HATIN' ON: David Cutcliffe (2018 Edition)

Well fam, it's time to get our minds and bodies ready for the battle with Duke on Saturday. Yes, Cutcliffe is respectable...but this is the Hatin' On series.

Bring it!

DISCLAIMER: Forum topics may not have been written or edited by The Key Play staff.

Comments

Coach Cut watched the ODU film and smiled. Then got serious because Coach Cut doesn't take pride in other peoples failures.
Then hand wrote an encouragement note to Fuente.

Tweedy can run like a dadgum antelope or whatever. I like to use scalded dog. Do antelopes lumber? Cheetah, OK. He runs like a cheetah. He's fast. - Bud Foster

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin

Dave double dips while in a buffet line. Then leans over to you and says "you didn't see a thing."

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

David Cutcliffe took my mom out for a nice steak dinner and had her home before curfew. He then called the next day to thank her and my grandpa for letting him take her out.

If you play it, they will win.

"How the ass pocket will be used, I do not know. Alls I know is, the ass pocket will be used." -The BoD

David Cutcliffe leaves 2 car lengths in front of him on the beltway and let's everyone merge in as long as they use their turn signal.

"What are you going to do, stab me? - Quote from Man Stabbed

David Cutcliffe spoils his grandchildren...

...with wonderful stories about the inner workings of college athletics.

David Cutcliffe wants to limit me to using this GIF only 3x a day

I love a good nap. Sometimes that's all that's getting me out of bed in the morning.

"What are you going to do, stab me? - Quote from Man Stabbed

I just came from the other thread, this is perfect.

Now finish up them taters; I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.

David Cutcliffe posted a " let's stay supportive" comment on THE OTHER THREAD.

I never root for injuries. However, this gif makes me desire to hear the snapping and ripping of Jakub Voracek's antiprotons cruciate ligament.

Five star get after it 100 percent Juice Key-Playing. MAN

antiprotons?

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

Yes. In the knee you have three main ligaments. The anti-proton cruciate ligament, the medial-proton cruciate ligament, and the pro-proton cruciate ligament. They are anti, medial, or pro based on whether they control forward, sideways, or backwards movement, ie. they move you in a positive, sideways, or negative direction.

"Nope, launch him into the sun and fart on him on the way up"
-gobble gobble chumps

"11-0, bro"
-Hunter Carpenter (probably)

David Cutcliffe All of TKP not named VTAlum wants to limit me to using this GIF only 3x once a day month

FTFY.

"Yes I am going to have favorites. My favorites are high production and low maintenance players, coaches, and staff." - JMFF

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin

I am all aboard on the Gritty Gif hype train, even though I can't stand the Flyers.

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

Can I use this one?

I love a good nap. Sometimes that's all that's getting me out of bed in the morning.

Keep this gif going I want to see it everywhere there will be a leg for everytime I see Gritty.

"Oi! What's a Horkie"
"I am ya Grot!"

"Horkies were made for two fings foighten' and winnen'" - Horkie Warboss

"That Gritty git doesn't exactly look like a Horkie, but by Gork and Mork it acts like one!"-Random Horkie Boy

I may get thrown in the banishing cabinet if I am not too careful

I love a good nap. Sometimes that's all that's getting me out of bed in the morning.

Let's Go

HOKIES

Why is that kid throwing a football at that cloud's farting butthole?

"Nope, launch him into the sun and fart on him on the way up"
-gobble gobble chumps

"11-0, bro"
-Hunter Carpenter (probably)

I didn't participate last week and we lost.

David Cutcliffe only has sugar free ice cream when you come over for a party.

Well, I participated last week and we lost. I never participate in these things anymore, and I never will again.

David Cutcliffe once raised his voice to another human being years and year ago after being unfairly disrespected.

"What kind of person would throw away a perfectly good dog?"

David Cutcliffe makes me actually want a Duke athletic program to be successful.

He isn't that pleasant.

Five star get after it 100 percent Juice Key-Playing. MAN

David Cutcliffe eats sugar free Werther's

The Orange and Maroon you see, that's fighting on to victory.

You leave Werther's out of this!!!

"What kind of person would throw away a perfectly good dog?"

The only thing I can hate on the guy about is that he is a colleague of

Is coronavirus over yet?

Fuck Mike Krywzkzkzzkwkwkwiiwkzkwkskwwkyzzzz

Let's Go

HOKIES

David Cutcliffe will respect you

...and will upvote you anyway

Let's Go

HOKIES

If you respect someone enough, you downvote them.

"What kind of person would throw away a perfectly good dog?"

Is that what happened to DC? ;^)

"Yes I am going to have favorites. My favorites are high production and low maintenance players, coaches, and staff." - JMFF

If they come back anyway, you know it was meant to be.

