#goacc Power Rankings: Week 8

"OH WHAT THE HELL?!?"

It was a completely appropriate question. I had just checked college football scores on my phone, and at that moment Virginia, Wake Forest and Georgia Tech were up (or won) by a combined score of 102 to 3. And while the question itself was appropriate, asking it out loud in the back of a car driven by my girlfriend's mom was probably not as appropriate.

The thing is, I didn't even care. It was a weird thing to do in a week that was way too weird.

In honor of the weekend that played games with so many people's hearts, I'm also breaking down the teams into which video game they would be, and why.

The Dave Shinskie Division

(Dregs of the conference)

14. Virginia (2-5, LW: L 35-22 vs Duke): When I'm on the radio, we talk constantly about quarterbacks that "get it". It's that mythical, inexplicable quality that no one can quite define without using the term itself. "Tom Brady just gets it because...he gets it," and so on. I always roll my eyes when the term comes up, because it blows my mind that something so asinine and intangible is used to judge the most important position in the most popular sport in America. In fact, if there is a position in any level of football that has to "get it", wouldn't be the head coach of a college football team? It's a position of authority, but it requires an exact balance between football coach, slick recruiter, guidance counselor, and chaperone. Head coaches are in their players' lives for years in all of those roles. That's why, especially as players grow older, they emulate the attitude and persona of their head coach.

A coach that "gets it" understands the way his players look at him will impact the way they act on the field. The personalities of great coaches are seen in their teams, both for better or worse.

Last year's national championship game is the perfect example. Alabama had a purely Saban mindset: business. They didn't come into the game with confidence, they came in with the expectation to win. Notre Dame came into the game also emulating their coach, with a nervous, shit-your-pants intensity that worked against them almost immediately (the lesson, as always, is that Brian Kelly is a lunatic).

That being said, when your coach goes through a roller coaster of emotions every game, your team will follow suit. When your coach turns to complain to the officials while his team is surrendering a twenty-point lead, your team will probably look at the refs during a close game. There won't be much composure, nor any will to fight when the going gets tough.

In summary, Mike London doesn't get it. His team has adopted his demeanor, and they could be a two-win team because of it.

If Virginia was a video game, they would be___: One of those Tiger handheld games from the 90s. They're only fun for about twenty minutes before you get bored and have to mute them before other people in the room start to get annoyed.

The Cameron Sexton Division

(Not the worst...but close)

13. NC State (3-3, LW: BYE): Let's say that you had a little money to play with (if you didn't know this was a humor column before...), and you decide to start looking at investment bankers. There is one guy that works for a medium-sized firm that can promise with nearly 100 percent certainty that you will make your money back, plus a little profit, every single year. The gains aren't huge, but you definitely make money every year. There's another guy at a small firm that has made a ton of money previously, but he was making the money with accounts that were set up and developed by his predecessor. He's promising you big time money, but can you trust him to take you money and consistently work up to expectations when he's working all by himself? You wouldn't fully commit to that, right? Wouldn't you rather make sure you get your money back?

Welcome to the Dave Doeren experience in Raleigh.

If NC State was a video game, they would be___: Wii Sports. There's a lot of movement, but not a whole lot that gets accomplished.

12. Syracuse (3-4, LW: L 56-0 @ Georgia Tech): Which is more telling, that a Syracuse team without any semblance of a passing game lost to Georgia Tech by 56, or that the same flightless team beat NC State by two scores? This team is destined to do one of two things: go 4-8 and desperately look for quarterback help from this poor sucker that just committed, or go 6-6 and bore twelve people to death playing in the Military Bowl. Other than that, there has never been more life in this Orange program.

If Syracuse was a video game, they would be___: Anything on the Sega Genesis. It's pretty archaic and no one really talks about it anymore.

11. North Carolina (1-5, LW: L 27-23 vs Miami):: The question for Larry Fedora isn't whether or not they'll make a bowl this year, that answer is pretty obvious, but whether or not this will be a fixable project. The Butch Davis-era players are almost all gone, and as we've seen from, you know, history, UNC has the potential to be a really bad program. I'm not saying that we'll see a slip into the John Bunting years, but something tells me that Fedora's job will be a little harder than anticipated.

