her mom (I'm assuming), who was wearing a UVA shirt, said "yeah, but what sort of job could you get with a degree from VT?".

To which I answered: "Actually, I just got my first job, and I start Monday. I'll be a rocket scientist." She literally didn't say a word after that.


I broke my mouse trying to continuously upvote this

Yeah 'cause he's got a life where he'll actually do something.

Bravo, brother, bravo.
Friday afternoon at quitting time you'll sit back, tired. You'll grin because you accomplished something.
You didn't just move a pile of paper from one pile to the next.

Homer Hickam will get after ya'!!!


If we had a Hall of Fame for comments, this would be a shoo-in.

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

Been here for over 4 years. This comment may end the pinnacle of my Key Playing.


You design rockets. Keep aiming higher!

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

I was at Lane North for UVA's annual beatdown, when some kid decides to start heckling me (on behalf of UVA). The joke was that UVA hadn't beaten VT in football in that kid's lifetime

2013, had a couple kids keep yelling "Duck Dynasty" at me and things of that nature. To be fair, I had a pretty hefty beard, hair past my shoulders, a camo Tech hat, and dirty, black overalls. But I had had a couple cold beers that day and was ready to throw fisticuffs with children. (I didn't)

“Stats are for losers.” -Mel Kiper Jr.

H_ighlander_okie - when I encountered you in the glory that is the Lions Club lot, you did not appear that bewhiskered. But, good for you for earning the ire of the Hoos.

Marriage will get after ya.

“Stats are for losers.” -Mel Kiper Jr.

15 years of my screen name here.

Not douchebaggery, but I'll share this LOLUVA story here anyway.

This was from the 2011 38-0 game. I got a drink at some point and while I was looking at the cup, I realized the date. They were still selling 2010 cups in November of 2011, which I thought was funny. More 2010 cups than fans to buy them!

I'm sure its because they sold out of all the 2011 with their blowout attendance that season

If you can't take a little bloody nose, maybe you ought go back home and crawl under your bed. It's not safe out here. It's wondrous! With treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross. But it's not for the timid...

I was on the hill in '07 I believe, and as soon as the game was no longer in doubt this little shitbird UVA fan yells at a group of us Tech fans "YALL ARE ALL STILL FARMERS AND MY DAD IS RICH AS FUCK!!!" I laughed my ass off at this loser.

It cannot be understated the arrogance of these people, they are some of the lowest forms of humans for supposedly being as high class and smart as they claim. It is easy to forget this after we have beaten their ass for 13 years, but you must not lose sight. They have no shame and enjoy being worse than any stereotype or joke can be about them. Beating them never gets old and remember things like this if you think the luster has worn off.

I was on tbe hill in 07 fr that game. I kept hearing "go home and fuck your cattle you poor farmer". Didnt want to get kicked out of the game for fighting, but I def daydreamed of what I would have done...

Pour some Beer on it

but I def daydreamed of what I would have done...

Fucked your cattle?

... fixed the cable?

Don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because, this is just a ride.

I have a few:

1. My brother are both Tech alums, walking into Scott and we were behind this exceptionally tall man. And I said to my brother, "That's Ralph Sampson." Ticket taker asks for his ticket, UVA fan behind us says he doesn't need to show anyone a ticket, my brother retorts, "That's right!" I whisper to my brother, "Ask him how his child support payments are going."

2. Again my brother and I. We are in Atlanta for the Chick-fil-A Bowl against Georgia, in some fancy hotel we aren't staying in. I think we were there for a pep rally? So there is a large glass elevator, and I decide I want to ride it 4 times. Once all the way up looking up, once all the way down looking up, once all the way up looking down, and finally once all the way down looking down. Surprisingly no one got in the elevator to interrupt this. Anyways, on the 4th, going down looking down, I see a blue dot talking to a maroon dot. And I think to myself Georgia isn't blue. So my brother and I walk over and it's a Tech fan talking to a UVA fan. Tech fan says, "So what are you doing here again?" UVA fan says, "Well I bought the tickets at the start of the year. I guess I thought Virginia would be good enough to go to the bowl." Tech fan retorts, "Aren't you guys supposed to be for higher education?"

I legged this post solely in support of the elevator portion of the story. Well done sir.

Having a conversation with you is like a Martian talking to a Fungo.


Oh my, where do I begin. Well, not exactly the first, but one of the first memories I have of this douchebaggery comes from shortly before my high school graduation. We are gathered at a big summer cookout, and a UVA fan family friend knows I am going to Tech, and another friend of mine is going to JMU but has applied to UVA (code for didn't get into UVA). This asshole openly opines that I couldn't get into UVA, thus why I applied to VT, and my friend to both UVA and JMU. So that really pissed me off.

Then, at a bar back home during Thanksgiving break, I was watching the VT-UVA game at a local bar with some fellow highschool/VT classmates, and when we celebrate because of a big VT score, I hear a UVA fan (who is a grown man) with his wife and child say, "well you idiots couldn't get into UVA, so enjoy." I turn and look at him, and it's obvious he hadn't gone anywhere - as pissed as I was, I see his wife and kid - and I decide to be the better man and just walk away.

Folks, both VT and UVA are fine universities. In fact, they partner in many ways academically (believe it or not). But if you're an asshole who wants to start demeaning people because you think you're superior to me - then fuck off. I graduated from VT and a UVA grad program (guys, I know, but please don't kill me). So please, step the hell off your high horse.

So please, step the hell off your high horse.


Nah. Nope.

Waho's suck
Uva swallows

No freakin' chance

Yup. You're right. Probably should've led with that one.

Waho's suck
Uva swallows

My experience is pretty much the same as yours. I toured most of the well known VA state schools, and ultimately fell in love with VT. Applying early decision worked out well for me. When I first got my acceptance letter I was mostly pretty ignorant to the rivalry, and I was just happy I got into my top choice and could go on cruise control for my last semester of high school.

I got my rude awakening shortly after the UVa acceptance letters came out. Not all, but certainly quite a few of the UVa folks who hadn't had anything to say about VT before, suddenly had a lot to say. I got the "you didn't apply because you knew you couldn't get in" as well, which was funny because the particular person who said that I knew had a lower GPA than me.

