https://247sports.com/college/virginia/Bolt/Virginia-Cavaliers-Football-...
We've had some glimpses of Bronco's coaching methodologies. The next level is making Lane Stadium North feel more like home. Practicing and taking over the visitor's locker room was not enough, something was missing. Solution: TOAST!
So funny. Have at it TKP.
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Comments
First off...
Though now I would like to know what TKPers prefer to put on their toast.
I take jelly, preferably apple.
Apple butter and happy to tell you about it.
Toast Topping Power Rankings:
1)Apple Butter
1b)Various Nut Butters (phrasing intentional)
2)Regular Butter
3)Various Jellies, Jams, and Preserves
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.
.
.
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Last Place: Orange Marmalade
Throw Pumpkin Butter in at #2 and keep the order the same and I will agree.
Have not had this, sounds great, but I also failed to include Peanut Butter between Apple Butter and Regular Butter
FTFY
I have been waiting for someone to bring Nutella into this, just so I can shoot dirty looks in their general direction. So far I am proud of everyone.
So very very good. Was sent this on my last deployment and I'd make toast for a snack/dessert in the wardroom with the stuff.

Thank you very much for your service.
Nutella really isn't nearly as good as everyone says. It's way too sugary in my opinion
I agree. It is way too sweet.
I agree, and I generally don't like sugar, but that stuff is amazingly addictive.
wrong
1. regular butter
2. raspberry jam
3. peanut butter
4. all other nut butters
https://shop.bigspoonroasters.com/collections/nut-butters
Their Almond Cocoa is top notch although its like $13 a jar
Apple butter is cool, except that it tends to remind me of applesauce and then things get weird...
You are eating the wrong applebutter. See me for the correct stuff.
I'm penciling in a future appointment to Lot 18.
My grandma (RIP) used to make the best apple butter ever. Period. She used to make about 75-100 mason jars worth each year for Christmas. Man that stuff is gold. If you disagree:
Not jelly of your apple trash. Strawberry is the jam.
Apple > Grape > Strawberry IMO. Don't @ me, bro!
Regular butter and fox grape jelly...it'll make your day.
Dry.
Elwood!
Bring me four fried chickens and a Coke.
Bacon, lettuce, tomato, and mayo.
Let's add a third slice and ham for a Club!
Toast. Peanut butter (crunchy of course). Bacon. End of story.
Just an over easy egg on it for breakfast. A few sandwiches are good, but all require bacon. Egg cheese and bacon, BLT, club, peanut butter (crunchy) banana and bacon. If they give it to me at as a side at a diner I go for apple butter first, blackberry jelly second, and strawberry as a third choice, but given a choice its biscuits instead of toast as side every time, and I AM buying the side of gravy.
My eldest saw something on TV where baked beans on toast is a traditional English breakfast, and he makes it some, but I tried it and don't get it. My dad likes shit on a shingle, but he went to grad school at LOLUVA, which may explain it.
I always thought they were toast.
Somehow it just feels right.
Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.
The toast topping debate could be cake vs pie 2.0.
3.0, that is.
Moe's vs. Chipotle is comfortably 2.0.
I mean it's not really a debate, Moe's won.
Well, of course.
But you know how you still have to play out the clock even when the game is well in hand?
Guess I forgot about that one. No Moe's or Chipotle around here. 3.0 it is based on the thread so far. Wow.
Team Peanut Butter!
Wholeheartedly agree with this!
I agree as well. Now the question begs, crunchy or smooth? #teamcrunchy
There is no question. Crunchy or GTFO.
I like mine topped with a little mayonnaise, a fried egg, a slice of sharp cheddar, sausage patties, another fried egg, and another piece of toast with a little mayonnaise.
Dad? Is that you?
I was set to give you a leg until mayonnaise....
Easy enough. Butter and strawberry jam.
Is this because their season is usually toast by Week 6 or because playing there make you want to drop a toaster in your ice bath?
This is why people make fun of these brie cheese eating, Zima drinking, chess playing virgins.
You forgot "ascot wearing"
I knew I left something out. Leg for you.
UVa pregame pep talk:
My. Heywood Banks has too much pride as a professional comedian to perform for a crowd of amateur clowns like UVA.
They couldnt make this any easier on us. They are r[t]oasting themselves.
via GIPHY
.... only UVA football would come with something like that
Butter and cinnamon. End of.
Because really what we remembered is that people don't come to play us in our indoor facility.
...although the noise level and fan attendance at Scott may give off that impression.
If you don't, you should, know a guy whose family makes bomb diggity apple butter, and get some. Then spread that on some warm toast. That my friends, is sex.
I have been doing things wrong for a long time.
I thought Apple Pie was sex.
Those Bronco quotes are actually some of the dumbest sounding things I've ever heard come out of a college football coach's mouth. I'm absolutely dying
Oh for fucks sake...won't they just stop lobbing pitches to us?
Several thoughts.
It's just like TKP to turn the low hanging UVA fruit, which could easily give us hours of entertainment, and turn it into another food debate or two (toast toppings? Crunchy vs creamy peanut butter?) Well done guys!
Seriously, they aren't comfortable playing football in their own stadium? That was a thing they needed to address?