If North Carolina was a video game, they would be___: They would be Madden, but more specifically one of those dudes online that quits if they're losing in the last two minutes.

The Peter Lalich Skinner Division

(Just go away Peter...for everyone's sake)

10. Wake Forest (4-3, LW: W 34-10 vs Maryland): Does this mean anything at all? Seriously, Wake Forest isn't any good, yet is somehow two wins away from becoming bowl eligible. Not only that, but they assassinated both Stefon Diggs AND Deon Long, fulfilling Jim Grobe's quest to prove that his Demon Deacons aren't the most unwatchable team in the ACC. Good job Jim, now we all can't have nice things.

If Wake Forest was a video game, they would be___: The Oregon Trail. It's slow, methodical, and you know that there are way more things that could go wrong than could go right.

9. Maryland (5-2, LW: L 34-10 @ Wake Forest): In a matter of three weeks, Maryland has gone from an exciting team on the rise to a boring team whose quarterback hasn't been the same since suffering a concusion against FSU. Look, I know you're all thinking about the time I rubbed it in y'alls face when the Terps made the top-25, and that Randy Edsall doesn't need anyone else to provide him with more jinxes, but let's just move on, shall we?

If Maryland was a video game, they would be___: StarFox 64. It's fast, fun and most importantly...always an adventure for the viewer (note: this was written before Diggs and Long went down).

The Riley Skinner Division

(They'll do...whatever they're super average and no one really cares)

8. Boston College (3-3, LW: BYE):Speaking of jinxes. I've been talking about it all season, complaining that the Eagles haven't gotten enough noon kickoffs from the ACC to be able to use one of the best advantageous home field non-advantages in the country (I once heard that Chuck Amato fell asleep on the sideline for thirty solid minutes before being woken by a screaming Philip Rivers). Right after I said that, it comes out that BC's game against Virginia Tech will be at noon. I'll just write an apology to both the readers of this column as well as the ESPN, ESPN2, or ABC audience that will watch Cody Journell attempt eight field goals while punts total into the teens.

If Boston College was a video game, they would be___: Super Mario. It's a classic, fun to play for a little while, but its flaws are clear when compared to a better quality product.

7. Duke (5-2, LW: W 35-22 @ Virginia): Did Duke get the absolutely perfect coach for their team? I couldn't shake this thought as I watched the Fighting Cutcliffes stick it second-half style to the Wahoos. It's not just that he has a level of patience usually reserved for Kindergarten teachers and AARP support specialists, but he's the perfect age. If a young guy got the Duke job (a Gus Malzahn type), he'd be gone after his first whiff of success. Where's Cutcliffe going to go? At 59, he's not necessarily an easy sell to your fan base, regardless of his success. Duke has a guy with the ability to turn the team into a semi-success without the annual threat of another team poaching him away. Good for Duke. That uber-successful private school with the dynasty level basketball program really needed something else to work out for them.

If Duke was a video game, they would be___: Operation. So what that it's not a video game, sue them. They're new to this whole "football" thing just as board games were new to the whole "video game" thing. They just try their hardest to get by.

6. Pittsburgh (4-2, LW: 35-24 vs Old Dominion): It's unclear whether or not Tom Savage's mere 18 pass attempts against Andy Bitter's favorite team were due to the Monarch's lack of run defense or Savage suffering PTSD (post traumatic sack disorder). It's quite possible that Savage told Paul Chryst that he would move to Canada should his team put him through that again. As always, #Pray4Savage.

If Pittsburgh was a video game, they would be___: Portal. If you like it, you REALLY like it (in a get off my lawn kind of way). If you don't, well you can't really stand to watch it and never give it a second thought.

5. Georgia Tech (4-3, LW: W 56-0 vs Syracuse): Is five too high? Yes, it's absolutely too high for a team that just came off a three game losing streak. The only reason they get to be here is because they have the least amount of potential to come back and bite me in the behind. We know exactly what they are, and what they bring to the table on a week-by-week basis. While they're not great, and probably aren't particularly that good either, at least they bring some sort of consistency to this insane middle of the pack.