Nowadays, I don't run into UVa grads all that often, and I like to hope some of those people have matured since I saw them in high school, but it certainly helps me keep a grin on my face for the annual beatdown.

I don't have any bad memories of Uva fans but I have to say this FUCK UVA

I feed off of nightmares

Alright, so maybe I'm a rare case, but I've never really had a bad interaction with UVA fans. This could be due to being an out of state student and limited interaction outside of games/tailgates. I mean of those names listed above give me Miami or Pitt, I've hated Pitt since I was a wee lad, it's probably the first school I've ever hated. I hate Miami's non-school attending fans who show up when the dolphins are out of playoff contention/it's convenient (Sidebar: never met a Miami fan I hate, granted the only ones I know are all Nursing students).

...That's what Maryland does.

I don't give a damn what the fans think cause, quite frankly, I know what the fans want better than they do.

I'm not saying every UVA grad is a douche; just the ones I know.

Which are actually only 3; One transferred in from community college and became a banker. No big issues there, but he has since leveraged his banking position to get into a small investor group that low-balls low-income property owners. A pretty douchey side-biz, all things considered. Also left his fiancé at the alter.

The second was my mother-in-law's boss. UVa law grad from out west. Ran a debt collections biz, also ran a bar at the beach. Used his leverage to hire and sleep with young Russians. One Russian girl got caught drug-dealing, and he committed perjury distancing himself from her in court. (Though its only perjury if you get caught, which he didn't.)

Then my personal favorite, the third UVa grad. This was one of my best friends growing up. So ambitious and craved to be cool that he always over-embellished stories or made wild claims. Was very political, even in high school, serving as a senate page. Destine to become a lawyer (sorry, attorney) he lives and works up in NOVA. UVa has supplied him with a sense of elitism and culture, such as ties at football games, refusal to own jeans, and his love of Brooks Bros. shirts because they "breath." I just visited him this summer with his youngest brother, also a VT grad. Took him all 5 minutes to blow up at his brothers comment "who drinks cider!?" His 5-minute rant included the mistake of welcoming 2 VT alum into his home, how he was sure we would mock UVa football and Zima. I feel sorry for him, as I still see him as a kid trying to impress everybody. I wish he would have gone to VT instead; the world would be a better place with one less douche.

"When you're green, you're growing. When you're ripe, you rot." -Ray Kroc

serving as a senate page

Story checks out, senate pages are douchebags.

-Former house page

The Orange and Maroon you see, that's fighting on to victory.

Two years ago my friends and I mostly all tech fans went to the uva/tech game and had tickets in the second to last row. Behind us in the last row were the most drunk obnoxious uva fans. The worst was when a uva player was on the ground hurt they kept yelling at him to get off the field faster. How can you yell that when a player is injured I will never know. They had a few kids with them and they were so bad a kid no more than seven apologized to us for the adults in the group. Then after they won they literally were talking about how "excited they were it was basketball season and they could beat us"

even though in basketball we've split the last two years 2-2 against uva

They ask you how you are and you just have to say that you're fine when you're not really fine.

Will never forget this! I was in 9th grade playing jv football. One of the big donors always hung around practice and talked to the coaches after practice. He was in his 60's owned half of my town and wore UVA Shit from the 80's.

Anyone Welsh was still coaching and I remember joking around about how Welsh had a way of always knowing when the camera was on him cause he was always picking his nose with his thumb. Like every time. Dude had huge nostrils.

Old ass donor heard me and stopped us outside the locker room. "So you like tech huh, explains why you don't play here much. Not smart enough to remember the plays" "Welsh coaches circles around Beamer and this program wouldn't be were it is now without poindexter. Grove was a waste and not smart enough to play for Coach Welsh"

Being 14, I looked at him like, what the fuck is in your teeth and went on to my typical 9th grade ways. Dude chilled as time went on and was pretty cool when I coached there a few years later. But still pissed me off

"Welcome to the Terror Dome." -- Corey Moore

Pretty sure this UVA dude is a living, breathing NCAA violation...

As a booster, you may not:

Contact a prospect in-person on-campus or off campus

via NCAA.org

High school football. No NCAA violations in kiddy ball

"Welcome to the Terror Dome." -- Corey Moore

If you went to JF, I know which booster you are referring to...

Yes Sir!

"Welcome to the Terror Dome." -- Corey Moore

My story has to come from my first game in Lane North in person. It would end up being the 42-13 game from 2009, my senior year. I was sitting with my parents (decidedly less fun) as they had season tickets to UVA since my sister went there and it was easier than individual game tickets. So we were in the end zone that has seats, the game was close at half.

Ok, stage set. I was sitting next to this UVA "fan". The guy was dressed and acting like the classic UVA douche, but not really affecting me. At some point early in the second there was a questionable call and the guy starts yelling about a challenge. I knew that coaches only had one challenge per game and they had already used it. I explained it to the guy and he looks at me and just says, "Bro I don't care about anything you have to say."

Good part of the story, they didn't score in the second half, thanks CBF, and we scored 28, thanks T-mobile and RMFW.

Some of my dad's high school buddies said he was going to "tractor school" and "learning how to farm" at VT.

I grew up with a guy hoo was a huge UVA fan. He was convinced he was the next old money prodigy. He looked down on everyone he came across. He used to talk so much like your dad's high school buddies. He was the bow-tie wearing, Brie cheese eating weenie that Colin eluded to. Well...he's now behind bars at a Virginia Regional jail for some crimes his old man can't get him out of.

"What kind of person would throw away a perfectly good dog?"

I'm not sure this counts as douchebaggery, but this is the worst I've dealt with (I've done my best to avoid it really):
It was the 2009 game and my father (an '88 VT alumni) and I (a high school student at the time), are sitting in the upper deck next to a married couple who are UVA fans. Tyrod busts off a couple scrambles per usual and is doing his thing. The UVA starts running their Wildcat package with Vic Hall. The husband turns to us and says, "See? We've got a dumb athletic black quarterback, too!"
My father and I just looked at each other in shock.

