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This plan works a lot better if your wife's team is the one that always loses.
If Tulane get an invite they have a great history of membership in football conferences: SIAA, Southern, SEC, CUSA, AAC and now maybe Big 12.
My face when they do this:

I guess I am that bad at geography, because I couldn't point out East Carolina on a map. Pretty sure I can find North and South Carolina though.
And all the "real" running game we ran in situations like we'll see in the future, worked. Even though the play calling was vanilla/mismatched, it was well sequenced and worked. In the words of Doge, "much hide."

You wanna troll them good?
Just remind them they were the first to be eliminated for Big 12 expansion in a decision that saw the likes of Colorado State, SMU, Cinci, Air Force, Rice, Tulane, and USF move on. Because that SEC invite is waiting for a team a desperate conference passed on in lieu of Tulane football.
This is what I imagined.

Forgot that Loo-ville is in the ACC.

Wisconsin to 10th? What a jump...
What the hell is Miami doing playing in Boone?
I thought the same thing when they mentioned it. Apparently this will be the first time App St. hosts a P5 school, and will play in Miami in 2021.
Sauces: Miami Herald - Hurricanes to Play at App St
Best defense for that may be Fuente's offense forcing the game into Dobbs' hands.
I know it may seem a bit unlikely, but if we can break out to a 14-0 start or better, I feel like it may shift their game plan away from the run to the air, and could do exactly what you said.
Also, I may put too much hope in our defensive front and not enough respect for their OL, but I think we have a good chance at containing their run game enough to force them to pass. If we miss assignments or struggle to bring down Hurd/Kamara/Dobbs and they start gashing us, it's going to be a long night.
Oh that Sugar Bowl was fun with a capital FU to Texas

Eastern Carolina fans have a real insecurity complex. They've spent decades trying to relevant to someone in the state of Northern Carolina, that didn't go to the school and are still waiting for that validation. It's too easy to troll them, like the NCSU writer did.
winner winner chicken dinner........so here's the rub......Bryan still was the MVP of the 1995 sugar bowl against that 'other' UT........see where I'm going here with the karma thing......?
13 lbs does make a big difference
Bryan Still
hint #2 - I Still think this guy is one of the best players VT ever had....that hint should make one of your three answers stand out.......
Directional Carolina
Wow, well I guess the Vols really aren't a top 10 team...
All jokes aside, I'm surprised they fell that far and I'm disappointed that it's no longer a battle of VT underdog vs top 10 SEC.
Bryan Still, Antonio Freeman, Ken Oxendine?
It. Was. One. Game.
Seems Relevant: Fans marry in Battle at Bristol-themed wedding
OK...seems pretty slow on here tonight.........Hint #1:
played for VT in the years between 1990 and 1999, and did not play defense.
Yep, that's what I was referring to. I also listened to a little bit of his post-game interview with their radio team, and there was more of this. He's probably right, but I just don't think you should be airing that in public. It just sounds like excuses. I also got a kick out of his mastery of the use of "umm" and "uh"...

Try not to hold her sins against her, but remember, she had the affliction before you got married.
Edit: Just be glad it's a team VT almost never plays against. Though I'd love to see that change.