Landers Nolley missed the Liberty exhibition because of an "NCAA initial-eligibility issue"

The Roanoke Times reported blue-chip wing Landers Nolley missed the Liberty exhibition because of an "NCAA initial-eligibility issue".

Clarke was not the only one absent from the team bench Sunday.

The Hokies also played without freshman forward Landers Nolley. Williams said Nolley did not play because of an NCAA initial-eligibility issue "that we're trying to figure out."

Nolley was a unanimous 4-star recruit.


"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

Blame it on the support staff

Come to Blacksburg and see what the Hokie Pokie is really all about

Tyrod did it Mikey, Tyrod did it!!

Danny Coale Caught That Ball!!!

"And guess what, you've wandered into our school of tuna and we now have a taste of lion." -Allen Gamble, The Other Guys

Now finish up them taters; I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.

Someone better be shipping a shitload of Hardee's coupons to the NCAA this morning.

"I regret nothing. The end." - Ron Swanson


I can imagine no more rewarding a career. And any man who may be asked in this century what he did to make his life worthwhile, I think can respond with a good deal of pride and satisfaction:
“I served in the United States Navy"



No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

Bojangles, but that said...

Pretty sure there's a joke flying around the internet somewhere about buying random stuff using Hardee's coupons. Hence, Hardee's, and not Bojangles. Though both are really good for certain things.

Has anyone heard anything on this?

I heard that it should be cleared up within the week.

The old "Herpes-Cold-Sore" method huh?

Outspoken team cake advocate. Hates terrapins. Resident Macho Man Gif Poster. Distant cousin to Dork Magic. Frequently misspells words.

Hope it is faster than that. Our first game is in 3 days.

Is the eligibility issue that he couldn't enroll in classes because HokieSPA sucks? Seemed like every semester I was dealing with some issue or another because of some stupid crap it pulled.

Click here to destroy wall.

I've only logged into HokieSPA a few times to pull up some information and I already hated it. Please don't tell me I have to use that to enroll in classes :( I mean, it's probably better than the old dumb terminals we used to use but...

Click here to destroy wall.

Good news is I didn't have to deal with Hokie Spa yesterday.

The bad news is that's because registration for January has already closed and Drop/Add doesn't open until the 24th so I still have to deal with Hokie Spa.

He probably tried to use HokieSPA to enroll in Freshman English and instead it signed him up for Quantum and Solid State Phyics as pass/fail only.

I found TKP after two rails from TOTS then walking back to my apartment and re-watching the 2012 Sugar Bowl. I woke up the next day with this username.

I re-watched the 2012 Sugar Bowl after the game was over. I think we missed on 3 INTs.

I didn't go to work the next day.

I was a long snapper in high school.

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

I drive a Dodge Stratus

"I regret nothing. The end." - Ron Swanson

On purpose?

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

I can do 100 push-ups in 20 minutes

Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in this history of mankind.

Mankind -- that word should have new meaning for all of us today.

We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore.

We will be united in our common interests.

Perhaps its fate that today is the 4th of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom, not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution -- but from annihilation.

We're fighting for our right to live, to exist.

And should we win the day, the 4th of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day when the world declared in one voice:

"We will not go quietly into the night!

We will not vanish without a fight!

We're going to live on!

We're going to survive!

Today, we celebrate our Independence Day!"

I found TKP after two rails from TOTS then walking back to my apartment and re-watching the 2012 Sugar Bowl. I woke up the next day with this username.

Hey, if any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?

"I regret nothing. The end." - Ron Swanson

If we can hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.

Click here to destroy wall.


Let's Go



So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.

21st century QBs Undefeated vs UVA:
MV7, MV5, LT3, Josh Jackson, Jerod Evans, Michael Brewer, Tyrod Taylor, Sean Glennon, and Grant Noel. That's right, UVA. You couldn't beat Grant Noel.

The Beard,

I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don't like the feeling. You're sitting there, you're wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested but I'm not really interested, or should I play like I'm interested, but I'm not that interested, but I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested, but now she's not interested? So all of the sudden I'm getting, I'm starting to get interested and when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it's awkward, it's like, well goodnight. You do like that ass-out hug where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out cause you're trying not to get too close. Do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don't kiss them at all? It's very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you're just really wondering, are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions? Perhaps play a little game called "just the tip". Just for a second, just to see how it feels. Or, ouch, ouch you're on my hair.

Well, uh I guess I, deep down, am feeling a little confused. I mean, suddenly, you get married, and you're supposed to be this entirely different guy. I don't feel different. I mean, take yesterday for example. We were out at the Olive Garden for dinner, which was lovely. And, uh, I happen to look over at a certain point during the meal and see a waitress taking an order, and I found myself wondering what color her underpants might be. Her panties. Uh, odds are they are probably basic white, cotton, underpants. But I sort of think, well, maybe they're silk panties, maybe it's a thong. Maybe it's something really cool that I don't even know about. You know, and uh, and I started feeling... what? What, I thought we were in the trust tree in the nest, were we not?