"That move was slicker than a peeled onion in a bowl of snot." -Mike Burnop

I hated the way Vic Hall was used while there. Nothing short of a damn shame.

“Stats are for losers.” -Mel Kiper Jr.

Awwww yes. Story time kids - UVA fans hold a special place in my heart.

2011 game - At loluva - we spank that ass 38-0. It should be said I'm not really a shit talker, but I also don't tolerate it coming my way. After the pathetic excuse of a game I had been separated from my group exiting Lane North. As I was walking down the sidewalk back to the car, feeling jubilant about yet ANOTHER ASS WHOOPING of the hoos, a literal truckload (3 in the bed and 2 in the cab) of drunk fratboi's in the back of a pickup truck are riding slow through stopped up traffic and talking mad shit my way. I consider myself a pretty intelligent motherfucker. I'm not in a good spot to take on that fight. Traffic moves on. ----> Fast fwd about 10 min... I'm back almost to where my crew is and the car is parked - cops in the street directing traffic, etc - much friendlier environment for a spat when outnumbered. Walk up on same hoo fratboi's in the truck still sitting in traffic and wait for the shit talking. It comes. I say "don't talk about it, be about it." Three bois in the bed jump out and come at me. Throw the first in a ditch to my left, the other two came at me and I squared up and dropped one and had another in a clinch. Passenger fratboi jumps out of cab and comes at me. Next thing I know - cop is involved beating on fratboi's with me. 2 hoo fratbois got rekt by me and were in the ditch, the other two were cuffed and taken off by the police. 5th hoo fratboi drove off in his truck and left his boi's. I walked away unscathed and happy. Threw a VT magnet up on the overpass sign on the way out of town.

2012 game - BBurg - OHHHH YOU KNOW SHITS GOING DOWN. I'd like to reiterate - I'm not a shit talker, but I don't take kindly to it. Anywhere. TOTS - Friday night before game. With the crew. loluva fratboi looking guy with double popped collars (one blue and one orange) starts being creepy on a couple of our girls. Girls don't want to hear this guy and try to distance themselves - but like a fucking annoying gnat in the middle of summer........The girls have made it clear at this point they want this guy to scram - but hes a gnat. I finally tell him to bounce - double popped collar boi tells me he's some championed wrestler at loluva. He's about 5'7 170lb soaking wet. I'm bout 6'2 220lb strong. After a few words it was obvious he was of the same cloth of his boi's I tossed in a ditch the previous year. I let him graciously see how the floor tasted at TOTS at about 1am. Figured I could literally mop the floor with him. Bouncers hemped me up - they appreciated the gesture but were just doing their job. They let me go after about 5 minutes. Caught him again on the way out of TOTS at the end of the night - at that point he didn't want anything to do with me. Gave him a lil wet willy and called him some names that go hand-in-hand with loluva boi's and off he went.

I've been to Morgantown, Pittsburgh, Miami, bowl games, pretty much anywhere VT has played in the past 30 years and never had any problems anywhere else. Buy boy is it nice showing the hoos who Daddy is. GO HOKIES!! WIN BY 60!!

The 2011 frat boi incident is the real definition of 38-0, bro. The frat bois got shut out too LOL

1995 MV Drum Line marching out of Scott.

Folks cutting in line and "breaking rank" (nope), jokers driving up beside the drumline and opening car doors into us (close, but not quite)....how about drunk a-holes throwing beer bottles down on us as we marched out? That's it!

Luckily I deflected one with a drumstick that was inches away from hitting my buddy (Sheep) back on 3d bass. I'll never forget that.

When you mentioned "drumstick" I thought, "why on earth would he be carrying around a turkey leg?"

I digress.

If that guy's went by Shep,, not Sheep, I think I know him and went to school with him at PHS.

Nope, different guy.

I was in the Horn section in '95. Why don't I remember this? :(

Just hope Dave's replacement holds firm and never EVER lets their band onto Worsham Field.

I was at that game and having a lot of fun being there, especially at the end. I am surprised there was any trouble, though. I don't think I've ever seen a more demoralized, dispirited group of fans in my life. Surprised they mustered enough gumption to protest, throw bottles, or even gripe. Man, that was a glorious and thrilling victory that I will never forget.

Reel men fish on Wednesdays

I first went to a UVa game as a high school sophomore. Tagged along as an uninvited guest with a senior teammate who was being recruited by the Hoos. (They were playing Maryland, btw.) Decided that day I was going to W&M or Tech. My friend went to W&M and started three years. As far as douchebaggery goes, another friend from high school started his first year (isn't that freshman year?) bugging me to write a paper in Spanish for him for some sort of requirement to move into his declared major (business). That was back in the days of the speedster Tommy Vigorito, if you remember him. With my two years of high school stuff, I pumped it out and up my buddy went. I believe he is now some type of national sales manager for a major manufacturer. Those Hoos, they'll get after ya.

"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. " Rocky B.

$100k milking cows has a better return on investment than her education.

Very true. I never understood why one would pay that much to go to UVA to become a barista at Starbucks?

First year history major 😂 somehow I missed her in Forbes 30 Under 30

How do people not understand that running a farm is literally living in and managing a business with hundreds of thousands if not millions of dollars of assets? Assets that can die and ruin you.

Because living in a one room, 8' * 8' apartment in a high rise is more sophisticated.

If you can't take a little bloody nose, maybe you ought go back home and crawl under your bed. It's not safe out here. It's wondrous! With treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross. But it's not for the timid...

Amen to this. Until my sister and her family started running a vegetable farm, I never realized how much business sense it takes to be a successful farmer. Planning crops, organizing labor, creating a network of clients to buy your product (direct sales, restaurants, farmer's markets, wholesale auctions, etc), securing loans for equipment, and more that I don't even know about. It's enough to make my head spin. And then throw in 14 hour days all summer followed by absolutely nothing to do December through February and I think I'd go insane. So yeah, respect.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

There's a whole lot of fucking retard going on in there.

Old sigline: I've been cutting back on the drinking.

New Sigline: lol it's football season.