David Cutcliffe only plays as Toad in Mario Kart... and never uses items.

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

Toad in Mario Kart

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin

Presidential penis baby

David Cutcliffe just earned Eagle Scout

uva - the taint of the ACC
Callused perineum is a symptom of being a uva fan

David Cutcliffe thinks Miracle Whip is better than Duke's Mayonnaise.

David Cutcliffes real parents were Ward and June Cleaver.

uva - the taint of the ACC
Callused perineum is a symptom of being a uva fan

David Cutcliffe never selects OddJob or the Moonraker laser.

Five star get after it 100 percent Juice Key-Playing. MAN

Can't tell if you're hatin' or lovin' on the guy...

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

Select Moonraker Elite (female type) to counter any Oddjob users.

"Yes I am going to have favorites. My favorites are high production and low maintenance players, coaches, and staff." - JMFF

Can't tell if you are too old or too young for this reference. But I weep for you anyway

Now finish up them taters; I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.

LBT right meow

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin

Coach Cutcliffe encourages us to make a hatin on thread for him even though he thinks we are better than that

Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies

David Cutcliffe has a workshop in his basement where he constructs ships in bottles. He gives them as gifts. He has special cards that read:

Hope. Dream. Sail into your future.

David Cutcliffe says "pardon me" when he queefs.

uva - the taint of the ACC
Callused perineum is a symptom of being a uva fan

Excuse me?

The Orange and Maroon you see, that's fighting on to victory.

DAVID CUTCLIFFE SAYS "PARDON ME" WHEN HE QUEEFS.

In fortnite, David Cutcliffe will build a box around you when you are downed and leave you with meds and shields instead of eliminating you.

Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies

You should take notes.

Wet stuff on the red stuff.

Join us in the Key Players Club

Sure I'll start jotting down notes next time you go AFK in the middle of a match

Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies

You play PS4 or XBOX?

As of today, that doesn't matter anymore. Sony is now allowing Crossplay, starting with Fortnite

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin


I heard this earlier, but THIS is the type of hard hitting news I need more of

They finally caved. And fortnite made it possible. All Hail Kevin!

Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies

David Cutcliffe watches Night Court during the day

uva - the taint of the ACC
Callused perineum is a symptom of being a uva fan

and now that song is in my head.

Going to have to go find the ringtone i made years ago and put it back on my phone.

I do art stuff.

David Cutcliffe is a wonderful man and an example of what a coach should be. He is also the coach we face after one of the most humiliating, gut-wrenching losses VT has ever endured. And so I feel sympathy for what David Cutcliffe is about to suffer.

"I liked you guys a lot better when everybody told you you were terrible." -Justin Fuente

Cutcliffe jams to Bryan Adams to get hyped up

uva - the taint of the ACC
Callused perineum is a symptom of being a uva fan

When it comes to David Cutcliffe, everything he does, he does it for you

David Cutcliffe spelled backward is Frank Beamer!

"Take care of the little things and the big things will come."

David Cutcliffe orders a bourbon and Pepsi.

What a legend

Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies

What a hipster.

"What kind of person would throw away a perfectly good dog?"

David Cutcliffe once walked into the wrong locker room and gave the Virginia Tech Hokies a pump up speech to raise their morale after a bad loss to ODU causing them to run the table and win the ACC.

Chick Patty w/ Cheese

David Cutcliffe said our orange jerseys looked handsome last week.

David Cutcliffe said "Oscar dang Bradburn put in a sub par effort ".

David Cutcliffe doesn't ask "what is a Hokie."

I criticize knowing full well I could never do what these athletes do.

This is far and away my favorite Hatin' On thread every year because nobody hates David Cutcliffe.

David Cutcliffe wants to know if you're working hard or hardly working?

David Cutcliffe thinks we might have a case of the Mondays, but still wants us to Hang In There!

David Cutcliffe thinks that Ryan Willis is deceptively fast

And a real gym rat.

David Cutcliffe thinks that Justin Fuente was getting his JMU moment out of the way early on.

David Cutcliffe thinks that Trevon Hill has a good heart, but lost his way. David Cutcliffe hopes that Trevon can turn it around and appreciate all that God has given him.

David Cutcliffe responded to a reesejenks520 comment.

David Cutcliffe upvoted dcwilson

Chick Patty w/ Cheese

David Cutcliffe thought dc was just frustrated

David Cutcliffe thinks it was good that dcwilson and Trevon Hill didn't keep their emotions all bottled up inside

David Cutcliffe is willing to donate to the Hokie Club even if ECU is still on the schedule.

Apparently David Cutcliffe once shared an apartment in the Susan B. Anthony Hotel with HorseOnATreadmill.

via GIPHY

JP

David Cutcliffe isn't worried about his username being taken by someone else on reddit.