If Georgia Tech was a video game, they would be___: Pong. Much like the triple option, it coming back was cool and all but it's more of a novelty and not really fun to watch.

The Tyrod Taylor (2008 edition) Division

Knocking on the door of greatness

4. Virginia Tech (6-1, LW: BYE):: I'm not going to make a single comment on how high we could see Tech rise, and whether or not they have a puncher's chance at going to the Orange Bowl...or something like that. I'm just not going to talk about it. You can't make me. I see your forum topics, and I just skip over them. I WILL NOT BE THE ONE TO JINX THESE GUYS.

If Virginia Tech was a video game, they would be___: Mario Kart 64. It's a classic with very serious staying power. Sure, it has its problems and glitches, but there's nothing to complain about here.

3. Miami (6-0, LW: W 27-23 @ North Carolina): This is getting dangerous. Not Miami as a team, but Miami as a potential top-10 "disappointment" after getting utterly destroyed by Florida State in two weeks. Seriously, if they give up 500 yards to a team using two quarterbacks, and one of those quarterbacks throws an arm punt with his first pass of the game, what will Heisman Jameis do to them? The Seminoles could actually put up 700 yards on the Canes, with relative ease. It's not Miami's fault that a win over a Florida team that, well, I'll let someone more knowledgeable than me say it, propelled them high into the rankings, they just play the teams on their scheduled. That being said, this isn't a top-10 caliber team. Not even close.

(By the way, that Heisman Jameis nickname is still in beta, trying a few more out to see what sticks).

If Miami was a video game, they would be___: Grand Theft Auto. Come on guys...some jokes just write themselves.

The Tajh Boyd Division

(They promise that they're better than that...they really do)

2. Clemson (6-1, LW: L 51-14 vs Florida State): They're not that bad. They rode a last-second victory over LSU in a non-BCS game last year to a preseason ranking that was probably too high. They lost a ton of talent on offense fromthe last two years, and the defense wasn't good enough to begin with. Are they a top-10 team? My gut says no, but since I don't think Miami or Tech are top-10 either, this still earns Clemson the second spot in my rankings.

(PS: I loved every single blogger defend Clemsoning like it was their child. As soon as the first few jokes were made on Twitter, the college football blogger Illuminati went into full fledged term protection mode, as to make sure the casual college football plebian realizes that it's not his or her term to use.)

(PPS: What would the induction into the college football Illuminati look like? The only thing I have pictured in my head is Spencer Hall and Holly Anderson standing over you with a bottle of bourbon and a snake once co-owned by Mike Leach and Dana Holgorsen on a table behind them. Fun group.)

If Clemson was a video game, they would be___: The NCAA college football series. It was awesome, but just isn't quite what it used to be.

The Jameis Winston Division

(On another planet)

1. Florida State (6-0, LW: W 51-14 @ Clemson): This isn't just the best team in the conference, this is possibly the best team in the nation. Everyone knows the stat, but they have beaten two consecutive top-25 opponents (RIP Randy Edsall) by a combined score of 114-14. It's not only that, but the way they did it. Maryland came into Tallahassee with an underrated defense and an efficient passing game. The Seminoles dropped over 600 yards on the Terps and made C.J. Brown's life hell for his entire stint in the game...until knocking him out 1980's Mike Tyson-style.

Clemson had home field advantage, a Heisman candidate at quarterback, and a defense that rushes the passer excellently. With one play at the end of the first quarter (the Mario Edwards touchdown), the Florida State defense both silenced the crowd and turned Tajh Boyd into a zombie. And how did that awesome Tiger pass rush fare against Famous Jameis? The only way to describe it was that Winston swagged around the pressure. Not danced, juked or ran, no. He swagged around both in the pocket and outside of it. Clemson could have blitzed 13 guys and Winston would have thrown a touchdown.

I have an entire theory as to why Florida State stands a better chance to beat Alabama than Oregon does, but I'll save that for late November.

If Florida State was a video game, they would be___: They're the first kid on your block with a new video game system. Just ahead of everyone else.