The "culture vs agriculture" shit. I grew up on a farm. I will live on a farm most of my life. I'm also an architect. I don't need some pretentious ass talking to me about culture. I've seen more and experienced more than they probably ever will. I've received a very practical education, both in school and in life. I can't complain about where I've ended up. I went to the best school in the state (country at the time) for what I wanted to do in life. I wouldn't begin to fault someone for going to UVa, if it provides them with the best education they can get. Likewise, they shouldn't fault someone for doing the same.

I had a cousin who wanted to go down a medical path. UVa was a more logical choice at the time; I had no issues with this selection. This cousin grew up in a farm/ag industry family. Cousin goes off to UVa, and within a year comes back spouting off about Tech and "Culture vs Agriculture". It was a moment when you just stare in disbelief.

Uncle has a farm. Very successful, also went to Tech (as did just about everyone else in the family). Cousin (farmer's daughter) 'breaks the mold' and runs off to hooville community college. Comes back with the culture v. agriculture bullshit.

Utterly incapable of understanding how the agriculture paid for the 'culture'.

We don't get along real well any more. Fingers crossed I can send her my once a year text message friday night.

Old sigline: I've been cutting back on the drinking.

New Sigline: lol it's football season.

So, did you text her?

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

Lol. I did not. The reason we don't get along is because she really pissed off my sister and treated her badly. They were really close but had a falling out. I think they've been trying to work it out.

With about 4 minutes left in the fourth quarter sister texts me "do not you fucking dare talk shit to (cousin) tonight".

Old sigline: I've been cutting back on the drinking.

New Sigline: lol it's football season.

As someone with a UVA relative, can I suggest congratulating them on a win in a sport no one follows? "Great win by the women's squash team over Easter Independent School of Feline Dentistry Stafford Campus this weekend!" It would mean more to any real Hoo than football anyway, and lets them know you really care and thought of them without technically rubbing their face in 14 years of tears.

Sometimes we live no particular way but our own

This is an excellent idea, however, I would then have to keep up with UVA athletics and I can't bring myself to do that. Even so, have a leg.

When they brag about their national titles I say, " I know, that 1981 Women's Rowing Championship was absolutely unforgettable!"

You will see this game, this upset and this sign next on ESPN Sportscenter. Virginia Tech 31 Miami 7

I work with a guy who went to CVCC for his associates then finished up a degree at LOLUVa. As such he missed the first years indoctrination so he's not your typical UVa type. He doesn't give a shit about football, but still manages to bring it up every monday after we lose a game and then as soon as you start talking about LOLUVa's dumpster fire, he says sports don't matter anyway...

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Hmm, I think I know this guy. If not, I know a guy who works for y'all now who fits that mold precisely.

"What kind of person would throw away a perfectly good dog?"

Hmmmm what year did he graduate from CVCC? I may know him #gocougars

I have no idea why my username is VT_Warthog.

Arkansas blew a 24-0 lead in the Belk Bowl.

My dad got his Master's Degree from UVDouche and we lived in Richmond when I was young. My father used to take me to UVA basketball and football games for years. I had always assumed that is where I would be going..........until I visited VT for the first time. Standing in the middle of the campus at night on my very first trip, I decided that VT is where I would attend and the thought of Charlottesville and that campus literally made me question what I ever saw in it. My disdain for those douche pilots from Lane North is why I decided to get my MBA from William and Mary and I married a JMU alum...............so in my home and Mancave, it is anything BUT UVa!

Jeremiah 29:11 and Go Hokies!

Honestly, I don't have any personal stories of UVA being UVA. I grew up close to Charlottesville, so a lot of the people I attended high school with were UVA fans, only by proximity. I've been a life long Hokie since my dad went to school there, so I remember being picked on for wearing VT colors in school, but nothing more than that. I have some friends went to UVA and I went to VT. Typically this game in Charlottesville is a great opportunity for me to catch up with those old friends - and we lightly bash each other's schools based on stereotypes, but all in good fun. Certainly will miss going to Charlottesville this year for the reunion and win #14 in a row.

Short and sweet...

I was a soon-to-be junior at VT and was home for summer. Had a bonfire at my friends house and a couple of I knew from high school (but not the same year as me) who were going to UVA came over as well. I asked what year he was and said "2nd year."

I threw up in my mouth.

Bleeding burnt orange and chicago maroon

Back in the mid 1990s I was providing audio production for a popular Blacksburg based band at a fraternity party after the game. I think the game was the Saturday prior to Thanksgiving, we were all headed home from there as I recall. So we arrive, setup, soundcheck, everyone is happy and looks like its going to be a great show. So VT comes to town and wins the game, I dont remember if it was an ass whoppin or not, I wasn't really all that into football then. So its showtime, we arrive with all our friends and girlfriends, to locked doors. After being huge dicks, they only let the band and me in, and tell all the rest to gtfo. Very awkward and tense show.. and I really have not been back there for a show since. Before that, this particular band played up there a couple of times a year at the winter and spring block parties, and we always had a blast.

As someone somewhat familiar with mid 90's Bburg bands, my curiosity prevails. Would you be amenable to naming names?

Reel men fish on Wednesdays

My money is on the Marching Virginians

Chem PhD '16

I didn't mention it because, I'm having a brain cramp on what it was.. I doubt it has anything to do with any of the alcohol..;-) I'm still friends with Ron, the singer/guitarist, Ill have to hit him up. Pretty sad considering how many gigs we did. I think their name was Soul Driver later on, but it was something else before that..

Mouse Rat?

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Rat Mouse? Just the Tip? Fiveskin? Fourskin? Threeskin? Andy Dwyer Experience?


Chem PhD '16

Ummmm, sorry I axed.

Reel men fish on Wednesdays

FOSTERS: Australian for defense

Had to create an account just to share this. My first UVA-VT game I've ever gone to about 5 years ago at Lane. I looked to my right and there is a guy decked out head to toe in UVA gear, and he was reading a book.

This wasn't before the game, or during half time or anything, this was the middle of the second quarter. I look back over with 2 minutes left, Antone Exum just picked off a pass, tied at 14. Guy still just chilling, reading his book.

I didn’t go to Tech. But I regret that decision.

Courtesy of the community...