Damn, talking about blowing your load...

David Cutcliffe out of his will

uva - the taint of the ACC
Callused perineum is a symptom of being a uva fan

David Cutcliffes into the side of the Grand Canyon with nothing but his outstanding goodwill towards hunanity's affinity for nature.

Chick Patty w/ Cheese

David Cutcliffe from the team

uva - the taint of the ACC
Callused perineum is a symptom of being a uva fan

David Cutcliffe grew up playing cops and lawyers instead of cops and robbers.

Chick Patty w/ Cheese

David Cutcliffe and I don't care
David Cutcliffe and I don't care
David Cutcliffe and I don't care the dookies gone awayyyyy

PS: sorry, Evan Williams came for a visit tonight

uva - the taint of the ACC
Callused perineum is a symptom of being a uva fan

Just finished some 1792! Switched it up back to my favorite, sailor Jerry

Chick Patty w/ Cheese

1792 is pretty good too.
Wild Turkey Rare Breed
WT 101
Evan Williams white label
Russells Reserve
Jameson
1792
Knob Creek
My faves in that order

uva - the taint of the ACC
Callused perineum is a symptom of being a uva fan

David Cutcliffe suggested that Dook make a halftime video with a RoyalFamilyMemberOnATreadmill
Oh heck I just remembered we've lost to the Dukes and the Monarchs so when we play Dook it isn't looking good for us.

David Cutcliffe was once celebrated for his good looks while dating Selena Gomez

Chick Patty w/ Cheese

David Cutcliffe likes that Paul Johnson and pat Narduzzi coach in the ACC...because it means he can occasionally loose his cool and no one notices. But really, he thinks those guys are douche canoes just like the rest of us.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

David Cutliffe is one shady recruiter

... and I'm not so sure his motivational techniques are sound, either.

David Cutcliffe invites you to his cookout but since he has high sodium levels, he only has unsalted ketchup and potato chips. He asks you how you'd like your steak cooked and no matter your answer, they are all Well Done.

A decade on TKP and it's been time well spent.

He asks you how you'd like your steak cooked and no matter your answer, they are all Well Done.

"Yes I am going to have favorites. My favorites are high production and low maintenance players, coaches, and staff." - JMFF

David Cutcliffe thinks Uncle Rico would've won state and would be living in a mansion with his soulmate.

HokieObsession

David Cutcliffe enjoys reading his own hatin on thread and says it's all in the spirit of good, honest competition.

Using /s is for cowards.

Ha! I was thinking about posting something like this but couldn't find the words. You nailed it.

David Cutcliffe donates rice to Uncle Ben's with great responsibility.

Chick Patty w/ Cheese

David Cutcliffe orders a super sized meal from McDonald's and orders a diet Coke to cut down on calories

But then he decides to mix it half regular coke and half diet since he's trying to watch his weight. He orders a 6 piece chicken McNugget then asks if they can trow 2 of them away. He also gets a filet o' fish sandwich cause it has less calories... cause its fish. And cherries jubilee and that's it.

David Cutcliffe reads bedtime stories to his grandkids every night.= but forgot one time.

That's about as mean as I can be to him

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

David Cutcliffe returns other people's shopping carts

1-0 every week

David Cutcliffe things that playing in an 8-some is way quicker than playing in two 4-somes.

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

David Cutcliffe is the coach of Duke football

Coach Cut is a pretty good dude and a solid coach. I hate his team though.

Coach Cutcliffe is very impressed by your ability to pickup the entire gallon of milk with one hand.

You mean...THIS GALLON OF MILK RIGHT HERE!?

Ohhhhh Nicholas!!!

"What are you going to do, stab me? - Quote from Man Stabbed

David Cutcliffe waits to throw the Red Shell until it will hit an AI instead of you. In fact, if he's in 2nd behind you, he drops back to third to do just that

"The Big Ten is always using excuses to cancel games with us. First Wisconsin. Then Wisconsin. After that, Wisconsin. The subsequent cancellation with Wisconsin comes to mind too. Now Penn State. What's next? Wisconsin?" -HorseOnATreadmill

Coach Cutcliffe will wait until after you have fallen off the edge to use the lightning

Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies

When the waitress hands David Cutcliffe the bill he says "What's the damage" with a mischievous smirk

When it starts to rain David Cutcliffe looks outside appraisingly with his hands on his hips and says "The grass really needed some watering"

DAVID CUTCLIFFE ALWAYS TYPES LIKE THIS BECAUSE HE DOESN"T KNOW HOW TO TURN OFF CAPS LOCK

Oh damn, did you just go shots fired on Joe?

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin

A TKP MODERATOR WAS TYPING IN ALL CAPS, YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT HAPPENED NEXT!