"I regret nothing. The end." - Ron Swanson

SHUT UP! Enough already, Ballstein! Who cares about Derek Zoolander anyway? The man has only one look, for Christ's sake! Blue Steel? Ferrari? Le Tigra? They're the same face! Doesn't anybody notice this? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! I invented the piano key necktie, I invented it! What have you done, Derek? You've done nothing! NOTHIIIING! And I will be a monkey's uncle if I let you ruin this for me, because if you can't get the job done, then I will! Die, you wage-hiking scum!

We put the K in Kwality

Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.

All right, you primitive screw-heads, listen up! See this? This... is my boomstick! It's a twelve-gauge, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt-blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right... shop smart: shop S-Mart... Ya got that?!

That watch costs more than your car. I made $970,000 last year. How much'd you make? You see, pal, that's who I am, and you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Good father? Fuck you! Go home and play with your kids. You wanna work here - close! You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you cocksucker? You can't take this, how can you take the abuse you get on a sit? You don't like it, leave. I can go out there tonight with the materials you've got and make myself $15,000. Tonight! In two hours! Can you? Can YOU? Go and do likewise. A-I-D-A. Get mad you son of a bitches, get mad. You want to know what it takes to sell real estate? It takes BRASS BALLS to sell real estate. Go and do likewise, gents. Money's out there. You pick it up, it's yours. You don't, I got no sympathy for you. You wanna go out on those sits tonight and close, CLOSE. It's yours. If not, you're gonna be shining my shoes. And you know what you'll be saying - a bunch of losers sittin' around in a bar. 'Oh yeah. I used to be a salesman. It's a tough racket.' These are the new leads. These are the Glengarry leads. And to you they're gold, and you don't get them. Why? Because to give them to you is just throwing them away. They're for closers. I'd wish you good luck but you wouldn't know what to do with it if you got it. And to answer your question, pal, why am I here? I came here because Mitch and Murray asked me to. They asked me for a favor. I said the real favor, follow my advice and fire your fucking ass, because a loser is a loser.

"I regret nothing. The end." - Ron Swanson

I was in Thailand, playing Ping-Pong in Ding Dang. I was in a real high-stakes game in some opium den. Turned out the guys I was playing aren't the kind of guys who like to lose. After I beat them... they beat me. Worked me over pretty good..... Aaaand this is hard to say... but they held me down... and they shoved a ping pong paddle up my ass. It's never been the same. I'm damaged goods.

Think big, think positive, never show any sign of weakness. Always go for the throat. Buy low, sell high. Fear? That's the other guy's problem. Nothing you have ever experienced will prepare you for the absolute carnage you are about to witness. Super Bowl, World Series - they don't know what pressure is. In this building, it's either kill or be killed. You make no friends in the pits and you take no prisoners. One minute you're up half a million in soybeans and the next, boom, your kids don't go to college and they've repossessed your Bentley. Are you with me?

If you're not sure if my comment warrants a "/s", it probably does.

Why shouldn't I work for the N.S.A.? That's a tough one, but I'll take a shot. Say I'm working at the N.S.A. Somebody puts a code on my desk, something nobody else can break. Maybe I take a shot at it and maybe I break it. And I'm real happy with myself, 'cause I did my job well. But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East. Once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels were hiding and fifteen hundred people that I never met and that I never had no problem with get killed. Now the politicians are sayin', "Send in the marines to secure the area" 'cause they don't give a shit. It won't be their kid over there, gettin' shot. Just like it wasn't them when their number was called, 'cause they were pullin' a tour in the National Guard. It'll be some kid from Southie takin' shrapnel in the ass. And he comes home to find that the plant he used to work at got exported to the country he just got back from. And the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job, 'cause he'll work for fifteen cents a day and no bathroom breaks. Meanwhile he realizes the only reason he was over there in the first place was so we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price. And of course the oil companies used the skirmish over there to scare up domestic oil prices. A cute little ancillary benefit for them but it ain't helping my buddy at two-fifty a gallon. They're takin' their sweet time bringin' the oil back, and maybe even took the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink martinis and fuckin' play slalom with the icebergs, and it ain't too long 'til he hits one, spills the oil and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic. So now my buddy's out of work and he can't afford to drive, so he's walking to the fuckin' job interviews, which sucks 'cause the schrapnel in his ass is givin' him chronic hemorroids. And meanwhile he's starvin' 'cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat the only blue plate special they're servin' is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State. So what did I think? I'm holdin' out for somethin' better. I figure, fuck it, while I'm at it, why not just shoot my buddy, take his job and give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard? I could be elected president.