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

As much as I laughed at this, I had to cringe. For several years, I used to cadge Bball tickets from a friend who couldn't always attend. For at least three years, in the seat in front of me was a woman who was ALWAYS there, and ALWAYS read a book throughout the entire basketball game, regardless of on court action. Every single game, seemed never to look up, without exception. My guess was that she was ''required'' to attend, spousal affiliation or some such thing, but c'mon lady!

Reel men fish on Wednesdays

There is a lady and her husband that sits in front of my parents seats in Lane. She plays on her iPad every single game, while her husband is next to her watching the Hokies. She is definitely required to attend.

Maybe we just discovered the easiest way to sneak in alcohol to Scott Stadium.

Step 1: Purchase Don Quixote (976 pages - I had to google to find a book with a lot of pages to this works)
Step 2: Hollow out inside
Step 3: Place alcohol stash inside
Step 4: Take to game
Step 5: Remove alcohol, put in drink (or drink straight)
Step 6: Use books to fend off asshat UVA fans.

Or, and probably easier, just do what AssPocket does... and hide bottles in inconspicuous places in clothing.

Yeah, about that. The AssPocket was completely thwarted Friday night. Nobody warned a MFer about metal detectors at Lane North. Had to quickly stash the AssPocket in the parking lot under someone's tire or risk losing it. Had I known, I have non-metallic backups. Luckily, I somehow found it later at halftime when I had to go check on an APFOW Sr. that had forgotten that tailgating for night games is a marathon and not a sprint.

"How the ass pocket will be used, I do not know. Alls I know is, the ass pocket will be used."
- The BoD

I typically go with collapsible water bottles - just make sure they do not have the metal carabiner. Can usually get a about 20oz or so of bourbon into the game for the row.

A story from my dad from my childhood.

Some of you may remember Holdren's (later Haverty's). If you don't, they were an electronics retailer in competition with Circuit City in the 80s and 90s. My dad had just left Circuit City to start working for them, helping to set up their first car audio installation shops. This particular one happened to be where else?


So they have a vehicle in the bay when the owner comes up. Turns out he was a professor in the electrical engineering department at LOLUVA and he, looking down at my dad over his nose, wanted to know what qualified them to work on his car.

My dad, trying to break the ice (plus being a VT fan) responded with a joke: "Well, I got my masters in B.S. (hint: not Bachelor of Science) at Jury-rig U."

Rather than smirk at an obvious pun, the professor just went "Oh" and walked off.

Am I missing something? What kind of asshole brings their car in to have work done and then asks what qualifies them to work on his car? You did, dipshit. By bringing your car in here and asking us to work on it.

Nope, not missing a thing. Just shows how arrogant they are and then how dumb they are when you tell them you got a masters of B(ull) S(hitting) at Jury-rig U

When I chose to go to Tech out of HS, almost all of my friends ended up at LOLUVa. I didn't even apply because I only considered schools with top 20 mechanical engineering programs. We were from Charlottesville and I guess the idea of being able to party, but still go home and have your mom do your laundry was too much to turn down. One of these friends, who went to LOLUVa for electrical engineering, asked me, "You're a smart guy, why would you go to a crappy school like Tech?" He then tried to convince me that an engineering degree from LOLUVa was much more valuable than one from Tech. A couple year's later, this guy (who failed out of engineering and ended up getting a marketing degree, by the way) and I were having a heated political argument and he actually dropped the phrase "you weren't even good enough to get into UVa." Again, I didn't even apply, but why let facts get in the way of good old fashioned condescension?

I will give the wahoos this: my GF in high school got wait-listed at LOLUVa and was going to go to Tech instead. Thank God LOLUVa ended up accepting her off the wait list so I didn't have to deal with her in Blacksburg. Of course, she would never tell anyone she was wait-listed or that she probably only got in because she checked a lot of affirmative action boxes (female in sciences, minority). My unweighted gpa almost trumped her weighted one, so her saying I couldn't have gotten into LOLUVa doesn't hold a whole lot of water.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

My dad played football at Tech, my uncle at UVA. My sister and I went to Tech, two of my uncle's daughters went to UVA. There has been healthy banter between the two families for years, but it has dwindled in the last decade. They don't even pretend to care about any other sports besides football.

In late 2003 when I was applying to colleges, I applied 3 places. JMU as a backup school (good school but had my sights set on Engineering). Tech as my first choice. UVA just so I could turn them down.

I got in all 3 and get to use that against any UVA douchebaggery that gets thrown my way.

I'm from Maryland, so I don't personally know many people that actually went to UVA besides two of my bosses, and two of my coworkers (there are 4 Wahoos and 3
Hokies in our office). There's always some friendly banter but they never want to get into it too much because they realize that out of all their nattys - which are definitely impressive - only one is in one of the four major sports (soccer is gaining popularity but I don't consider it a 'major' sport or revenue sport).

Most of the general bullshittery I've seen is all online 'fans' which are most likely people who didn't even go to the school.

I also have a certain amount of respect for the school because they did save my brother-in-laws life twice when he was in infant, and my wife's Uncle once when the local Whytheville hospital didn't have the means.

All that being said, I hope they spill wine on their bow ties and tears soak the books they're trying to read during the game en route to another 38-0 bro.

EDIT: my dad just told me a pretty funny story in relation to UVA. My uncle went to VT and my dad went to JMU. One weekend my dad was in town visiting my Uncle and they went to ToTs. This was back in the early 80s, when 'the style' was to wear several polos with the collars popped.

A guy wearing two polos with both collars popped and a UVA hat (surprise) was playing darts when they got there, and a few minutes later a very large man in a Tech shirt walked over.. without saying anything, he ripped the glued-on alligator off of his Lacoste shirt and casually walked away.

They supposedly saw the same guy later on that evening and he had found a sewing needle somewhere and affixed the Lacoste gator to his tech t-shirt with fishing line.

Your dad's story sounds more like a douchey Tech fan, other than the multiple popped collars from the Hoo.

