Hatin On: Paul Johnson

Miami week is over; time to turn our focus on the next team, which will be the beginning of two straight weeks of 'hatin on' glory

Let him have it.

DISCLAIMER: Forum topics may not have been written or edited by The Key Play staff.

Comments

Fuck Paul Johnson. Fuck Georgia Faux Tech. Foster needs to go up and punch him in the face.

When Paul Johnson was born, the doctor slapped him in the face to make him cry. His mother, aghast, said "aren't you supposed to slap the baby's behind, not his face?" The doctor replied, "THAT'S HIS FACE???"

"Exit light..."

Paul Johnson was only born because he was trying to dive for his Mom's knees.

Here lies It's a Stroman Jersey I Swear, surpassed in life by no one because he intercepted it.

When Paul Johnson was born, they slapped his mama.

“You got one guy going boom, one guy going whack, and one guy not getting in the endzone.”
― John Madden (describing VT's offense?)

A good place to funnel frustration. Let's chop block this thread.

This is going to be great for the ACC.

I present to you.... Paul Johnson

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin

HOLY DOGSHIT, WTF!?!?!? Too fucking early, Alum07. Gah dang!

Its a Ballchinian!!!

Warning- Filter lost.

"Look at this... This is just spectacular.... These people are losing their minds"

Shit, didn't realize the size of that image, being on mobile... Thanks, VTGM

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin

I gotchu fam.

"Exit light..."

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin

Baul Johnson.

Paul Johnson lost to a guy named Bronco.

Not only that, Bronco was coaching at UVa at the time.

Never let your team lose to UVa.

Paul Johnson eats corn on the cob vertically.

The Orange and Maroon you see, that's fighting on to victory.

Wanna see Mook out there like this.

Wet stuff on the red stuff.

Join us in the Key Players Club

And Stro.

Paul johnson once asked if ESPN could rig their game!

"Take care of the little things and the big things will come."

Pj stinks cause he just pooped in his pants

Hokies, Local Soccer, AFC Ajax, Ravens

Fire Whit.

Hey, I make that face when I'm being escorted by two cops too!

I thought SOP when being escorted by cops was to backhand one of them in the head?
Video

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Paul Johnson robbed VT of the opportunity to deny UVa a bowl this year.

This is a grossly underlegged comment.

If you play it, they will win.

"How the ass pocket will be used, I do not know. Alls I know is, the ass pocket will be used." -The BoD

Paul Johnson takes credit for GT's historic victory over Cumberland.

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

Paul Johnson uses the same playbook from that historic 1919 win.

This is going to be great for the ACC.

Paul Johnson will line up to go for it on 4th down just to see if you'll jump offsides even though everyone knows what he is trying to do.

OTOH, Paul Johnson will actually try to go for it on 4th down deep in his own territory (& I hope he does so again this Saturday).

I want to punch him in the face

Never Forget #1 Overall Seed UVA 54, #64 UMBC 74

Couldn't make it any worse.

I love a good nap. Sometimes that's all that's getting me out of bed in the morning.

Paul Johnson thinks that Stranger Things is super lame.

Using /s is for cowards.

Wait, thought this was hatin on?

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin

Now finish up them taters; I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.

Paul Johnson is my girlfriend.

Image result for not that there's anything wrong with that gif

"We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior" Stephen M.R. Covey

“When life knocks you down plan to land on your back, because if you can look up, you can get up, if you fall flat on your face it can kill your spirit” David Wilson

Paul Johnson would chop block your grandmother if it meant being first in line in the Express Lane at the grocery store.

Oh, and he'd have a cart full of groceries clearly over the 15 item limit.

"GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM LITTLE BROTHER, THE CUP IS COMIN’ ON HOME!”

And he pays with a check that he doesn't start to fill out until everything's rung up.

A decade on TKP and it's been time well spent.

And starts arguing with the cashier over .15 cents.

