In this crazy time, it is still important to find the humor in life. Laughing at crazy stuff is one thing we can all do while stuck at home.
So I found this and thought I would share. How many of these can you relate to?
Quarentine Humor
Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.
I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe.
I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.
Still haven't decided where to go for Easter ----- The Living Room or The Bedroom
PSA: every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.
Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.
I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we'd go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone
This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog..... we laughed a lot.
So, after this quarantine.....will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them?
Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.
My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.
Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.
I'm so excited --- it's time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?
I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I'm getting tired of Los Livingroom.
Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.
Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said "I hope I don't have the same teacher next year".... I'm offended.
What else can we add?
Comments
A little rewrite I did to the Johnny Paycheck classic:
"Take this 'tine and shove it,
I ain't stayin in here no more,
COVID done came and took all the reasons, I was livin for,
You better not try to stand in my, cuz I'm walkin out that door,
Take this 'tine and shove it,
I ain't stayin in here no more..."
I think I'm going to come out of this as an amazing cook with a drinking problem
Sounds about right
What if you entered the quarantine with a drinking problem?
If you're a chemist, you know that a drinking problem is really about alcohol solutions.
Alcohol isn't the answer, it's the question. "Yes" is the answer.
I'm an older Millennial. Social Alcoholism comes with the territory.
Some people call me an alcoholic. I'm not an alchoholic, I'm a drunk. There's a difference.
Alcoholics have to go to those fuckin' meetings.
Been to 46 different breweries in the last two years with my girlfriend. Needless to say, it's been rough Since quarantine started. We don't know what to do with ourselves
46, that's it?
I can do that many thinking I'm standing on my head.
You need a good laugh?
Here's one.
This family always posts funny videos
I watched this and the "I Wanna Know What Day It Is" one. They were hilarious.
Good Lord I'm watching Women's Handball from Russia and I don't have a clue what year!
handball is awesome. I always hate how they never cover it in the Olympics.
The funniest joke I've encountered so far during quarantine is the little blurb on the back of the digiorno box that says
(Zoolander voice): "What is this? A serving size for ants?!?!"
I just have to say that this is the funniest video ever, hilarious, they nailed it, thanks for posting.
That was very well done, and spot on.
I can't stop watching this.
Have you thought about seeking professional help? :)
So to set the stage my wife and I have given up sugar (milk and whole fruits still okay) We've lost a bunch of weight.
Wife: I think I'm allergic to chocolate.
Me: Why do you think that?
Wife: Since I've stopped eating it I have needed my inhaler.
Me: Well sounds like an added benefit, so what's for dinner?
Wife: I want to order in
Me: Uh huh ...
Wife: You said that it's not a bad idea tp support local restaurants we like during the stay at home.
Me: Yes, they need customers right now, but why do you want to eat out?
Wife: Because I agree with you
.... Food is delivered and there is a chocolate molten lava cake.
Me: So you thought it was a good idea to help the local businesses?
Wife: shut up,its a pandemic and I need chocolate
Me: Even if you are allergic?
Wife: Its not proven and could just be that I don't have my pollen allergy this year because I haven't left the house.
Didn't see the Dog's Breakfast Grand Final in this list, or the follow up:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPhpJuraz14
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2BZNowCXws
Great call on both, and best competition we'll see for a few months