My boss is a UVA grad and he's the quintessential "I'm a UVA basketball fan and don't even watch UVA football unless they're winning" guy. I've worked for this man for going on a decade now, and after every one of those years we return from thanksgiving break, he'll come to my office and make typical small talk about how the thanksgiving went, all the while not giving me the satisfaction of even mentioning that VT had just beaten UVA in football (again). Ten fucking years we do this song and dance where he acts all nonchalant about the game even existing in the first place, all the while i am screaming in my head at the man, "IN YOUR FACE, CAVMAN!"

So guess what happens this year since UVA appears somewhat competent at fooseball? He walks in my office on Tuesday wearing a UVA shirt (never done that before). He points to the "V" logo and says, "We're gonna kick y'alls asses on Friday!"

It took every ounce of strength not to say, "oh, you watch uva football now? Huh? Weird. Where you been the last decade when we were waxing y'alls asses year after year after fucking year? You didn't seem to care about those games but now you're a UVA football fan, eh?"

He is the worst kind of fair weather sports fan, a trait that is pervasive in UVA culture.

"You know when the Hokies say 'We are Virginia Tech' they're going to mean it."- Lee Corso

In the spirit of full disclosure, I admit to having several UVA fans as friends and acquaintances, one who graduated VT but has lived in Charlottesville for so long that he's been co-opted into their culture. These are nice folks, smart and funny people who genuinely care about sports. They'll all tell you that they hate losing to us in any sport, and they do (and always have) love their basketball and baseball programs, but they also still care about football, just not as much after years of butt waxing. I get that. Over the years of mediocrity, or worse, they've pulled back from having to attend the games to watching on TV if they can, even listening on the radio, but they just don't feel a great need to rearrange their lives every weekend in the Fall to hang on every play like many or most of us do. If loluva were to raise the level of their play, I fully expect most of those fans to slowly trickle more regularly back into Scott, but not until they can at least hope for not getting burned for their effort. Now, these are older fans that have never abandoned their team, really, but have lost enthusiasm. Since I knew them when they actually had something to cheer about, I hope this doesn't occur, especially at our expense, but they're definitely not bandwagon fans. I used to love to rub it in, but I don't bother to do it to these folks. No need. They see me after Thanksgiving and just shake their heads. If they break the streak, these folks won't be trying to rub it in with me either, being fully cognizant of the last 18 years. No, I think they'll be breathing a sigh of relief and seeing how it goes next year before they get cocky about it. I'd enjoy it if they were more douchey about it, given our streak, but I consider myself lucky to know some of the "better" UVA fans.

Reel men fish on Wednesdays

I live way out in the hinterlands of the west. I'm three hours from an international airport. I rep Tech everywhere. All my cars are 'tatted out'. I can't remember the last time I went on a vacation that didn't include an eye roll from my stepmom or Mrs. Lwyr at the 'go hokies' from random strangers. We have the best alumni and the best fans.

I keep an eye out. I don't see les ciseaux anywhere.

Fuck I hate those shitmonkeys. Arrogant fuckbags.

Old sigline: I've been cutting back on the drinking.

New Sigline: lol it's football season.

I'm from NC so I don't get too much UVa stuff. UNC is a different story because they have the same distaste with the same culture vs agriculture arguments and the "you only applied to VT because you couldn't get into UNC"... But I haven't heard that kind of crap in a decade.

The only UVa tidbit I know, and really the only UVa interaction I've really had is a coworker I knew who went to UVa. I work in IT, and she was umm... Clueless from the start. I heard she got laid off earlier this year for being the lowest on the rank stack. I didn't say it was a good story.

"Some days you’re a horse and some days you’re a horse’s ass. I’ve been a horse’s ass for a little while." - Roy Halladay

I dunno that had a happy ending

The only friend I still have from HS who went to LOLUVa wrapped up his degree and realized he had no employment prospects. So he went and got an accounting degree from VCU and now he's a CPA.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

I once told a UVA grad I was an Oakland Athletics fan. She asked how that was possible. "Athletic is a verb not a noun." She then walked away.

FOSTERS: Australian for defense

That's so wrong that it's brilliant.

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

Reminding us all of the punch line of the old joke. "OK, where's the stadium at, asshole."

Reel men fish on Wednesdays

I work in silicon valley at a tech company. I've hired 2 UVA grads to work for me. Both were quintessential. So unbelievably entitled. They both thought they should be on path to CEO and neither did any work for the company. It was always about advancement of their careers. That type of attitude always comes back to bite you at a startup. One actually ended up getting fired and the other left because he had no path there. The ome who got fired was a few years older and had an MBA from Wharton.

One day we were at a team happy hour and she started talking about her career path in tech. Just to clarify a million people would die for her job and she was complaining that she's always been held back for one reason or another and that she should be further in her career. Then she said "I mean I'm older than you and went to UVA and Wharton. You went to Virginia Tech and haven't worked in tech as long as me". Mind you I'm 35 years old and think college is important to some degree but not for career comparison 15 years later. Anyways, she tried to backpeddle when I gave her the "are you kidding look", but it was too late. She ended up getting fired because she wasn't able to work with other people at the company. I try not to generalize but I work with people from all the top schools and have only experienced this type of loser behavior from UVA grads.


I read the saber last night. The end.

There was this one time the day after Thanksgiving that a guy I knew about was doing a lot of running. At one point, he ran nicely and ended up plowing over a UVA guy. The UVA guy got frustrated and took a swing at him, but ended up hitting a zebra instead! Needless to say, the zebra didn't take to kindly to being hit and hit back with something fiercer.

Can't blame the UVA guy, though, it's understandable. He was an astronomer a few years back, identified five stars and then went to UVA because he thought it would further his astronomy career. Never quite lived up to his high school potential, went 0-4 in new-star-identification (although he seems to have tried way more times than that) and ended up regretting the entire scenario.

I musta been in the bathroom or something. I missed that last night. WTF?

See this

This was glorious.