"That kid you're talking to right there, I think he played his nuts off! And you can quote me on that shit!" -Bud Foster

... and then wants to call over the manager to argue about why they won't double an expired competitor's coupon.

Sometimes we live no particular way but our own

...and proceeds to yell profanities at the manager, knock over displays and threaten to spend his money elsewhere.

Meanwhile, his purchase total is $3.87.

He also video blogs the entire encounter.

A decade on TKP and it's been time well spent.

Paul Johnson unleashed the fart that Bronco is always smelling.

Never crimp your blasting caps with your teeth. - Dr Haycocks

Its always 110 Holden...said every mining engineer ever.

When I saw the comment this was attached to I immediately thought of that speech. Good pull friend

Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies

Paul Johnston hates pie and cake, slows him down running the triple option

Keep calm, Gobble on

That looked surprisingly like Miami's O line play on Saturday...

Paul Johnson stands uncomfortably close to you when you're the only other person waiting in line.

Dude sucks.

Paul Johnson teaches cut blocks.

This is going to be great for the ACC.

Paul Johnson is like the hitch on the back of your truck you forgot existed until it destroys your shin. #chopblock

Is coronavirus over yet?

What would you call the offspring of Spock and the "wat" lady?........

In Bud we Trust

Wack.

This is going to be great for the ACC.

As I scrolled through quickly I was sure that read Noshot. Which is exactly what they have of scoring a passing TD.

Paul Johnson lets his drunk brother on his computer after an upsetting loss to Miami

"Nooooooooooo!"
~What happened?
"James Franklin to Virginia Tech...."
~Fuck me......*sigh*
"Oh my God.... They're gonna take all our recruits... like WTF bro...."
~*squints eyes in disbelief*

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

You think your middle school yearbook picture was bad? Here's Paul Johnson's:

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Middle Schools don't shuttle plays in with running backs, but Paul Johnson still does.

Paul Johnson thinks a hotdog from the Varsity qualifies as good barbeque.
Paul Johnson hates the onion volcano at hibachi restaurants.
Paul Johnson considers Pat Narduzzi a good friend.

Golf clap...those are awesome!

Username checks out.

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

F Pat Narduzzi

Never crimp your blasting caps with your teeth. - Dr Haycocks

Its always 110 Holden...said every mining engineer ever.

Paul Johnson thinks he's as beloved as Frank Beamer and David Cutcliffe

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

Paul Johnson thinks the NCAA was too hard on UNC.

Paul Johnson brings his mouth to the banana...

If you don't want to recruit clowns, don't run a clown show.

"I want to punch people from UVA right in the neck." - Colin Cowherd

Paul Johnson is Paul Johnson

Paul Johnson teaches his players the dropkick in case his dream of going back to the old round football comes true.

I also heard he holds another dream of going to FSU as head coach so he can take the Tomahawk Chop Block with him.

"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. " Rocky B.

Paul Johnson has a perpetual case of the vapors. He once passed gas in a recruit's house and blamed it on the dog. True or not, I wouldn't put it past him.

"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. " Rocky B.

Paul Johnson thinks you should keep your avatar the way it is and totally not change it to something less offensive.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Not to start a war or anything, but are you going to accuse me of being a troll again? This is a rag on Paul Johnson thread.

"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. " Rocky B.

are you aware that your avatar is this?

it's a joke about the new logo sucking (in my opinion).

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

It does kind of suck, but I really don't care, nor do I care about your opinion. Paul Johnson sucks more.

"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. " Rocky B.

FWIW I think your comment is hilarious and actually thought about posting something similar as soon as I saw it....

something something....great minds.....

If you don't want to recruit clowns, don't run a clown show.

"I want to punch people from UVA right in the neck." - Colin Cowherd

Something about his look says, "I have hemorrhoids"

In Bud we trust

Everytime Paul Johnson gets punched in the face an angel gets it's wings

Paul Johnson thinks Chic-fil-a Sauce is overrated.

1-0 every week

Paul Johnson thinks ZAXBY sauce is overrated

Here we go with this shit again.

