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this guy. . .
no, that's exactly what i'm saying. i think if vince gill rolled up ol' green shoals rd in harts, wv and told my grandma to get in, she would've told my grandpa 'later.'
Still have a remnant black lung cough every once in a while from living in Thomas. Those kids keep getting smarter though. They now put AC filters in between the screen and the box fan to filter out some of those cancer-causing coal particles.
I was gonna say either that, or someone who literally knows absolutely nothing about football. But then I realized you already covered that:
then this person went to uva
Im surprised my screen didn't spontaneously combust from all the fire in this picture
If this isn't a satire, then this person went to uva
I've been to Huntington once and the most striking thing I noticed while there was the number of gingers in the area. Seriously...they were everywhere.
It reminded me of this:
I can second the notion for Tudors, although I loved the town and their anti WVUism
That actually looks amazing. I'm hungry now. WHY DOESN'T GOOGLE RECOMMEND PLACES LIKE THIS TO ME? Google should know me better.
Oh, and I was hesitant on the coal dust gag, particularly because you're right, that is no joke in a lot of the area (although obviously it's not actually coal dust). I just saw a preview for Oxyana, which is about Oceana (which is closer to Beckley) and shit is depressing.
Speaking of coal dust, how many of y'all lived in Thomas Hall? As a non-smoker, I'll know what to blame my lung cancer on.
No way that is real. It has to be some sort of satire or something
Wait, are you disparaging Vince Gill? Because dude bagged Amy Grant, he's CLEARLY got some serious ladykiller mojo going on.
I am something of an expert on the topic of Huntington, having grown up in Charleston, WV which is just 45 miles or so away.
First:
Anyway, back in the late 1800s, Huntington was in the grips of a crippling coal dust sniffing epidemic that had turned the drug addled town youths into hoodlums and ne'er do wells.
This is totally true and remains so to this day. My sister went to Marshall and I was never so glad to move her out of an apartment. The whole place is still pretty much filled with ne'er do wells. I had to resist the urge to just throw grenades into every open window on our way out of town. When I'm king they'll divert the river around the eastern side of Huntington and give that slice of craptown back to Ohio.
Second:
If you find yourself in WV and are looking for some eats then you should run, not walk, to the nearest Tudor's Biscuit World. Seriously. This place does not fuck around. It's a small family owned chain of breakfast and sometimes lunch places that serves incredible biscuits, almost all of them are named after college football teams in the state. My usual is actually "The Thundering Herd", shut up, it's delicious.
Tudors been profiled several times by Orson Swindle/Spencer Hall at Every Day Should Be Saturday. Some excerpts:
Tudor's Biscuit World would not exist without West Virginia's unique geography. The crossroads of Southern lardfiending and Pennsylvania and Ohio's fetishes for insane portions and ridiculous stacking of meat upon meat form a kind of perfect cardiological nightmare at Tudor's, where the variety of gluttony one can hold in a single hand is greater than that if one could hold a tiny, miniaturized Chris Farley zombie in your palm. The biscuits are as fluffy, heavy, and delectable as a beautiful fat girl's tits, the potatoes can come with gravy or cheese OR BOTH, and the coffee isn't your Starbucks tolulene, but is the hot-as-fucking-fire blue collar jump juice that made America wake up not from caffeine, but instead from the morning scorching of the last remaining taste buds from your tongue.
Facing a menu listing the "Mountaineer," the "Thundering Herd," and the "Black Lunge Hackworthy," we chose the "Rocket." The full name has to be "Rocket (To The Crypt)", as it is a piece of country-fried steak, one large fried egg, and a brick of hashbrowns held together by one gigantic biscuit pie. We were concerned the instant we picked it up and thought "mmm. Heavy."
He has two more years after this to disappoint the FSU faithful, don't worry.
The pylons only have the names of every soldier lost during active duty. The Cenotaph at the center has the Medal of Honor recipients on it.
I believe they are listed on the pylon-pillars and can be found here:
Yeah how about a medal of honor winner. we have those in bunches, right?
BTW where are our medal winners listed? who are they?
My FSU cousin said they now refer to him as Jameis Christ. Noooooooooo pressure
another week, another classic.
some thuoghts: dude, you dont like brisket? so tender and delicious, i was genuinely bummed when the only restaurant in my area that i know of took it off the menu.
my aunt went to marshall. i would forward this to her but i dont think she would get most the jokes. and since my aunt went to marshall my grandparents were marshall fans. my grandma used to tell me "that chad pennington is one fine looking young man." she used to say the same thing about vince gill. rest in peace my apparently horny grandma.
No room on the Broncos. They are STACKED with Welker, Decker, DThomas, and Caldwell.
He has been known to be especially wide open in BOA Stadium. Then just imagine if they were playing the Ravens and Tyrod was in the stadium ... SO OPEN
My Cocaine's biography:
Aaron Rogers needs the D
(hint: there're like 3 jokes in there!)
(hint 2.0: yeah I just used "there're")
LEGS ALL AROUND!
WV has a long history of just not being able to get out of its own way. The situation in most small towns is as follows:
Take a high school class with 100 students in it. The best 20 students graduate, go to college and get high paying jobs out of state. The other 80 stay in town, get married to each other and repeat the cycle. The percentage of the population that holds a college degree is depressingly low but expected because there's nothing to really keep people there, unless you're a doctor or a lawyer there just isn't much industry to anchor people to the area. Mining is important, but shrinking and no longer work-force intensive. There's a substantial amount of tourism and hospitality work that supports some communities, but that's seasonal and still limited. The state is a closed-shop union environment that makes attracting new business difficult. The state leadership is inept and the school superintendent for Kanawaha County (where Charleston is and home to the best public schools in the state) once actively campaigned against public libraries.
I effectively moved away when I went to school at Tech in 1995, resettled to South Carolina permanently in 2000 and now I only go back sporadically during football season after the rest of my family moved south a few years after me. Several years ago I was watching the local news and was surprised at the number of house fires that were reported. There were, no joke, a dozen house fires and I couldn't understand what was going on. The answer? Crank labs. Oxy is also terribly abused (they call it Hillbilly Heroin). And with nothing to attract a positive element to many small communities, this is what you've got all over the place.
It's not all Breaking Bad, Charleston is actually a nicer place to grow up now than when I lived there, there's more to do for underage kids, a growing local arts scene and the downtown area is finally resurgent but you can go 30 miles outside of town and step back 100 years. Parts of WV are about as 3rd world as you can get in the Lower 48.
Fortunately my parents shielded me from most of that (and many of these elements didn't really hit the fan until the financial collapse of the mid 2000s). I also learned to talk from television so I escaped with good non-regional diction, though I am fluent in several dialects of redneck, good-ole-boy, hillbilly *and* hilljack.