French on Player Nicknames

Since people have been a bit sour at points today, I want to focus on the positives. We have a talented class, with some gaps to be sure. One thing I like is that Fuente clearly wanted to get guys who were going to generate yards after the catch/initial touch on offense. There are going to be some fun players.

I have this annoying habit of coming up with annoying nicknames for players that nobody else uses. I am working on them, but I am going to call Pimpleton "The Love Bug." When I watch him run, that Disney theme goes through my head. He doesn't looks super impressive, and then just flies buy defenders like they are standing still.

If Debose signs, he will likely inherit the Million Dollar Man gimmick.

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If Debose signs, he will likely inherit the Million Dollar Man gimmick.

I see what you did there, French.

If it sticks, after every sack he gets, I want him to shove a $100 bill in the QB's mouth and scream, "Everybody's got a price!!!".

β€œAlso, a microwave has never danced it's ass off to Jackie Wilson.” - AssPocketFullOWhiskey

That nickname is an old staple here at TKP and started with Corey Marshall. The idea was that every time the Million Dollar Man blows into the backfield for a sack or TFL, I go...

via GIPHY

Five star get after it 100 percent Juice Key-Playing. MAN

I need to TKP harder.

Sidenote: DiBiase's maniacal laugh was so awesome. I loved how it fit into his theme music.

β€œAlso, a microwave has never danced it's ass off to Jackie Wilson.” - AssPocketFullOWhiskey

For the lazy:

2026 Season Challenge: TBD
Previous Challenges: Star Wars (2019), Marvel (2020), Batman (2021), Wrasslin' (2022)

Another Classic:

2026 Season Challenge: TBD
Previous Challenges: Star Wars (2019), Marvel (2020), Batman (2021), Wrasslin' (2022)

Can I nominate one:

Lecitus Smith = Lecitus of Burg

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin

Resistance is FUtile?

I can definitely get behind both of these.

We really need to start using that, "Resistance is FUtile," line, brilliant stuff.

β€œAlso, a microwave has never danced it's ass off to Jackie Wilson.” - AssPocketFullOWhiskey

I like it

This also makes UVa the Ferengi, doesn't it?

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin

No, they need to be this dude from the TNG episode where Picard is captured along with three other aliens. He kept bragging about his people's intelligence, yet they were scared of confrontation and conquered many times.

Oooh... maybe they're the Vulcans.

Emotionless windbags who spend so much time sniffing their own farts they can't be bothered to realize the rest of the galaxy has passed them by. They consider the humans (VT) to be utterly inferior, only to reside in the shadow of the Terran Empire under the Federation's umbrella. Plus, their food sucks.

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin

Proctor at Law

Each time he makes a tackle....

via GIPHY

"Welcome to the Terror Dome." -- Corey Moore

But how is he going to be missing those tackles when Law....

nevermind

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin

Maybe we should transfer this discussion elsewhere.

2026 Season Challenge: TBD
Previous Challenges: Star Wars (2019), Marvel (2020), Batman (2021), Wrasslin' (2022)

Proctor and Garbutt Attorneys at Law

"We bring the pain, for your gain"

"Welcome to the Terror Dome." -- Corey Moore

you won

"We bring the pain, for your gain"

to stop your gain

I prefer Proctor, Garbutt, and Crandall

Here lies It's a Stroman Jersey I Swear, surpassed in life by no one because he intercepted it.

This guy scares the shit out of me....lol

I'll take the easy one....

Hooker.

Done.

What about Julia Roberts? /s

Amateur superstar and idiot extraordinaire.

How about Sean "savvy" Savoy

We got to figure out one for Drake Deluliis........ive been trying to figure out how to say his name for months

I'm good with Double D. Anymore than it's a waste.

"Welcome to the Terror Dome." -- Corey Moore

True Statement...

(Maroon and) Orange Deluliis?

β€œYou got one guy going boom, one guy going whack, and one guy not getting in the endzone.”
― John Madden (describing VT's offense?)

It's pronounced "Kevin".

We put the K in Kwality

Drake Delirious Deluliis

VHokie

An anagram of Devon Hunter is Thunder Oven. Kalil Pimpleton is Ankle Limp Pilot, maybe foreshadowing all those defenders' ankles he will be breaking. Drake Deiuliis is Ideal Kids Rule, or Arise Dude Kill. Dylan Rivers is Randy Silver, or actually Rivalry Ends. Maybe he harasses UVA QBs so much that they actually shut down their football program.

Dylan Rivers = Randy Silver... This has to become a thing.

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin

Still not as cool as Duke Silver.

Obligatory

β€œYou got one guy going boom, one guy going whack, and one guy not getting in the endzone.”
― John Madden (describing VT's offense?)

I also enjoy this one

"That move was slicker than a peeled onion in a bowl of snot." -Mike Burnop

Yes, but, we're talking VT football here, not loluva. Need something more badass.

β€œYou got one guy going boom, one guy going whack, and one guy not getting in the endzone.”
― John Madden (describing VT's offense?)

I know this thread is mainly about new players but I thought this relevant: I work with Travon McMillian's cousin and told him about the nickname "Dragon" today. I made him promise to tell Travon about it!