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

While walking to the stadium last night, in front of some apartment, some guy was just drunk and yelling at every tech fan YEAH KEEP WALKING KEEP WALKING. I stopped in front of him and just looked at him. He said OH YOU ARENT GONNA KEEP WALKING? I looked at him and said I guess not. He started unbuttoning his shirt (cause I guess that's what you do when you are a douchebag and want to fight). Now, for anyone that has met me, I am not a small guy. I also used to be a bouncer, so drunk kids with an ego problem don't frighten me at all. I had a few beers myself, so my restraint was down a bit and decided I would play the game. I took 3 steps towards this guy and he screamed and took off running.

So that's how the game began for me. Me laughing all the way to Lane North. And it ended with me laughing all the way out of Lane North.

If you can't take a little bloody nose, maybe you ought go back home and crawl under your bed. It's not safe out here. It's wondrous! With treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross. But it's not for the timid...

Somebody actually tried to intimidate a guy your size?
That is head shaking.

Somebody the size of The Rock, or Teller. Maybe. .

I would've paid a dollar to see him shit his pants.

Glad to have met you and Highlander. Hope I can catch you guys and a lot more some time next season in lot 18.

"How the ass pocket will be used, I do not know. Alls I know is, the ass pocket will be used."
- The BoD

In response to a UVA grad giving me the whole tired "you only went to Tech because you couldn't get into UVA", I told him I didn't apply to UVA, but I did get an appointment to the Air Force Academy. He proceeded to imply that UVA was harder to get into than a service academy.

This happen to two of my friends from high school, one went to Buckingham County and the other one went to Cumberland County (I came from Cumberland) which are very small public schools with graduating class of 100. Both tried to apply to UVA and was told to apply after December, but told high school students from counties just outside of Richmond area (eastern Goochland, Henrico, Hanover, and Prince George) to apply before December. When my friends why they were lied to they were told that UVA wanted to be more "inclusive", I have a deep hatred to UVA after what happened to them.

"Oi! What's a Horkie"
"I am ya Grot!"

"Horkies were made for two fings foighten' and winnen'" - Horkie Warboss

"That Gritty git doesn't exactly look like a Horkie, but by Gork and Mork it acts like one!"-Random Horkie Boy

I once knew a UVA grad that was so fat...

How fat, you ask? They're so fat that they don't need the internet, because they're already world wide!

I once knew a UVA grad that was so ugly...

How ugly, you say? They were so ugly that when they tried to join an ugly contest they said, "Sorry, no professionals."

I once knew a UVA grad that was so dumb...

How dumb, you inquire? They were so dumb that they actually thought they were going to win yesterday.

A poster already pointed it out, but go back a few pages in the Sabre if you want to see the truth about this bunch. All they have is to call us rednecks with no teeth, pig f*ckers, all that bs. But what we know about them is true, a bunch of entitled, losers and you could go on and on.

Oh and for years they love to call our players "thugs" and they have two personal fouls that basically sealed up the game. And an ejection haha.

I remember that 03 loss very well, it sucked, and the arrogance they displayed until we played them in 04 was ridiculous. They think that their era with Welsh was something great, better than anything we have ever achieved and if they could just get back to where they belong we would never beat them again. UVa is in fact one of the biggest losing programs in college football history. They had their moments under Welsh, but as history as showed, it was more of an exception than the rule. They don't have a school or environment to be successful in football. And no it is not because of academic requirements, they have graduated three 5 star players in the last year. They just don't have people in charge who know what it takes to be good in football with the attitude they have about everything. Its a losing attitude.

EDIT: Had to come back and add this, they still think if they just get this JUCO QB from Arizona, they will then of course be able to leave us in the dust forever. QB play isn't even their problem this year.

We had a lot of youngsters making plays last night, most that didn't even play a lot throughout the year. VT definitely has a brighter future.

A UNC fan stopped to congradualte me on the annual beat down today. Admitted UNC sucked this year, but they are hoping to get their own Mountain Jesus, too!

Sometimes we live no particular way but our own

If I've heard a UVA fan say some variation of "(Insert Virginia Tech coach/coordinator) just goes down to Hampton a recruits a bunch of thugs. UVA is for players with class." once, I've heard them say it a thousand times.

Those classless shits throwing the game away with dumb personal fouls and getting ejected for punching referees made my night. Our boys played with class last night. I was damn proud of how they handled themselves.

Fuck uva. I hate 'em.

I would root for the Russians before I would root for Virginia.

So, uh, I guess this thread is still a thing now.

Waho's suck
Uva swallows

Some things are just timeless, y'know?

Reel men fish on Wednesdays

If they keep posting, I'll keep upvoting.
And I LOVED the Andy Bitter twitter rant. Typical LOLUVA.

"When you're green, you're growing. When you're ripe, you rot." -Ray Kroc

I had no idea Donald Trump was a Hoo fan.

(This joke is entirely apolitical and solely mocks a certain Twitter user's online writing style)

Alright, I've got two from this past weekend, one at the game and one post-game:

Let me preface this by saying I was actually fairly surprised how cordial most of the UVA fans we came in contact with before the game were. Everyone we talked to was fairly even-keeled and respectful. Now, to the game.

1) These two "UVA fans" (in quotes because they weren't wearing any UVA gear, rather they looked like they were going to a cigar bar in Georgetown) show up to our section. They were probably in their early 60's and definitely coordinated what they were going to wear before tailgating at Starbucks by reading Machiavelli. After the first Tech first down, we were belting out the H-O-K-I-E-S HOKIES! chant and they turned around and asked us to stop. Are you kidding me? Fuel to the fire - we just became louder and louder. Conversely, for every UVA first down, this guy would turn around and do this little dance and thrust his hips like a really bad version of the macarena. Also, and here's what really makes no sense to me, they would try to pump up the crowd when Tech had third downs on offense, but didn't make any noise themselves. I noticed a lot of UVA "fans" doing this. How hypocritical is that? Anyway, they were more just annoying and pathetic than douchey, but onto point #2.

