'Crootsmas Eve

Twas the night before Crootsmas, the first of Pry's reign
Each new coach was stirring, in rooms deep in Lane
Most offers were sent by the prior regime
In hopes a top 25 class would gain steam
The veterans were nestled all snug in their dorm
With visions of Gotham, their dreams taking form
And JC with his stogie, and Jones in his print
Hunker right down for a tough crooting stint
When cellphones start ringing a joyful serenade
Coaches dive at the phones, not a moment delayed
Answering calls as they come left and right
Gaining commitments at each hour of night
The moon overhead in the Blacksburger sky
Shone over Worsham Field as each coach lands their guy
And what to our wonderous minds did we see
But a sleighful of dudes and Wahoo debris
These Croots all committed 800%
A great first class for our coach named Brent
More rapid than André on fly routes they came
Excited with each, we'll call them by name
Now, Gunner, Now Ferrell , Now Benji, and Johnson
On, Orji, On Enzo, On Turner, and Ladson
To the top of the Coast, to the top of the league
Now gobble on, gobble on, gobble blitzkrieg.