Paul Johnson's only sauce is Catsup. It worked fine when he played the triple option. Still works fine now that he's learning to coach it. No reason to try anything new.

Sometimes we live no particular way but our own

Zax sauce tastes like vinegar and shoe soles and you're a terrible person if you think otherwise

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

Paul Johnson the type of guy to chop block Frank Beamer as he's walking around town with Hank

Warning- Filter lost.

"Look at this... This is just spectacular.... These people are losing their minds"

Paul Johnson lets his brown and yellow mellow.

"What are you going to do, stab me? - Quote from Man Stabbed

but only when he's using someone else's bathroom.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Paul Johnson takes a penny, but never leaves one. "It's technically legal!"

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

He grabs em from the jar for summer camp for blind kids and acts like he didn't notice.

"That kid you're talking to right there, I think he played his nuts off! And you can quote me on that shit!" -Bud Foster

Paul Johnson wont let you use his grocery store rewards card when you forget yours and he's standing behind you in the check out line.

Using /s is for cowards.

Paul Johnson said he's glad that Russell Athletics is their sponsor

They ask you how you are and you just have to say that you're fine when you're not really fine.

Paul Johnson managed to lose to Tennessee this year, a team that is 0-5 in conference play and whose other wins have come against Indiana State, UMass, and Southern Miss.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

The Ramblin' Wreck is the name of GT's mascot car, and a description of Paul Johnson.

Paul Johnson lists "Invented Big Johnson t-shirts" on his resume.

Paul Johnson wears Big Baller Brand because he thinks that Lavar Ball is so likable.

"We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior" Stephen M.R. Covey

“When life knocks you down plan to land on your back, because if you can look up, you can get up, if you fall flat on your face it can kill your spirit” David Wilson

Paul Johnson wipes his ass standing up

Paul Johnson wipes back to front

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin

Paul Johnson doesn't send a courtesy email to let the rest of the floor know that he changed the paper size in the plotter.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Paul Johnson takes the seat off and sits on the post of his tricycle to optimize aerodynamics for his Mini 500 Race.

"Nooooooooooo!"
~What happened?
"James Franklin to Virginia Tech...."
~Fuck me......*sigh*
"Oh my God.... They're gonna take all our recruits... like WTF bro...."
~*squints eyes in disbelief*

Paul Johnson loves the idea of the turnover chain so much that he's instituting his own version at GT. Every time a defender gets carted off the field with a knee injury, the GT blocker gets the golden knee brace as a reward.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Paul Johnson double parks a Camaro.

"What kind of person would throw away a perfectly good dog?"

Paul Johnson would attend a Mustang car show and stand near the exit burnout show.

"What are you going to do, stab me? - Quote from Man Stabbed

Paul Johnson parks in the back of the parking lot at the grocery store, and walks down the center of the parking aisle holding up other cars that need to park or exit.

Paul Johnson walks into crowded elevators and hits 6 buttons before he finally presses the right floor. Then he farts right after the door closes. As he leaves, he turns around and takes you out at the knees.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Paul Johnson goes to the beach and eats at Red Lobster.

"What kind of person would throw away a perfectly good dog?"

Paul Johnson wears a thong speedo at the beach because he thinks he has great legs.

"I'm too drunk to taste this chicken" - Colonel Sanders via Ricky Bobby

Shouldn't he need two speedos? The second to cover the balls on his face?

Anyone else think this was modeled after PJ?

"Gee, Paul, what do you want to do tonight?"

"The same thing we do every night, Dabo - try to take over the world!"

Using /s is for cowards.

Dabo rocks that Letterman jacket like a pimply faced teenager rocks a tuxedo.

"What kind of person would throw away a perfectly good dog?"

Paul Johnson tells people with Celiac that they are just stupid trendy hipsters when they ask about Gluten Free options.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Paul Johnson claims to be allergic to gluten free.

Sometimes we live no particular way but our own