2) I put up a facebook post yesterday with some pictures from the game and the fact that we extended the streak 14 years in a row. Well, one of my UVA buddies that I really should've just unfollowed/blocked years ago comments, "And how many national championships has Tech won? Just curious..." Oh boy, of course. So, I reply, "Well Bill, since you took the time out of your day to ask a vague, rhetorical question that has no relevance to my post, I'll take the time out of mine to respond: Virginia Tech has won just as many national championships in football as UVA. A simple Google search would've lead you to this, so asking me on my facebook post probably wasn't the most direct route to get that answer." After that post, I had to put up one of my favorite pics (and props to who made this):

So after I completely shut this Hoo down (I think), he still posts a link to the number of national championships UVA has. Did you even read my post, Bill? Follow the conversation, dude. Wow, just wow. And I thought UVA fans were supposed to be smart. I unfriended Bill, btw.

"What kind of person would throw away a perfectly good dog?"

Watching their team celebrate a first down on TV was incredible and I'm glad to hear it extended into their fans at the game. You would've seriously thought they had won the game the way they were cheering on the sidelines. It was like seeing a kid get a C- on a test when they usually get Ds and Fs. It was adorable but you know it still sucks.

I have no idea why my username is VT_Warthog.

Arkansas blew a 24-0 lead in the Belk Bowl.

Here's an actual video I took of the guys in my section celebrating after UVA picked up a first down:

"What kind of person would throw away a perfectly good dog?"

I don't believe you.

There's no bow ties.

Tfw you're so bad at football that your teams first, first down is a big deal. Only at LOLUVA, the land of Toast and Zima.

"It's a miracle in Blacksburg, TYROD DID IT MIKEY, TYROD DID IT!"

No it was *every* first down

I have no idea why my username is VT_Warthog.

Arkansas blew a 24-0 lead in the Belk Bowl.

definitely coordinated what they were going to wear before tailgating at Starbucks by reading Machiavelli

D. E. D. Dead 😂

That team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.

i work in hooville. every year, after the annual beatdown, i bring in doughnuts for me and the two other Hokies with whom i work. today, i displayed 14 lovely Dunkin' Donuts in the kitchen.

an annual labor of love.

here's to 15 next year, when my son continues the tradition by starting his freshman year in engineering school. 100th meeting of Hokies vs loluva. in The Terror Dome. my son a freshman. oh. baby.

and years ago, in another job, i was getting crap from an loluva alum about how they were going to crush us. well, we won. the next Monday, i brought in doughnuts and returned the smack-talk. he said (i kid you not), "it is sad. you guys think we're you're rivals. but you're not. we don't consider you rivals. all we care about is winning the ACC and competing for NC."

how do you like me now, jimmy-boy! we're *in* the ACC, in your division, and own your ass!

Talked with a few Hoos today at my internship...not a douchebaggery story but still a story that needs to be told.

I worked with a lady who is a Hoo all day. Didn't realize she was one until sometime after lunch. Basically she heard another Hoo talking in the hallway about the game and piped up something to the effect of (in agreement to what he was saying), "We have a much better team than Tech but we decided not to show up Friday night. If we had shown up Friday night we would have beaten them." I just stood there and silently chuckled.

A little bit later we worked with a man who was also a Hoo. He said, and I quote, "I feel like Tech's best years are behind them. There's no way they continue with this success." I didn't get a chance to probe him further about this, but I'm VERY curious to know what kind of logic train he's riding on...She gave this guy the same spill she gave above, to which he agreed. I was able to put in something about Bud's defense shutting them down totally, to which they had no real response.

Really blows my mind that they honestly think LOLUVA had the better team or the better gameplan.

"It's a miracle in Blacksburg, TYROD DID IT MIKEY, TYROD DID IT!"

That is what makes LOLUVA who they are. A sense of superiority based on wanting to be superior rather than actual facts, logic, or effort. Sounds like douchebaggery to me.

Sometimes we live no particular way but our own

That sense of entitlement is rampant in the US right now. It's the same mindset that had people seriously thinking last week that the USMNT would eventually replace Peru in the World Cup because of the offhand possibility the Peruvian govt would screw it up.

"Some days you’re a horse and some days you’re a horse’s ass. I’ve been a horse’s ass for a little while." - Roy Halladay

I have family, friends, and a former colleague that went to UVA. All are decent human beings (sister used to be a bit of a snotty elitist for the first few years, but grew out of that).

Hell, met my friend's brother who went there a couple weeks ago and he was the nicest person at the party.

Its a shame that they have some of these fans that ruin it for the rest of their alumni and fanbase (and we have the same at VT).

Regardless, lets try to beat them in everything (including academics) and never give them a reason to trash our program's integrity (like Penn State, Baylor, Ole Miss, Oregon, USC, Iowa State, Auburn, UNC, Miami, Ohio State, Louisville, Arizona, OKST.......)

With a potential new business partner today...and in the same breath referred to Charlottesville as an epicenter of culture and Blacksburg as a cultural black hole(unless you love beer and football). THEN...within 30 seconds was giddily talking about this great Kenny Chesney show they went to-you can't make this stuff up. For a better total frame of reference they have an undergrad from loluva and vet degree from vpi.

We Are The Virginia Tech Hokies...And We Play Football!

*Adibi's Army
**Chicken Hill Social Club

Sounds to me like it's time to no longer be business partners?

Taylor, looking desperately throws it deep..HAS A MAN OPEN DANNY COALE WITH A CATCH ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE FIVE!!!!....hes still open

Well, to be fair, most of us do, in fact, love beer and football.

Reel men fish on Wednesdays

What are you trying to say about Kenny Chesney?

There is nothing in the world like Thursday night in Blacksburg!

Probably that he's a big f#$%in sellout. And I'll just stop there without sharing any opinions on his music.

Mr. ETSU, turned Mr. Vol, but when Phat Phil got fired and they started sucking, he started wearing Florida gear all the time. What's up with that?

Probably that he's a big f#$%in sellout.

Nailed it. I did go to his concert a couple years ago in Mile High. I'll never go to another one of his concerts or a big name concert there again. I paid way too much to sit a quarter mile away.

This song always gets a leg from me, sir.

The Poster Formerly Known As The Spirit Of Bernard Basham

Thanks for resurrecting this. Made for an entertaining read. Glad we don't lock old threads...

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Well, to be fair, nobody saw this thread pop up and thought, "Holy shit, a Wahoo was a douchebag AGAIN!?!"

The Poster Formerly Known As The Spirit Of Bernard Basham