Wait a minute here, Alum. What the hell's so wrong with kissing your dog? And while I'd love for your comment to be a "dog whistle" for something else, I'd probably be wrong. Still, I'll take it that way and smile contentedly to myself all day.

Reel men fish on Wednesdays

You serious, Clark?

"I regret nothing. The end." - Ron Swanson

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@BuryHokie #ThanksFrank

I am serious, and don't call me Shirley.

* pink miata

I can imagine no more rewarding a career. And any man who may be asked in this century what he did to make his life worthwhile, I think can respond with a good deal of pride and satisfaction:
“I served in the United States Navy"


Did I miss something?

I have to return some videotapes.

you forgot to rewind, you bastard

"Welcome to the Terror Dome." -- Corey Moore

“Also, a microwave has never danced it's ass off to Jackie Wilson.” - AssPocketFullOWhiskey

If you have to ask, you're lost already. Pro tip for you though: If it ain't chartreuse, it ain't no use.

Reel men fish on Wednesdays

There are three rules I live by: never get less than twelve hours of sleep: never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city, and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger anywhere on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.

never get less than twelve hours of sleep signed him up for Quantum and Solid State Phyics...

Lucky devil.

If you're not sure if my comment warrants a "/s", it probably does.

"What are you going to do, stab me? - Quote from Man Stabbed

Sorry to interrupt the memes, but per TSL, Nolley should be back with the team very shortly.

The coupons cleared. Noice

"I regret nothing. The end." - Ron Swanson

Somebody made the last-minute switch to Bo Time

I just sit on my couch and b*tch. - HokieChemE2016

Good Lord! We were supposed to give him Bojangles coupons, not Bojangles itself.

"Sooner or later, if man is ever to be worthy of his destiny, we must fill our heart with tolerance."
-Stan Lee

"Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing."
-Ron Swanson

"11-0, bro"
-Hunter Carpenter (probably)

They better not change a thing. If they mess with my cajun filet biscuits there will be hell to pay. Fields will burn. Villages will be pillaged.

Danny Coale Caught That Ball!!!

So jealous of you guys, we don't have any Bojangles in Texas. Every time I fly home for Christmas I will typically fly through Charlotte and always save room for a couple Cajun Chicken Biscuits. It's worth the layover in Charlotte.

Yeah, but you got WhataBurger. Last time I was in Oklahoma, WhataBurger breakfast burritos were a three day a week tradition, minimum. And do you have Brauns where you are?

Do you mean Braum's, as in Braum's dairy. That place is the best...Only in Kansas, Oklahoma, and Texas I believe. Products come fresh from the actual Braum's dairy in Kansas...

Damn, you right. It's been over a decade since I ate at one, couldn't pull the name off the top of my head. Braum's was awesome in Altus, OK, may I never go there again.

ohhhh yes sweet sweet Whataburger. Patty Melt is my go to, and yes the breakfast taquitos are the shit. I also highly recommend the honey butter chicken biscuit.

Yes there are Braums but not that many.

Whataburger is on every corner, and I don't know how I lived without it for the first 35 years of my life.

Trogdor was a man!
I mean, he was a dragon-man
Or maybe he was just a dragon...
But he was still Trogdor!

"Oi! What's a Horkie"
"I am ya Grot!"

"Horkies were made for two fings foighten' and winnen'" - Horkie Warboss

"That Gritty git doesn't exactly look like a Horkie, but by Gork and Mork it acts like one!"-Random Horkie Boy


Trogdor is also excellent at burninating sections of resumes that I'm too lazy to actually edit 😂

Danny Coale Caught That Ball!!!

Is it Bo Time already?

Pssst....she's evil.

If you're not sure if my comment warrants a "/s", it probably does.

Just not tonight, I guess. He's enrolled in classes, right? What's the deal? Exit visa needed from Georgia?

"That man was violating a city ordinance, and I was just doing my duty to enforce it." - Mike Curtis

"You boys in there smokin' rope?"-Johnny Unitas (circa 1973) to his San Diego Chargers teammates

You people have lost your minds

"I regret nothing. The end." - Ron Swanson

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@BuryHokie #ThanksFrank

It only took you 3 years and 13 comments to figure that out. Welcome to TKP!

"What are you going to do, stab me? - Quote from Man Stabbed

First thing that came to my mind as well. I really hope to leave Lane next week feeling like this!

Although, I could stand for the game to not be so close......

This thread is why I love this community.

Anyone know if he is dressing for tonight's game?

"And guess what, you've wandered into our school of tuna and we now have a taste of lion." -Allen Gamble, The Other Guys

Dressing? It would be embarrassing if he didn't, wouldn't it?

Reel men fish on Wednesdays