Toast? Fucking toast? As if ascot wearing and Zima drinking weren't enough. We're over eating gargantuan turkey legs and chugging bourbon. They're eating toast.
I hate those bastards...and making fun of them never gets old.
This reminds me of the JMU GameDay thread where we didn't discuss JMU GameDay.
Yeah. So.
Y'all can down vote me, but I'm about to speak the dam truth: anything that can be toasted is actually better microwaved. Toasters are stupid.
You are stupid.
Bread + microwave = soggy, chewy mess
Edit: I apologize for the insult. That was a reflex. But your wrong opinion is wrong.
Heck yeah it does, and it's a million times better than putting cinnamon on a giant crouton. If I ever buy a toaster, I hope I'm surrounded by people who love me enough to throw it in the tub while I'm taking a bath. Crunchy bread is stupid.
I think you may the first person in the world that has ever been offended by the toaster.
It is a wicked and detestable appliance. You are dead right about apple butter though.
Hahaha I mean I am not criticizing your hate for it, I just found it interesting.
There is no brave little microwave, and that is a scientific fact.
Slow your roll, APoW. Microwaves by nature are brave; there's no outlier worthy of recognition like that one toaster.
Our first Radarange was a damn warrior. It had to deal with every compound feasible in my first chemistry kit, and most of the chemicals beneath the sink to boot.
You try sticking metal and science experiments in a toaster and the damn thing shorts out after the first day.
Except for that one fictional toaster. I am not buying that logic.
It's not the microwave that's brave.
It's the people who put things in it. And then eat those things.
The microwave's biggest job is ruining otherwise edible food. The second job is destroying other random objects that people are brave enough to subject to microwaves.
They do manage to heat coffee and defrost things, though.
Also, a microwave has never danced it's ass off to Jackie Wilson.
Definitely my new favorite comment on the entire site.
I think Starbuck and Adama might be the first - but then again there in the future, so I'll give it you.
You sir, have a desperate need for a crunchy bread-bowl full of chunky delicious chili.
We already solved this. It's called a toaster oven.
Edit: we also solved the problem for whoever downvoted. It's called just scroll right on past. ;)
For the record, I down voted your posts about crunchy toast being bad, and I up voted the one about apple butter being good.
I know that down voting opinions is wrong, but I'm prepared to take the heat for disagreeing that soggy bread is ok.
Fuck that shit...yes, I'm wasted.
Soft bread != soggy bread. To be fair, I do not typically microwave sandwich bread. But take a good hardy dense bread; for instance, bagels. If you really mean to tell me, man-to-man, that toasted bagels are better than microwaved bagels... well, let's just say it's good thing this is the internet, pal.
I can take the down votes as well as I can dish 'em, so if you want to start a friday night flame war about the depravity of toasted bread, then by all means, go home and put on your daddy's shoes because you're playing a man's game now. This subject cuts pretty close to religion and politics for me, and I'll get banned for it, I don't give a f***.
Yall dont downvote a man for liking something. I dont agree with it but to each their own.
I may have called him stupid, but I didn't downvote him.
I'm not a monster.
Sorry man. I was really drunk. I went back and gave you legs on the stupid posts you made about microwaves and bread. I even legged this post out of #Hokiesrespect.
But you are wrong man. Dead wrong. Ain't nothing good about a crunchless bagel. I have to say that I put that up there with Zima and rice cakes as acceptable culinary selections. I don't know what happened to you as a child but if I were you, I'd be seriously questioning my upbringing if a microwaved bagel borders on the spiritual experience.
In a pinch, I'll reheat my grandmother's homemade rolls just enough to melt some butter, but nothing compares to the taste of her bread sliced, toasted, and smothered with butter and her homemade peach preserves. I'll go to my grave knowing few tastes better than that.
The temptation is very strong to downvote just to see how far down this rabbit hole our coupon crusader will go.
That butter is not enjoying that.
Something, something....... Hollywood.......
Something, something......Board monitor "dont go there....."
Yeah, baked products going public in 3, 2, 1 ...
No one mentioned avocado toast?
If I could afford avocados....
No one here goes to UVA.
It just hit me! It's loluva:
](https://postimg.org/image/qdkbtzscr/))
UVA was already sh*t, now they have the shingle to put it on.
So long as it is precariously positioned next to their bathtub, I'm ok with it.
So uva be thinkin:
https://giphy.com/gifs/ren-and-stimpy-toast-x12tJqLPA0nkI
Ummm.......NO
UVA is not worthy of Powdered Toast Man.
This TKP thread is going down in history as a great one
👌💪☝️🔥
TKP debate No. 4
Best posts/comment threads of all time
OMG yes
Joe, do we have any data on this, like the thread with the highest-number-of-legs-per-post?
Can we have Comment Big Board like the Turkey Leg Big Board? My guess would be that it would have a lot of Kyle Fuller and Emma Watson gifs.
Posts are like a conversation.
A big part of the value of posts are the context and timing.
Very true. Otherwise the top comments would all be from FAM threads
Get your own damn tradition UVA:
"Drink a highball and be jolly. Here's a toast to dear old Penn!"
UVA Sports Complex Burns Due to Defective Toaster
I think he does it at away games.
So it would be someone else's sports complex.
I like how LOLUVA has embraced Disney's The Brave Little Toaster.