David Cutcliffe gives you a Werther's original when you ask for one, but when you ask for another he says "he doesn't have anymore" as he tries to stealthily hide the bag full of them.

David Cutcliffe thinks mascots shouldn't be taken too seriously and chuckles to himself every time Wasknick posts the Gritty gif.

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

David Cutcliffe happily gives your wife some candy 🍬

Let's Go

HOKIES

David Cutcliffe started a go-fund-me for Josh Jacksons ankle

uva - the taint of the ACC
Callused perineum is a symptom of being a uva fan

Cutcliffe locker room motivation speech:


.

Now finish up them taters; I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.

David Cutcliffe enjoys (1) top shelf whiskey neat after a long day of coaching

No this is too nice.

David Cutcliffe mixes top shelf whiskey with Food Lion brand cola. He'll put a little squeeze of pre-packaged citrus juice for extra flavor

David Cutcliffe always gives his doctors a pat on the back and a "good job" after they just gave him his hernia exam.

uva - the taint of the ACC
Callused perineum is a symptom of being a uva fan

Last time Mrs. CPA and I went to dinner, I asked for the check and the server told me David Cutcliffe already paid it.

Virginia Tech would walk right up to you and punch you in the neck. They're just tougher. Cowherd 3:16

David Cutcliffe sits in the left turn lane and guns it on a solid green thinking he can make it across before the cars that have the right-of-way go.

"What kind of person would throw away a perfectly good dog?"

Sounds like you've driven in Wythe County...

It's terrible in Richmond. Horrible traffic patterns + potholes galore + a lot of really stupid drivers.

"What kind of person would throw away a perfectly good dog?"

David Cutcliffe believes Moe's is a good alternative and worthy competitor to Chipotle.

Let's Go

HOKIES

i puked in my mouth reading this...

...side note: visited a place called Barbacoa in PCB while on vacation. The rest of their locations are in Utah. Beats Moe's and Chipotle, hands down.

TKPhi Damn Proud
BSME 2009

Cutcliffe thinks that dc was railroaded by the community

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin

Cutcliffe motorboats with his eyes open

uva - the taint of the ACC
Callused perineum is a symptom of being a uva fan

Using /s is for cowards.

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

David Cutcliffe once accidentally threw away his silverware at Panera.

And then went to the manager and offered to pay for it.

Using /s is for cowards.

David Cutcliffe only takes 1 fork and one napkin from Chipotle.

"What are you going to do, stab me? - Quote from Man Stabbed

David Cutcliffe buys bottles of Tobasco sauce at the store instead of taking the free ones they give out at Chipotle.

I love a good nap. Sometimes that's all that's getting me out of bed in the morning.

David Cutcliffe prefers Texas Pete over Tobasco

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin

He is a coach in North Carolina... so that totally makes sense.
Texas Pete

Coach Cutcliffe thinks the "Frank and Hank" show is overrated. And Hank should only get 2 walks a day.

I told him I’d crawl on my hands and knees to be the DL coach at Virginia Tech. Now, all of a sudden, I’m sitting in this chair and I told him I’d still crawl on my hands and knees to work here. I just want to be here.
JC Price

Coach Cutcliffe keeps a bully stick treat in his back pocket for Hank and some extra Werthers just in case Frank forgot.

I told him I’d crawl on my hands and knees to be the DL coach at Virginia Tech. Now, all of a sudden, I’m sitting in this chair and I told him I’d still crawl on my hands and knees to work here. I just want to be here.
JC Price

David Cutcliffe complains about downvotes.

David Cutcliffe thinks points matter on "Who's Line is it Anyway"

David Cutcliffe low-key posts on TKP under his initials, and added the name of his former player Shaun Wilson for anonymity sake.......

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin

David Cutcliffe just found out that flamingoes sometimes fall asleep in cold water that then freezes around their feet. They then have to wait until the warmer part of the day when it melts or peck their way out. He finds this quite hilarious.

Here lies It's a Stroman Jersey I Swear, surpassed in life by no one because he intercepted it.

"Yes I am going to have favorites. My favorites are high production and low maintenance players, coaches, and staff." - JMFF

I once saw David Cutcliffe take a hair dryer out to warm up the ice so that the flamingo could free itself. While the hair dryer was doing its work, he pulled a live fish from the water, chewed it up, and regurgitated it into the flamingo's mouth so that it wouldn't go hungry. When the flamingo was free, he gave it a Werther's Original, gently knuckled it on the chin, and told it to be careful, it's a tough world out there.

David Cutcliffe gets hit in the face with a football during practice - immediately apologizes and blames himself for standing in the way.

Cutcliffe gives you a leg even when he doesn't like what you posted. Hell of a guy.... I mean he sucks

David Cutcliffe once felt so bad for Hokie Nation after a loss to a crappy upstart FBS team that he let them beat duke.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..